Page 6 of Blake University HBCU Chronicles: Azari & Chozen

“ Y ou had to stay after class for something?” my mama asked.

I smiled, and I could feel it reach my soul.

My smiles had been so fake lately, but every moment with Chozen today made me feel glad to be alive to experience it.

He was showing me that I was important to him already.

How could that be? I was on a high I couldn’t possibly come down from.

A day that started out so rough ended up being one of my best days since the amputation.

When people went out of their way to show you they gave a damn, you couldn’t help but be appreciative.

“One of my classmates took me to lunch, but let me start from the beginning. You know how I was feeling this morning.”

She nodded. “Yeah. I could tell you were in a lot of pain.”

I nodded. “When I got to school, I was dreading having to walk to class. This guy I take a business class with saw me and approached me, asking if I needed help. We only first talked to one another Monday when he picked up my cane for me. I asked him to carry my bag, and Mama, this nigga scooped me up like it was nothing and carried me to class.”

Her eyebrows hiked up in surprise. “He carried you? And you let him?”

I chuckled. “I protested at first, but he wouldn’t put me down. I wasn’t going to fight him and cause him to drop me either, so I succumbed to the help I needed. I broke down crying in front of that man.”

I slowly shook my head as I thought about the moment.

“He kissed my forehead, and we talked for a little while since I was early. Of course, when he picked me up, he felt my leg shift, but somehow already knew about my leg. That lets me know that he’s been paying attention to me.

Anyway. He asked to take me to lunch. I told him I would think about it.

When I got out of class, that man was standing there with a powerchair. ”

She brought her hands to her chest. “Did he not have class?”

“He was there early to work out. His first class wasn’t until nine thirty.”

“How did he get a chair so fast?”

“I’m getting to that, woman.”

She chuckled as I continued. “We have our business class together at eleven and ended up sitting side by side. Before class started, he asked me about lunch, and I agreed. I thought we were going to go somewhere on campus, but he literally begged me to let him take me to STK Steakhouse. I told him I needed to get here to pick up my son, and he assured me that we didn’t have to be there long.

When we got there, the parking lot was empty. ”

“Empty? At what time? They are usually jumping from open to close.”

“Right! It was twelve thirty, right in the middle of the lunch rush. So he helped me out of the car, and we walked in. When the hostess brought us to our table, Noah and his brother, RJ, were waiting on us.”

“Not my baby, Noah! You know I love that man!”

I laughed so hard. My mama used to be all in that man’s business. She was one of Noah’s biggest fans. That was why I was so starstruck. I grew up watching her love that man. His music was fire, so it wasn’t hard to like him.

“Noah and RJ are his cousins, Mama. So, I didn’t want to rush, but at the same time, I knew I had to.”

“Shiiiiid! You would have told me that, me and X would have been on our way to meet yo’ ass!”

“Well, umm, . . . Chozen is really feeling me, but I don’t know about?—”

“Chozen? That nigga name is Chozen?”

I slowly shook my head. “Yes. He said his mama named him that because she said he was chosen for greatness. It’s spelled with a Z though.”

“So what is it that you don’t know about?”

“You know how I feel about relationships and love.”

“This man has already shown you more care than Fabian ever did. You know I’m not lying.

I hated that you were blind to the emotional abuse you were suffering through with that man.

He was never really there for you if you think about the times when you needed help.

The nigga was pathetic. This man is showing you care like you’re already his woman.

I wouldn’t take that lightly if I were you.

I told you that if the right man came along, you would have to eat your words. Hopefully, they taste okay.”

I shoulder bumped her as she laughed. “He’s really sweet.

He’s supposed to call me later. I didn’t shut him out.

I told him about what led me to getting my leg amputated when he asked.

You know that’s usually hard for me. How am I gonna date a man and expect a relationship with him, knowing I have cancer?

When I told him, his eyes widened in surprise but only because he didn’t know I was dealing with so much. The way he handled me didn’t change.”

