Page 20 of Coach Me (Boston Blues #2)

Dex

“So, is Miles okay?” Beck asks as he falls back into the seat next to me on our shuttle ride back to the hotel.

I check my phone for the fifth time in the past half hour. “I think so. Lucie sent a picture of him wrapped up in some blankets on the couch, but I haven’t heard from her since the game ended.”

I angle my phone toward Beck to show him some of the best pictures of Miles I’ve gotten in a long time.

She sent me so many incredible pictures of Miles today that I find it hard to believe she would be ignoring me. Although I will admit the thought to call in a wellness check to our hotel did cross my mind a couple of times.

What’s crossed my mind more is the memory of her in my shirt. I know it isn’t a good idea, but seeing the chills on her arms was too much for me to handle.

There are a lot of things that seem too much for me to handle with her, and if I’m honest with myself it scares the shit out of me .

Beck puts that stupid smile on his face. “She sends you pictures.”

Shit. When he asked me in the locker room where Miles and Lucie were, I should have known he’d come to bug me as soon as the opportunity presented itself.

“She sends me pictures of Miles, you asshole. Don’t be weird.”

“Well, that’s just adorable on her part. You’re being weird with your dry-ass responses. Let me see ’em again.” Beck tries to grab my phone, but I pull it back. “Would it kill you to show a little bit of personality around Lucie? It could work to your benefit.”

“I don’t need it to work for my benefit. I need her to be my nanny.”

Beck chuckles. “I like how you said that. My nanny. It feels very possessive—you should try that with Lucie.”

I count to ten in my head before letting out a deep breath. “Go away.”

“Don’t be so grouchy, Dad.”

I’m going to kill him. “Beck.”

The fucker just laughs. “I told you I’d be back.”

After Lucie and Miles left, the rest of the game felt never-ending. Like some cruel fucking joke, my patience on entertaining Beck’s shit is rather low right now.

“Right, and I told you to drop it.”

“I’d drop it if I weren’t your friend, but, alas, here we are. Don’t think Jordan hasn’t mentioned your little warning to some of the guys.”

“Motherfucker.” Of course he did.

“I’m just saying—as your friend—you were with Kate for years and never once did you get territorial.”

There’s no point in arguing with him. He’s right.

There have been several things I’d never felt the need to do or say with my ex.

Our hookups started out of convenience. We’re both very career-driven people, so while the attraction was there, it just never felt like it should be more.

That is until a broken condom said otherwise.

Things with Kate felt like settling. That’s not a dis on her—she settled with me too. We were simply a situationship, and got married out of obligation, hoping it would work out for the best.

There were never these thoughts of making sure I have an extra hat in my travel bag in case she needed it during the game. I’d never once seen a color and immediately thought of her. There wasn’t this pull to be around Kate. From the start, our marriage felt contractual.

Maybe that makes me an asshole, but I think Kate would agree with everything. If anything, Kate treated every part of these last five years as if it were the second job that she didn’t want to have.

“I’m asking you—as my friend—to drop it. I can’t date her, it’s off the table now. Just let me deal with that and quit reminding me of how badly I’m handling it.”

“Dex, come on. You deserve?—”

“Fuck off, Beck.”

Shit, now the confirmation of me being an asshole is coming from the look on Beck’s face.

“Fine. Be an unhappy dick for the rest of your life.” Beck gets up and walks to the back of the shuttle before I can even say anything.

Fuck, today really went downhill. I’ve got to pull myself together. I don’t know what will make this whole Lucie situation better, but something’s got to give.

Finally returning to our hotel, I unlock the door to our suite. I desperately need sleep, but I can hear the TV. I feel like Lucie would have answered my text if they were still up.

I take roughly three steps deeper into the suite before my heart nearly stops beating in my chest.

Cuddled up on the couch are Lucie and Miles—dead asleep. Miles has his head resting on Lucie’s shoulder as her arm drapes around him. They look so peaceful, so at home and natural. My only saving grace is that Lucie’s no longer wearing my shirt.

