Page 63 of Call the Shots (For The Arena #1)

JUNE

DIVORCED BY MONDAY

While Bear gargled mouthwash, I found the bottle of lube, preparing to rock his world until…I wasn’t. Having sex on the rug had been one thing. That’d been forty seconds of lifting my skirt. This was another.

Bear entered the bedroom, ripping off his shirt.

“Hey—um—” I swallowed. I didn’t realize I’d feel like this. “It’s been a while since I’ve been fully naked in front of someone…”

He stopped unzipping his jeans. “Oh. Is this a—uh—trigger for you?”

“Maybe? I don’t know.”

He picked up his shirt. “Do you want me to put this on?”

“No. I want—um—to try clothes off but there’s a possibility I might put some of them back on or—I don’t know.” Shit. Where did the anxiety come from? Why couldn't it crawl under a rock?

“I’m happy with anything you give me,” he said softly.

My cheeks warmed. “Oh.”

“But can I take my jeans off? I slept in them. I can change into sweats.”

“You can take them off. You don’t have to put anything on,” I said, embarrassed, pulling my shirt up before I stopped.

“I used to have a flat stomach. My hips didn’t look like this, they looked like this—” I made the motion with my hand.

“And my breasts were smaller and perkier. Now they sag and—if you’re expecting the polaroid pictures, that’s not what I look like anymore. ”

“I’m not thinking about those, June.”

I couldn’t change anything about my body and thinking like that would’ve made my new therapist click her pen. I took a deep breath and slowly slipped off my shirt.

“I’ll be respectful,” he assured me.

It wasn’t even one of my cute bras. I winced at the sight and unclasped it from the back, my breasts spilling free.

“ Fuck me in the head—” Bear blurted out. “Sorry. I—sorry. They’re—I didn’t think they—your bras are doing a lot to hide—holy fuck. Sorry. Fuck.”

My body burned with the blush while Bear’s breathing turned ragged. He took a step forward and stopped himself, hands curling into fists. The only thing he wore were the boxers and the fabric strained from his erection.

I never realized how much I wanted that.

Wanted Bear to like me because I liked him.

I wanted him to be attracted to me in the same way I found him attractive.

It’d always been a tossup with Xavier, I could never be enough, and I didn’t realize how much that affected me until now.

With each heavy breath Bear took, I felt less unsure and more in control.

“Can I touch?” he choked out.

I nodded and Bear strode over, dipping down to kiss me. Goosebumps pebbled my skin while his hands roamed, only stopping when he broke away to gaze in wonder.

“I’ve wanted you for so fucking long,” he muttered, kissing me harder. His tongue swiped along my bottom lip, leaving me trembling.

It was more than I’d ever experienced. More everything. What was it? I was so sensitive with him. When he dipped to kiss my neck, I could feel his lips moving, his teeth nipping the skin, every breathless pant. I’d never been so aware of someone before.

“If someone wakes me up, I’m going to murder them,” he muttered, catching my lips for another kiss.

Bear backed me to the bed, and I touched his chest, drifting lower and lower to the hard muscles of his stomach until my fingers met his happy trail. I could only focus so much. He deepened every kiss until I melted. Fuck, why didn’t we do this earlier?

I touched his bulge through his boxers, and he gasped into the kiss.

“No—” Bear backed away. “Nope, fuck no.”

I blinked, confused. “What is it?”

“I—uh—need to eat you out,” he hurried to say and propped me up on the bed. I tried to touch his chest, and he brushed me away. “Don’t—June. Don’t touch.”

“Why?”

“Look—I—” He squeezed his eyes shut. “I can feel the pressure building, I’m going to cum early.

You make these sounds, and you look so beautiful, and you’re naked on my bed, this is what I’ve been fantasizing about for a long time.

” He got down on his knees and dragged me towards him.

“I’m excited, okay? This hasn’t happened to me before you, this is fucking embarrassing. ”

He spread my legs and fell silent.

“You’re dripping on my bed.” His voice dropped to something huskier, rougher. “Thank you.”

Bear pressed his lips to me and a moan ripped out of my throat.

He tugged me closer, burying his tongue inside me. No prep time, no inching up to it, Bear’s eyes were half-mast as he devoured me, groaning.

I hit the bed and wove my fingers through his hair, gripping for something to hold on to. Listening to him brought me to a whole other level. I could hear him jerking himself off, grunting in pleasure. Bear’s noises turned harsher, he was close.

