Page 17

17

MASON

IT’S A FRIDAY NIGHT and I’m sprawled across the lounge watching reruns of Brooklyn Nine-Nine , a show I’ve seen so many times I can basically recite it word for word. The old Mason would be ashamed of me, wasting a perfectly good evening and chance to be out partying.

‘Mason!’ Zayden whines, throwing the football at me. I backhand it away from my face, and it crashes into the coffee table, knocking over the bottle of water I had sitting on it. ‘Come on, man. I need this.’

Damn it .

We promised each other we would never ditch a night out if the other bro needs it. His smirk inches wider as he notices my glare and into a full-blown grin when I exhale, pushing myself off the lounge.

Going out is the absolute last thing I feel like doing right now, but Zayden is dealing with the loss of his long-term girlfriend, and I want to support him through it. He wouldn’t hesitate to do the same for me.

‘Okay,’ I relent.

Zayden fist-pumps and lets out a whoop. Exhaling, I trail after him towards the stairs.

‘Hang on ...’ Zayden mutters, turning to face me and giving me a narrowed stare. ‘Since when do I have to drag you out? You’re usually the life of the party.’

A muscle jumps in my jaw and I shrug. ‘Just tired.’

‘You sure?’ Zayden asks, his eyes burning holes into the side of my face. ‘Is it your dad?’

‘No, Zayden,’ I say, harsher than I intend to. ‘I don’t want to talk about him. I’m just fucking tired. But you want to go, so let’s go.’

He jerks back at my words, and guilt instantly floods me. Sucking his teeth, he doesn’t say anything as he trudges up the stairs.

‘Sorry,’ I mutter when we reach the hallway. ‘I really am just tired.’

Zayden nods, clapping a hand on my shoulder. ‘We don’t have to go.’

‘No, it’s fine,’ I say, though even my voice lacks any sort of enthusiasm. ‘It’ll be fun.’

Twenty minutes later, our Uber drops us off outside the front of the university bar. Loud music thumps through the door and a security guard stands in front of us, assessing Zayden and me. Once he concludes that we’re not drunk, he waves us through.

It’s busy tonight – so crammed that every table is full, as well as the dance floor. Neon lights dart wildly around the room, and I squint, trying to find a clear path to the bar. Zayden yanks on my elbow, towing me after him as we wade our way through the bodies.

When two fingers pinch my ass, I turn back in surprise to see a leggy blond winking at me. I smile back politely and feel even worse about coming out tonight. Zayden will most likely find a girl to swap spit with, and I’ll be stuck by myself. Usually, I don’t have any issues mingling and letting the night take me wherever it does, but the last thing I want right now is to make idle chitchat.

Zayden orders our drinks. He’s already leaning against the bar talking to a girl when the bartender slides our drinks across to us. Sighing, I take the drink and lean back, surveying the room. It looks like a typical Friday night at a bar dedicated to hosting university students. I used to love these kinds of nights. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

Pulling my phone out from my pocket, I bring up Anya’s number. I casually asked Zayden for it – for emergencies – as she changed her number since I last had it, and she’s removed me from all of her socials.

Mason: Hey. It’s Mason.

After a few moments of staring at the screen, I go against my own never-double-text rule and start typing.

Mason: What are you up to?

A minute goes by. And then another. Frowning, I exit the message thread and pull up the Messenger app, since she forgot to remove me from that. It shows that she’s active, which means she is on her phone, but ignoring me. Excellent. Scowling, I pocket my phone and stare out sourly at the growing crowd.

The door swings open and I glance over. My heart beats sideways in my chest when Anya walks inside, laughing at something one of her friends says. I spy her phone in her hand. My scowl deepens. Cami and Nora are with her, but Kai Adams also appears from behind her, throwing his arm around her shoulder. My teeth grind together so hard my jaw hurts.

She has to be delusional if she thinks Kai Adams is a nice guy.

Looking deliciously sinful in a red dress that fits her like second skin, she lets him walk her towards the bar. Three of Kai’s friends also enter after a moment, making me wonder whether it’s a coincidence they’re all here at the same time. Cami and Nora have drifted off to the side, deep in conversation with the other guys, but Kai hovers close to Anya. Too close.

