Page 36 of Clashing

Chapter twenty-seven

My Kryptonite

Ryker

D ays blurred together, each as inconsequential as the last. I crept out of the unfamiliar bed, careful not to wake the thin blonde who drank with me all night, but nothing else.

Over the last week, I’d tried to get Scarlett out of my head to no avail.

I couldn’t get it up for anyone. Tried girls who looked like her, girls who were her opposite. It didn’t matter.

Meanwhile, Scarlett spent more time with Collin. Danny informed me they were still dating though not officially together. Part of me wondered why. Part of me wondered if she held back because her feelings for me lingered.

Fuck. That line of thinking was too dangerous to explore. If she wanted me, she’d say it. She spoke her mind. I was holding onto something I’d already lost.

You’re going to feel like shit the day she walks into this bar with another guy when that guy could’ve been you.

Francis’s words haunted me almost as often as memories of the girl who got away.

One who wouldn’t have gotten away if I’d manned up.

Instead, I slumped into this rut of trying to move on without really living. Life was dull without her spark in it.

As if I didn’t have enough to worry about, Fourth of July—aka, the worst holiday in the world—approached. New Year’s was the second worst. I hated resolutions. Mostly, I hated fireworks. My dogs hated fireworks. If it were up to me, the damn things would be outlawed.

Every year, Danny had a barbecue with strictly no pyrotechnics.

Too many of his close friends couldn’t handle them.

Instead, we drank, ate, and told war stories.

We weren’t close to any fireworks, but they’d go off in the distance and put me on edge.

I only went to the barbecue one year, and even though it wasn’t as hellish as I’d feared, I wouldn’t go this year.

Not with Scarlett and Collin there together.

Fuck, I hope I don’t run into them.

Danny called and asked me to look at the grill in the bar. His father had given me a key years ago and Danny didn’t see any reason I shouldn’t keep it. This way, I could get in for repairs if no one was there.

I unlocked the door and headed to where the old-ass grill sat because Dan was too stubborn to replace it. After looking it over, I discovered a heating sensor problem. I could fix it, but I needed the right part. I was washing my hands when footsteps jerked my focus backwards.

Collin. Collin in boxers, no shirt, blinking sleepily.

Fuck. He spent the night with her. I didn’t want to see that.

“Oh, hey.” He ruffled his stupid hair. “I, uh . . . Scarlett said it was too early for anyone to be down here.”

I turned off the faucet and dried my hands. “Usually is.”

“Right.” He rocked back on his heels. “Anyway, Scarlett said to steal eggs from the fridge.”

“She does practically own half the place.”

Everything Danny had, he was leaving to that girl. He’d already added her to the business’s bank account. She refused at first but he told her it was so she could help with bookkeeping. That was bullshit. He wanted her name on it in case something happened to him.

Collin offered an awkward smile before digging into the fridge. I picked up my toolbox and got the fuck out of there. The situation couldn’t be more strained and if I didn’t escape, I’d be sorely tempted to punch him for no good reason except he had what I wanted.

The universe had it out for me, though. As I walked out, Scarlett ambled downstairs. Wearing nothing but his shirt. She froze when she saw me, gaping.

“What are you doing here?” she squeaked, wrapping her arms around herself.

I raised my toolbox. “Fixing the grill.”

“Oh.” She averted her eyes. “Sorry. I didn’t know you were here.”

“Clearly.”

She blushed and tugged on the end of the shirt, which barely covered her thighs. Collin’s entrance into the room amplified the tension.

“Got the eggs, babe,” he said, waving the carton.

“Thanks.” Scarlett’s blush darkened. “Uh . . . thanks for fixing the grill, Ryker.” She snagged Collin’s hand and pulled him upstairs.

I clenched my jaw and turned for the door but called over my shoulder, “I’ll be back in an hour. Be dressed if you’re down here.”

I intended to go get the part and fix it right away. Except seeing them together boiled my blood. Look at what you could’ve had, you dumb fuck. Knowing my mood was a recipe for disaster, I went home and beat the shit out of my punching bag.

Babe. It sounded so stupid coming out of his mouth.

She hated pet names. She gave me shit about it so why didn’t he get shit about it?

