Page 10 of Blake University HBCU Chronicles: Azari & Chozen

T his week had been slightly rough. Azari was feeling worse and hadn’t made it to class.

I was on my way to her house to pick her up for her doctor’s appointment.

Yesterday, I’d lain in bed with her for hours, holding her in my arms, listening to her silent tears.

My hearing was still on point, even when she wasn’t saying a word.

I could hear her pain, her uncertainty, and her worry.

I wanted to assure her that everything would be fine, but I didn’t want to keep rehashing things I’d already said. It was my job to just be there.

So, because I’d gotten the numbers together for RJ, and JC Architectural Firm had gotten the job, he gave me the week off to be everything I needed to be for Azari.

Besides leaving for class, I was by her side every step of the way.

I’d even spoken to her professors and let them know what was going on.

They were extremely understanding and had emailed her assignments.

Most of the notes were on the Blackboard app.

I just had to make sure she had access to it.

Despite how she was feeling, she was still getting her work done.

She didn’t want to have to withdraw from school all over again.

Her determination to continue made any excuse I had for not wanting to go to class seem ridiculous.

If she could fight through how she was feeling to get her work done, then surely, I could get my work done as well.

Her parents had been keeping her son, but after her appointment today, I would be meeting him for the first time.

I had to pack clothes, then I would be heading to her place to spend the weekend with her.

As I packed, my phone rang. I knew it was someone from the family, because they were the only ones who called.

Most times, I called Azari before she had a chance to call me.

I was quickly noticing that she wasn’t much of a phone person.

She would much rather talk in person. That made sense because she wasn’t a very talkative person.

Quiet moments weren’t as awkward in person as they were over the phone.

Grabbing my cell, I saw it was Aunt Candace. “Hello?”

“Hey, baby. How’s everything?”

“Hey, Aunt Candace. Things are okay. Tough but okay.”

“I understand. I know you have your hands full, but I wanted to make a trip out there to help any way I could, even with Azari and her son. Although we haven’t met, I know things have to be hard on her mother too.”

“That’s sweet, Auntie. I’ll run it by her.”

“I’m coming anyway, because I need to lay eyes on you. I know how private you are. You’ll tell me you’re okay, even when you really aren’t. I’ll be flying out tomorrow morning. If RJ needs me for anything, I can work at the office out there.”

“Okay. What time so I can pick you up?”

“My plane lands at two p.m.”

“A’ight. I’ll be there. Thank you for coming.”

“Anytime, baby. I can hear in your voice what you aren’t saying.”

I remained quiet, not confirming anything.

She was right though. Being strong for Az was taxing.

I was worried about her. Concealing that worry was taking a toll on me.

That was why I hadn’t been staying overnight with her.

I needed to go home to release. Her apartment wasn’t very big, and I didn’t feel comfortable leaving her side other than to go to the bathroom.

I couldn’t risk her seeing me vulnerable.

She had enough to worry about. There was no way I would add to what she was already dealing with.

After packing enough clothes for the weekend, I headed back to my ride.

I’d gone to work out this morning at the gym.

I was tired as hell, but I knew I needed to work off the stress.

I hadn’t worked out all week, because every free moment was spent with Azari.

Before I could get to her place, I stopped at Olive Garden and got her more pasta.

It seemed that was all I could get her to eat.

She could eat a little before we left for her appointment and then eat more for dinner.

Her appointment wasn’t until one, after their lunch break.

I was somewhat nervous, and I was more than sure that she was too.

We didn’t know what the doctor would say or what type of treatment he would recommend.

Multiple myeloma was somewhat different from other cancers.

Chemotherapy wasn’t eminent. It totally depended on the stage she was in and the side effects she was suffering from.

She could possibly have to have a bone marrow transplant if it was severe enough, and even then, she would have to go through chemo before she could have it.

When I got to her apartment complex and had parked, I saw a man standing in the doorway of her unit.

I frowned slightly and grabbed my bag and her food.

The second I got out of the car, I could see her mom glance my way.

Frowning slightly, I made my way across the lot.

When I got close, the man turned and looked at me. He frowned, and my frown only deepened.

Mrs. Justine said, “Hi, Chozen. This is Fabian, Xavier’s father.”

My frown stayed in place as I gave him a head nod. She continued by saying, “Fabian, this is Azari’s boyfriend, Chozen.”

I allowed my frown to dissipate, and a slight smirk formed on my lips.

He seemed to be shocked that Az had a man.

He was the one who wasn’t man enough to help her through this tough season in her life.

The stress of him leaving her could have made things worse for her.

He extended his hand, and I wanted to ignore that nigga, but I hesitantly shook it.

Mrs. Justine allowed him to come inside after me. I had to assume she wasn’t going to let him inside otherwise, since they were still standing outside when I arrived. Breaking the silence, he asked, “How long have y’all known each other?”

