Page 42 of Bloodbane

CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

The Ripple Effect of Destruction

{ G R A Y S O N }

Fire licks through my veins.

It’s been hours since Ash dragged me into Thayne’s cabin, but I still feel the sun scorching my skin. Each second that ticks by brings with it constant agony. I lift my hand and carefully rub two charred fingers together, finding perverse satisfaction as a layer of skin turns to ash, floating like dust motes in the air. Perhaps that is all it would take—one hard blow to disintegrate me into a cloud of soot and shame.

Still, if faced with the choice again, I wouldn’t hesitate to make the same one. The pain screaming through my body has nothing on the torture of seeing Thayne lying on the ground motionless as the wolves tore him apart, of watching the pristine snow melting into a river of red.

As if reliving the memory himself, Thayne shifts in his sleep on the bed beside me, whimpering. For almost two hours, he’s been unconscious, but the color has started returning to his face, and his breathing has deepened and found a steady rhythm.

He had kept his promise: he’d kept Ruby safe, but I hadn’t been willing to let him sacrifice his own life to do it.

I should have gone to him sooner, shouldn’t have waited: by the time they’d carried Thayne inside, it had almost been too late. He had hardly any blood left for mine to bind to.

Still, I’d lapped at shredded skin with my pierced tongue, knowing it would ease the pain until the healing from my solar-decayed blood and Thayne’s own had time to mend the mangled flesh and gnawed, splintered bones.

Light slices into the room as Ruby peeks out from behind the drawn curtains for the umpteenth time. Agitation and fear flow from her skin, too intense to be contained, turning the air sour. The constant checking is pointless. If another attack comes today, there’ll be no surviving it.

The wolves today weren’t weak like the ones that attacked Ruby on the lake; they’d been almost as strong as those in a natural shift. Though today had been a complete shit show and the element of surprise has been lost, the silver lining is at least putting a small dent in Arlo’s ranks—no, Draven’s ranks.

The room falls dark once more as Ruby releases the curtain and starts pacing again. I want to bring comfort, but my teeth gatekeep the lies. I’m in no position to offer assurance to anyone, not when I’m trapped under the shadow of my own guilt.

Despite protestations to the contrary, the blame for today can be laid squarely on my shoulders. The ripple effect of destruction emanates from me, from consequences of choices set in motion decades ago. If only I hadn’t been there that night, Ruby’s parents would still be alive, and she wouldn’t be some pawn in a twisted game of tug-of-war betwixt two lycans. My eyes drift to Thayne.

Three lycans.

Thayne is falling in love with Ruby. There’s no denying it now. You don’t lay your life on the line for someone you don’t have real feelings for. The confirmation is bittersweet. Knowing the ones I hold most dear have found love in each other is a small comfort, though I can’t deny that envy sharpens the edges.

Despite Thayne’s feelings for Ruby, it’s my name screaming past his lips as he bolts upright into consciousness.

“I’m right here.” The words scrape over my raw throat. “I told you I’d stay.” For now, at least.

Thayne reaches for me but stops himself, letting his hand hover over my damaged face.

“You should have stayed inside.”

“And let you have all the fun?” I try for a smile. I fail.

“You could have died out there.”

“Like you almost did?”

Thayne lifts his wrist to my mouth. “Drink,” he commands. “You saved me. Let me do the same for you.” He presses his wrist against my lips and waits.

The warmth of Thayne’s blood throbs through thin skin. A siren’s song. I can’t resist the lure. The flesh yields without resistance, welcoming me home.

My eyelids fall closed as the thick liquid glides over my tongue. I suck at the wound greedily, coaxing more blood out of Thayne’s body and pulling it into my own. Pleasure borne of the bite lights me up, spiraling down to my gut, and my cock throbs in time with the pulse thrumming against my lips.

“That’s enough.” Thayne guides his arm away even as I fight to pull it closer. “Gotta do this slowly. Remember what happened the first time.”

The instinct to continue feeding rebels against the truth in Thayne’s words. But the fresh blood warming my body douses the wildfire eating through my skin. Reluctantly, I release my grip. The bite marks on Thayne’s arm close quickly without help, and I chase the last rivulets of blood leaking from the shrinking holes, lifting the lingering red stains from Thayne’s skin.

“What happened the first time?” Ruby’s quiet voice drifts out from the darkness.

Thayne twists toward the sound, his tight shoulders relaxing when his gaze finds Ruby lingering by the door. He doesn’t answer, just stares at Ruby as if he’s worried the omega will disappear without his eyes tethering her in place.

Thayne staring at Ruby burns my chest in ways fresh blood cannot heal. After centuries too numerous to count, it’s always strange to happen upon new experiences, and feeling like a third wheel is definitely novel. I don’t care for it.

Dropping my focus to my hands, I watch the burnt flesh finally begin healing, fading to deep red like a macabre sunset. The only traces of black that now remain are the web of lines twisting under my skin: the poison coursing through my veins brought to the surface seeking the light. As if the very thing that brings me unnaturally long life is searching, yearning for death. With more blood or time for my body to use that which I’ve already taken, my skin will turn a flushed pink—the color of Thayne’s cheeks after my teasing—before returning to its usual, pale tone. Only then will the dull ache of my body fully subside.

“The first time I drank from Thayne was almost the last time,” I murmur in the wake of Thayne’s continuing silence. “I almost killed him.”

“And today, I almost did,” Ruby whispers.

