Page 26 of Bluebird

“Nothing,” I replied, staring out the window into the blackness.

“It doesn’t seem like nothing, Nat.”

I sunk into my seat. What was I supposed to tell him? “I don’t know, we grew up together, so I guess he’s just acting like an overprotective big brother.” But I was honestly just as confused as he was.

Jake glanced over at me. “But he’s not your brother.”

“Tell him that.”

Jake smiled back at me, satisfied with my answer and I felt too physically and emotionally drained to talk about it any further.

We pulled up outside my house and sat in an awkward silence.

Jake spoke first. “So…have you given much thought to what we were talking about the other day?”

“Um…yeah, I have.” I blushed, anticipating the question.

“So, do you think I could take you out sometime?”

I smiled shyly and his face brightened. It was really sweet how much he wanted us to work out. “I guess that would be okay.”

Jake beamed at me and I giggled. I missed affection of the romantic variety. Jake leant in closer and softly placed his hand on my cheek, before pulling me in for a gentle goodnight kiss. I returned his affection in a haze of habit.

A loud bang erupted from the bonnet of his car, and we pulled apart in surprise. I squinted through the foggy windscreen to catch my idiot brother dancing in the headlights, before running off into the house. Jake chuckled at Nate’s effort to frighten us, whilst I watched Luke’s front door slam shut across the road.

* * *

I progressively saw more and more of Jake as the weeks went by. He took me on a few amazing dates, and it wasn’t long before we fell into our old routine. Unfortunately, I saw less and less of Luke. It made it easier to focus on my relationship.

I continued to perform at Easton’s on Fridays, but Luke had since rostered himself off. He now spent those nights cosying up with his new girlfriend, Kate.

Much to my annoyance, Marni knew very little about her. She finished school a couple of years before us, and worked at the bakery. That’s it. There wasn’t one piece of juicy gossip to help steer my opinion of her.

Much to Mum’s displeasure, Luke also stopped coming to our family dinners. With Nate away at university, Luke had become a surrogate son and she enforced the same expectations on him as she did her own children.

My brother was quick to reassure her he was just preoccupied with a ‘certain someone’ and not to be offended. Although upset she hadn’t heard the news from Luke herself, she was thrilled to hear he had finally met a nice girl. The whole situation just made my heart hurt.

Jake still came to my regular gigs at Easton’s, but it was getting increasingly more uncomfortable. He grew bored of watching me perform and took the opportunity to get wasted with his mates. He barely glanced in my direction whilst I sang, but if another guy did, well, that was different. He would fly into a jealous rage, start fights and then accuse me of flirting.

* * *

Between studying for my final exams, and spending time with Jake, I barely touched my guitar. I hadn’t written any new material in almost a month, nor was I inspired to. Luke wasn’t around to encourage me anymore and I was losing hope. I hadn’t applied to any universities and still hadn’t heard back from any of the demos I sent off. I felt so lost, and the one person I wanted to speak to was, well…busy with someone else.

I tried talking to Jake about my future, but he always seemed disinterested.He brushed off my career aspirations like they were nothing, and placed all the importance on his. He was still looking for work and I could sense it was taking its toll. He became distant and edgy, and I couldn’t help but feel like it was all my fault. After all, he moved back to Fairleigh for me.