Page 5 of Bloodbane

CHAPTER FIVE

No Shooting Stars to be Found

{ T H A Y N E }

Gnarled fingers of frozen branches splinter against my skin as I speed through the forest. The screaming in my head rises above the furious pounding in my chest, and earthy tones of evergreen and brown blur together through a haze of white as I charge ahead on instinct, not knowing why , only where and who . The shrieking in my head crests, but the sharp stabbing pain is not mine, merely an echo—a cry for help triggering a response I can’t control.

Panic twists my gut even as it propels me forward, the winter wind freezing the rivulets of sweat running down my spine into icy fingers of dread. The pressure in my head is bordering on unbearable, the screaming pulsing in front of my open eyes like flickering static, but finally, I vault over the fence separating me from the sprawling farmhouse now in sight.

Home.

My feet land hard on the wooden steps as I clear them in two bounds. I shoulder open the heavy door and rush inside, coming to a dead stop three strides clear, eyeing the naked man—bloody and bruised—thrashing on the large kitchen table.

Arlo .

The screaming in the room tears through me, reverberating inside my skull like electronic feedback. I curl my hands into fists, digging blunt nails into my palms, fighting the urge to press them over my ears. I drag my eyes to the redhead beside the table, filling a syringe from a small glass vial.

“What the hell happened?”

“Not a clue. He came stumbling in, raving about an attack, and then collapsed,” Ash offers calmly. She grabs a flailing arm and forces it still long enough to jab the syringe in deep. “From what I can tell, he has a broken nose and a few broken ribs, but nothing that would account for the seizure.”

The injection takes effect almost immediately, and the room falls quiet. So does my mind. The tension in my body breaks with the connection, and I take my first deep breath in what feels like an hour. The lingering adrenaline trembles through my muscles as I move with purpose from the kitchen into the family room.

If Ash notices, she chooses not to comment on it.

I grab the red tartan throw from the overstuffed couch before returning to the table. Guilt burns through me as I spread the blanket over Arlo.

“There’s nothing you could have done.” Ash’s voice is firm. She re-zips the first aid kit before tossing it onto a nearby bench. She fixes me with a knowing look as she leans against the table, folding her arms across her chest. “And you know I’m right.” Perfectly painted red lips tip up at the edges. “As usual.”

Affection blooms inside me before wilting under the harsh glare of reality. “I appreciate the sentiment, but we both know that’s not true. I’m the only one who could have done something.”

“I’m not talking about the link, Thayne, I’m being pragmatic. You can’t beat yourself up because Arlo got himself in trouble. Again . Especially since we both know he probably deserved what he got.”

“ Ash ,” I chide, though I can’t stop the corner of my lips tugging up briefly. “Earned or not, I should have known about the trouble when it happened.”

“Maybe it wasn’t bad enough to trigger a link.” Ash rolls her eyes at my pointed look toward the bloody body on the table. “Okay, fine,” she huffs. “Then maybe he was too far away for you to receive it. Or maybe he was knocked unconscious when it happened. Maybe he was as pickled as a gherkin and his signals got crossed. It could be one of a hundred different things.”

“That’s an awful lot of maybes.” I knead the tight muscles at the back of my neck. A headache always shadows a link, and with the added confusion and frustration, I can already tell this one is going to be one for the books. And for what? An intense surge of fear or pain is enough to trigger a link, and judging by Arlo’s condition, he had to have felt both. Yet the connection had failed. Or I had.

“I know what you’re thinking, and you’re wrong.”

“Nice try, but we both know betas can only trigger links, not receive them.”

Ash scoffs. “I don’t need to read your mind, Tee. Your thoughts are written all over your face.” She comes to stand beside me and nudges a slender arm against my much larger one. “You have the world’s worst poker face. How else do you think I beat your ass at Hold’em every Friday night?” With a low laugh at my answering frown, Ash straightens and moves to stand in front of me, commanding my full attention. “You are a good Alpha, Thayne. I know sometimes you wish you could cut and run, but the pack would be worse off without you. We’d be nothing without you.”

