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“Yeah.” Gavin sounded even more wrecked than Zach imagined.

“Think you could keep your hands up there like that?”

Gavin let out a shuddering breath. “Um, yeah. Yes.”

“You want to keep your hands up there like that?”

Gavin arched up into him again. “God, yes.”

“Okay, then. Be good for me.”

Gavin swore but Zach couldn’t even pay attention because his own brain was short-circuiting, his cock twitching in his sweatpants, because they both knew Gavin was going to do whatever Zach said.

That he was going to be good .

Zach released Gavin’s wrists but true to his word, they didn’t move an inch. He took his sweet time making his way back down to the waistband of Gavin’s jeans.

If Gavin thought he was going to go quicker now because of how fast he tugged down the rest of his clothes, he was going to have to think again.

Especially once Zach got his first glimpse of Gavin’s cock. Hard and pink, leaking against his stomach. It had a nice thickness to it, and Zach’s mouth went dry, imagining all the things he wanted to do with it.

“God, please, please .” Gavin’s voice was thready, whining.

Zach tore his gaze away from his cock and met Gavin’s wild eyes. “I thought you were going to be good,” he said casually.

Watched as Gavin’s cock twitched .

Settled his hands on Gavin’s thighs and squeezed. Loving the strength of them, the corded muscle, the faint scratch of the dark hair against his palms.

“I can be, I will be,” he swore.

“Alright. See that you are,” Zach said. He hadn’t realized how much this was turning him on, but he was aching in his sweats, sweating through his T-shirt. He stripped it off and Gavin groaned again.

“So gorgeous,” Gavin panted.

“Yeah, I know you think so. Caught you watching me in the gym.” Zach shot him a cocky grin. “Bet you wanted me to do this to you every time you looked when you shouldn’t have been.”

He leaned in and swiped his tongue across the head of Gavin’s cock, just tasting his precome. Gavin made a noise like he’d just been shot.

And that was hot, too.

“Remember, you’re being good and not moving,” Zach said, leaning against and toying with the head with his tongue. Just teasing, a little, enjoying the tiny aborted twitches of Gavin’s hips as he desperately tried not to chase the pleasure.

“I am, I am, ” Gavin gasped out.

Zach gave him one last look before sliding him into his mouth. He was so hot and perfect, filling his mouth and making Zach realize just how long it had been since he’d done this.

Nothing else would’ve compared though. He’d wanted Gavin’s taste in his mouth, the weight of him on his tongue .

Gavin was shaking all over and Zach knew it wasn’t going to take very long for him to lose it, so he sucked hard and took him as deep as he dared, feeling his throat close around him.

“Fuck,” Gavin shouted and trembled, a second later shooting down Zach’s throat.

Zach worked him through it, mind full of hot static, finally letting his softening dick slip from between his lips.

Panting a little, he finally rose up and pulled his sweats down. At the first touch of his hand against his sensitized cock, he hissed.

“Wait—” Gavin said, finally trying to rise.

“No, just like this,” Zach said, climbing onto his hips, straddling him, and with his other hand, found Gavin’s lips, until he was sliding two fingers into his hot mouth.

Gavin groaned and sucked around his fingers as Zach stripped his cock.

He was so close, and then Gavin bit down, just on his fingertips, and his orgasm hit him like a thunderclap, making everything go white and dark as he shot off, all over Gavin’s chest.

“Fuck,” Zach said, trying not to collapse with all his weight onto Gavin’s body. He was a few inches taller and probably forty pounds heavier and he didn’t want to crush him.

“Oh my God,” Gavin exhaled in a shaky voice as Zach barely managed to fall to the side, landing on the bed with a soft thud.

So much for finesse. Zach wanted to feel bad. He knew he should probably apologize for how rough he’d been. But that had been the hottest sex of his whole life, and when he looked over at Gavin, almost afraid of what he might see on his face, he looked equally as floored .

Okay. At least he hadn’t scared him away.

“I . . .uh . . .” Zach tried to make his brain come back online. “Just give me a minute and I’ll clean us up.”

“No rush,” Gavin said, like he was perfectly okay to lie there with jizz all over his chest.

Then he slid a fingertip down through it, swiping through the trails, and made Zach’s brain permanently shut down when he slid it into his mouth, humming with satisfaction the whole time.

“You can’t . . . I can’t,” Zach said, shaking all over. “You’re killing me.”

Gavin’s expression was guileless, and so fucking innocent. “Me?”

Zach couldn’t ask him if he’d been this down and dirty with his wife. She was definitely not a subject he was going to bring up in this bed, considering that she was the reason G had barely made it here at all.

