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MASON

ANYA PUSHES TO HER feet and combs her fingers through her hair, which has completely fallen out of the bun she had it piled up in on top of her head. Her entire body is shaking as she quickly redoes it and pulls her skirt down. Pupils dilated, her face a stunning peach colour, she moves desperately around, trying to find something.

‘Looking for these?’ I ask, a smug smirk dancing across my lips.

Her eyes zero in on the scrap of white fabric I have clenched in my hand. Her jaw drops open before she manages to neutralise her expression, straightening her spine in an attempt to look me in the eyes, even though she only comes up to my chest.

‘Yes, actually,’ she says curtly, holding out her hand.

‘Nah, I think I’ll keep these.’ I grin, pocketing her underwear and enjoying the reddening of her cheeks. ‘You know, for the memories.’

‘Mason!’ she snaps, eyes wide in panic. ‘Absolutely not.’

‘You can try to get them from me,’ I dare her, smirking.

Letting out a huff, she glares at me, knowing that what I’ve just said is fact. With my height and quick reflexes, there’s no chance of her hands even coming close.

‘Fine,’ she hisses. ‘Keep them.’

‘I will.’

She spends more time than necessary fixing up her outfit, and I can’t help but smirk, enjoying how much I’ve ruffled those perfect little feathers.

‘So,’ I drawl, leaning forward and trapping her against the desk once more. ‘Did you like it?’

Gritting her teeth, she glares somewhere over my shoulder. ‘It wasn’t too bad.’

I let out a low chuckle. ‘You came all over my face, Blush. I think it’s safe to say it was better than “not too bad”.’

‘Oh, God.’ She lets out a high-pitched laugh, covering her face with her hands. ‘I can’t believe we just did that. In our classroom .’

‘Pretty hot, wasn’t it?’

Peering at me through the gaps in her fingers, she eventually lowers them, finally breaking free the playful smile that I love.

‘Yeah. It was.’

I help her gather her things, then we exit wordlessly. I offer to get us both coffees and much to my surprise, the effortlessness between us seems to be back. At least for now. Probably still wrapped up in her post-orgasm high, Anya doesn’t hate me right now and isn’t afraid of letting me in. I’m going to enjoy every moment of it.

I order our coffees, and we make our way to one of the tables. I desperately want to talk to her about us, about what she wants, what I want, but I don’t want to push my luck. For this brief moment, I have her back, and I’m not going to fuck it up. I just need to know that she’s all in, and we can face Zayden’s reaction together as a united front. I don’t want to hurt anyone any more than I already have.

‘Zayden told me you’ve started dancing,’ I say once we’re both seated.

‘Yeah, with Cami and Nora. It’s pretty intense, but it’s fun.’

Thinking about what we just did, and now picturing her in minimal clothing, dancing sensually in a dimly lit room, I have to adjust myself in my pants. Anya sips her coffee and eyes me for a moment, enjoying my obvious discomfort.

‘Something wrong?’ she asks innocently.

‘No,’ I grunt. ‘Just ... enjoying the visual in my head.’

Her smile widens. ‘I see.’

‘You think I might get to see some of your moves one day?’ I can’t help but ask, my blood thickening as the pressure in my body increases.

‘Maybe,’ she replies coyly. ‘If you’re lucky.’

After what happened earlier today with Anya, and now with the intensity of this practice, I feel riled up and on edge.

‘Again!’ Coach Kennedy shouts, bits of spit spraying from his mouth and landing on the poor sucker who managed to stand a little too close. Gav grimaces, but doesn’t dare wipe his face until Coach blows his whistle, turning his back on us.

I sprint hard across the field. When I get to the line, I bend down, touching my hand to it, before propelling myself back in the other direction. My lungs are on fire as I slow down. My feet have barely touched the line when the whistle pierces the crisp air.

‘Again!’ he yells.

