Page 84 of Call the Shots (For The Arena #1)

BEAR

WHY WE STUDY ASTRONOMY

Since our schedules were busy with hockey and June’s academic stuff, we couldn’t make it to the planetarium before the end of the summer.

If we wanted the extra credit—and I couldn’t say no, June would’ve yelled at me—we had to find an alternative for Dr. Schulman’s class.

She had a solution, a rooftop on campus with a postcard-like view.

It sounded like the perfect plan until I saw where we’d be sitting.

I directed her back to the elevator. “Welp, it was a nice idea.”

“It’s not dangerous, you just need to hold onto the bar to get to the ledge?—”

“Yeah, I don’t think so.”

I was a weaker man than I thought. There was only so much pleading with those big green eyes that I could take. Smug, June walked me to the death trap, a little ledge area to sit on. It was a bad idea. The view couldn’t be worth both of our necks.

“Come on, Forty,” she whispered, bringing me along.

“This is stupid,” I muttered. “Woah— hold on —” I gripped her by her hoodie as she inched over to the ledge.

My legs were long enough not to worry about it but her?

I didn’t let go until I was sure she wouldn’t fall.

Grumbling under my breath, I followed. “Of all the ways to give me a heart attack?—”

“ Look, ” June urged.

Oh.

There were miles of sprawling Houston streets below us and downtown sparkled in the beginning of night, all blues and golds.

Up here, the air smelled crisper, fresher, and I took deep breaths, watching the cars racing below us, crisscross through the city, everything so alive.

I settled next to her, stretching my legs out.

“It’s been…” she trailed off, resting her cheek on my shoulder. “I wanted to come here with you. Have a break.”

I pulled her to me, watching as the sky darkened from a deep, endless blue to the hints of stars. Yeah. It was a goddamn incredible view.

“Astronomical twilight,” she whispered.

I nodded. “Sky radiation.”

“Solar elevation angle.”

“Uh…stars. Sky. Telescope.”

She giggled. “That’s what we’ll do—write sporadic terms on the paper and call it a day.”

“Call it a night.”

She snickered and I squeezed her waist. More stars twinkled in the distance and Dr. Schulman’s lectures came back to me. You know, the important stuff. Tugging June’s chair closer and using our professor’s pauses to run my hand over her thigh under the desk.

“Forty?”

“Mm?”

“How did you convince Dr. Schulman to offer extra credit?”

I chuckled. “I told him why we study astronomy.”

“What’d you say?”

“Because if I only studied what I needed for my career, I’d be a huge dipshit. And it’s good to branch out to stuff you think you don’t like because maybe you’ll realize it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you.”

“You like astronomy that much?”

“I meant you .”

Her laugh was music. “You’re such an ass kisser.”

“There’s a bite mark on your ass to prove it.” I grinned. “Yeah, I went to his office hours and broke down in an hour spiel about how I’m in love with you. Really pathetic stuff, anyone would’ve thought you had me at gunpoint to do it.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see her mouth fall open. “Oh my god. No. ”

“He was really uncomfortable.”

“You didn’t have to do that—” An incredulous laugh burst out of her. “I’m sorry, Bear?—”

Enjoying the sound of her laugh, I held in the rest of the story. There was another part and it wasn’t funny. When her laugh eased, I waited a little, weaving my fingers through hers. “And—uh—we talked about other stuff.”

“Other stuff?”

“His wife died of breast cancer a couple of years ago.”

Her eyes were on me again. “Oh.”

“Yeah. I talked about my mom’s diagnosis.”

June squeezed my hand. "Do you remember your mom during things like this?"

Silence lapsed. I kept my eyes on the stars.

"Sorry," she whispered. "I don’t want to?—"

"No, it’s fine," I said quietly. "It’s okay."

"I don’t want to push."

"It’s cool, June." I raked a hand through my hair. "Uh, no. Because I don’t really remember my mom.”

“Oh.”

“Seven years old, I should remember, right?” I struggled to explain.

“My uncle was part of a beer league, he gave me my first skates. My mom saw how much I loved the ice and signed me up for a kid’s team.

When she was in the hospital full-time, the season was starting again, and I can tell you all of the games we lost."

June gazed at me, quiet.

I listed them off from memory, games from more than ten years ago.

"I was obsessed. Like, if we could get our scores up then—” I rubbed the back of my neck.

“But then she died. The paperwork for my custody change took—I don’t know—eight months or something, I played hockey during it.

I can remember those games like they happened yesterday.

It was all I could think about and everything else just slipped away.

I was so angry, I forgot the person who meant the most to me. "

It was silent.

"Bear, I’m…I don’t know what to say.” June hugged me tight. “I’m really sorry."

“I’m angry right now,” I admitted. “I’m angry at Xavier—and I fucked up going after him in front of everybody—I’m fucking furious at Montoya and Elijah.

But I don’t want to be that guy who’s so fucking angry all the time.

I’m trying, June. I’m trying really hard because I don’t want to be like that anymore. ”

June touched my face. “I know you are.”

“I’ve thought about it. I want you to be with somebody who can think through shit,” I admitted, my voice low. “Somebody calm and good for you, a nice guy. I’m not that person by a long shot. But I’m trying, June. I promise I’m trying.”

“You are good for me,” she whispered, and my heart skipped a beat. “I know you’re trying. I see it. The effort you put in, how much you pour into your team. How much you pour into everything?—”

I dipped down and pressed my lips to hers, letting my hands seek her, slipping under her hoodie to touch her back, just to feel how warm she was, to feel her. I took every kiss I could, drinking her in, unable to stop. “I love you.”

“I—I love you too,” she said between sharp breaths.

“Let me rent the house.”

“Bear…”

“I’ll sign the lease tomorrow, just stay, don’t leave?—”

June broke away, taking deep breaths, her eyes on the horizon. Fuck, I pushed too far. Since the party, we’d carefully stepped around it, but I knew I wasn’t the only one who’d been thinking about her move.

“It means a lot to me that you’d do that for me, but the house isn’t mine anymore,” she said softly. “It doesn’t have any meaning for me. It’d just be going back to what’s comfortable instead of what I need.”

“I’ll have my own dorm, no roommates. Move in with me.”

“I don’t want to be your patient. I don’t want you to take care of me, Bear. That’s not your job.”

“We take care of each other. That’s what we do. We’re so good at it, we…know each other." I hesitated. "I trust you in this way that I don’t know how to explain to anybody else.”

“Me too.” She intertwined her fingers with mine again. “I’ve never felt this way before.”

I glanced down at her. “Really?”

For long seconds, June gazed at me, and something crossed her face. Her features pinched, she opened her mouth to say something and stopped. “Bear?”

“Yeah?”

“I’ve never experienced anything close to this,” she said softly. “But…there’s still some stuff I need to—I’ll think about it. I promise.”