I’m moving before I realise what I’m doing. She stiffens when she clocks me, and Kai’s smirk widens when he notices my pissed-off expression.

‘Hi there, Mason.’ Kai nods at me.

I don’t even look at him. Instead, I direct my glare at Anya, who looks just about as pleased to see me as I am her.

‘What are you doing here?’ I mean to ask casually, but it comes out like a demand.

‘Having fun,’ she deadpans, upper lip twitching as she fights off a sneer, clearly not appreciating my tone and attitude right now. I wouldn’t either if I were her, but I can’t keep a lid on my self-control when it comes to Anya. ‘Like you.’

‘Trust me, I’m not having fun,’ I mutter bitterly.

‘Well, I am,’ she says, lifting her chin in that new defiant way of hers that makes me miss the old us with every fibre of my being. ‘And friends don’t ruin each other’s nights.’

My hands ball into fists at my sides, and I take a deep breath. Like always, she’s right. Nodding stiffly, I step back. ‘You’re right,’ I say in defeat, unable to meet Kai’s eyes. That cocky smirk he’s wearing will be imprinted on the back of my hand if I do. ‘I guess I’ll see you later.’

Turning my back to her, I stalk off to the bar and slap my hand down. ‘Two shots.’

Zayden nods in approval, his signature grin taking over his face. Reaching for the glasses, I hand one to Zayden and throw back the other. I grimace at the burn that runs down my throat.

My eyes flick over to Anya. Anger surges inside me as she leans back against Kai and his hands rest on her hips.

‘I don’t like that,’ I grunt.

Zayden follows my gaze and blows out a breath. ‘As much as I hate it, she’s old enough now to make her own choices. Even if we both know it’s a mistake.’

I blink, startled. Turning to face him, I give him a deadpan stare. ‘After what she’s just been through, I would’ve thought ...’

Zayden’s hands land heavily on my shoulders. ‘Mase, I appreciate you and how much you care about her, but she isn’t a kid anymore, and if she wants to be out having fun, she can. With whoever she wants. As long as she’s happy, that’s the main thing.’

My mouth falls open. Since when have we done a complete role reversal?

I slide my phone back out and type out a text to her, unable to help myself. Our texts, the games we played, they used to be such a fun part of our relationship.

Mason: What are you doing here with him?

Mason: You’d have a better time with me.

Never taking my eyes off her, I watch as she glances at her phone. The blush that kisses her cheeks is visible across the room. She opens her mouth, looking shocked and, admittedly, a little impressed, before she shifts her face into a stony stare that she swiftly directs at me. I smirk at her, and she narrows her eyes into slits, turning her back to me.

‘Hey!’ a voice says, and Zayden turns and grins.

‘Hey, yourself.’

‘Hi,’ the girl says again when I still haven’t acknowledged her. I wait a beat, collecting myself before I face her.

‘Hey,’ I say distractedly, my eyes bouncing back to Anya, hoping she will reply. We used to always text these kinds of messages, especially in a crowded room like this, when we certainly shouldn’t have. My heart sinks a little when she makes no move to reach for her phone.

‘You wanna buy me a drink?’ the girl asks, her voice low and sultry.

‘He sure does,’ Zayden says when I fail to reply. He claps his hand on my back, making me flinch. I shoot him a narrowed glare, which only makes his smirk widen. He melts into the crowd, and I glower at him as he disappears.

‘I want a screaming orgasm,’ the girl chirps, brushing her arm against mine as she casually leans on the bar. ‘Think you can handle that?’

Heat inches up my neck as I repeat her order to the bartender. Even though I only ordered one, he reappears with two. I hover my phone over the payment machine and once it chimes in approval, I pocket it and hand the girl her drink.

‘Rachel,’ she says. ‘And you?’

‘Mason.’

‘Look at that, both of us have had orgasms and we haven’t even gotten back to your bed yet,’ she says flirtatiously.

I admire her confidence, but my head is a mess, and this means nothing to me. My eyes drift, landing on Anya, who is staring hard back at me. She excuses herself, striding towards the bathrooms.

