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Ramsey sighed. “Brody’s brilliant. He could do whatever he wanted. I just thought . . .I just thought he wanted hockey . ”

“More to life than hockey.”

“Coach!” Ramsey made a faux-shocked gasp.

He just shrugged. “We just gotta be here for him.”

“I also think . . .” Ramsey sighed again. “I did something I thought would help him and it would, if he’d get out of his own way.”

“What did you do?” Gavin asked suspiciously.

“Gave him a new roommate. You know Dean Scott? He plays football, is like the star on their defense?”

Gavin nodded. He’d heard of the kid, because Sidney couldn’t spend all of their lunches talking about the hockey team, though he sure tried.

“Well, I thought they’d get along, you know?” Ramsey made a face. “I thought he might loosen Brody up some—they might loosen each other up, if I’m being honest—but all it’s done is make him tense and irritable.”

“For the love of God, Ramsey, stop trying to matchmake everyone,” Gavin said, but he was chuckling.

Ramsey laughed then, too. “I can’t really help it. I just like . . .fixing things. If only they’d get out of their own way.”

“Maybe they still will.” Gavin paused. “Please don’t interfere with Mal and Elliott.”

“But—”

“I mean it, Andresen. They’re . . .it’s a delicate balance.”

“You mean, between wanting to kill each other and fuck each other?” Ramsey asked.

Gavin told himself very firmly not to blush. “That’s not . . . no . I’m just saying, leave them to me.”

Ramsey had the nerve to actually look disappointed. “But Coach—”

“You wanna keep them scoring on the ice?”

“Well, yeah, we all do. They’re a machine out there.”

“Then let me handle it. But you try to talk to Brody, okay?”

Ramsey nodded. “I can do that. Honestly, I just thought they’d fuck and it would loosen him up and that would be it, I didn’t know he’d get all angsty and pine about it. I mean, Dean’s just some big dumb football player.”

“Just like all our big dumb hockey players?”

Ramsey laughed. “Fair.”

Gavin gave him a friendly pat on the back. “Come on, go give Finn some work.”

He watched the rest of practice, trying to keep his mind on what his players were doing.

His conversation with Ramsey had been a good distraction, if not a little terrifying. That kid was going to chess-master their team right out of playoff contention if he wasn’t careful.

But then practice was over. He went to his office because if he let himself go home immediately, he was terrified of what that would mean about him. Dealt with some emails. Watched some film on their upcoming opponent. And none of that was nearly distracting enough .

Picked up a sub sandwich on his way home and picked at it as he watched a movie on the couch.

Jon had set the appointment for a week from now, after Gavin had claimed that he was busy and that he might also need time to work up to what he’d promised.

But well . . .there was no way Gavin was going to need a week. He was already half-hard in his jeans .

He wanted to go to bed. But he also didn’t want to go to bed.

Gavin was in the middle of his mental debate about whether he should talk to Zach before or after when his phone dinged. Zach had texted him.

Talked to Ramsey. He said you already talked to him about Brody.

Gavin fumbled with his phone and dialed.

“Hey,” Zach said. “You already talked to him?”

“It just came up at practice,” Gavin said. “I knew we’d be talking later so I didn’t mention it.”

“You seemed distracted today.”

“You and Ramsey are both worrying too much about me.” Gavin really didn’t want to talk about what was distracting him.

Zach chuckled. “But I like worrying too much about you.”

Zach had never explicitly crossed the line either. They’d never discussed the two aborted kisses—and whether or not he’d have returned them.

But Zach also was making it clear enough, in a hundred little ways, that he’d definitely be into it.

Gavin’s hand trembled around the phone.

“I’m fine,” Gavin said. “Did Ramsey tell you the bullshit he tried?”

“With Brody and his roommate? Yeah, I yelled at him a bit. I don’t care if he thought Brody needed shaking up or some kind of sexual revolution or whatever. He’s messing with shit he shouldn’t be messing with.”

“Agreed,” Gavin said.

“Brody’ll be fine. And as for him not loving hockey the way he did before the injury? It’ll either come back or it won’t. Or he’ll end up like . . .” Zach didn’t finish the sentence, but he didn’t need to.

