Page 28 of Coach Me (Boston Blues #2)

Lucie

“I’m dying, Jensen,” I pant out while bending over with my hands on my knees. We’ve run maybe a mile, and I’m regretting my life choices.

“That’s funny, you said the same thing about Dex before we got started.”

“Because it’s true. He’s killing me—you’re killing me. All this run has done is made my legs feel like Jell-O…my lungs feel like they are going to collapse….and I’m still thinking about Dex. At this point, I don’t even think a vibrator will help.”

After our emotional confessions, we continued playing our betting question game, but the topics got much lighter…like how Dex got drafted, how I got my turtles, and why I don’t cuss. But the thing was, Dex never let go of my hand, and I didn’t pull it away.

We sat there talking, holding hands, and watching baseball warm-ups. I don’t think I ever felt more content in my life. I can’t say when it changed between us, but I never wanted that moment to end .

Jensen’s border collie, Dottie, comes up and licks the side of my face. “She’s telling you to pull yourself together because we’re only halfway through our normal route. You told me to help you get Dex off your mind.”

Standing up straight, a cool breeze comes off the waterfront. I huff. Goodness, I think my ears are ringing.

“I would rather go back to Dex’s apartment right now and tell him I need him to help me do my Lucie After Dark list than finish this run.”

Jensen hums; she doesn’t even look like she’s broken a sweat yet. “Oh, please let me call your bluff.”

Part of me wishes she could. “You know you can’t.”

Just as much as I know I can't force Dex’s hand. I didn’t give Jensen all of the details about our conversation yesterday, but I gave her the CliffNotes because I think I’m falling for my boss when it’s just as unfair for me as it is to him.

Hearing him say all of those things yesterday meant so much to me.

It was as if I'd managed to get a big enough hole in his thick wall that I could step all the way through, but I’m not entirely sure Dex wants me to stay there.

Or well, I think he might, but doesn’t know if he has the capability to.

He’s made his interest in me clear, I can see it now. But it’s not just about me and him—Miles plays a huge role. Dex blames himself for the things that have changed in his son’s life, and now I’m a part of that. Whatever this is between us, it directly affects Miles, no matter how we look at it.

I don’t know what angle Dex is looking at it from, but I selfishly want it to be the one that eventually wants to give us a try.

“Luce, you both can’t just live together and not ever address this. I get self-sacrificing to a degree, but you're not even trying.”

I huff another deep breath, finally feeling like my heart rate is coming down. “That’s not true. Dex needs me as Miles’s nanny and teacher. Me being more has to come from him when he’s ready.”

Even if I’m afraid he never will be, I know I can’t tell him I think he deserves his happiness too when I know that he already carries so much guilt.

“If that’s what you want. Either way, you’re not getting out of the rest of this run.”

“Just so we’re clear, venturing out with running is a no. Lucie Anderson is not a running girlie.”

Dottie lets out a small bark, and Jensen laughs. “She just called you a pussy.”

“She did? Or you did?”

“Both. Hers is for stalling her run, and mine is for not making a move on Dex.”

“I want to! But I can’t. I can’t be the one that makes the first move in good conscience, and I definitely can’t finish this run.”

“Yes, you can—” Jensen stops and her spine snaps straight up. “You have got to be kidding me.”

I follow her gaze and find Beck slowing down his run and walking up to us.

“Well, if this isn’t the best way to start my day, then I don’t know what is.” Beck’s cocky smirk flashes to Jensen. “Hey, Jenni-cakes, I missed our runs while I was gone.”

I tilt my head to Jensen. Suddenly, I’m feeling much better. “Your runs?”

Jensen clenches her jaw as she crosses her arms over her chest. “He means how I run away from him because he’s a stalker.”

Beck laughs, completely unfazed, and kneels down to pet Dottie. “I’m not a stalker, right, Dottie? You like when I run with you guys?”

Dottie rolls over, practically putty as Beck pets her. My smile grows bigger, and Jensen just seems more pissed.

“She likes that it makes us run faster—my goal is to lose you as quickly as possible.”

Beck stands back up, and Dottie practically whimpers at his feet. “You know, I like that I drive you, J. You should always be with someone who makes you want to keep improving.”

My whole day has officially turned around.

“Wait, Beck, do you have a thigh tattoo?” I don’t know how I’ve never noticed it before, but I can see tips of ink at the end of his shorts, similar to how Dex’s do with his shirts.

Ah, yeah, that’s why I haven’t noticed—Dex.