When he sucked on my clit, my muscles locked, I was so close, so fucking close too?—

“ Bear! ” I gasped, stars exploding in my vision as I came to the sounds of Bear cumming in his fist. He shuddered against me, his cheek to my thigh, and finally stilled, swearing under his breath. Neither of us moved. I gazed at the ceiling. “Holy shit.”

Bear stood up with his shirt, wiping the cum off his hand. “When does hockey start?”

“October?” I managed.

“Yeah. I’m fucking you until October.”

My cheeks burned while he traced the inside of my thigh. “That’ll be kind of hard with the transfer.”

“What’ll be hard is scheduling after October. Before October, I don’t give a fuck if I have to hitchhike. Your parents are going to claim me as a dependent for how often I’m dropping by.”

A giggle slipped out of me, so unexpected in the middle of sex, and I kept giggling when I caught sight of the spots on the blankets. “You weren’t fast enough. You got cum on the bed.”

“At least it wasn’t yours this time,” he chuckled.

I paused. “What?”

Bear shut his mouth. I didn’t imagine the mood shift, he froze.

“Bear?” I blinked. “You came on my bed?”

“The—I—” His words rushed out together. “I—I didn’t mean to. I went to take this photo with your plant, but your pillow smelled like you—” He flinched.

“My pillow?”

“I put my face in your pillow and beat myself off—but I washed the blankets?—”

While he fumbled through apologies, my body heated. If he would’ve told me in a regular conversation, maybe it would’ve been different, but all I could think about was Bear, who wanted me so badly my scent made him cum.

I wrapped a leg around him and pulled him closer. “Why’d you use my pillow?”

Surprise flashed across his face. “I’m not lying, June.”

“I don’t think you are.”

“I’m not saying this as some kind of fantasy, I did that shit.”

“I know you did.”

His eyes darkened and he touched my waist. They were slow movements, testing the waters to make sure this was what I wanted. He didn’t have to do that. Arousal tightened my body while I watched him. The air was thick with tension.

“I jacked off with my face in your pillow,” he said softly.

“Why?”

“Why do you think, June?” He tilted his head. “Because if I closed my eyes, I could picture stretching out that little pussy and fucking you how I’ve been dreaming about.”

Bear bent down but I touched his jaw, keeping that space between us.

His breaths were shallow. He kept inching towards me, his eyes burning into mine, but I didn’t let him take what he wanted.

I wanted to prolong the moment. Tease him until he couldn’t stand it.

Because I could taste how much he wanted this, and it was a high like nothing else.

“Why don’t you ask the question you want to ask?” he whispered.

I traced his bottom lip. “What question?”

“If the first time was an accident, how many times did I do it on purpose?”

His lips crushed mine, his cock brushing against me, rock-hard again.

“You want to know, June?” He bit my lip and drew his tongue over it, soothing the sting.

“How many times I got myself off thinking about you? How many sleepless nights I’ve been fucking hoping for this?

” He kissed my neck. “I slept with your pillow and my morning wood was fucking painful, but it felt so good to wrap a hand around my dick. First thing I did was get off, thinking about you.”

“What were you thinking about?” I panted.

Bear moved fast, yanking a pillow over and tearing the condom wrapper open. Before I knew it, he was sliding the pillow underneath me.

“Getting to fuck the sweet pussy that ruined my life.”

I was so sensitive after the orgasm, I gulped in lungfuls of air while Bear pushed into me, swearing under his breath. He was too big. Bear couldn’t just push. My hand went to his stomach, stopping him to give me some kind of breather.

“Oh, fuck —” I choked out. “Too big?—”

“You’ve taken me before,” he murmured.

“Sensitive— sensitive ? — ”

“That’s right, baby, feel every inch. All for you.”

Pleasure was a blinding-white fire, and every tremble sent a shiver through my body. It was so fucking good, I couldn’t handle it. Bear watched while I unwound beneath him, my body fighting to adjust. His fingers drifted down the side of my face before he kissed me, swallowing the gasps.

“Let me in, baby, this is where I’m supposed to be.”

Fuck, I wanted to, but I could barely think, much less move. “I—I can’t?—”

“Yes, you can.” His hands went to my thighs, nudging them apart until the new angle left me reeling.