I punched the bag harder. I didn’t stop until I could barely breathe.

Until my knuckles hurt. Until my muscles screamed.

Until at least some of the razor-sharp edge of seeing her with someone else faded.

I crouched, trying to catch my breath and erase the image of them from my mind. The dogs ran over, licking and nosing me.

“Go away.” I pushed them off. “I’m not in the mood.”

Grayson whined, and I sighed.

“You’re such a fucking baby.” I scratched behind his ears until a smile pulled on his goofy face. “Pit bulls are supposed to be scary. Don’t you know that?”

He dropped his head and peered at me sadly. Yeah, Grayson being scary, that was a thing. I petted and kissed him until the dejected look disappeared. He didn’t deserve me snapping. I needed to get my fucking head on straight.

I showered again before leaving. Please let him be gone.

Please let them both be gone. Please no more half-naked run-ins.

Once I returned, I rushed to the back. Scarlett’s room was directly above the kitchen.

If I heard anything, I’d either vomit or commit murder and one was unappealing while the other would be a headache to clean up.

Thankfully, silence awaited me. At first. When I’d almost finished swapping the heat sensor, a creak made me tense. Upstairs, a door opened. Footsteps, and a quiet mumble of an exchange followed. Seconds later, the kitchen door swung open, and Scarlett walked in. Fully dressed, thank God.

“He left. I’m sorry.” She averted her gaze. “I didn’t know you were here. If I did, I would’ve been more careful.”

“It’s fine.” I wiped my hands on a rag as I stood. “Not like I thought you’d never fuck him if you continued dating.”

“Yeah, but—” She pressed her lips together. “I guess you’re right. Did you fix it?”

I scoffed as I turned on the grill to check. “What do you take me for?”

She lifted a shoulder, a teasing glint in her eyes. “An overconfident ass, mostly.”

“I’m not overconfident, Scar. I’m confident in everything I have reason to be confident in.” Flicking off the grill, I faced her, arms crossed. “So, babe , huh? Really?”

She wrinkled her nose. “Shut up.”

“You don’t actually like that, do you?”

“It’s whatever.” She picked at her cuticles. “He started saying it last night.”

I worked my jaw and packed my tools. “It’s a stupid pet name.”

She planted her hands on her hips, a move that turned me on every time because it meant her sassy attitude was coming out to play. “How’s it worse than sugar or baby?”

“You want me to remind you why I called you sugar?”

Red stained her cheeks and made the corner of my mouth quirk up.

My hold on her wasn’t gone. I should probably stop flirting.

But I didn’t want to. I wanted her. I really fucking wanted her, and I was selfish enough I didn’t care if it meant stealing her from someone else. She didn’t belong with anyone else.

“Baby was your doing.” I closed my toolbox and hefted it onto the counter. “You said it first.”

“I was making a point.”

“That worked out real well, didn’t it, sugar?”

“Oh my God.” She covered her darkening blush with her hands. “You’re the worst. Those are as bad as babe.”

“If you say so. I mean, it’s the name of a pig. If you don’t mind being called a pig, it’s not so bad. Oh, and your mom calls you babe. If you wanna think of him like that, I guess it works.”

She dropped her arms to her sides, eyes narrowed into slits. “Really?”

I winked. “And now that’s all you’ll be able to think of whenever he says it.”

“Asshole.” She tapped her foot. “Why aren’t you coming to the barbecue on Thursday?”

Talk about killing the fun. Gritting my teeth, I snatched my toolbox and brushed past her. “I don’t socialize.”

“It’s basically the same people you come with to the bar every night.” She followed me. “How is a barbecue different?”

“I don’t like Fourth of July.”

“Why not?”

“Jesus, Scarlett. Drop it. I just don’t like it.”

“Is it because of Collin?”

That was definitely part of it but not the whole thing. I didn’t need witnesses to my inevitable freak-out once the fireworks started.

“If it is, you should know Collin won’t be there,” she said. “He had plans to go to the coast before we started dating and I wanted to stay with Dan.”

That didn’t help a lot. Without him there, I’d have an even harder time not flirting with her. Like right now.

“The world doesn’t revolve around you, Scarlett. I don’t want to go. That’s it.” I spun to face her, and she almost knocked into me. “But while we’re being nosy, why is it still dating?”

