Page 30 of Coach Me (Boston Blues #2)

Dex

“Miles, slow down. You have to chew your food, not inhale it.” Lucie laughs from where she’s sitting on the barstool next to Miles.

They’ve had breakfast together here for the past three days, and each morning the dam is closer to breaking. I like Lucie, there’s no denying it to myself—or even to her. And I think she might feel this attraction to me too.

I know it doesn’t mean we should date. Every morning as I watch them together over breakfast, I tell myself, “I can’t break today for my son.” I can’t put Miles through another loss, and losing Lucie would devastate him. Hell, the thought even devastates me.

Although it might be unfair to both of us, I can’t seem to stop seeking her out. I don’t want to stop. I like watching her with Miles. I like talking to her and finding out all of her hidden talents. Hell, I feel like I’m in fucking high school again. I like her a lot.

I’m not entirely sure how this weekend alone with her is going to go .

“All done.” Miles slides his empty bowl of cereal forward.

I especially like how, since Lucie started, Miles is eating normally again.

I grab his bowl to take it to the sink. “Okay, Miles, why don’t you go grab some of the stuff you want to take to your mom’s.”

Miles’s eyebrows raise, and this mischievous smile appears on his face. “Can I bring Pip and Pop?”

Lucie gives me a thin-lipped smile. Miles has asked me every single day to take these damn turtles somewhere.

“Do you like having the turtles?”

“Yes.” Miles’s smile hasn’t completely depleted yet.

“Then they stay here.”

Miles’s shoulders sink. “But I’ll be gone for two whole sleeps, and then we get on a plane again. They’re going to miss me like I miss them.”

Lucie looks at me again with a sweet pout—that was cute, I get it, but I’m not strong enough to tell them both no if they push me on this.

“No,” I point at her, “not you too.”

Lucie’s jaw drops with a scoff. “I didn’t say anything.”

“You’re both pouting over turtles staying in the place that keeps them alive. Mind you, I didn't want them to begin with.”

“What!?” Miles’s voice goes up at least five octaves.

Lucie laughs and ruffles Miles’s head. “Don’t listen to him, he was so excited about the idea of Pip and Pop. But he is right, they do need to stay where they are. While I totally understand them missing you, they are happiest here.”

“Okay, I guess so,” Miles grumbles as he hops off the barstool. “Lucie, can I take one of the new coloring books you got me?”

“Go for it. They’re in the bags in our soon-to-be classroom. I’ll be there in just a minute to help.”

Miles shoots off like a rocket. “I can find it first.”

I shake my head with a sigh. “You know he’s going to take those damn things somewhere one day.”

Lucie rests her chin on her hand with a sweet smile. “I know. I’m just waiting to find them in his backpack mid-flight.”

“Remind me to check on them Sunday before we leave,” I say, finally dropping Miles’s bowl in the sink. “So what’re your plans for this weekend?”

I want her to say that nothing changes and she’ll still be the brightness in my day. I need her to say that she’s going to go visit her brother or sister, mom, anyone that keeps me from breaking.

“No plans in particular.” Lucie slides off her stool and meets me at the sink with her breakfast. “I think I’ll go to one of the yoga classes today. Maybe go around to some stores, then come to the game later.”

“You still want to come to the game even though you don’t have to be there? I mean, your favorite player isn’t even on the team anymore.”

Lucie bites back a smirk. “I regret telling Miles that, ya know?”

Hmph , I sure as hell don’t.

Taking some steps back from her, I lean against the island. “Don’t worry, I’m just going to hold it over your head for the foreseeable future.”

Our future.

Lucie hums with a smile. “Well, we obviously don’t have to talk about this right now, but just floating the idea by you. What if you did want to be a player again?”

Lucie’s eyes dart to mine cautiously. I don’t know how to respond to her honestly. The idea has crossed my mind, but I only let it cross it—I don’t think about it more than that because it’s the decision I made, even if I wish I could play again.

“I’ve just been thinking we seem to have a pretty good routine here. Like Miles said, you were my favorite, and I know you retired for him, but it seemed like a choice you maybe regret…”

And this is coming from the girl who can’t even see what makes her so damn special. How she doesn’t see that blows my fucking mind.

“Luce, I appreciate the offer, but I don’t know if that’s?—”

“Lucie!” Miles yells from down the hall.

Lucie chuckles, then steps toward me.

I swear we’re just two magnets constantly feeling this pull, because I was just about to meet her in the middle.

“Just think about it…” Lucie whispers. “For me?”

I swallow hard and nod, because I’m pretty sure I’m unable to give a verbal response.

