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MASON

THE UPSIDE OF HAVING a pool and living with the girl I’m in love with is that I get to see her in a bikini regularly. The downside – not being able to look at her or touch her the way I crave to – is that it’s unbearable at times.

On this specific occasion, I’m able to stare. Zayden is out with some of the team, meeting them for lunch. I was honest with Zayden, telling him I didn’t want to leave Anya alone after everything, but that he should go. He seemed reluctant, but we basically forced him out the door. We both knew he wanted to go. He’s been by her side ever since it happened, and she is doing fine. Or at least she says she is.

Cami and Nora are coming over later today to spend the evening. They’ve been around a few times, having movie marathons, eating junk food, gossiping about anything and everything. I’m glad she’s found good friends. She deserves them, after the last ones she had.

She’s been painting a lot, and every time I’m reminded of how gifted she is. It blows my mind that she didn’t paint much while I was away, since she’s constantly doing it now. She’s incredibly talented, and I hope she does something with it in the future. I wish I had a creative mind like she does.

‘What are you thinking about?’ she asks, dropping beside me and dipping her feet into the water. I exhale, watching the water ripple for a moment.

‘Nothing,’ I reply, my gaze catching hers. ‘Everything.’

The slight breeze blows her dark hair over her eyes. Reaching out, I push it back. My eyes roam her face. Letting my hand fall, I face the water again, my heart beating painfully in my chest.

‘Everything?’ she repeats softly.

‘I’ve, um, decided something.’ My chest constricts, and I curl and uncurl my hands, trying to stop the anxiety from climbing its way up my body like it’s trying to.

Her brows furrow. ‘Okay. What is it?’

‘If you decide you don’t want to pursue this’ – I wave a hand between us – ‘if you don’t want a relationship, then I’m going to move out. Give you some space. I think it would be easier on both of us.’

Shock registers in those pretty eyes of hers. ‘No way. You were here first. If things reach that point, then I will be the one to leave. I’m the one who invaded your space.’

‘You didn’t invade my space.’

‘I sort of did.’

Cheers erupt somewhere in the background. I glance up at the TV, where a re-run of one of our games is playing. Zayden always puts them on to watch and he never remembers to turn the TV off when he leaves a room – or turn off any of the lights. It drives me mad.

‘Either way, I’ve made my decision. It’s on you now.’ I swallow, glancing at her and then away just as quickly. ‘No pressure. Just wanted it to be clear to you that I’m all in. There is no one else for me.’ Running a hand down my face, I scratch my jaw. Turning to face her, I gather her hands in mine. ‘You’re my person. You always have been, and I regret all the shitty things I did in the past. I’m sorry for everything. I love you. I’ve always loved you. I’m ready to do this. If you are.’

A tear slides down her cheek, and I bring her hands to my mouth, pressing my lips to them.

‘Okay?’ I say.

‘Okay.’ She nods.

‘I was so scared of losing you and losing Zayden. My response to what happened and the decisions I made were childish. I was a coward. I’m so sorry, Anya.’

‘I know you are,’ she replies softly.

Letting her go, I get to my feet and help her up. She rolls her lips together, staring down at her feet.

‘Last one inside has to make the other dinner,’ I tease, wanting to break the tense air around us. She launches forward, and I wrap my arms around her waist, yanking her back and throwing her into the pool. I hear a gasp just before she lands with a splash that sprays my legs. Jogging to the back door, I put one foot inside, just for the win, before I run back out and cannonball right next to her, sending a giant wave in her direction.

Spluttering, she releases a laugh and wipes her hair back. Shoving me, she dunks my head under the water.

‘You idiot!’ She shakes her head, a smile curving her lips.

‘An adorable idiot?’ I smirk.

She rolls her eyes. ‘An adorable idiot.’

‘So, what are you going to make me for dinner?’ I question, paddling up to the side of the pool and resting my forearms on the tiles.

‘Tacos,’ she replies.

‘Tacos sound good.’

‘They are your favourite, after all.’

‘Aw, you remembered.’

‘I remember everything,’ she whispers, smiling.

‘Everything?’

‘Everything.’

‘When’s my birthday?’

She scoffs. ‘Give me a hard one.’

‘Okay. Middle name?’

‘I said a hard one!’

As she treads water, I get distracted by her long legs before mentally shaking myself, focusing on the conversation. ‘Hmm. What’s my favourite colour?’

‘Black, and you don’t care that it’s’ – she brings up her fingers for air quotes – ‘a shade, not a colour.’

‘Favourite snack?’

‘Barbecue Shapes sandwich with chocolate in the middle,’ she replies without missing a beat. ‘Which is disgusting , by the way.’

‘Don’t knock it till you try it.’

‘You’ve made me try it. Countless times. Those two snacks are perfect on their own. They’re simply not two things you mix together.’

‘I beg to differ,’ I argue, splashing her, only for her to send a more forceful wave back at me, causing water to slosh over the side.

‘Your second favourite snack is two pieces of bread with salt-and-vinegar chips in the middle.’

I make a kiss sound, pinching my fingers together. ‘It’s delightful. I stand by that.’

‘Strange,’ she mutters. ‘Very strange.’

