Page 8 of Clashing
My chest ached. I knew what that felt like.
I also pushed everyone away, which was the worst thing I could’ve done.
I sighed and glanced around her room. Bobby pins lay on her dresser.
God help me. Hopefully it was the right move.
I collected two bobby pins and picked the lock.
The girl that’d asked me to fuck her harder now sat on the linoleum floor with a tear-stained face.
I forced myself to approach slowly instead of gathering her in my arms like my instincts demanded.
Uncertainty danced in her eyes. “What are you doing?”
“Nothing, sugar. I promise.” I held my hands up and inched toward her. “I’m not going to hurt you. You’re calling the shots, all right?” I draped my shirt and her panties over my shoulder, then offered my hands.
She hesitated but, after wiping her eyes, took my hands. I pulled her up and tugged my shirt over her before crouching and holding her panties open. She stepped into them, and I eased them up, avoiding touching anything but her legs and hips. I stood and opened my arms.
“What are you doing?” she asked, body still trembling.
“Just trying to comfort you, baby.” I beckoned her. “Come here.”
Her eyes glistened, but she obeyed. Cheeks wet, she rested her head on my chest and cried. I wasn’t great with crying, but I couldn’t do nothing. She was hurting in a way I at least partially understood. My trauma wasn’t the same, but it was still trauma.
Crying could get exhausting, so I carried her to the bed while she clung to me. I sat on the mattress, and she wrapped her limbs around me. Her crying stopped, but the trembling didn’t.
“I’m sorry,” she muttered into my neck. “I’m sorry I freaked.”
“Don’t be sorry, baby.” I rubbed her back. “A trigger’s a trigger. I’m sorry I didn’t know about it. I would’ve avoided it.”
“It’s not a trig—”
“I’m not an idiot. Was it your ex?”
She went rigid. I wasn’t sure she’d admit it to me, but after tense silence, she nodded into my chest. My arms tightened around her, and I rested my head on hers.
God help me if I ever came across that motherfucker.
The anger coursing through my blood could fuel me to beat him until his heart stopped.
Eh, that wouldn’t be so bad. I had plenty of people willing to help me hide a body and be an “alibi.” Maybe I did want him to come around.
“I’m sorry, Scarlett. I’m really sorry.” I cradled her head. “I won’t bring it up again.”
“Don’t tell Dan,” she whispered. “Please, don’t tell him.”
“I won’t. Don’t worry. This stays between me and you. Unless you want to do something about it.”
“There’s nothing to do. It’s my word against his.”
I hated how true that usually was. By her response, I assumed she didn’t get a kit or anything like that to prove he’d been there. And even then, it was still her word against his on whether it was consensual. I wanted to tell her to fight anyway, and I’d help her, but it wasn’t my decision.
“What do you need? What can I do?”
“Nothing. I’m just so embarrassed,” she said, shaking her head but keeping it on my chest.
“Don’t be. Like I said, between me and you.
And you don’t need to be embarrassed about anything in front of me.
God knows I’ve seen my fair share of shit and done stupid shit.
Don’t think on it. I’m not judging you, but hey, look at me.
” I brought my hand to her chin and eased it up until her face became visible.
“I’m not that asshole, all right? I won’t hurt you.
I’m not going to do anything unless you want it.
You don’t have to be scared with me, okay? ”
Her eyes darted away, but she gave a small nod before hiding in the crook of my neck. I held her close until her shaking finally stopped.
“Ryker?” She spoke so quietly I barely heard her.
“What is it?”
“Would you—would you stay with me?”
Shit. That was against the rules. Rules I’d followed for years to make sure no girl I fucked got too attached. This was different. I couldn’t leave her like this in good conscience. Son of a bitch.
“Sure, baby.” I scooted us more onto the bed, then reclined, adjusting so she lay on top of me.
She shifted slightly, moving one leg off and leaving the other draped over my hips. Her head stayed on my chest, her hand settling over my heart. I wrapped my arms around her, and she relaxed into me.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
“Anytime, sugar.” The words left my mouth, and I couldn’t believe I’d said them.
This couldn’t be an anytime offer. She couldn’t depend on me like this.
She needed a therapist and something else, but it wasn’t me.
I could never be what she needed. I didn’t fuck girls more than a couple times.
I didn’t date. I definitely didn’t cuddle.
Yet, Scarlett’s head on my chest triggered a powerful surge of protectiveness.
Her hand over my heart caused an unusual flutter.
Her ponytail spread out behind her, over my shoulders and neck.
Her body, soft against mine, fit so well like a puzzle piece.
Anytime I got roped into cuddling before I made the rules, it was always uncomfortable, and I made it clear I’d sneak out once they fell asleep.
But with Scarlett, I was comfortable, and as I lay there, listening to her breathing, I found myself drifting into unconsciousness.