Page 65 of Call the Shots (For The Arena #1)

JUNE

A TIGER AFTER A BABY DEER

We left Roman Villa as a team and Montoya helped me carry things to the Colo, telling me about Anthony Sémajuste. “His daughter’s an alternate captain for ASU’s hockey team. They’re a two-time champion?—”

I snuck a look behind him to see Nick talking to Bear, who lit up when our eyes met.

Face forward, June .

I wasn’t avoiding Bear. I mean, I couldn’t, we lived together, and I didn’t want to avoid him. I just needed a couple of minutes to figure out how to fix this.

At the Colo, everyone separated to clean before Sémajuste’s arrival. I lugged boxes to Cleo’s office, returning to grab the last one when I ran into Bear.

Like, took a sharp turn and almost hit him.

“Hey,” he said softly.

I took a step closer to the rink. “Hello.” I winced. “I’m sorry, I’m not trying to be awkward?—”

“I want to talk?—”

His lips tugged up for a smile and my eyes flickered to the rink. It’d been a long time since I was flustered with someone. I cleared my throat. “I didn’t mean to lead you on?—”

“I don’t want us to?—”

We fell silent again.

He leaned against the boards. “You didn’t lead me on, June.”

“We’re different people. I wouldn’t make you happy.”

“Oh. I understand.”

There was an uncomfortable twinge in my chest, but I nodded. “Good.”

“I’m not the kind of guy you’d swipe right on.”

“What?” I blinked, sure I heard him wrong. “No, Bear?—”

“I can be a dick. I get it.”

“That’s not what?—”

“I’m like a good time, not a long time.”

“No, you’re so easy to—to—” My ears burned bright red, and Bear studied the blush. Something new crossed his face. I floundered and he cut the distance between us.

“What were you saying?” He tilted his head. “June?”

I tried to inch away but Bear placed a hand on my waist, drawing me to the boards again. My heart hammered in my throat. “I was with Xavier for six years. His neighbors know me, his mom’s Bunco night knows me, his grandfather has my name in his will, this would be messy?—”

“Do you have feelings for me?” he asked suddenly.

I froze.

Say no.

Lie, June. LIE.

The longer the awkward silence stretched, the more pleased Bear was, his smile growing by the second.

“It’s complicated,” I managed.

Oh my god. Why couldn’t I lie?! I’d lied to Bear before, this wasn’t new! But the feelings inside were. This was out of my control.

“That’s a perfect answer,” he breathed out.

“We’re friends, Bear.”

The rumble in his chest was so low, it sounded like a purr. “You like me, I like you.”

“It’s more complicated than that.” There was a hitch in my breath while he trailed his fingers up my side. “Do you know what an eating disorder is? It’s wasted time. I think about the hours I spent obsessing over diet plans and how I looked—the time I could’ve spent living my life.”

“You think something between us would be a waste of time?”

“I’d be wasting yours,” I admitted quietly. “I’m not mentally in the best shape. I’m trying, I’m picking up the pieces, but I wouldn’t be good for you.”

“I don’t believe that.”

I ignored him and skipped to a better topic. “I want to help you with your mental block.”

He frowned. “Mental block?”

“I know girls who would be like a clean slate for you.”

“I’m not interested.”

“Once you figure out you can sleep with someone else, that’s the end of—of?—”

Of what? What do I call this?

I swallowed. “I’ll refresh your dating profiles.”

“I deleted those.”

“What? Why?”

“You fucked me on the rug, gave me Forty, and I knew I wouldn’t get that anywhere else.”

My pulse kicked up a notch as Bear touched my face. I reached to stop him, but his fingers curled along mine, engulfing them, which didn’t help my racing heartbeat.

“Nothing serious between us would work, it just wouldn’t?—”

“I want you. You want me.” He brought my hand closer, kissing the inside of my wrist. “I can still taste your cum, don’t tell me I’m wrong.”

He pressed his lips to my cheek, and my blush grew. Didn’t I put up a hand to stop him? I couldn’t remember. Bear raised my hand to his neck and then I was touching him too while his lips inched over, pressing feather-light kisses, breaking my defenses down.

Pretending this was anything but something that’d break hearts was a mistake, but pleasure radiated from Bear with each kiss he seared to my skin. It was addictive, making him happy—even if I knew it’d lead to pain in the end. How selfish was that?

I squeezed my eyes shut. “Nothing serious, but…”

Don’t continue that thought, shut up!

“We could do like a…friends with benefits thing…” Someone else must’ve offered that option because it couldn’t be me saying those stupid words.

Bear’s lips hovered inches away from mine. “Are you going to be a good girl and sit on my face when we get home?”

Say no. SAY NO.

Except my common sense was beaten into submission and I knew exactly what to say to make him even happier.

“If it’s just the two of us in this thing …” I hesitated. “We could get tested and then no condoms?”

“Oh, fuck, ” he muttered before his lips crashed to mine. The kisses were greedy, taking my objections with them as he pushed me against the boards. His hand wrapped against my throat and my lips parted with the new sensation, his tongue slipping in.

With a grunt, Bear jerked away from me.

Denali yanked him by his shirt. “This isn’t a repeat from last night! Fridge! ”

“That’s not on me!” Fridge shouted. “I’m not peeling him off of her anymore!”

Bear didn’t say anything, he just gazed at me, dazed, his lips curved for a breathless smile.

“We’re focused on the Colo and hockey—not pussy, ” Denali reminded him, his face twisted in disgust. “With her fucking name written on your face—don’t you have pride? Self-respect?" He shook him, gripping his jersey. "Stop drooling on her! Get to work!”

“Sorry, Denali,” I managed, ears pink.

“It’s not you with the lack of self-control,” he scoffed. “I watched him follow you around the rink like a tiger after a baby deer—Bear, I don’t care what you do in the dorms. Here? The Séma-automatic is coming. Stay off of her. ”

I returned to my station where Cleo gave me an obvious once-over.

“We’re friends,” I lied and didn’t.

“Friends. Hm.” She typed on her laptop again. “When I get married to Miles, I guess we’ll graduate to best friends.”

“Oh my god.” I sank to my chair, staring at the table. “I’m a horrible, awful person—what am I doing?”

“What do you mean?”

“I saw Warren,” I whispered.

“Bear’s dad?”

“I wasn’t sure—I saw his car at the student center, I think he was there for one of Xavier’s ceremonies—I didn’t want it to be true.”

“So? He visited his kids?”

Slowly, I shook my head. “Kid. Not kids.”

Cleo’s eyes flickered to Bear, and I followed her line of sight to him talking to Pickles and Charlie. His gaze landed on mine and there was that smile again, so hopeful and boyish and sweet. So different from any kind of smile he had from the summer.

“Oh,” Cleo whispered.

“Those trips I took with Xavier’s family, the dinners, the weekends, remember how I used to complain about Bear not showing up?” I put my head in my hands. “What if I was wrong? What if he wasn’t invited?”

“Um… shit .”

“What am I supposed to say?”

“I—I don’t know.”

My eyes widened. “You always know what to do!”

“Not this. I can fix sports teams; I can’t fix deep-rooted family problems.”

“Do I tell Bear? Now? ”

She made a noise at the back of her throat. “I’ve never seen him happy. This would definitely kill him.”

“I don’t want to kill Bear! I don’t want to hurt him at all!”

Her eyes darted to her phone. “Oh, wow, Sémajuste’s here, Gladiators! SéMAJUSTE’S HERE!”

“Wait, Mom! What do I do?!” I pleaded but one of my best friends in the world scurried away from the table, gathering everyone from their workstations. “Mom! MOM! ”