I gave the food to Mrs. Justine, then glanced at him and said, “Only a month or so. We’re still new. Excuse me.”

I left him in the front room to go check on Az. Her appointment was in a couple of hours. When I knocked on the door, she said, “Come in.”

I entered the room to find her lying on her side practically covered completely. Approaching her bed, I said, “Hey, baby.”

She pulled the blanket from her shoulders and stretched her arms out to me. I gave her a soft smile and sat next to her, giving her the hug she was requesting. After kissing her head then pecking her lips, I said, “Umm, . . . Fabian is out there.”

She frowned. “What does he want?”

“I don’t know. He was here when I arrived. Your mom didn’t allow him to come inside until after I got here.”

“Yeah. She doesn’t like him. Neither of my parents do.”

“I can imagine. Do you want to talk to him?”

“I guess. That way he can get the hell out of here.”

I smiled. “I bought you some pasta from Olive Garden to eat before we go too.”

“Thank you.”

“A’ight. Let me get him so he can say whatever he came here to say.”

I really didn’t want to give them any privacy, because why, nigga?

His name hadn’t been spoken since I was first getting to know Az.

Other than that, our entire conversations had been about her health and school.

She hated that she was missing so much class.

When I got to the front room, Azari’s mother was in the kitchen, and she looked to be avoiding him. “Az said you can go in there.”

He nodded and stood from where he was seated.

I followed him to her room, because something inside me wouldn’t allow him to be in her space without me.

Fuck their privacy. She was my woman, and it was my job to protect her from fuckery and anything that could potentially stress her the hell out.

I knew it was highly likely that he would do that.

His presence alone probably had her irritated.

When he stepped inside, I followed him in and got Azari’s lunch tray set up across her lap. He was quiet as he stared at her. She was frowning, though, and it was taking everything inside of me to withhold the chuckle that wanted to fall from my lips.

He cleared his throat as he glanced at the bed.

I didn’t know what he was looking at until I glanced too.

Az’s prosthesis wasn’t on, so you could see where her leg stopped under the covers.

I wanted to pop him in the mouth, but instead, I took a deep breath and calmed my nerves.

He had probably never seen her without it on.

There was no need for her to wear it if she was in bed.

“Hey, Azari. I umm, . . . I came to check on you. I saw X last week at the lumber yard with your dad. I told him if it was okay with you, I would pick him up this weekend to spend time with him. He told me you weren’t feeling well.”

She rolled her eyes then stared at him. “Why are you seeking permission to spend time with your son like you’re a stranger? Secondly, I don’t need you checking on me. You’ve never done that, not even when we were together.”

My eyebrows lifted slightly, because I had never heard her sound so aggressive.

Even when she was shooting me down, she did it with a soft voice.

Fabian looked at me as I sat on the bed next to Az and grabbed her hand, rubbing it between mine.

I just wanted to make sure she didn’t get too worked up.

He frowned at her, and I immediately stood again.

I needed to be prepared for if he stepped out of pocket.

“Azari, I didn’t want to just take him without checking with you. I didn’t come here to start confusion. I just wanted to see if you were okay. Despite how and why we broke up, I still care about you and what happens to you.”

“He can go, but as you saw last week, he’s with my dad. I don’t want him to have to constantly be around me while I’m feeling like this. He deserves to be able to be a kid without having to worry about me.”

“Okay. I’ll bring him back Sunday evening. Is there anything you need for X? Is there something I can do to make the load easier?”

She frowned at him again. “You left me because you didn’t want to be with me because you were going to have to take care of me.

Now you’re asking if I need anything extra?

Hell naw. Keep the same energy you had when you left.

I have a real man now. If you’re done, I have an appointment to get ready for. ”

He bit his bottom lip, then turned and left without a word.

I knew he was swallowing the words of venom he probably wanted to spit.

That was why he was biting his lip. I was surprised he didn’t ask to talk to her privately.

After he left, Az’s mother walked into the room with her food. “Jackass,” she said under her breath.

She set the bowl of pasta on the tray along with a bottle of water then left the room. Az didn’t say thank you, so I yelled it out for her. She slid her hand over her face and said, “I’m sorry, Mama. Thank you!”

“You’re welcome, baby!” she yelled back.

They were both irritated by his presence. I liked how she flaunted me in front of him, though, saying she had a real man. That shit had my chest puffed out. I picked up the fork and began feeding her.

“My aunt wants to come spend time out here and help with whatever either of us need. She’ll be here tomorrow. I have to pick her up from the airport. I told her that I didn’t know how you would feel about her being in your space since you didn’t know her, but I would run it by you.”

Az smiled slightly. “She’s the woman that played a part in the man you became. I won’t mind her being in my space. Chozen, you have been nothing short of amazing, and I still don’t understand why you chose me. I’m grateful you did though.”

I leaned over and kissed her lips, not totally understanding why I felt the way I did either, but like her, I was totally grateful for her presence in my life as well.