‘At least I don’t dip my McDonald’s fries into my chocolate shake,’ I shudder, shooting her a repulsed look. ‘That’s just not on.’

‘Excuse me?’ she exclaims, outraged, her brows pinching together as she mock-glares at me, her arms moving slowly through the water as she kicks herself around in slow circles. ‘It’s the perfect blend of salty sweetness.’

‘False. It makes the chips soggy.’

‘Your idea of good taste is seriously warped.’

‘Coming from the girl who stares at the menu for five minutes, tells the waiter she needs more time, only to order a chicken schnitzel every single time.’

‘You can’t beat it!’ she retorts, splashing her arms to further prove her point, making her look extremely cute. In this light, her freckles are prominent, begging me to run my lips over them.

‘There are literally so many different things you could get that are so much better.’

‘Disagree. Strongly .’

‘Do you remember that time we ordered half orange juice, half Coke for Zayden?’

She grins. ‘And I poured half a packet of pepper in it.’

‘He projectile spat across the table, and I saw it land on that woman’s head.’ I laugh, half grimacing, feeling mildly sorry for the poor woman, but also finding it hilarious to remember Zayden’s cheeks reddening as he spluttered and coughed, causing everyone else at the restaurant to send us dirty looks.

‘Got him good that time. What about when he filled your potato with wasabi, and you scooped it all onto that big spoon you used to always eat with and ate it all in one go.’ She’s practically wheezing as she says that last part. Her high-pitched cackle echoes around the patio, and then her infamous snort follows.

I scowl. ‘That was so awful, I can’t even think about it without gagging.’

‘I’ll never forget the look on your face.’

I give her the middle finger, and she snickers. Our laughter dies down, and I push off the wall, laying on my back in the water, floating for a moment, staring up at the cloudless sky.

‘Can we laugh yet?’ I murmur.

‘Hmm?’

‘Can we laugh yet?’

‘About what?’

‘About the whole let’s-just-be-friends conversation we had the last time we were alone in this pool.’

I can practically hear her eyes rolling, and I smirk, turning my head to stare into that pretty face. I feel a pulse of desire clap through me when her gaze darts to my mouth, then back to my eyes. I move towards her, drinking in those long lashes, rosy cheeks and soft red lips. She backs up against the side of the pool, and I stare down at her, placing my arms either side of her, feeling the coolness of her skin.

‘Are you sure this isn’t just physical, Mase?’ she whispers, eyes searching mine. ‘I know you think I’m ridiculous for asking, but you had me, and then you left. You took my virginity, and my heart, and tossed it aside like it was nothing but a box you had to tick off your list.’

My eyes flutter closed, and my heart splinters into a thousand tiny pieces, floating around my chest. I lean forward, pressing my forehead to her temple, inhaling the pure scent of Anya. ‘I am so fucking sorry.’

‘I know,’ she whispers, and I feel the weight of her words like an embrace. ‘I forgive you. We were young and stupid. I know it was only two years ago, but I feel like we’ve both grown a lot since then.’

‘I agree. It still doesn’t change the fact that what I did to you was disgusting and hurtful. You were my best friend, and I fucking ripped out your heart and turned my back on you.’

‘I. Forgive. You.’

‘How can you?’ I ask.

‘Because you’re proving to me over and over again that you’re sorry and this time will be different. I believe you. You’re still my best friend, despite the distance, and the past.’

‘Do you still love me, like I love you?’

‘More,’ she whispers.

‘Impossible.’

She shakes her head. ‘I’ve always loved you more.’

Inching closer to her, my gaze lands heavily on hers. ‘ Impossible .’

I comb my fingers through her hair, and she tilts her head back, staring up at me, a slightly dazed expression on her face. ‘How will we do this?’ she asks. ‘With Zayden?’

‘If he knows we’re all in with this, he’ll support us. In the past, he’s made it clear you deserve better than me. And you do. I’m just the selfish bastard who loves you anyway.’

‘I deserve you, as you deserve me,’ she says. ‘Me and you. Always.’

‘Always.’

‘When should we tell him?’

‘Soon. I can do it one on one, or we can do it together. Whatever you think is best.’

‘Together,’ she says firmly.

‘Okay.’

‘So, this is happening.’ She blinks, looking perplexed. ‘We’re together.’

‘Yeah.’ I nod. ‘Finally.’

‘Finally,’ she agrees with a soft smile.

Capturing her face between my hands, I kiss her. Long and slow, savouring her taste, exploring her mouth. Every time we’ve been together, it’s been a frenzy of touching and kissing in a rush, like we’re about to get caught and time is running out. But now, I know I have all the time in the world.

Anya’s phone rings, startling us, and we break apart, a breathless mess. With one last heated look, she turns, pulling herself out of the pool. I slap my hand against her ass as she does, and she lets out a squeal when my hand smacks against her bare cheek.

‘Hi, Mum,’ she says, still sounding out of breath. She reaches for her towel and awkwardly wraps it around herself one-handed, as she tries to hold her phone to her ear in a way it won’t get wet. ‘What? Slow down.’ She pauses, looking over to me in panic. ‘What? I can’t understand you.’