‘Who pissed in his cereal this morning?’ Zayden mutters as a collective groan spreads throughout the team.

I don’t have the breath or energy to reply. With my head down, I push forward, knowing that the more we complain, the worse it will get. He’s been especially hard on us this week as the first game is on Friday, and everyone is feeling the tension and nerves.

We have a strong team, since anyone above eighteen can be part of it, meaning Coach can select from all the most powerful and athletic players. We have some in their mid-twenties who are strong and equipped for defence, as well as some younger late teens who are lean and quick on their feet. Half of us – more specifically Zayden and me – fall in the middle of the two groups, possessing a good mixture of both qualities. As strong as some of the players are, the team still needs to improve on working together – knowing where our teammates are and what they are doing. We’ll get there, it’s just going to take a bit of time.

What feels like an eon later, Coach eases on us, letting us spend the final ten minutes passing back and forth. My heart rate finally slows, and the ache in my chest begins to ease. When he finally calls an end to practice, relief ripples through me in warm waves. Zayden and I partner off to start our end-of-practice stretching routine. My eyes sting and my body aches as I try to relieve some of the knots in my muscles.

When we walk into the locker room, everyone is covered in a layer of sweat and dirt. I peel off my shirt and shoot it into my bag like it’s a basketball. Zayden is the first one to beeline towards the showers. He’s barely disappeared around the corner when Andy turns to face Kai, wiggling his eyebrows.

‘Update on banging his sister?’ He grins, and my stomach clenches in an iron fist. Anger circles deep in my gut at the mention of the stupid bet Kai has on sleeping with Anya before the first game.

Kai glances over at me, his notorious smirk smeared across his face. ‘It’s a work in progress.’

Calmly, I gather my towel and other necessities before I head towards the shower. I ram my elbow into Kai on my way past, and he slams back into the metal lockers with a bang that thunders through the room. Everyone glances over as Kai struggles to gain his footing.

‘Watch it,’ I threaten, narrowing my eyes into slits and swinging my glower to Andy. He steps back out of my way as I walk past, not looking back.

My head is still mulling over what happened yesterday when I arrive at the local bookshop. It’s Anya’s favourite place. It stocks all the latest and greatest in fiction, but also has an entire attic full of second-hand books. With a coffee shop tucked around the corner at the back, it makes the perfect place for studying, since the library can get crowded. When I suggested meeting here for a coffee and to study, I thought Anya would either not reply or blow me off, so when she replied instantly, agreeing, I was shocked. Especially after what happened between us yesterday.

I linger at the door, taking in a deep breath and working on keeping my heart rate steady. Growing up with my father, I always experienced anxiety. It’s been ever-present, though growing stronger the older I get, but it’s always been manageable. Since the attack I endured overseas, however, the anxiety has settled deep in my bones, burrowing itself so deep inside me, it’s threatening to take over. I know I should do something about it, seek help, but I don’t want to acknowledge it or give it any more power over me. I’m trying to get better control over it, it’s just harder than I expected it to be.

It’s been a long day: my morning run, classes and gruelling training, but when I see her, the pressure on my chest lifts. Tucked into a corner booth with her legs folded beneath her, she scribbles something down in her notebook, eyes on the textbook in front of her.

It’s dimly-lit inside, and the smell of books washes over me. Candles burn and flicker as I pass, making my way through the gathered groups of people and over to Anya. Sticking her pen behind her ear, she taps on her phone, as if checking the time. Probably because I’m a few minutes late.

‘Hey, Blush,’ I say.

She jerks her head up, not having heard me approach the table. Her dark bangs fall across her face, and she flicks them out of the way. A warm smile lights up her expression and I smile back, relaxing my shoulders when I see that her eyes don’t hold the hostility they have recently.

‘Hi, Mase.’

‘Have you ordered anything yet?’ I ask, shrugging off my bag and sliding it across the leather seat.

She shakes her head. ‘No, I was waiting for you.’