Is she right? Could I play again? I would really like to do that, but, hell, it almost feels as uncertain as acting on my feelings with Lucie.

I dwell on each variable—each possible outcome of playing again as we get ready to go. When Miles launches himself into Lucie’s arms with a goodbye hug, I can only think of the variables and outcomes that involve me getting to have more of Lucie.

Fuck, I know hiring Lucie was supposed to lighten the weight on my shoulders—not fucking add new ones.

Stay coaching—play again? Tell Lucie how I fucking feel and maybe end up with the girl I was supposed to have all along, or fuck everything up for the second time and hurt my son, yet again, in the process.

My mood has completely tanked. God, I just want to get one thing right.

On our way, Miles kicks his feet happily on the back of my seat. “Hey, bud, think we can maybe stop kicking my seat?”

“Sorry,” Miles snorts. “Hey, Daddy, do you think you can read this paper? I think Lucie drew it, and it’s really pretty.”

I look in the rearview mirror, angling it so I can see Miles. He’s flipping around what looks like an invitation. “I’m kind of driving, so not really, but are you sure that’s one of the things for you? Where did you get that?”

“I got it from Lucie’s bag. She said there was coloring stuff in the bags, and I found this in one of them. I think Lucie drew it, and I’m supposed to color it in.”

I’m not sure about that. It’s hard to tell while driving, but from quick glances, it seems more likely that Miles grabbed something he wasn’t supposed to.

“Can I see it?” I reach my hand back just as we come to a red light.

Miles slaps it in my palm. “Here you go.”

I glance ahead to make sure the light is still red, then look at the front of the paper. It’s framed with gold and yellow drawings, and Lucie’s name is written all fancy up top. Then in the middle are the guidelines she told me about that she has been keeping to.

Yeah, this definitely isn’t something Miles is supposed to have. I look back at the light again to make sure it’s still red, then flip it over—holy fuck.

A car behind me honks loudly. “Fuck.” I drop the paper on my dash and start moving again. Holy shit. Lucie didn’t mention anything about those guidelines.

“Daddy?” Miles’s voice cracks in the back. “Is everything okay? You said a bad word.”

I did, didn’t I? It’s like my brain short-circuited, and the honking pulled me out of it. “Everything’s fine. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. The honk was just to tell me it’s time to move again.”

“Okay, can I have the paper back now?”

Absolutely not.

“I think this paper is for Lucie, Miles. This wasn’t actually meant for you.”

I don’t think it was meant to be seen by anyone—I don’t know how I can unsee it. Get a toy. Find a kink. Sexually inspiring outings. It’s seared in my brain.

Okay, deep breath. You’re about to take your son to your ex-wife, and showing up with a hard-on is not what’s about to happen.

Christ, this day has sent me on loop after fucking loop. Is she doing these things with other people? She said they were just for her, but the thought of her doing any of these with anyone but me fills me with this out-of-body rage.

No one deserves to do these things with her unless they see what I see. Granted, I’m not entirely sure I deserve to do them with her considering I’ve done nothing but fight this attraction to her.

How did running into a girl at a coffee shop get so damn complicated?

Standing outside Kate’s apartment, Miles knocks wildly .

“Mommy!” Miles jumps to Kate the second she opens the door.

“Hey, sweetie, I’m happy you’re here.”

“Me too! Daddy said I couldn’t bring Pip and Pop.” Miles’s face drops for a minute but then bounces back. “But Lucie packed all my swim stuff.”

“Did she now?” Kate shoots me a small look I’m not really in the mood to entertain. “We’ll see if we have time for that.”

Don’t say anything. Don’t say anything.

I kneel down to meet Miles’s height. “I’ll see you in two sleeps, okay? You can call me anytime too.”

“Okay, Daddy. Love you!” Miles gives me a quick hug but the excitement of being at a new place has taken over. Once his hands let me go, he’s bolting through the door.

“Love you too,” I say, but can’t be sure if he heard me. “Call me if he needs anything, Kate.”

“Call you or your nanny?”

“I’m not entertaining that question right now. Have a good weekend with him. I’ll pick him up whenever you’re ready on Sunday.”

“Alright. Oh, and I have a work trip to New York next weekend. Same time you’ll be playing the Crimsons. I thought it would be good if we all got to spend some time together.”

Shit. I know this isn’t about me. The mention of Lucie right off the bat by Miles has gone straight to her head.

“You know we’re going to be pretty busy at the games. I’m not saying you can’t come to a game, but Lucie’s going to be in charge of Miles on those days.”

“Dex, is that really necessary?”