“Like you?”

“Yeah,” Zach said. “And that’s okay, too. I’m happy. I told Ramsey that. Brody needs to do what makes him happy.”

“Imagine if the NHL could hear you now. They’d have a heart attack.”

“Probably. Only one way to do hockey, right?” Zach sighed. “It’s such bullshit.”

“He’s got time. I’m definitely not kicking him off the team if he doesn’t want to go pro. He’s too good of a player.”

“Never thought you would.” Zach’s voice was low, intimate.

It already felt like Zach was slumped next to him on the couch—or even worse. Like they were already in bed together. Stripped naked, or close enough that they would be soon. Anticipation and apprehension warred inside Gavin.

Jon hadn’t told him to do this a bunch of times, but he knew once he let the dam break, he wasn’t going to be able to hold back.

He was going to want it all the time; he was going to do it all the time.

“It’s only right,” Gavin protested weakly.

“And somehow you’re one of the few who actually believe it. And follow through,” Zach said.

“I’m not some kind of hero,” Gavin argued.

“The fact that you don’t see it means you kinda are.” Zach hesitated. “I was so lucky before, when you were my coach. And I’m even luckier now.”

Gavin didn’t want Zach’s hero worship. He wanted Zach to understand he was just a man, trying to do his best in an uncertain and unfair world.

“Me too, you know?” Gavin had said it before, and he didn’t think he needed to say it again. I wouldn’t want to do this without you.

There was a long quiet moment. Gavin could hear Zach breathing. Imagined he could hear the same. Not an awkward silence, but a comfortable one.

“I have to go work on a paper,” Zach finally said reluctantly.

And I have to go jerk off, thinking about you.

“Hope it goes well. See you tomorrow?” He might’ve suggested breakfast at the diner, but he didn’t know how he’d feel about seeing Zach first thing in the morning after . . .well, after .

He didn’t think he’d want to throw Zach down onto a tabletop at Jimmy’s and kiss him until it seemed like the most natural thing in the world, but you never knew.

Gavin was in uncharted waters these days.

“We should get breakfast,” Zach said.

Gavin should say no. He’d already decided it was a bad idea. But somehow he found himself saying, “Eight? I’ll see you then.”

Zach agreed and then said quietly, intensely, “Good night.”

The moment he tossed the phone down, Gavin knew he wasn’t going to make it to the bed.

He reached down and pressed at his cock, erect and aching.

It was easier than he’d thought it would be to unbutton and unzip and push his jeans down. He palmed himself in his boxers and gasped out loud. It was annoying how right Jon was, because he was desperate and gagging for it, twitching in his palm as he pushed his boxers down next.

It was even easier to turn his head and imagine that Zach was here. Comfort and heat in those soft blue eyes as they stared at him. Acceptance and desire, too.

It’s okay , he could hear Zach say. Do it. Let go. I want you to.

His cock was so wet at the tip he didn’t even need the lube in his drawer. He just slicked it down and let his mind keep wandering.

Zach there, still, eyes intent on him, on his body, on what his hand was doing. Then he reached over and didn’t even touch his dick, just put his palm, hot and steady, on his belly, right above where Gavin was stroking himself, and then slid lower, down to Gavin’s bare thigh. Squeezed.

God, you’re hot , Zach might say. I want you so much. I’ve been waiting for you to want me.

And Gavin wouldn’t hold back. He’d say, I’ve been wanting you too. He imagined leaning over and just letting his lips brush easily across Zach’s. No pressure. No angst. Just pleasure—the two of them floating through it so easy as the kiss deepened, Zach’s tongue brushing against his.

Zach murmuring against his mouth, let me. I want to.

Pleasure was burning in his stomach, mounting in his balls, and it would only take a little bit more to tip him over the edge. Zach’s fingers, tangling with his own, stroking him together, and Gavin shuddered, coming so hard it was a miracle he didn’t fucking pass out.

For a long moment, Gavin didn’t think, he just felt.

How good it had been. How right .

The most natural thing in the world to want to cross that line, and then to just do it.

It would seem almost innocent, except for the cooling stripes of come on his stomach.

Or how much he wanted it still, despite just coming his brains out.