And in that moment, it hits me—this attraction is one-sided. I knew that on some level, but accepting it kind of fucking sucks.

Walking up to them, Miles jostles in his sleep for a moment.

I hold my breath, hoping he doesn’t wake up.

I don’t know how long they’ve been asleep—could be ten minutes or an hour—but I know for damn sure that if he fully wakes up there will be no getting him back down, and I’m too tired to deal with a wired kid.

I take them in one more time, even though I know looking isn’t helping me feel better about this whole acceptance thing I’m working through here.

I make my way to our room to get his side of the blankets pulled back and leave the door open so this transfer can go as smoothly as possible.

Back in the living room, I let out a deliberately quiet breath. Neither of them has moved a hair—thank God. Ever so gently, I try to pick Miles up all while doing my best to avoid touching Lucie.

Once Miles is finally secure in my arms, I take a moment to look at his sweet face.

There may not have been love in my marriage, but it’s always been there with Miles.

I never knew such love could exist, really.

It took one cry from him when he was born to know there was nothing in this world I could love more than him.

But at the same…if he wakes up, I’m pretty sure I’ll lose my damn mind.

I hold my breath again as I slowly lay him down in the bed. I don’t exhale until he lets out a sleepy sigh and relaxes when the blankets cover him.

Backing out of the room, I barely make it halfway when I hear “Miles?” coming from Lucie. I can hear the panic in her tone, and while I didn’t mean to scare her, I’m not surprised to hear the concern in her voice after realizing Miles wasn’t there.

“Miles?” she yells again, this time it’s louder. Fuck, I do not want her waking him up.

Swinging the room door open, Lucie practically barrels into me. She lets out a small squeal in surprise as her body hits mine. On instinct, one arm wraps around her waist and carries her out of the room while shutting the door quietly with the other.

“Easy, Luce, it’s just me.”

Holding her close feels too damn good. I can’t quite bring myself to let go either. Her chest is pressed so close against mine, I can practically feel her heart racing…or maybe that’s mine.

Fuck.

I set her down, then put as much distance between us as I can manage.

“Dex,” Lucie sighs, and her shoulders drop. I can practically see the relief flood her, but it’s quickly replaced with anger as she hits my arm. “You scared the crap out of me! Why didn’t you wake me up? I was terrified something happened to him.”

I can’t help the chuckle that escapes me when I see the anger on her face. Here I am wanting to pull her back to me, and she looks like she wants to kill me. Well, kill me in her own way—her sunny demeanor very much still shines through.

“I’m serious, Dex. You took ten years off my life!” She groans as she looks up at the ceiling.

“Will you gain some of those years back when I tell you that he’s fast asleep in bed?”

Lucie crosses her arms with a huff. “Probably not.”

“Shame,” I say, and the smirk comes involuntarily. I try to erase the emotion from my face as quickly as possible, but she sees it, I know she does.

Lucie studies me for a moment. I can tell she’s battling her anger, simmering down her panic attack, while simultaneously trying to understand me.

It’s the same way she was looking at me on the plane ride here. It never feels like the same way I look at her, more as though I’m a puzzle she’s started but can’t find the box to know what it’s even supposed to look like. Maybe someone should tell her that I have some pieces missing, too.

Hell, what am I even doing here? Why did I even think I could make this work with hiring her?

“Are you hungry?” Lucie asks.

“ Am I hungry ?”

“Yes, Dex, hungry. You know, food…to eat…Have you eaten any actual food since breakfast?”

As my brain processes her words, it becomes painfully obvious that I am now starving.

My stomach is seconds away from growling.

Shit, I’ve had so much on my mind—the past twenty minutes especially—but then Lucie walks up with her let me take care of you personality, forcing me to actually think about myself.

This is part of the damn problem. I need her to keep all of her focus on Miles. That’s how I can make this work.

“Lucie, you know you’re not also my nanny, right? I can take care of myself.”