“You know what you’re doing,” Zach said, tracing the bulge of Gavin’s bicep with his fingertip.

“Guess I do,” Gavin said. He huffed out a slightly embarrassed breath. “Not with anything else, though.”

“No?”

Gavin flushed again. “I . . .I didn’t mean to do it that way. I just . . .I’d been thinking about it. Thought it might be easier if I wasn’t in my head.”

“Was it?” Zach wasn’t offended. He could only imagine how tough it might have been for Gavin to even consider sleeping with someone else. Even if he wanted to, and clearly he’d wanted to.

“Yeah, it was. But it was . . .” Gavin was bright red now. “Better than I expected.”

Zach nudged him, grinning. “Don’t tell me you thought I’d be shit in bed,” he teased. Gavin had said that he hadn’t wanted to be in his head, and maybe that was something Zach could do for him—not let him fall too deeply into the circle of his own thoughts.

“The opposite, actually.” Gavin’s confession was hushed, reverent. “You’re good at everything, and I knew you’d be good at this. And you were. . .it was fucking incredible.”

Zach’s fingers tightened around his arm, squeezing gently. “For me too, G.” He leaned over and pressed a kiss to his lips, brief but intense.

“I meant it, you know,” Gavin said earnestly. “I fucked it up before. When we kissed . . .I should have handled that differently.”

“Differently how?” Zach knew he should get up and clean them up, but he didn’t think he could move until he heard Gavin’s answer. Maybe he shouldn’t be testing Gavin, but there was a part of him that needed to, because he couldn’t go back again, not after what they’d just done.

Gavin knew exactly what Zach was asking. Are you going to do this tonight and in the morning tell me you regret it? That it’s not happening, all over again?

He picked his words carefully. “I should never have kissed you and then claimed after that nothing had changed. Honestly, I shouldn’t have told you nothing had changed after the night we almost kissed. I freaked out, and that wasn’t fair to you.”

“Was it fair to you?” Zach wanted to know.

Gavin should’ve known that Zach would be like this, because he’d always asked the tough questions. Didn’t let things slide. Went after what he wanted with a single-minded focus Gavin had always admired.

“No, it wasn’t. But that wouldn’t be the first time,” Gavin said wryly. “At least according to my therapist.”

“Well, stop that,” Zach joked, nudging him with his shoulder.

“I’m . . .I’m trying,” Gavin promised.

Zach pulled himself up, but Gavin reached out before he could think it through, held onto his arm. He didn’t want Zach to go, even to the bathroom, until he was sure Zach understood what he was trying to say.

Until Zach believed it.

“Hey,” Gavin continued in a low voice, “I do want to do this again. I want to do this lots of times. And all the other stuff too. The breakfasts and the lunches and the late night tape watching. Falling asleep on you, on my couch. Phone calls every night.”

Zach smiled, eyes crinkling at the corners. “Yeah? Good. Cause I want to, too. But I don’t think we’re going to need the late night phone calls, anymore, G.”

He got up and went to the bathroom.

Zach had said something along those lines before they’d had sex. Cute you think you’re going to have any nights alone after this. Gavin’s heart had hiccupped when he’d heard that .

He knew Zach meant it. Zach meant it all, it was obvious from the way he gazed down at Gavin, like he was something precious and special that was worth waiting for.

And he wanted Zach to know the reverse was true, too.

He wasn’t letting Zach go. Not this time.

A minute later, Zach returned with a damp washcloth, but he didn’t hand it over. Instead he leaned over Gavin’s body, cleaning his chest and his stomach himself, gently wiping away all the evidence they’d finally done this.

Gavin was almost sad until he realized that maybe that had been the first time, but they had an infinite number after this.

Maybe that was too serious of a thought, but he didn’t know how Zach could think this was casual for him.

After tossing the washcloth in a hamper by the door, Zach resettled in bed, tugging Gavin over until his face was resting against Zach’s bicep.

Gavin curled his fingers into the golden trail of hair leading down to Zach’s soft cock. Saw it twitch a little and felt an echo of heat pulse through him.

But before they went at it again, he still felt like he had things to say. An understanding they needed to come to.

“I’m in this,” Gavin said quietly, “but I can’t say I’m always going to be perfect at it.”

Zach chuckled. “Don’t need you to be perfect. Just need you to be you . That’s all I ever wanted.”

“Since Michigan?”

Zach tensed a little, and then he turned, looking Gavin square in the eye. “If we’re being honest, no.”

“Since I came back to Portland? ”