Page 53 of Bloodbane

CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE

Ashes on the Wind

{ R U B Y }

I turn back when I reach the porch, staring at the spot Evander had disappeared into the forest for a long moment. Grayson, seemingly taking my lingering for regret, wraps an arm around me and pulls me close.

“Are you sure you want to let him go? It’s not too late to separate his head from his body.”

I call dibs.

The bubble of laughter slipping past my lips surprises me, but I don’t fight it. My spirit hasn’t been this light in years, despite the heaviness in my body.

“No. It’s over. It’s really, finally over.”

“You’re not worried he’ll survive?” Cooper’s fingers thrum over the barrel of the shotgun. “Personally, I’d follow the bastard to make sure whatever you fed him does the job, and feed him a few bullets if it doesn’t.”

“He deserves the same chance he gave my parents. He’ll be dead before he makes it far. We’re okay and that’s all that matters.”

Okay may be a bit of an overstatement: coats are ripped and matted with blood, multiple injured legs are tucked to bodies, there are missing patches of fur, toes, and—in Layla’s case—an entire paw, but at least they’re still breathing.

I thread my fingers through Grayson’s and rest my head on his shoulder. I’m exhausted. I could sleep for a week… if that’s a thing I still do. My gaze turns skyward as the first fresh flakes drift down and settle on my cheek.

“Come. Dawn will be breaking soon.”

Grayson tucks me to his side and turns me from the carnage. With Thayne by my side, I allow myself to be led into the house.

“What happens now?”

We tend to the wounded. The bodies will keep.

I’m oddly used to Thayne’s voice sliding through my mind, but the sight of him in wolf form will take some getting used to. Huge is an understatement. He looks like a leftover from the megafauna era. Even on all fours, he’s taller than I am on two. As if reading my mind again, his large head drops to nudge my shoulder before curling up on the floor.

You did good, short stuff.

“I still can’t believe we won. I didn’t think we had a chance. We were so outnumbered.”

“Of course we won. We had a special weapon.” Grayson lowers himself onto the floor in front of Thayne, leaning back into the thick cushion of fur.

“Me?” I tease, pressing a kiss to the top of Thayne’s head before snuggling in beside Grayson.

“I was going to say me, but, sure, let’s go with you instead.” Grayson wraps his arm around me as he closes his eyes, a small smile lifting his cheeks.

“I think we all deserve a portion of the credit,” Cooper adds, coming in from the hallway, Lucky in tow. Gingerly, he lowers himself to the couch, cursing when Lucky jumps onto him and settles himself over now-raised legs. “And I think I deserve the biggest portion given that as the only mere mortal among you, I was at considerably more risk and therefore much braver.”

“Oh, are you still here, Jones?” Grayson asks offhandedly. “I thought you left after you killed Ruby and ruined the carefully laid plans. Thanks for sticking around and not killing anyone else.”

“You don’t really need two boyfriends, do you, Rube? I think we should put it to a vote: which one is better? Loser has to do ten laps of the house at noon.”

Grayson’s husky laugh rolls down my spine like warm honey. I resolve to pull that sound from him every chance I get.

“I wouldn’t push your luck, Coop,” I tease. “You are aware that right now you’re nothing more than a blood bag in best friend’s clothing, yeah?”

Ash pads across the wooden floor, making her way to the couch. She drops down beside it and places her head on Cooper’s chest. He hesitates before lifting a hand and stroking it over her head. Lucky licks Ash’s nose twice, his tail wagging.

“Sorry, pal, I saw her first,” Cooper murmurs, his lips curving up as his eyelids flutter closed.

Layla limps across the room, injured leg curled to her body, and I sober immediately. So caught up in finally freeing myself from my nightmare, I’ve lost sight of the fact that Layla has just been dropped in the middle of her own.

I’m sorry.

I send the thought to Layla, not even sure she can hear me, but she lifts her head and turns to stare at me.

This wasn’t your doing and not your fault, Ruby. I am proud to be part of our pack and to play my part in protecting it, no matter the consequences. Layla drapes herself over her brother and closes her eyes. I would make the same choice again.

Our pack. The words resonate inside me in a way I can’t explain. Gratitude and grief are an oil and water mixture inside my soul.

“You’re a mess.” Grayson’s words are tinged with forced levity as if sensing my dark thoughts. “We should give you a bath,” he continues, making it clear the sentiment is directed at Thayne rather than me, though to be fair, it’s a fitting observation for everyone in the room.

Thayne nips at Grayson’s hand, but otherwise offers no reply.

The room gradually fills with soft, steady breathing—the adrenaline from the fight giving way to exhaustion—and one by one, the spent bodies around me surrender to sleep. But just like at the station, I can sense Grayson’s slumber isn’t what it appears.