My eyes welled with tears. “Bear?—”

“So gorgeous, so pretty, all mine,” he hummed, sinking deeper. “I don’t want to go.” Every time I tried to stop kissing, Bear wouldn’t let me, his lips catching mine again. “I don’t want to leave you ever.”

His words flew over my head as he started to fuck with long, leisurely strokes. If he would’ve fucked me like this on the rug, I would’ve been wearing his jersey all summer. The sensitivity peaked inside me, spilling tears down my cheeks.

I buried my face in his neck while he thrust me into the bed. “I’m going to cum?—”

“Cum on my cock,” he growled. “I need it.”

“I’m cumming—” I tightened my hold on him, my world falling to pieces. “I’m cumming?—”

“Fuck, you are—” He gathered me in his arms. “I can feel it— oh, fuck— keep going. So fucking tight, I need it—I need it?—”

His hips snapped against mine, ramming into me, fucking me faster, until he spilled into the condom. When he finally stilled, I was barely coherent. Bear was heavy on top of me and I couldn’t move. Couldn’t dream of it.

“Kiss,” he rasped.

I blinked. “Hm?”

“I want a kiss before I get up.” He kissed me and eased out, another sensation to leave me breathless.

Bear wasn’t gone for long. I had five or six seconds alone before he was on top of me again, kissing my neck, my cheek, my jaw, always shifting closer, like he could find a new way to bridge the distance between us.

“This part is fantastic,” he muttered.

“What part?”

“The hugging.”

“Cuddling?”

“Uh-huh.” Bear buried his face in my breasts. “And these tits. These are the greatest things ever invented. Let me suck on them for an hour and no pre-nup. Bleed me dry, I don’t care.”

I giggled, sleepy. “Is this like one of those pacts? If we don’t find anybody, we’ll go to Las Vegas, get Elvis to marry us?”

“Get plastered, married, fuck in Vegas, sounds beautiful.”

“Divorced by Monday,” I quipped. “A weekend to remember.”

“We won’t get divorced.”

I paused while Bear breathed slowly, his eyes half-mast in a drunken sex stupor. He looked so happy. Because he hadn’t gotten laid in months. That was it. I was imagining that wishful, dream-like sigh under his words.

“Bear?” I outlined his jaw, drawing my fingertips across his skin. “I know we’re joking around?—”

“I’m not joking, June.”

My heart skipped a beat.

We were joking. We had to be.

My feelings for Bear were compartmentalized in a box, locked tight. I cared about him so much more than I ever would’ve known when I signed up for the Gladiators but anything serious wouldn’t work. Did I say something that made him think…?

My eyes shot to the ceiling. No concha, stay calm. “I’m excited for this—this next step in your journey.”

“Huh?”

“Because you’ll go to Boston where you’ll start the rest of your life.” I tried to swallow past the knot in my throat. “And your mental block won’t matter anymore, and you’ll find a girl and?—”

I could feel his eyes on me. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m happy for you,” I lied and didn’t. I was happy for him, and I wasn’t.

“Why are you talking like you’re not part of my future?”

Don’t look at him, don’t look at him, don’t look at him .

“We’ll always be friends,” I said carefully. “You’re important to me. But—um—we’ve only known each other for the summer, and this is shared trauma and?—”

“What?” he asked, mystified.

“You were in a traumatic situation in North Dakota.”

“It wasn’t that bad?—”

“It was a breach of trust and I’m so sorry that happened, Bear,” I said gently. “You should be with someone who knows hockey, who isn’t connected to your family like I am, and—and I wouldn’t be healthy for you.”

“Healthy?” he echoed, his voice quiet.

My phone rang from my pile of clothes and we glanced towards it before turning back to each other. It was silent before Bear spoke.

“Can you let it go to voicemail? I want to talk. Because I care about you, June.”

“I care about you too, but your life is just beginning.” I whispered. “You don’t want it tied to the past.”

My phone finally silenced but the second it did, Bear’s phone rang. We glanced at each other again, confused, and I motioned for him to answer it. Bear reached over the side of the bed, digging it out of his pocket.

“It’s Mom,” he mumbled before answering the call. “Mom?”

“WE HAVE A COACH!” Cleo screamed.

Our eyes met, shocked, and Bear gripped his phone. “ What? ”

“WE HAVE A COACH!” Cleo belted out, laughing manically. “THEY’RE CONVINCED THE LAWSUIT WOULD BE TOO BIG! THE GLADIATORS HAVE A COACH! WE’RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE! ”