‘I’ll go get it. Do you want your usual?’

‘Yes, please.’

‘Hungry? Want something to share?’ I ask. ‘Do you want me to see if they have those muffins you like?’

Her lips part in surprise. I’ve noticed her bring in a muffin a few times since she’s moved in. I always take note of these things, so I don’t know why she’s shocked. I remember all the little things she likes and all her quirks. We were best friends for years before our relationship developed into something more. Sometimes, I think she’s convinced the crush she had all those years was totally one-sided. I mean, sure, for a while it was, but for an even longer time, it wasn’t.

I like her like this. Soft and casual. Clad in tight yoga pants, a singlet and a cardigan that slips off her shoulder. Her blue-light glasses are perched on her nose and, despite their size, her doe-eyes are not hidden behind them. If anything, they stand out more. My gaze roams her face, taking in her rosy cheeks and the little freckles on her nose. I want to kiss each of them, like I used to.

‘Sure,’ she replies, a little hesitantly. ‘Sounds good.’

I’m all too aware of how date-like this seems, but it has always been this way between us. If anything, I’m glad it’s happening again. It gives me hope that not all has been lost between us.

Making my way over to the counter, I order and lean on it. I sift through the books that are sitting in the trolley, waiting to go to their places on the shelves. I read a little while I was away, but have gotten out of the habit since being back. Grabbing a thriller that piques my interest, I pay for that as well, and by the time I’m putting my wallet away, my order is ready. Returning to the table, I place it down.

‘You bought a book?’

I shrug. ‘Yeah. I want to get back into reading.’

She picks it up, surveying it for a moment, before flipping it to read the blurb on the back. ‘Let me know how it is. I’ll borrow it if you like it.’

‘Sounds good.’

She slides the book back over and I reach for it, our fingers brushing. She quickly yanks her hand away, placing it in her lap, as if she’s afraid if she left it there something disastrous might happen. Like we might hold hands . Smiling, I lean back, slightly enjoying how flustered I make her. She’s been doing a fantastic job of appearing unaffected, but I can see the cracks in her facade appearing, especially since my tongue was inside her yesterday. As if I said my thoughts aloud, her cheeks blush their usual red.

I take a long sip of my coffee, then split the muffin in half. I scoop a piece onto my spoon and take a bite.

‘Good, right?’ She smiles.

‘Delicious,’ I reply. ‘Like you.’

She groans. ‘My God, Mase. You can’t just say things like that with a straight face.’

‘Why not?’ I grin. ‘I enjoy watching you squirm.’

‘Oh, I know you do.’

I pull out my laptop and open it up. Clicking on the latest document I saved, I scan through my notes. They’re riddled with spelling errors and sentences that make zero sense.

‘What?’ Anya asks, noticing the pinched expression on my face.

‘My notes never make any fucking sense,’ I say. ‘I don’t know how we can take notes when they talk and go through the slides so quickly.’ I peer over the top of the screen. ‘You know, you’re freakishly fast at typing.’

‘I’ve had a lot of practice. Turn your AirDrop on, I’ll send you some of my notes.’

‘Oh, thanks. Appreciate that.’

‘No problem.’

Her notes appear on my screen and, of course, they’re much neater and more polished than mine. We work in silence for the next few minutes and soon the coffee is long gone, the plate that held the muffin is empty and my eyes are starting to hurt from staring at the screen. I’ve never been big on studying before, but I’m trying my best to improve in every area of my life that was lacking in the past. Turning up and trying are big priorities. Attending all my football practices is another. Then there’s the other area, the one that’s the most difficult: Proving to Anya that I’m here for her, and I’m not leaving anytime soon.

‘Are you coming to the game on Friday?’ I ask.

‘Of course,’ she answers. Closing her laptop, she rests back against the seat. Pulling her glasses off, she rubs her eyes. ‘I never miss a game, you know that.’

‘Good. Just checking.’

