Page 45 of Breaking Sanity (Hell’s Asylum #1)
With no other options, I set up a lunch with Declan, Titus, and Salvator to touch base with them.
I’ll call it pulling a Shadow, since he would prod them for information about her.
They would talk and then next get together it would be the same thing.
He brings her up, they blab. Most of the time I would tune them out, but now I am kicking myself for it.
I tried but given everything it was unsuccessful.
2 months ago
Declan stays quiet as Titus and Salvator start to jest each other about something trivial.
They have been working for us for a couple of years now, but on the cleaner side of things and only on special occasions.
Declan though, left his government job and the military to work more tech and coms for our darker side, including tracking the Fallen.
“You good,” I ask, looking at Declan.
“Yeah,” he sighs, averting his gaze to the T.V. hanging above the bar.
“She was dead the second he found her,” Salvator states.
Sal is a good man and will have your back no matter what, but the way he has referenced Alley makes me want to shoot out his knee caps.
Now, I understand why Shadow went after him one drunken night.
He had been tailing Alley for a solid three months prior to it and Salvator’s wife made a comment in response to her name and Sal laughed.
It set Shadow off and he picked a fight with him just to cover that he was kicking his ass because of Alley.
“Seriously man?” Titus hits his shoulder. “She didn’t deserve that.”
“Never said she fucking did, okay? I am just saying there is nothing to do. She has been gone for months. She is probably already dead,” Sal exhales.
She probably should be dead by now, but they won’t let her die, and I can’t say I will either. Alley is different and feels every emotion more intensely than anyone I have ever met. She tries to run from it when it gets too much though, which is a lot considering how much she lashes out.
Her intelligence is to be admired. Like her roundabout way of saying I love you to us while also saying goodbye nearly broke me.
I wanted to get on my knees and beg her to understand.
She needs to know the truth and why we can’t help her just yet, but I also don’t want to see that pain in her eyes again.
Or hear her heart break in the shower for a third time.
“What is it about her that has all of you hooked,” I ask. None of them know that Shadow and I are at Hell’s Asylum so asking about her is easy. Now if they did, I don’t think this lunch would be happening, and one of them may just pay us to kill her.
Declan is the only one that has seen the pictures and videos of what happens to women once their contracts are up.
The poor guy was sick for three days. To be fair though, the claim just happened to be Carson’s so I will give him a pass.
When you don’t grow up around that or are exposed to it on a daily basis, it’s one hell of a pill to swallow.
Plus, Carson is a different breed of what the actual fuck. Melinda did train him well.
“Alley is just Alley,” Declan says. “No other way to describe her.”
He is not wrong.
“Well, I have kids and a wife to get home to and I don’t want to go down this road again with you two.” Sal gets up to leave.
“You didn’t fight her on staying,” Titus points out to Declan.
“Think I’ll head out too,” Declan says, grabbing his coat and bolting for the door.
“What about you? Going to high tail it out of here too?” I try to make a joke.
“No,” Titus stares into his drink. “I am not scared to admit what I did wrong. I left her there to be taken to the slaughter.”
“You think she’s dead?”
“No, worse she is still alive, and they are breaking what’s left of her, piece by broken piece.
I don’t think her sanity will survive and they will have unleashed decades of pent-up anger and hostility.
No one will control her at that point and the Alley we knew will be gone forever.
Then that is when someone will kill her.
The humane thing would’ve been to snap her neck when I gave her one last hug. ”
“But you didn’t because,” I pry.
“Because the Collector would’ve come after my wife and myself.”
When Killer went with them, he suspected that it was Gunner but wanted to make sure considering that she escaped him. Neither Declan or Titus knew that it was him until they got into the car and were leaving.
“So, you let her be taken and subjected to all of that?” I start to clench and unclench my fist to keep myself from punching him. She loved all of them and they just abandoned her again.
“Yep,” he sighs, “I love my wife, and she means more to me than anything.”
