Page 34 of Bloodbane
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Begging for Scraps
{ T H A Y N E }
The shifting of the mattress jolts me away from the panic attack taking hold. I turn to see Eirik sliding out from beneath Ruby, ignoring the soft whimper of slumbering protest. He moves off the bed so quickly that by the time I twist to find him standing beside the bed, he has his pants up and is tugging his shirt down.
Careful not to touch Ruby, I roll onto my side and then sit up, dropping my hands into my lap.
“What are you doing? Ruby needs you.”
Eirik shakes his head. “Touch her.”
“What?”
“Put your hand on Ruby.”
I sigh but do as Eirik asks, reaching over to place a hand on Ruby’s thigh. Her skin is still too warm, but the fever seems to have broken. The lead weight in my chest lifts a little. The protein is working; Ruby is an omega. She’s going to be alright.
“She’s not rejecting your touch anymore. You don’t need me.”
I lift my hand from Ruby, staring down at it a moment before I summon the courage to drag my gaze back to Eirik.
“No, but I—” The words fall off my tongue before I can stop them, but I clamp my lips closed just in time. I can’t tell Eirik that I want him to stay. Not least of all because I’m not entirely sure that is what I want.
Liar.
The small voice bites at me. Of course I want Eirik to stay. That’s all I ever wanted. I look down at the sleeping figure nestled amongst the sheets, dark hair fanning out in a beautiful, tangled mess, rosy-tipped breasts rising and falling steadily. Ebony lashes flutter as soft snoring sounds escape Ruby’s barely parted lips.
Eirik had been the only thing I ever wanted… until now.
“Take care of her.”
“You’re leaving? Now?” The twisting in my gut is quick and gripping, the looming departure reopening a familiar wound inside me that has never quite healed. But I set my jaw and train my face blank, unwilling to let Eirik see the damage; I’ve humiliated myself enough today already.
“I can’t stay and…” Eirik turns toward the door but doesn’t make a move toward it. “Help her, Thayne. Do whatever is required to fix her.” He takes three steps forward but pauses in the doorway. “If she—if something goes wrong, call Ruby’s phone, I’ll have it with me.” Without waiting for a reply or giving a backward glance, Eirik disappears from the room.
Self-disgust sours my throat as my heart constricts in my chest. Eirik was always going to leave; what does it matter if it’s sooner rather than later? I’ll survive it, I’ve done it before, and I can do it again; I’m an expert at being rejected by Eirik Grayson at this point. And fuck, I’m stupid for even expecting anything else. Eirik doesn’t give a damn, he’s made that abundantly clear, and yet I still can’t help but fall at his feet like… like a dog, begging for scraps. And isn’t that just perfect? Eirik would have a field day with that.
All at once, the years peel back all my hard-won confidence and control, stripping away the calluses on my heart until I’m small and broken and alone. Again.
But the tenacity that’s threaded through my soul like a steel guiding wire snaps taut, and I push to my knees on the bed, setting my shoulders. I’m not small, not anymore. And I may be broken, but I still have all my pieces, tarnished and tattered as they may be. And most importantly, I’m not alone.
“Thayne?” Ruby’s voice cracks as she reaches for me.
I lean down to sweep my hand over Ruby’s forehead, pushing the damp strands off her face before taking her hand and twining our fingers together. No, I’m not alone, I have Ruby, and Ruby needs me, at least for tonight.
“Shh, it’s okay, sweetheart. I’m here. I’ve got you. Everything’s going to be okay, I promise.”
I run my hand down Ruby’s chest, between her breasts, lingering on the cluster of scars, silently vowing that I will find a way to keep that promise, no matter what it takes.