The truth of her words does little to soothe the deep-seated self-doubt and guilt that has festered within me the past few years, now etched so deeply that my soul feels stained with it. Sometimes I wonder if nothing wouldn’t be better. Ash’s loyalty is among her best traits. Too bad leadership isn’t one of mine.

“I appreciate that, Ashes. More than you know. But as Alpha, it’s my responsibility to protect the pack. And this is what happens when I fail. People get hurt.”

“Stop being a martyr. It’s not a good look on you.”

“I’m not. Sometimes, I just wish…”

I can’t find the words; I’m not sure I even know them. What would I wish for if I had the chance? For another life? A normal life? That I could have back what I’d lost? A heaviness settles inside me: too many wishes and no shooting stars to be found.

This life isn’t one I had planned for. After all, how can you plan for something you don’t know exists? The childhood that should have prepared me for this path had been stolen when I’d been thrown away, and I’d grown up alone, scrapping for everything I got, never given anything freely except pain. I learned the hard way that attachment ends in misery, so I’d sworn off love and family and forging bonds. It is better, easier, to be alone.

But life has shown me—many times over—that Fate has plans all her own. Now I’m bound to others in ways I could never have imagined, in ways that terrify me beyond words. Time and circumstance may have widened my shoulders, but I’m not sure they’re strong enough to carry the responsibility of an entire pack on them, not when I have no idea what I’m doing. Learning by trial and error isn’t an option when mistakes can cost lives.

A shuddering gasp from the table drags me from my thoughts.

“ F-fuckin’ fa-fanger! ”

I still at the outburst, watching Arlo fight to full consciousness before looking at Ash uncertainly. “Did he hit his head?”

“Fuck off with that, Smith,” Arlo growls. His voice is hoarse, like whoever had broken his nose had fed him a fistful of gravel. “I’m telling you it was a vamp.”

Ash doesn’t even try to keep the disbelief from her voice. “You want us to believe that a vampire attacked you? Here? In broad daylight? That’s rich, even for you.” She scoffs, then turns to me. “Ten bucks says this is one of those ‘ you should see the other guy ’ situations, and he’s trying to save face.”

“I’m telling you it was a fanger. Showed up outta nowhere, killed Rob and Gage and almost fucking killed me!”

The declaration punches from Arlo’s chest and tears into mine, turning my blood cold. My fingers dig into Arlo’s arm hard enough to draw a wince from the smaller man.

“ Killed ? What the hell are you talking about?”

“We were just fucking around in the clearing. Having a few drinks, a few laughs. The fanged fucker came out of nowhere and attacked us. Ripped Gage’s jaw clean off and snapped Rob’s neck. Broke my damn ribs and nose before I got away.”

Suspicion prickles hot up the back of my neck. Arlo’s story has more holes than the fancy cheese Ash is addicted to.

“How many drinks is a few?”

“You callin’ me a liar?” Arlo struggles to a sitting position. He curses again, reaching for his ribs. “You just don’t wanna sack up and go toe to toe with a bloodsucker, huh?” He pulls the blanket around his waist and pushes off the table.

I reach out automatically when he stumbles, but he knocks my hand away with a growl and starts limping toward the door.

“Where do you think you’re going? Your body needs rest to heal, asshole,” Ash snaps. “I am not dragging your sorry ass to the clinic if you seize again.”

“Fuck you,” Arlo calls over his shoulder before directing his vitriol to me as he clears the doorway. “Big, fearless Alpha,” he sneers. “Yeah, right. If you don’t have the balls to take care of this, I will.”

The barb lands, and my hands curl into fists. The rough texture of denim scrapes over my knuckles, shaking with the effort it takes to keep them by my sides, and not smashing into the already-broken flesh of Arlo’s face. I pull in a slow, deep breath. It takes another three and a full thirty count before I’m sure I won’t throttle the bastard during what comes next.