“And you never loved Alley?”
“Not in the way she deserved. None of us gave that to her nor did we want to,” he says, swirling the liquor in his glass before downing it. With that he gets up to leave, patting my shoulder on the way out. I remain seated and watch the TV mindlessly spinning my beer.
They haven’t seen her fight or what she is capable of. They haven’t seen her get mentally tortured and drowned consistently, but I have. She must make it through this in one piece. Because I can’t watch another woman I loved come out of that place in pieces, figuratively and literally.
After that get together, I stayed away from everyone until it was time to come back.
When I did, Alley was in solitary for beating up Melanie, again.
Shadow and I were on guard duty for three days straight and neither of us said a word.
At least not to each other. Alley did babble to us while by the open slot window.
We didn’t respond because of the outside cameras, but she didn’t care.
It seems easier for her to fully express herself when no one can talk back.
She spoke about her mom, Marney, her “mystery men”, and the voices.
It was when she got into her past with her father and exes that I couldn’t take it and started to talk to her.
I kept my voice low but some of the cameras might have picked it up.
Honestly, I didn’t give a shit. Death would be worth it just to make her smile.
She sounded like she started to cry when I finally spoke.
It was a victory and a loss all in one. I have no intention of making her cry but if it is happy tears from her just hearing my voice, fuck it I’ll take the W.
Shadow just stood there clenching his fist and staring straight ahead.
Mother fucker wouldn’t even acknowledge our conversation, despite both of us taking jabs at him.
Props to him but at the same time he can go fuck himself.
He knows as well as I do that pure isolation is the worst you can do to a person, especially to someone like Alley.
She truly cares about people and not being able to see what is going on with the girls she has bonded with is going to drive her mad.
Do I think she can survive? Yes, she can survive in isolation, I mean she cut herself off from the world after everything had happened.
Again, no one can blame her for that, and it took Marney basically dragging her out of her apartment to get her to go out.
Then signing her up on dating apps and such, she was forced to socialize.
It worked for the most part and got her to go to that club.
“Morning,” Alley yawns, stretching. “Let me guess, shower then breakfast?”
“Breakfast is over,” Shadow snips. “Just shower and then go to the day room.”
“Aye Captain.” She mockingly salutes him and heads into the bathroom. Slamming the door shut, letting him know that he pissed her off. They both have short fuses, especially in the morning. Even though I do feel bad for her and I am upset with him, their spats provide a lot of entertainment.
“Fuck,” he exhales removing his mask. He slides the strap down his arm and scrubs his face.
Shadow looks over exhausted, with the deep circles under his eyes and the usual stubble is starting to take on a patchy beard look.
His face looks washed out, making his once olive tan skin look ashy grey, almost ghostly.
I think the first time I saw him like this was when he watched me 24/7 after Emily died. Shadow didn’t leave my side for weeks.
The second was when we first got here. Shadow kept a picture on his back up phone that he had taken of Alley on her knees with her head up.
One of the only ones with her not wearing the blindfold, so you can see her beautiful brown eyes peering up through watery lashes.
She had mascara and eyeliner running down her plump cheeks after having Shadow’s cock down her throat.
She may not have a gag reflex but having something that thick halfway down your throat would make anyone tear up.
Her dark lipstick was smeared and saliva strung down the corner of her lip.
The only part of him you see is his thumb pressing down on her lower lip exposing her teeth.
Seriously, the hottest picture I have ever seen.
He stared at that picture for the first two months, instead of sleeping.
He worried about her constantly and what she was doing.
I think it was more like who she could possibly be doing.
He went over the different scenarios and then Killer had to convince him not to kidnap her and marry her in secret.
Undoubtedly, he probably would have done just that and would have taken it a step further by locking her away until he came back.
By the third month of us being here, a contract was a week away from expiring. That is when we saw first-hand what they did. Being part of The Underground, you see a lot of fucked up shit, but not like this.