Paddling over to the steps, I hurry out of the pool and start towelling off, watching Anya’s face as her eyes widen, her hand flying to her mouth.

‘Oh my God ...’ She trails off, and my stomach clenches in worry. ‘Of course. Of course, we’ll go. I’m so sorry, Ma ... I have no words. Send me the details of where I need to go.’

I hear the front door open, stealing my focus. Zayden wanders inside, his hair messy, his sunglasses still on. He pulls them off, hooking them on the front of his shirt. He strolls out to us, raising a brow, sensing Anya’s stress.

She hangs up the phone, all the colour drained from her face. ‘Rod’s been in an accident,’ she whispers. ‘A really bad accident.’

I look at Zayden. His face is impassive as he stares at his sister.

‘Some scaffolding collapsed, and the four men on it were crushed. They’re trying to identify who’s been killed, since there’s no record of who was up there at the time.’

Rod works a few hours away for weeks at a time. I used to love it when it was just Anya, Zayden and their mum at the house. It always seemed so much more relaxed.

‘Is he alive?’ Zayden asks, voice cold and emotionless.

She shakes her head. ‘If it’s him, then no. No one can get a hold of him.’

‘Dental records will tell them who’s who,’ Zayden says, speaking clipped and matter-of-factly, as if he actually knows what the hell he is talking about.

She stares at Zayden, waiting for him to say something, but he doesn’t. ‘They need a family member to identify him, and Mum is still on her cruise. She’s in the middle of the ocean right now. I said we’ll go.’

Zayden’s jaw tenses. ‘No.’

She jerks back like he slapped her. ‘No?’

‘No,’ Zayden repeats. ‘I’m not going.’

Her mouth opens, shuts, and then opens again, but no words come out.

‘Zay,’ I say softly.

‘I’m not going,’ he says firmly, folding his arms across his chest. He stares unflinchingly at me before swinging his hard stare back to Anya.

Her lower lip trembles, and moisture gathers in her eyes. ‘Why the hell not?’ she whispers, looking bewildered.

‘I want nothing to do with him or Mum,’ Zayden says.

‘Whatever is going on between you, don’t you think that can be put aside right now? He may have died .’

‘Good fucking riddance,’ Zayden hisses, turning on his heels and stalking inside.

Anya stomps after him, cheeks red, the colour creeping down her neck. My heart launches into my throat as I follow them, anxiety swirling in my chest – I can see where this is going, and I have no idea how to protect either of them.

‘What the fuck is wrong with you?’ she explodes at her brother’s retreating back.

‘What’s wrong with me?’ he snaps, whirling around and slamming a hand to his chest. ‘Me? What is wrong with him ? What is wrong with her ?’

‘I don’t understand!’ she shouts, tears racing down her cheeks as she stares pleadingly at Zayden. ‘This has been going on for ages, and no one is telling me shit! I have no idea what the hell has happened, and I’m sick of being left in the dark!’

‘He fucking hit me!’ Zayden shouts at her, and she flinches, recoiling, her hand going to the part of her chest where her heart beats. ‘He cheated on Mum. I saw it, I confronted him, and he beat the fuck out of me.’ Her mouth falls open as she stares at him. Running a hand through his hair, Zayden stares at the ground, then back up at her. My heartbeat is loud in my ears as I look between the two of them. ‘He almost fucking killed me.’ Zayden stops, turning to the wall, pressing his hand against it as he struggles to get the words out. ‘He grabbed me, and he ... he ...’ He gasps for breath and leans onto the wall for support. ‘He told me if I breathed a word of it, if I did anything, he would go to you next.’

My head snaps to Zayden; he never told me that part. My eyes shift slowly to Anya, who looks as if she’s just seen a ghost. She sags against the wall, dropping to the floor as she stares up at her brother.

Zayden swallows. ‘He held me down by my throat. The next morning, I told Mum everything.’ He stops, his jaw ticking. The silence in the room is loud and unsettling. Goosebumps prickle uncomfortably against my skin, and my stomach churns. ‘She said that it wasn’t true, and I must have dreamt it.’

Anya’s hands fly to her face, leaving only her wet, wide eyes to stare back at her brother.

‘I showed her the bruises on my fucking neck,’ he continues, voice a mere broken whisper. ‘My face was banged up. I had bruises all down my arm. I told her what he did to me. She said if I ever spread a lie like that again, she would kick me out of the house. I wasn’t a fucking child. She knew I was telling the truth and did nothing .’ He released a sharp, cold bark of laughter. ‘So I saved her the trouble. Never been back there since. Did you notice that whenever he was back from work, I would come home and take you to a friend’s? Convince you to crash somewhere else, anywhere else?’

Anya doesn’t move or speak. She stares numbly ahead, looking frozen in time.

‘You can go,’ he says, running his tongue across his teeth, his face returning to its previous stoic expression. ‘You should go. Someone needs to. But I’m not going with you.’ Pushing off the wall, he starts to walk away, before turning back to look at her. ‘I’m sorry, but I can’t do it.’

Again, her mouth opens, but no words come out. Zayden shrugs and looks coolly down at her.

‘He might have only just died, but he was dead to me long before then.’