“ Arlo, stop. ” I growl the order low and deep, my voice filled with Alpha Command.

Squaring my shoulders, I trace Arlo’s path outside to the edge of the porch. He turns to face me.

He’s not the only one.

A dozen sets of eyes are focused in our direction. Either curiosity or the commotion has drawn most of the pack to the farmhouse, and the unabashed interest has heat biting at my skin again. Being the center of attention has never been something I’ve enjoyed. Yet another failing of my position.

I close the distance to Arlo in a single stride, crowding tight into his space. “ You will go to your bed and you will rest. You’ll stay there until I come to check on you. Is that clear?”

Arlo’s eyes flash dangerously before his gaze drops to his feet. His head jerks in assent even though a muscle ticks over his clenched jaw.

“You’re going to let that walking corpse get away with this, aren’t you? Let it kill two of my pack and—”

“ My pack, ” I snap. “I am your pack leader. Your Alpha .” The soft murmuring of the gathered crowd pulls my attention, and for once, I’m glad for the audience. Better to do this just once. “Not all of you are happy with that, I know.” My gaze drifts through the sea of wide eyes staring up at me before returning to Arlo, but the beta’s eyes are still on the ground. “You can either live with it or you can leave. Those are the options. Whatever happened today, I will find out, and when I do, I will decide how to deal with it. No one is to interfere or intervene in this matter. ” The Command in my voice has fourteen heads bowing low in submission. “Is that understood?”

Hushed affirmations ripple through the pack.

Arlo’s agreement is ground out from behind gritted teeth. I can see his desperate desire to bite back, to resist. But as much as he may detest it, he is bound to his designation just as I am to mine. Twitching with visible anger, the beta finally loses the battle to biology, turning on his heel and storming back inside.

The gathering parts like the Red Sea as I stalk down the dirt path leading away from the house. I suspect it’s more from unease than respect—I can’t keep the storm of emotions swirling inside me from pinching my face tight. Guilt and anger bleed out into a muddy mix of regret as I head back to the fence that separates farm from forest. I’m almost to the property line before Ash falls into step beside me.

“Nice speech.”

Ash’s jibes, I’m used to. I shrug. “It was honest.”

The redhead hums thoughtfully. “Speaking of truth, you don’t believe a word that asshole said, right?”

“No,” I answer immediately. It’s not a question of if Arlo is lying, but why? “But something obviously happened, and if there really are casualties, I have to check it out.”

“What do you expect to find? A pile of ash and two bodies?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.” At Ash’s derisive snort, I sigh. “Yeah, okay, probably not. But someone or something did attack him. In the very small chance he’s not talking shit, that means there’s a shadow-walker nearby. And if it’s caught our scent, or followed Arlo back here…” I scrape my hair back from my face, hating what I’m about to do—especially after my display on the porch—but needing to do it all the same. “I know it’s a lot to ask, but could you rally the pack and start what reinforcements you can while I’m gone? We should be prepared, just in case. Don’t worry about my cabin, just focus on bolstering the main house.”

Despite the doubt clouding Ash’s amber eyes, she gives a single, sharp nod. “Consider it done.”

“Thank you. I’ll be as quick as I can. If anything goes sideways, call me.”

Raising a finger to her temple, Ash taps twice and raises an arched brow in silent question.

I huff out a low laugh, gratitude blooming inside me. Ash’s friendship over the years has served not only as an anchor, mooring me when the chaos inside my head spills over, and I find myself lost in a sea of self-doubt, but a silver lining, too, putting a smile on my face even when the storm clouds are closing in.

With a shake of my head, I tap the rectangular shape in my pocket. “The old-fashioned way.”

“You’re no fun,” Ash’s lips twist in a mock pout.

I vault over the fence and start a slow jog to the tree line.

“Just…Tee?” Ash calls after me. “Be careful.”

“Always.”