Page 38 of Call the Shots (For The Arena #1)
BEAR
CRUSHES YOUR SKULL
Ten minutes ago, I was gaming in my bedroom, volume cranked up because I’d been trying to get June interested in this gardening video game, until I left to find June.
The plan was to grab Montoya for lunch but instead, my teammates circled around us, bristling with anger, Denali was on the phone with the cops, and my insides felt like marshmallow candy, stuck in the microwave for too long.
Wade’s eyes darted to me. “Bear?—”
“ No! ” June snapped. “He’s not talking to you without a lawyer!”
I’d witnessed June defending others, but I never expected her to defend me. My bones were mush, a feeling I’d never had before. I stopped gawking at her long enough to confirm it to Wade. “I don’t want to speak to you.”
My teammates elbowed each other and moved in, a looming mass that kept catching Wade’s attention.
“ Beaaaar, ” Paisley whispered. “This isn’t like you.”
June put a hand on her hip. “You think you can be silent, like you’re not involved? Like you’re an innocent bystander? No! You don’t get to talk to him either!”
More of that boneless feeling. I couldn’t look away from June. “I don’t want to speak to you, Paisley.”
Silence settled until campus security walked through. Paisley tried to talk again but June overtook her, asking security to escort them out.
“Yeah!” Elijah shouted, in a weird East Coast accent. “Get the fawk outta here!”
The rest of the Gladiators joined in or clapped me on the back. They couldn’t all know about my situation—there was no way. Montoya would’ve asked if I knew I had ‘inappropriate pictures’ online or whatever.
It didn’t matter that they didn’t know. I gazed around, stunned, as my teammates shouted them down, following security.
“ Fuck off! ” Montoya’s voice cracked. My head spun, that was the first time I heard him curse.
I watched June slip into our dorm, like nothing happened. Like this was a regular day. Ears ringing, I followed her in. “June?”
She dragged out a suitcase. “I’m sorry, that was my fault, I can book a hotel room?—”
“No—no, I’m okay?—”
“Are you sure?” She came up with a little tube of antibiotic cream. “I’m so sorry about your hands.”
Hands?
My knuckles were bruised to shit, and I didn’t even feel it. The fight with Wade had been such an instantaneous rush, I didn’t know whose ass I was beating until my teammates stopped the fight. The moment I saw someone with their hands on June, I lost it.
Oh…no.
“You know what, Bear?” June piled clothes into her suitcase. “I could be a lawyer. Why not? I’m getting a political science degree, I had a four-point-oh when I hosted tailgate parties. If Elle Woods could go to law school, so can I!” She paused. “Right? I could go to law school?”
“You’d be the best at it,” I managed.
“Pssh, you’re right. Why would I worry? I know I can do this.” June tossed a hoodie on the kitchen island and continued talking about law school, rummaging through the bathroom for her toiletries while my pulse raced.
The realization sank into me like a knife, carving me up.
“I have a crush on June,” I mumbled.
No. That wasn’t right—I wanted to fuck June. I had an embarrassing dream where she was running her fingers through my hair, and when she finally touched my dick, I jolted awake, boxers sticky with cum.
That made sense. Humiliating, because I wasn’t a fourteen-year-old boy with wet dreams anymore, but it made sense!
I wanted to fuck June. Messy bareback, cum on her face, make her choke on my cock, and hold her hand on the way to class.
Spend the day building zoos with her on Zoo Cultivation IV, and take her to visit my cousins in Canada for Christmas.
Look at the stars together because the stars there were so beautiful but not as beautiful as?—
“Shit, fuck.” I stared at the kitchen counter. “Fuck, shit.”
They must call it a crush because it crushes your skull. The thoughts in my brain unspooled, fantasies that had nothing to do with putting my dick inside June. Fantasies that didn’t make sense. Long phone calls and forehead kisses—the lamest shit imaginable suddenly sounded really…really…
“Bear? You okay?” June called. “You’re breathing so heavily.”
“Huh?”
“If you’re choking on something, smack the counter.”
“I—uh?—”
“You’re not dying, right?”
“I—I don’t know.”
She added shorts to her suitcase. “I’m sorry about today. Literally nothing’s going to plan, I can’t believe they moved up the bus.”
I froze. “You’re leaving now? ”
“Mm-hmm.”
“But we’re getting lunch together?—”
“We have to reschedule?—”
“You can stay for dinner, and tonight, I’ll drive you to Austin.”
“It’s a six-hour roundtrip, why would you do that?”
What kind of question was that? Because I wanted to spend time with her. If that meant I’d have to drive long hours to get that time, I really didn’t give a shit.
June opened her suitcase again. “Ugh, my good dresses are in storage…”
“You have the pink one.”
“That’s my weight goal dress, I can’t fit in that yet.”
I blinked, unsure if I heard her correctly. “Huh?”
“Did you see my hoodie?” she asked, leaving for the bedroom. “It’s King’s. I need it for the bus, I swear I just had it.”