‘Hey, why don’t you grab us a table, I’ll be right back,’ I tell Rachel, holding out my drink for her to take.

‘Sure thing,’ she replies.

I practically chase Anya down the hallway. I stick my foot in the bathroom door before it slams shut. I grit my teeth, and she whirls around, narrowing those pretty eyes at me.

‘What are you doing?’ she hisses.

Stepping inside, I close the door, thankful that the bathrooms here are private, so no one can overhear us accidentally. The light overhead dims in and out of brightness, and for a moment, I wonder if we’re about to be blanketed in darkness.

‘You look mad.’

‘I’m not mad,’ she retorts with a huff. ‘You were having fun. I’m having fun.’

‘I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be doing this. I just want to spend time with you.’

‘Right. And that’s why you bought that girl a drink.’

‘Trust me, I didn’t have much choice in that situation.’

‘Okay,’ she says, disbelief clear in her tone.

‘Wait,’ I say, folding my arms across my chest, unable to fight the smirk threatening to take over my face. ‘Are you jealous, Blush?’

Two splashes of colour brighten her cheeks. ‘No.’

‘Yes, you are.’

‘If you need to tell yourself that, then fine,’ she argues, running her tongue across her teeth as she stares down at her feet.

‘Why are you here with him?’ I ask, stepping closer to her. Her gaze lifts to meet mine, and I see her throat move as she swallows. ‘With Kai?’

She curves an eyebrow. ‘You’re the one who sounds jealous, Mase.’

‘That’s because I am.’

Her lips part in surprise. Raising my hand, I trace my fingers down the side of her cheek, and I swear I can hear her pulse drumming. Or maybe it’s just mine.

‘Don’t make decisions because you’re angry at me,’ I say. ‘You know your worth. Remember it.’

Her eyes drift closed, and she leans into my palm. My thumb strokes across the soft lips inviting me in for a taste.

‘You need to go,’ she whispers. ‘You have someone waiting for you.’

‘I don’t care.’

She lets out a soft laugh, her warm breath spilling across my thumb. ‘You should care.’

‘Well, I don’t. I only care about you.’

‘Mase ...’ She trails off, shaking her head. ‘This isn’t very “just friends” of you.’

‘You’re kidding yourself if you think we can be just friends.’

‘Mase,’ she says patiently, stepping out of my hold. She circles her small hands around mine, squeezing them. ‘I want you to always be in my life. I have always loved you. But too much has happened. We aren’t destined for anything more. Please ... just leave it be.’

‘Why are you saying this?’ I demand, a strange mix of fear, anger and urgency welling inside my chest. ‘I know what I did was shit. I screwed up. But I’m here now, and I want to make it right.’

‘It’s okay, Mase,’ she says softly. ‘You don’t know everything, and it’s okay. Just ... let me go.’

‘I don’t know everything?’ I echo. ‘What does that mean?’

Yanking her hands from mine, she shakes her head and darts around me. She opens the door and slips out of it so quickly that when I reach for her I grasp empty air. Shoving through the gap in the doorway, I stumble into the hall, where Kai is standing, watching Anya and me with growing interest.

‘I was wondering where you ran off to,’ Kai says to Anya, even though his eyes don’t leave mine. ‘Guess there’s my answer.’

‘It’s not what it looks like,’ she says weakly. ‘I don’t feel well, I’m going to head home. I hope you have a nice night with your friends.’

Kai’s cheek spasms as he finally drags his gaze from me down to Anya.

‘I’ll take you,’ he says.

‘It’s fine,’ I cut in, stepping so close my chest hits Anya’s back. ‘I’m leaving now. I can take her.’

Kai nods slowly. ‘Yeah. Sure. I bet Zayden will love hearing all about that.’

Ignoring his comment, I push around him, and Anya follows closely behind. We are silent as we make our way through the crowded room. Zayden is leaning on the bar, talking to the girl who I bought the drink for. She was probably looking for me, and I feel a little bad about that, but it looks like she is enjoying Zayden’s attention. He won’t even realise I’m gone. Deciding to text him later, I lead Anya out onto the street. The crisp night air washes over me, relieving me momentarily of the anxiety that is swirling in my chest.