“No, you didn’t,” Thayne refutes immediately, shifting on the bed, swinging his legs over the edge. He rubs his thumb over the healed skin of his wrist absently. “Nothing that happened today is your fault, Ruby.”

“What are you talking about? Everything that happened today was my fault. Evander was only here because of me.”

Tension snaps Thayne’s body taut. “Fuck. What happened to Draven? Is everyone else okay?”

“Everyone’s fine,” Ruby soothes, taking a couple of steps toward the bed, palms up as if trying to calm a spooked animal. “Ash and the twins are in the main house, safe. Everything is secured, and we’re going to take shifts to—”

“And Draven? His pack?”

“Grayson stopped the wolves attacking you. Evander had the rest attack while he took off to the edge of the forest. He was scared.” Ruby smiles at that.

I remain quiet, deciding it’s best not to mention that if the bastard hadn’t been caught off guard and had blustered for another ten minutes, no one would be here to have this conversation—Thayne would have bled out into the snow, with me a blanket of ash over him, and Ruby stolen away by Draven.

“They’ll be back,” I mutter. “Draven won’t stop until he has what he came for.” He’d as much as said so before he escaped into the forest, too far away for Ruby to hear.

“Or until we stop him,” Thayne says firmly. “They won’t have the sun advantage again. If they come before moonrise tomorrow, we’ll make a stand inside, hold them off until—Ruby? What’s wrong?”

Ruby hesitates. “What? No, nothing.”

“You smell like lemons when you’re upset.”

“I do not.”

“To me, you do. Talk to me.”

She takes another step toward the bed, wringing her hands, finally finding her voice and the courage to use it.

“It’s just… Do you think, I mean, tomorrow night, I think maybe you should lock me up.”

“What? No!”

My answer is an echo of Thayne’s. “We’re not going to chain you up like a—” A monster.

The thought gives me pause. Isn’t that why I’d drained Ruby’s blood? To stop her turning into a monster. Like Thayne. Like me.

In the moment, I meant it. But I was wrong. I know what real monsters look like, have felt the piercing teeth of their hatred, and the cold, cruel venom of their malice. No, Thayne may share their curse, but his choices keep him a good man. I can see now that he is no more a monster than Ruby is.

“It’s the only way to keep everyone else safe. I couldn’t control myself today. I shouldn’t have gone outside. I don’t… Hell, I don’t remember even moving! I just felt Evander inside my head somehow, and then, I was there, on my knees. I ran to him. I spent half my life trying to escape the asshole and I ran straight to him.” Ruby wraps trembling arms around her body. “I should have stayed put or run in the opposite fucking direction, but I just… I don’t know. It’s like I wasn’t in control of myself, and if that happens tomorrow night—”

In a blink, Thayne is off the bed and towering over Ruby, arms wrapping around her trembling body and pulling her to his chest.

“I’m going to get you both killed!”

Thayne’s brow creases. “What are you talking about?”

“Evander was controlling those wolves today. What if when— if —I change tomorrow night, he can control me, too? What if he can make me attack you, or uses me as bait or—”

“He can’t control you.”

“But you controlled Ash. You made her leave you there alone.”

“That’s different.”

“What if it’s not? I can’t take that chance. I almost lost you today, both of you,” Ruby chokes out thickly. “He said I’m his omega. What if—”

“You’re not his,” Thayne growls.

The way Thayne says the words so resolutely unlocks something in my chest. It’s not jealousy, it’s yearning. I find Thayne’s gaze, and in it, there’s nothing but fierce protectiveness and love. Love for Ruby… and for me.

It washes over me, warm and familiar, soaking into my skin and filling all those hollow places I thought would remain aching and empty forever.

The Thayne-shaped hole carved into my very core the day I turned away finally begins to heal. I’d told myself I’d been saving Thayne by leaving. Protecting him. But how could I better protect him than by remaining at his side? If I hadn’t been here today, Thayne would be dead, and Ruby would be trapped in a fate worse than death. I may have set these events into motion years ago, but allowing those choices to hang around my neck like a noose does nothing to atone for them, only makes me second-guess the choices laid before me now.

The withered husk inside my chest blooms with hope, and the blood—Thayne’s blood—crawling through my veins flows a little quicker. I’d spurned the curse thrust upon me, the cursed gift of time. Before I’d met Thayne and since abandoning him, I’d wandered the earth like a ghost, not living, just existing. Waiting for it all to end. Planning to end it at my own hand. Meeting Ruby and reuniting with Thayne has made me feel once more. Twin sparks of life reigniting my heart, saving me from myself.

Draven’s words ring in my ears. ‘Are you willing to trade your life for his?’

The answer had flowed over my lips without thought. I hadn’t needed to think about it; I’d felt the truth of it in my bones. I would die for Thayne without question or hesitation, just as I would for Ruby… and you don’t lay your life on the line for someone you don’t truly love. The echo of my own thought cements the knowledge I’ve been trying so hard to deny.

I had so adamantly avoided attachment in the decade since Thayne, not willing to inflict that torment on myself or another. I’d fooled myself into thinking my feelings for Ruby were anything other than burgeoning love. It may not yet burn with the same intensity as my feelings for Thayne, developed over years spent together, but it is an ember already growing.

I’m tired of trying to deny it. Tired of trying to resist or extinguish it. Finally, I surrender. I lift my gaze to Ruby, tracing the lines creasing her beautiful face, studying the wide, wet, mismatched eyes and tortured lip caught between pinched teeth.

“No, you’re not his. You’re ours .”