That definitely came off a tad dickish, but isn’t anger one of the stages of acceptance or something? I don’t know what to do here. Maybe she’ll yell at me again. Tell me to fuck off or whatever curse replacement she wants to use.

With my ex, that tone would have started an argument instantly, but not with Lucie. Lucie’s shoulders roll back before relaxing. She looks me dead in my eyes.

“Okay, Dex, you’re right, I’m not your nanny.

I know it’s been a long day for you, and I get this whole thing is an adjustment.

Maybe we are both at fault for not setting clear expectations on this job, so allow me to clear things up for you.

I’ll even explain it with a baseball metaphor.

Consider me your teammate—I’ll play my position without taking over your job, but it’s a team game for a reason.

So, I’m sorry if this feels like I’m overstepping, but I’m getting this gut feeling you haven’t had a teammate in a long time. ”

My mouth feels dry all of sudden, so I force a swallow. Shit, shit, shit.

She’s right, I know I haven’t. The thing is, I’m technically retired from the “team” now, and frankly, I don’t know if I deserve to join another one.

When I don’t respond, Lucie sighs. “You said you didn’t need a nanny with one foot out the door—pot, meet kettle. If this isn’t going to work, tell me now.”

Part of me wants to tell her right here and now that it’s not. I’m one foot in, needing her to help me with Miles and one foot still in that damn coffee shop wanting to ask her out.

I don’t know how to make this work. Miles is clearly happy with her being here, and all because I have a fucking crush on his nanny he’s going to lose her too?

Fuck. My son deserves better than what I’ve given him this past year.

I think about what I told her brother about slowing down his pitches. Maybe fighting this is making it worse. Me being a dick and aloof clearly isn’t working and damn it, it’s selfish for me to fire her.

I can’t make it work with Miles’s mom, not in the way it was before, but I owe it to Miles to try and make this work.

I swallow all of my fucking pride. “I could eat.”

Lucie appeared calm while giving me that fucking speech, but with my response I can visibly see her whole body relax. “Okay, come on, we ordered pizza.”

“Did Miles try to only eat the breadsticks?”

One corner of Lucie’s mouth turns up. “Didn’t order any. I got him to eat two whole slices of pepperoni, actually.”

Of course she did. See, this is good for Miles.

“Did you use the Callie card again?”

“Nope.” Lucie pops the p with a full smile this time. “They had a make-your-own-pizza option, so I let him ‘make’ the pizzas. Mine has a lot of veggies on it, so I didn’t manage to get him on that one, but?—”

“Hey, I’ll take it.”

I hold back my smile until Lucie turns toward the kitchen. I’ve hardly gotten Miles to eat without a full-on fight or serious dessert bribery for months, and Lucie’s done it twice in one day.

Lucie pulls two boxes out of the fridge and sets them on the counter. “I also told Miles that since he made the pizza, he had to give them names. So we have Miles’s Extreme Pepperoni and Lucie’s Veggie Secret. Which one do you want?”

I slide onto the barstool across from her. “Well, I have to try one of Miles’s, but is that bacon on the veggie?”

Lucie snorts. “Yeah, that’s the secret part. Miles thought it was hilarious.”

“Of course he did. I’ll take a slice of each then.”

“Excellent choice.” Lucie takes two slices and plops them on my plate.

When she picks it up to take it to the microwave, I stop her. “Oh no, make your food first.”

“Dex, you haven’t had real food all day. I can heat mine up after.”

“First, it’s pizza, I can heat up my own food. Second, it doesn’t matter if I haven’t eaten all week. I’m pretty sure my mom would appear out of thin air to smack me over the head if I didn’t let the woman in my house get her food first.”

Rounding the island, I take my plate from her. I watch to make sure my hand doesn’t touch hers as I do—I may be letting Lucie in a little bit for the sake of Miles, but let’s not push it.

Pulling back, she tucks her blonde hair behind her ears and quickly turns back to the pizza. “Well then, I guess I’ll make my plate.”