‘You’ll be too focused on the game to notice whether I’m there or not,’ she teases.

‘I always look for you.’

My comment catches her off guard, and she blinks at me. ‘I’ll be there. Wouldn’t miss it for the world.’

Warmth spreads in my chest. I don’t know what it is about her attending my games that gives me some sort of reassurance, but she’s like a confidence boost. Her absence would only distract me and leave me unfocused.

‘I’m going to leave early Saturday morning to head home. Are you coming?’

‘Yeah. Are you staying the night and coming back Sunday?’

‘That’s the plan. Do you know if Rod is going to be there?’ I ask, purposely shifting my gaze to the table as I pack away my things.

‘I believe so, why?’ she asks, looking adorably confused by the question. I never bring up the topic of her stepfather, so it makes sense for her to be thrown by it.

‘Just wondering. Zay suggested getting an Airbnb for the night.’

‘Really?’ she questions, a frown tugging at her lips. ‘Why wouldn’t we just stay with Mum?’

‘Er.’ I shrug. ‘It’s a bit crowded, I guess.’

She looks puzzled for a moment. ‘Um, well, okay then. I suppose, if that’s what you both think.’

‘Might be easier if we’re coming and going, especially if we go out on Saturday night.’

She considers this. ‘Okay. Sure.’

‘I’ll book something cheap and close to town.’

‘Sounds good.’

‘So, how are you dealing with everything?’ I ask, leaning my forearms on the table and clasping my hands together.

She’s quiet for a moment, and I wonder if she is contemplating whether to tell me the truth or not.

‘It’s been difficult,’ she admits. ‘I feel really stupid that I didn’t know it was going on right under my nose.’ Exhaling, she sinks further into the seat, a sad, faraway expression on her face. The urge to wrap my arms around her and protect her from everything is almost overwhelming. If it wasn’t for me and my stupidity, none of this would have happened. If I hadn’t run away, we could have been together. We still would be together.

‘I don’t miss him. I don’t think I was ever really happy with him,’ she continues. ‘But I miss Phoebe. She was my best friend. We did everything together. She helped me through some really hard times, and for her to betray me like this ...’ Tears fill her eyes, and my heart plummets into my stomach at the sight of it. ‘It just really sucks.’

Collecting her delicate hands in mine, I squeeze them. ‘She doesn’t deserve you or your kindness. Neither of them does.’

‘Well,’ she smiles wearily, sniffling, ‘they have each other now.’

‘Birds of a feather.’

‘Yeah.’

‘Have you spoken to her since?’ I ask, running my thumb up and down the curve in her hand.

‘No. I don’t think she can face me, but I also blocked her on everything.’

‘You know, I never really liked her.’

Anya’s eyebrows rise. ‘What? Since when?’

‘Since always.’ I press my lips into a thin line. ‘She made a pass at me once.’

Anya freezes. Her mouth drops open as she stares at me. ‘She what ?’

‘Since you were best friends, she knew about us. About our history.’ I pause. ‘About how you felt.’

Her hands fall into her lap as she stills. ‘You never told me.’

‘I didn’t want to cause any drama. I shut it down, and she never tried anything again. I never would have expected her to do what she did with Dylan, even though I didn’t like her much.’

‘I feel like I didn’t even know her at all,’ Anya whispers, shaking her head and looking perplexed.

‘She was envious of you.’

Anya scoffs. ‘I don’t think so.’

‘It was obvious to everyone but you, Blush.’

‘What on earth would she be jealous of?’

‘Your beauty, your intelligence, everything that you have and she doesn’t.’ I shrug.

‘My relationship with you,’ she murmurs, her gaze connecting with mine.

I nod. ‘And that. Pieces are falling together in your mind, aren’t they?’

Anya pulls her hand back, covering her face. ‘Wow. I must be super self-absorbed to have never noticed any of this. Maybe I’m the problem.’