‘Wait, do you even have your car here?’ she asks.

‘No,’ I reply. ‘But I didn’t want you going with him.’

She rolls her eyes. ‘How are we getting home?’

I wave my hand, showing her my phone screen. ‘I just ordered an Uber.’

‘You don’t have to leave,’ she says.

‘I want to.’

‘Did you have a lobotomy when you were overseas?’ She raises her eyebrows, looking at me curiously. ‘You’re not the Mason I remember.’

‘That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you,’ I murmur, stepping so close that our hands touch. ‘I’ve changed. For the better.’

Chewing her lip, she stares down at the proximity of our hands, deep in thought. Headlights swing onto the street, and the Uber stops in front of us. Wordlessly, we climb into the car.

The tension between us is simmering as we take the short trip back to our house. My eyes are glued to her bare thighs. She faces away from me, gazing out the window, her knee bouncing up and down. My hand drifts towards her, skating across her shoulder. She shivers as my fingertips drag across her bare skin. Wrapping a dark piece of her hair around my finger, I gently play with it.

‘Mase,’ she whispers, closing her eyes.

I continue my soft caress until the Uber pulls up out the front of our house, when I reluctantly pull my hand away. My skin burns where it made contact with hers.

When we get inside, Anya walks into the kitchen.

‘What are you up to?’ I ask, watching her pull out ingredients for a hot chocolate. Every part of my body begs me to close the distance between us and hold her, but I know I can’t. She isn’t ready for that, and I need to come to terms with the fact that she may not ever be again.

‘Having a drink. Want to join me?’ she asks, her voice surprisingly calm and collected. She seems so unaffected by the tension between us, whereas I feel it in every bone of my body. Was this how she felt all those years? It must have been torture.

‘Sure.’

‘Then I’m going to watch a movie.’

I bite the inside of my cheek. That was something we used to do together all the time. I nod, leaning my elbows onto the kitchen bench as she prepares the drinks.

‘Can I watch it with you?’ I ask.

‘If you want to, but I’m choosing the movie.’

‘Of course.’

‘You’re okay, right?’ she asks softly, pausing for a moment to meet my eyes. ‘Should I be worried?’

‘I’m okay, Blush.’

‘You’d tell me if you weren’t?’ I watch her grip the handle of the jug tightly as she waits for my response.

My eyes are fixed on her. I can’t help but admire her beauty every time I stare at her. It’s as if she grows even more stunning with each day. I’ve always cared deeply for her, but this feels different. Like an unscratchable itch that is burning a hole in my chest.

Even when life was bleak and things were hard, she was always there for me, and I was always there for her. How did it get so screwed up?

‘You’re probably the only person I would tell.’

Her eyes soften, and she offers me a timid smile. ‘Okay.’

‘I’ll make my special hot chocolate for you, if you want to go pick a movie?’ I suggest, feeling the need to occupy my hands before they start wandering towards her. Again.

‘Sure,’ she replies.

As she brushes past me, I get a wave of her sweet perfume, which lingers in the air as she exits. Despite her changing so much over the years, her signature scent has remained the same: jasmine with a hint of vanilla. My heart trips in my chest at the familiarity of it.

Flashes of embracing her, tangling my fingers through her hair as she buries her face into my chest swarm my mind. Now, as I walk into the lounge room, both of us are tense, subtly side-eyeing each other, gauging the other’s reactions. I hate this.

I hand her the mug and collapse onto the lounge, draping a blanket over my legs. I rest my feet up on the coffee table and sip at the hot chocolate I made.

It’s clear from the start that whatever movie she’s chosen, it’s a horror. Grinning, I turn my head to face her.

‘A horror? You’re so sweet. Thank you.’

Rolling her eyes, she smiles. ‘You made me my favourite drink. I put on your favourite genre. It’s only fair.’

‘ Our favourite genre,’ I correct her.

Avoiding my eyes, she takes a generous gulp of her drink. Smiling, I settle back into the lounge, making myself comfortable.

Hopefully this is the start of things getting back to how they used to be.