Her lips pulled down. “What?”

“You guys have been dating for a while.” I stepped closer. “Why isn’t he your boyfriend?”

She stepped back and averted her eyes. “He hasn’t asked.”

“Why haven’t you?” Another step closer, and her floral shampoo invaded my senses. “Why haven’t you asked him to be your boyfriend? I thought you wanted a relationship.”

Each step I took, she took one back until she bumped into the wall.

She inhaled sharply when I braced my palms on either side of her head.

Fuck, I wanted her. We had something. Something that couldn’t be broken.

The desperate idiot inside me took the wheel because I had an effect on her and couldn’t let it go.

It’s not all gone.

“It hasn’t been that long.” Her blush spread down to her rapidly falling and rising chest. “What are you doing?”

“Curious.” I dipped my head, and her warm breath fanned over my lips, the heat between us crackling hotter by the second. “If it’s not exclusive, doesn’t that mean you’re allowed to be with other people?”

“Ryker.” She pushed me back. “I’m not that girl.”

“I didn’t mean me,” I lied. “How would you feel if he were out with another girl? Have you made those rules with him? For all you know, he’s out with someone else right now.”

“Stop trying to sabotage this.” She swatted my arm. “That’s not what you meant.”

“It is. Although, I’m wondering why you assumed I meant me. You want me, sugar?” I cocked my head. “Seems like you do.” I rested my hand over her chest, where her heart thrummed against my palm. “Look how hard you’re breathing. Am I making you nervous, Scarlett?”

“God, Ryker.” She shoved me back. “I don’t appreciate you doing this. Just because Nat doesn’t mind being unfaithful, doesn’t mean I’m okay with it.”

I groaned and leaned one shoulder against the wall. “You’re not going to let that go, are you?”

“It’s not you.” She curled her arms around herself. “I don’t see you as that guy.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re a good guy and sleeping with someone who’s taken is sleazy.”

“I’m not a good guy, Scarlett. Far from it.”

“Bullshit.” She pursed her lips. “I know you. You’re an asshole but you’re also a good guy. So, why are you sleeping with a married woman?”

It’s always going to come back to this. She couldn’t get past it, and I didn’t know what to say.

“You don’t know me, Scar.” I forced myself to grab my toolbox and move toward the exit. “Don’t pretend you do. Us fucking for a couple months,” sixty-seven days , “doesn’t mean you know shit.”

“Why are you being so defensive? I’m trying to understand.”

“No, you’re not. You’re not trying to understand. Just like that night. You jump to conclusions. Don’t tell me you think I’m a good guy when you got pissed at me before you gave me a chance to explain.”

“Here’s your chance.” She stopped in front of me, blocking my path. “Tell me the truth. Tell me what happened.”

“It doesn’t fucking matter anymore, does it?” My laugh held no humor. She had someone better and the fact she was pushing me when I couldn’t have her pissed me off. “You have pretty boy Collin now, who brings you flowers and does everything a perfect boyfriend should, right?”

“Stop being such an asshole,” she hissed. “Why do you always do this? Why can’t you talk to me?”

“You’re not mine to talk to, Scarlett,” I growled, clenching my fists.

“Whose fault is that? You didn’t want me!”

“Yes, I did!” I snapped. “You don’t know what happened that night.

You never let me tell you. You want to know why I left with Nat?

Her husband slapped her around, and she needed a friend.

Nothing happened. I wasn’t at the bar for her.

I was at the bar for you . Waiting for you to come home to talk to you and tell you I—” I sucked in a breath and shook my head.

I couldn’t do this with her. I’d keep hurting her.

We’d continue this awful fucking cycle of fighting.

“Stop fucking saying I don’t want you, Scarlett.

I’m sick of hearing it. Like anyone in their right mind wouldn’t want you.

” I squeezed past her. “Being friends isn’t an option.

We can be cordial, but I can’t do anything else. Leave it alone.”

That finally shut her up. Never in my life had I needed someone so badly. Needed, and couldn’t have. I bolted outside and cursed myself for losing my cool. Only she burrowed under my skin like that.

My fucking kryptonite.