“I have questions,” I say quietly, smiling when my hunch proves true and Grayson answers immediately.

“I’m not certain I can satisfy your curiosity. I’ve never turned a lycan before, or half-turned as the case may be. I only attempted it tonight to save your life.”

“I know. Sorry I didn’t thank you before. It was just a lot to take in.”

“Your gratitude is the last thing I expect, Ruby. In truth, your anger and resentment would be easier to accept.”

The admission stuns me into silence. As always, seeming to know the question before I can form it, Grayson continues.

“For what I took from you.” Grayson’s face remains impassive, eyelids still drawn.

“You didn’t take anything from me. Without you, I wouldn’t be here right now. You saved me. Again .”

“I didn’t save you, Ruby, I damned you. I promised myself I would never do it again, but seeing you lying there...” Grayson’s voice turns rough. “You’re the second I’ve infected, and you will be the last.”

The flame-haired woman with emerald eyes flashes in my mind. The memory is shrouded in longing and regret and pain. Somehow, I know she was the first. “Revna.”

Grayson tenses, his eyes opening. “How...”

“With my lycan blood, I can hear Thayne, and I think when you saved me, it gave us some kind of connection as well.”

The shift in the air is palpable as the silence stretches between us.

“Memories live in the blood, but perhaps they can be passed through venom as well,” Grayson murmurs. “Revna was my wife. Before.”

The revelation bores into me. A twisting knife. “Where is she?” I whisper the question, unsure I want to know but unable to stop myself.

Grayson lifts one shoulder a fraction before letting it drop. “Ashes on the wind scatter far.”

I tip my face up, wanting to meet Grayson’s gaze, but his eyes remain closed, his face an emotionless mask.

“I’m so sorry.” I should have kept my damned mouth shut.

“I wasn’t there to protect her when the raiders came. I thought I could save her but all I did was damn her. She fought the thirst, but it overwhelmed her. She slaughtered our entire village in a single night—a single hour . The next sunrise was her last. It should have been mine, too.”

The thought of Grayson dying is a hand around my throat, and it takes me time to find my voice.

“I’m starting to think maybe you’re right.”

“About me being a monster?” Grayson prompts.

“No. About your fate stuff.”

“What changed your mind?”

“The car accident was always going to happen, just like you said. The only reason I survived it is because you were there, and the only reason you were there is because you were escaping Arlo’s kin.” I place my palm over the red-tinged skin hidden beneath Grayson’s now-ragged shirt. The burn that had once been a brand. “I know what they did to you—captured, tortured, and experimented on you. If you hadn’t escaped that night, you wouldn’t have been there to save me.”

“If I hadn’t been escaping, your father would never have crashed trying to avoid me. You wouldn’t have needed saving.”

“When I bit Evander, I could see his memories. I saw the flowers, the same ones I found outside the farmhouse. Bloodbane. He poisoned my parents—served death in a cup of tea with a smile and sent them on their way.”

“Ruby…”

“You didn’t kill my parents, and you aren’t a monster, Eirik Grayson. You never were. You’re a good man. One I’m fall—” I falter. I can’t say the words. How can I confess to feeling something I have no memory of experiencing? The words would feel meaningless. All I can do is trust that Grayson and Thayne can sense how much they mean to me. “One I’m extremely fond of.”

Grayson opens his mouth but closes it again. I can tell he’s wrestling with something but I don’t push. Words, whether three or three hundred, can’t convey the passion and tenderness and care that Grayson’s every touch and action has shown me. We sit in comfortable silence for several long moments, watching the moon kiss the horizon.

“I’m falling in love with you, too.”

The declaration is so quiet that I almost miss it.

I let the warmth it brings unfurl in my chest until it spreads through me, prickling at my eyes. So unaccustomed to joy bringing tears, I retreat into the safety of self-deprecation.

“You are, huh? Even though I’m some kind of weird hybrid? A… lycampire?”

Grayson snorts. “If that’s what you want to call yourself, by all means. I think I’ll stick to calling you Ruby. But, yes, I am.”

“You know, I feel stronger and more like myself with you inside me.”

Grayson’s eyebrow quirks up. “Is that so?”

“Not like that ,” I chuckle, swatting at him playfully. “But this… whatever I am now, with parts of you and Thayne inside me, lycan and vampire.” For once, I don’t stumble over the word. “It feels right. Like it’s meant to be.”

“Fate,” Grayson murmurs.

“Fate,” I echo with a yawn, resting my head on Grayson’s shoulder. For once, I’m not afraid to close my eyes and let sleep take me.