Page 6 of Bluebird

St. Peter’s Falls was our town’s go-to spot for late night make out sessions. It wasn’t much of a waterfall, merely a trickle of water, but it proved to be romantic enough for the conception of most of Fairleigh’s population.

Once parked, Jake pulled two woollen blankets from the back seat and lined the floor of his van. He opened his back window to prevent our hot breath from fogging up the glass, and motioned me to join him. I hesitantly climbed in and settled into his waiting arms. I shivered as he ran his hand down my arm, triggering him to wrap the remaining blanket around our bodies to protect us from the cool winter breeze.

“So, you haven’t told me much about Melbourne, what’s it like living–”

Before I could finish my sentence, Jake pushed my long waves off my shoulder and began kissing my neck. I sighed into him. I had missed the feeling of his touch. It wasn’t long before his mouth was on mine and his hand was edging up the hem of my dress.

“God, I’ve missed you, Natalie,” he mumbled into my mouth.

I always got to this point and couldn’t go further. “I’ve missed you too…but—”

“Then show me.” His eyes pleaded with mine to say ‘yes’.

I sighed and placed my hand on his chest. “Jake, no. I’m just not—”

“Ready? Yeah, I know,” he bit. “I’ve heard it before.”

My eyes widened at his icy response. “Jake…”

“It’s fine,” he exhaled and proceeded to move away. He jumped out of the van and held out his hand. “Come on, let’s go. I told Leroy I’d make an appearance at his party.”

“Oh…I thought it was just us tonight?” I habitually took his hand to follow.

Jake didn’t register my disappointment. “Yeah, well, I figure if we’re not doing anything then it would be rude not to show up at least.”

I looked away, disheartened. I wanted to be alone with Jake. I wanted to talk. Connect with him. I didn’t want to sleep with him. Not yet anyway. I feared as soon as I did, that would be it for us. Sex, sex, sex. I wasn’t a prude, or waiting for marriage. I just didn’t want to share the fate of the majority of girls from my high school; pregnant too young because there was nothing else to do in this town.

* * *

A short time later we arrived at Leroy’s house. I was tempted to ask Jake to drive me home, but the party was on the way and I didn’t want to piss him off any more than I already had.

As we followed the hum of voices and music, I spotted Luke’s rusty old truck parked out the front and groaned inwardly. That meant Nate was there and the last thing I needed was grief from my brother.

We strolled around the house into the smoke-filled backyard. People were scattered throughout the property, but the majority of guests were gathered around the fire that burnt in the centre of the yard. As I scanned around the alluring fire pit for a vacant tree stump to park myself on for the night, I found Luke. He was playing guitar effortlessly and I was momentarily hypnotised. His eyes grazed mine and he fumbled over his strings.

“Natalie,” Marni hollered, breaking me from his spell.

“Hey, Marns,” I greeted, relieved to see my best friend from school.

Her crimson curls bounced around her face as she approached. “I can’t believe you’re here. You never come to these things.”

Jake sniggered and pulled me into his side. “I made her.”

I clenched my teeth and forced a smile. “Well, I wasn’t doing anything so…”

Marni beamed up at my boyfriend. “Well, thanks for bringing her Jake. This girl is impossible.”

“Tell me about it,” he grumbled, letting me go.

Marni raised her eyebrows, sensing the tension between us. “Well, you guys look like you need a drink.”

“That I do,” Jake replied, and abruptly left to find one.

Marni lived in the next town, so we didn’t see much of each other outside of class. We didn’t have all that much in common, but I persevered in order to have at least one close friend at high school.

I wouldn’t say I was unpopular, quite the opposite really. I had lots of acquaintances, but lacked real friendships. My relationship with Marni was made up of shallow conversations that revolved around school, boys, and fashion. The usual teenage stuff…apparently. It wasn’t easy for me, which was part of the reason I immersed myself in my music.

“Trouble in paradise?” she guessed, stifling a giggle. Marni loved gossip, but I refused to be her source of entertainment.