‘No,’ I assure her. ‘Trust me, you’re not.’

‘Thinking about any of this makes my head hurt,’ she confesses. ‘Tell me some good news. Something positive.’

‘Okay,’ I say, sitting a little straighter. ‘No one knows this. Not even Zay.’

Anya looks at me with growing interest. ‘Okay ...’

‘Coach wants me to be captain. They haven’t replaced Will since he graduated.’

‘Oh my God!’ A smile breaks out across her face, and it’s one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. I love her smile. ‘That’s incredible, Mase. Especially since you just joined.’

‘Well, that’s what I’m concerned about. There are guys on the team that have been around a lot longer than me, and I don’t think they’ll appreciate me swooping in and claiming the title.’

‘Well, it’s not their decision. The coach obviously values your strength – not only as a player, but as a leader. That’s a really amazing achievement, Mase. Forget about what the others might think. This is for you . You’re always the best player on any team you’re on. You deserve this.’

There she is. The girl from my memories. The one who has an unwavering belief in me and my dreams. I always feared that she put me on too high a pedestal, but in moments like this, I truly appreciate her faith in me. Despite everything else that’s happened, that hasn’t changed. The way she is smiling at me right now makes all the worries and concerns I have about the promotion fade away.

‘Thanks, Blush. You’ve just made me feel a lot better about it all.’

‘When are you going to tell Zay?’ she questions, a loose strand of hair falling across her face. My hand twitches with the urge to reach over and push it back, just to have an excuse to get closer to her. She pushes it out of her eyes and leans back before I get a chance to act on the impulse.

‘I don’t know. I wasn’t sure what to do. I hope he isn’t going to be annoyed that I was asked.’

‘He would be happy for you, Mase.’

‘He works so hard. If I turn it down, what if they offer it to him? He would be so happy for the chance.’

Anya’s face softens, and she looks at me as if she’s truly seeing me for the first time in a long time.

‘It’s moments like these that remind me why I fell so hard for you,’ she whispers, and her eyes have a deep, sad look in them that I don’t understand. My heart jerks in my chest at her words. Fell. Past tense. ‘He doesn’t work harder than you; he works hard to be your equal. You challenge him. Honestly, you’re probably the best thing to ever happen to him in that regard. He would be far too complacent if he didn’t have you making him rise to his full potential. He knows this. He would be so happy for you, Mase. He would be shattered that you think that he wouldn’t be.’

Her words hit me hard, and I realise she’s right. Zayden would be happy for me, just like I would be happy for him. When it comes to us, there’s no competition. Sure, we always have a playful rivalry going on, but not when it truly matters. Zayden might not be my blood, but he is family to me, and I’m disappointed in myself for thinking he wouldn’t have my back on this.

‘You’re right.’ I nod. ‘I needed that reminder.’

‘Anytime.’

‘At the risk of ruining everything,’ I blurt, the words tumbling from my lips before I can stop them. ‘In the bathroom the other night you said I don’t know everything. What did you mean by that?’

This time, she’s the one reaching for my hand. She places her fingers over my knuckles, tracing them. My skin is on fire where she touches it. The cool metal of the ring I bought her rubs against my skin, and I glance down at it. I’m glad she didn’t throw it out; I spent weeks saving up for it.

‘It doesn’t change anything now. Don’t worry about it.’

‘I am, though,’ I insist, gripping her hand. ‘I want to know.’

An alarm blaring from her phone startles us both, and she quickly scrambles for it, shutting it off. ‘Gotta go. Dance class.’

Disappointment sinks in my chest. I was so close to getting answers, only for them to be torn away again. I’m desperate to know what she meant.

Anya gets to her feet, collecting her things. Touching my shoulder, she smiles down at me.

‘I had a good time with you this afternoon. See you later.’

Chewing my lip, I spend an insurmountable length of time watching her walk away, feeling as if I’ve been left with far more questions than answers.