King’s hoodie. Her boyfriend’s hoodie.
While June was busy packing, I was sinking in quicksand. It felt like my lungs were collapsing. Her boyfriend—King. The boyfriend she’d travel and vacation with. June would be leaving, wearing his hoodie?—
My eyes landed on the hoodie, in a clump on the kitchen floor.
It must’ve fallen when she tossed it on the counter. I stared for a beat too long before opening the dishwasher to shove the hoodie on the half-empty rack of dirty dishes.
June returned with a sigh. “Where did it go?”
“No idea,” I lied. “You can wear mine.”
“ Bear, ” June tried to argue while I grabbed my hoodie from my dresser. “I can’t wear a Gladiators hoodie on a Romans trip. And it has your name on it.”
“It’s for the bus ride,” I heard myself say. This was spiraling out of control, but I waited with bated breath.
“The bus does get cold…” she admitted reluctantly. “I don’t know where King’s hoodie went.”
“I’m sure it’ll pop up when you’re gone.”
“I—um—okay.” Reluctantly, June slipped mine on. “The guys are going to have a field day when they see this.”
She pushed up the sleeves and my heart thudded in my chest. MOREAU was written on her back. My fingers drummed against my thigh. I wanted to kiss June, and I wanted my brain to stop caving in, and I wanted to toss the rest of her hoodies in the dumpster so she had to wear mine.
Instead, I swallowed. “I’ll grab the elevator.”
“You’re gigantically fucked,” I muttered at the elevator, needing a few seconds to get my head together so I didn’t blurt out anything, because my words had their matches lit, ready to explode. “What’s wrong with you? She has a boyfriend.”
A shitty boyfriend who never saw her, ever. A shitty boyfriend who still got to have her. The jealousy swept me up like a tidal wave, suffocating me.
“You don’t go after girls in relationships, that’s not who you are,” I continued, pacing. “You’re an asshole, not a scumbag.”
The look of June, bent over in my hoodie…I resisted the urge to bite my bruised fist.
“She dated your stepbrother. You’re roommates. She doesn’t even like hockey. She has a boyfriend, she loves him, she’s leaving at the end of the summer?—”
Our door opened, and I fell silent as June hurried with her suitcase. “Where’s Elijah? He was supposed to meet me.” She stepped into the elevator. “Did I give you the watering schedule for my plants?”
“They’ll be so well-watered, it’ll be like they’ve never been watered before.” Bear, close your FUCKING MOUTH. “Perfectly watered. Great watered.”
“Um…I can ask Montoya.”
“Trust me, your plants aren’t dying on my watch. I’ll be the best plant dad ever.” If I had duct tape, I would’ve used it on myself. “Best plant stepdad ever. I’m not the real dad, I’m better than that. I’m the dad who stepped up .”
“Uh…” She blinked. “Alright?”
Finally, I allowed the elevator to close, hands shoved in my pockets. “Have a great week.”
“You too, I’ll text the t-shirt delivery stuff.”
“Got it. Bye…friend!”
I didn’t say that. Please. Fuck. No. The look on June’s face confirmed it and the final shot I had was her staring, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
When enough seconds passed, I smacked myself in the face. “Bye, friend? ” I stumbled backwards to the couch in the lounge. “You’re fucked, you couldn’t be more fucked?—”
I started to hike myself over the couch before a voice stopped me. “Bear! Wait!”
Fear paralyzed me as I stared at the elevator, unable to believe it.
Slowly, I glanced over my shoulder to see Montoya, Fridge, and Nick, sitting on the floor, propped up against the couch.
The three of them had been gaming together but now their tablets sat on their laps and their mouths were open.
My heart plummeted to my ass.
“Bro.” Nick shook his head. “ Bro. ”
“We didn’t hear any of that.” Montoya flinched. “I mean, none of the talking to yourself—sorry—or putting yourself in the friendzone?—”
“You must be the dumbest dude I’ve ever met,” Fridge interrupted. “You might as well have written a manifesto and slipped it under everyone’s doors. At least most of them went to lunch. I swear, you’re dumb but lucky—if Elijah heard that?—”
A door creaked down the hall. “Oh, Elijah heard everything.”
“Elijah,” I breathed out. “ No. ”
He shoved something in his back pocket. “This would be the perfect opportunity to fuck with you. But…” He shrugged. “Thank you for defending me to Vernon. That’s not a joke.” He opened the door to the stairs. “Your secret’s safe with?—”
“You’d have to have fucking amnesia to believe him,” Nick said.
“I don’t care what you believe, Nick,” Elijah laughed.
“So…” Montoya swallowed. “You won’t tell June?”
“No. Maybe.” Elijah grinned. “I’m kidding!”
The door swung shut behind him and I put my head in my hands. “Ah, shit .”
“Yeah, it’s not even funny,” Fridge said solemnly. “You’re fucked.”