“Oh yeah, I just got this started over the offseason.” Beck pulls the hem of his athletic shorts up to show us more of the lightning tattooed on his thigh.

He looks up to Jensen with the same smirk.

“I’ll be waiting to get the rest of my idea until this new artist starts. I think I’ll like her style more.”

I swear Jensen’s jaw clenches even harder. How she hasn’t cracked a tooth is impressive. “In your dreams, Beckham.”

“Oh, it does happen in my dreams—a lot. Don’t worry, your personality doesn’t change there either.”

Jensen’s nostrils flare as she takes a deep breath. “Well, we’re actually about to get back to our run, so?—”

This might be a bit of a bad friend move—or good friend, considering I think Jensen is actually sweating now. A mile into this run and she was glowing. Two minutes of this conversation and her chest and the tips of her ears are red .

“Actually, I think I might be holding you back. Maybe you should finish with Beck.”

Jensen looks at me like she wants to absolutely murder me. “No, we have plans after this. Remember?”

“We can do that another day.” I can sacrifice my store trip for this.

“We’re a mile away from your car, Luce,” Jensen huffs. “What are you going to do, walk back with no one with you?”

“Yep,” I state.

Do I need to be pushed with Dex? Maybe, but it seems like I’m not the only one in need of a shove.

Beck eyes me for a minute, I know he’s thinking through what I’ve suggested. I’ve noticed this big brother personality with Beck over the past two weeks. It comes out a lot with Callie, but I’ve noticed it’s extended to me a little bit more.

“I’ll be just fine.” I pull my phone from the pocket in my leggings. “I’ll text you when I get back.”

Beck turns to Jensen. “What do you say, Jennie-cakes? Up for a little driving?”

As if Dottie can understand, she barks.

“Damn traitors,” Jensen grumbles.

“Good luck, Jen, I’ll text you,” I say over my shoulder, already turning to start my walk back.

“Yes, you will!” Jensen’s tone gives me enough indication that she will most definitely be getting me back for this, but it’s so worth it.

Walking along the waterfront, another breeze hits me. I’m definitely not a running girl, but I think I’d be down for some walks. This could be a good form of venturing out.

Talking to Dex about the idea of what these guidelines are felt different from when I spoke to Jensen about it. Yes, I feel like I’m this extra in my own story, but I can’t really pinpoint why I feel that way.

The list, ideas, or whatever I’m doing will help with that, I hope. Maybe that’s why it’s better for me to leave the ball in Dex’s court. While he may have this new attraction to me, once I figure my own self out, he might change his mind.

Okay, I don’t like that mindset. Maybe walking is a no-go too. It’s too quiet—too many opportunities for my brain to wander. I could look into some low-impact stuff later today. A class might be more my style.

My phone dings in my pocket. I’m hoping it’s Reagan finally texting me back. Her ignoring my text about the wilting plant has me feeling a little more unnerved. Will said he checked in with her Sunday when we got back, and said she seemed busy—but that’s her normal.

But when I look at my phone, my stomach does a small flip.

Dex

Want to tell me why Beck just messaged me that you're walking a mile back to your car all by yourself?

Of course Beck messaged him.

Turns out running isn’t my thing. Mark that down about things we now know about Lucie.

Let me pretend to be shocked for a second.

Dex! I could have liked it.

No, you liked the idea of doing something with Jensen that she wanted to do.

I stop walking as I read his message. Dang, how did he see that?

I know that wasn’t my intention. And granted, he doesn’t know about the plans to get a sex toy after, but still.

I wanted to get out and try new things. I guess running wouldn’t have been my initial first choice in a workout, per se.

Then again, I hadn’t ever tried running before.

I liked that it was with Jensen, but that was still for me. What if I did like it?

I never said it wasn’t for you in some way. I said I’m not surprised you didn’t like it.

And what would I like, Coach?

I watch as the bubbles dance, waiting for Dex’s reply. When they disappear, I think I might have actually stumped him, but then a link comes through for a yoga studio.

Clicking on the link pulls up the website for Sunbeam Yoga.

My mouth goes dry as I scroll through the website.

It’s perfect—exactly what I would have picked out for myself if I actually looked for it.

There are classes every day, but every Sunday has a different class with a fun activity.

Wine and yoga. Goats with yoga. Parents and kid sessions. Couples classes.

I got you a membership already. There’s a class in half an hour. Text me when you get to your car safely, then go try it out.

Dex, this is perfect, but you didn’t have to do this.

I like your light, Luce.