Page 40 of Bluebird

I noticed something carved into the side of her coffin and stepped closer. I discovered a little bluebird etched into the wood, just like my favourite guitar. Pain surged through my body and consumed my heart.

My glistening eyes drifted to Luke who was standing only a few feet away. He stood there alone, which broke my heart even more. He had no family left. I took a few steps towards him and stopped by his side. I reached out and took his hand in mine, holding it tightly as the final words were spoken. He must have sensed it was me and squeezed my hand without looking my way.

After the ceremony was over, Luke turned to me and took me into his arms in a tight embrace. He nestled his face into my long curls and let out a sob of despair. We remained there, holding each other in silence, until only my family were left.

Luke lifted my chin to face him. “You made it,” he whispered.

“I made it,” I croaked back, my eyes welling with tears.

Luke held me close and tenderly kissed my forehead.

My mother stepped up to us, and we broke apart. Our eyes remained transfixed on each other’s, mirroring the despair we felt.

“Natalie?”

I pulled my eyes away from Luke’s to face my mother who I hadn’t seen since I left town.

I quickly wiped away the first tear that sprouted. “Hi, Mum.”

“Oh, darling,” she sighed and stepped in to hug me.

“I’m going to head back and get everything ready at the house. Will you be joining us, Blue?” Luke asked. He looked so drained.

“I…I can’t. I have to get back…I’m sorry.”

Luke offered a sad smile. “It’s okay. Thanks for coming.” He turned around and left, leaving me standing with my family who I hadn’t seen in five years.

Luke locked the door to his pub and we proceeded to stroll down Main Street at a snail’s pace.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you she was sick,” he confessed, breaking the comfortable silence.

“Luke, I’m sorry I wasn’t here,” I replied, lowering my head. The guilt was crushing.

“Don’t be. You were here in your letters and it meant more to her than anything else, that you were off living your dream.” He turned to me as we walked. “She was so proud of you, Blue.”

I nodded away my tears. I knew he was right, but it didn’t hurt any less.

Luke slid his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his side with a warm smile.

I wrote to Dawn every month, but her reply letters never once alluded to her being gravely ill. I noticed her handwriting change, and guessed Luke must have been writing letters on her behalf. I thought it was due to her deteriorating eyesight and shaky hands, not because she was too sick.

I didn’t mind that Luke read my letters, in fact, I took comfort in it. Some letters ended up being more for him than Dawn. I deliberately wrote stories I knew would make him laugh, but Dawn would scowl at. I tried to convince her to use email, but she refused. There was something special about writing and receiving handwritten letters in the mail, so I didn’t mind. Stefan always made sure they found their way to me.

“Hey, aren’t you supposed to be at some big awards show right now?” Luke dropped his arm and shoved his hands in his pockets.

My mouth dropped and I glanced up at him in surprise. “You keeping tabs on me?”

He blushed and shrugged. “Sometimes.”

“Well…I had somewhere else to be, obviously.”

Luke raised his eyebrows and smirked.

I stopped in my tracks. “What? I couldn’t miss Nate’s birthday.”

“Bullshit.” His eyes challenged mine.

I pressed my lips together. “Alright, yes, I’m supposed to be there, but I just…” My jaw tightened. “I just didn’t want to sit and watch other artists win awards for my songs.”