“That man is going to be your forever. I can feel it, Az.” She grabbed the to-go container from the table and opened it. “I should have known you got some kind of seafood pasta. You were at a whole steakhouse and got pasta.”

She rolled her eyes and closed the container.

I laughed. Honestly, I was glad she didn’t want it, because it was so good.

I couldn’t wait to eat it for dinner along with the eggroll I’d gotten from Chozen’s appetizer plate.

Noticing my baby hadn’t made his way to the front room where we were yet, I asked, “Where is X? Is he napping?”

“No. He went to the store with your daddy. That boy thinks he has to follow his papa wherever he goes. The only way your daddy can leave here without him is if he’s asleep. They had to go to the hardware store. We have a rotten plank of wood in the hallway, and he’s going to replace it.”

I nodded. My daddy was a decent carpenter.

I wished he was a mechanic these days though.

I felt like my car was on its last leg. I couldn’t afford preventative maintenance.

It cost damn near a hundred dollars for an oil change.

It used to be like forty dollars when I first got the car seven years ago.

I couldn’t afford for this car to go down though.

There was no way I could afford a car note.

I could barely pay the bills I had now. If it weren’t for SNAP benefits, I didn’t know how we would afford food these days.

“He’s probably going to try to help him replace the wood.”

My mama chuckled then stood. “Let me go check my meat before I burn it. You had my damn attention for a minute, talking about Noah’s fine ass.”

I slowly shook my head as my phone chimed.

Had I known Xavier was going to leave with Daddy, I wouldn’t have rushed away from Chozen.

We could’ve talked longer and gotten to know one another better.

I felt like I’d known him a long time already though.

He’d taken on his uncle’s last name but kept his mama’s last name as well.

Chozen Amir Long Scott. I knew the particulars, but what I knew I wanted to learn was what made him tick.

He was so sexy, and he was a fool if he thought I didn’t notice his erection when I left today.

I felt like that was why he allowed me to leave so quickly.

He was doing his best not to make me uncomfortable.

If he only knew. The last thing I felt was uncomfortable.

With all the tribulations in my life, the last thing I was worried about was sex.

After today, it was at the forefront of my mind.

His hands sliding down my body when he lowered me to my feet earlier nearly set my ass on fire, despite how emotional I was feeling about his act of kindness.

Checking my messages, I saw it was from him.

I knew it would be, because Fabian never messaged.

He was a fucking deadbeat, and I wished I had chosen someone better to be fruitful with.

A slight smile made its way to my lips as I opened the message.

Just thinking about you. I enjoyed your company today.

I can’t even function at work. Good thing RJ isn’t here.

I chuckled and responded immediately. I was just telling my mama how great my day was. That was because of you. RJ can’t be that bad. I don’t see him as a micromanager. LOL!

I bit my bottom lip, then stood from the couch only to fall back down.

My hips and back were killing me suddenly.

I closed my eyes tightly and started praying.

My eyes popped open, and it was like a ton of bricks fell from the sky and landed right on my head.

The multiple myeloma is getting worse. When I was first diagnosed with it, I read up on symptoms that I’d just brushed off.

One of those symptoms was bone pain, especially in the hips, back, and ribs.

My phone chimed with what I was sure was a response from Chozen, but I couldn’t even look at my phone right now.

All I could think about was my illness. This couldn’t happen at a worser time.

I was just getting started with school again.

I refused to let this shit hinder me. After taking deep breaths, I checked his message.

That nigga ain’t a micromanager, but he would surely be fucking with me about how much I’m feeling you already. It’s done in love though.

I smiled slightly then tried to stand again, only to fall back to the couch.

Maybe that was the pain I was feeling earlier, thinking it was because of my prosthesis.

It could very well be peripheral neuropathy, which was another symptom.

My other leg was hurting, too, but I figured it was only hurting because I was putting even more weight on it to avoid dealing with the pain in the other.

It was amputated right above my knee, taking the nerve endings with it, but it could very well hurt at the site because of the prosthesis.