Page 2

CHAPTER 2

Cami

Me

If I ever get married, I only want you at the dress shopping

Bestie Friend

Oh, come on. You’d want your mom and sister there. Enjoy today. You only get to go wedding dress shopping with your sister once.

Me

You’re right, but who knows maybe we’ll be doing this again

Bestie Friend

With Colette, I think we both know she’s a one and done kind of girl.

Being buried in layers and layers of taffeta, organza, and satin in various shades of white and cream is not how I would typically start my Saturday mornings, but here I am. The tiny bridal boutique I’ve found myself in this morning is making me claustrophobic for more reasons than one. Drowning in wedding dresses is never a state I thought I’d find myself, but thankfully I’m not here for me today.

“Ooo bring that one here, Cam, I love the pearls.” My sister makes grabby hands at the dress that is currently half draped over my arm and right shoulder. She pulls it off of me, thankfully, and hands it to the attendant who is helping us today.

She’s tried on more gowns than I can count and none of them have been “the one” so we’re still looking. I don’t blame her for wanting to get it right, it’s a big deal.

I can’t imagine picking one single dress for the biggest day of your life, but that tracks because I can’t ever seem to love something enough for it to be the one . I usually end up picking the two or three , then switch back and forth between them until I figure out what feels right in the moment.

Shoes, clothes, boys, favorite sodas, coffee order, lunch spot. I can’t ever stick with one thing for too long. It’s my mother’s least favorite trait about me and possibly one of the things I love most about myself. It keeps people guessing.

My best friends, Alana and Charlie, and my job are the only two permanent things in my life that I feel secure in. They keep me grounded. Right now though, Alana is preparing for a business trip to Paris with our coworker, Alex. She’s been so busy that it almost feels like she’s already gone, but we still have a little over a week before she officially leaves.

I’m losing precious hours with my bestie this weekend because my sister and mom insisted I come to Florida to help with wedding planning. My baby sister, Colette, who is twenty years old, is getting married in February and I’ve been roped into helping out. Not that I don’t want to, I love my sister and I’m happy for her, but she’s so young and my parents keep reminding me that I should be the one getting married first, that I need to be settling down. Why can’t I be more like their precious Coco who stayed close to home? It’s just a reminder of how I never lived up to my parents’ expectations for me.

I try to stay in the moment though. These are memories with her I won’t ever get back and I don’t want anything clouding them.

She walks out in a dress that I swear looks like a cupcake. It has a tight bodice and a full skirt that I know I could balance a glass of wine on if I wanted to. The skirt has sparkles all throughout, which remind me of sprinkles, and fabric draping in wide U shapes all around the top of it. I can tell by the look on her face that she hates it.

“Oh, sweetie, just look at you. This one is my pick, I knew it would be beautiful on you.” My mom stands and walks until she’s behind Colette, then pulls her hair back and looks at her through the mirror. “What do you think?”

My mom, Miranda Slate, is the picture of perfection. She’s put together, poised and charming. I love her to death, but she and I have had a tumultuous relationship as I’ve grown up. She’s never been quite satisfied with the way I live my life, and it’s caused tension.

There are a few moments of silence while the attendant watches on from the corner. Colette and I make eye contact in the mirror and I narrow my eyes just slightly, hopefully communicating Don’t censor yourself, this is your wedding and I think I get through to her.

“Um…” She picks at the skirt nervously. “I like it, we can keep it as a maybe while I try on the others.”

My sister, ever the people pleaser. She gets her desired effect though as my mom smiles happily and steps back, allowing the attendant to take her back into the changing room.

We repeat this over and over until finally Colette steps out in the most beautiful dress I’ve ever seen. A dress that, if I was wearing it, might cure my commitment-phobia.

It’s a strapless satin ivory dress and the fabric is bunched just so that it looks like it ties in the middle of her chest. The skirt drapes down from her waist and an overlay flows down around it. The best part, though, are the pearls fixed to the tulle skirt. They rain down around her in an unpredictable, yet even, pattern from her waist to the ground. This dress screams romance and fairytale and it’s absolute perfection for my sister.

The attendant has gathered her hair into a makeshift updo and fasted a pearl clip into it, then added a veil overtop. She looks radiant and the smile on her face reveals what I already know. This is the one.

“Do you like it?” she asks timidly, glancing at me out of the corner of her eye. Of course she checks with everyone else before sharing her opinion. I cut in quickly before my mom can get a word out.

“What do you think about it, Coco?”

She looks at herself in the mirror, her hands brushing reverently over the fabric.

“I love it.” There are tears in her eyes and as soon as I notice them, they appear in mine as well. I stand and walk over to her, enveloping her in a hug. It hits me now that my little sister is getting married. Starting her own life with a partner who isn’t me. We’ve always been close, and I know that won’t change, but adding someone to your life is a huge change.

“I think you look stunning. You have to get it, this is absolutely the one. Derrick is going to freak when he sees you.”

“You think?”

“I know.” I realize I’ve completely forgotten my mom behind me, and I brace as I turn to hear her comments. Where I expect to find a critical eye, I instead find her with tears streaming down her face. She stands and joins us, hugging us both tight.

“You look absolutely beautiful, sweetheart. This dress is perfect.”

I sigh in relief.

After our emotional group hug, Colette gets changed and my mom heads to the front of the store to handle the ordering and payment. We meet her up there and walk out, my sister and I hand in hand.

“Cami, Joan told me her son is looking for a girl. I could set you two up.”

I tense and I think Colette can feel it through my grip. I was waiting all day for this conversation, but I stupidly thought I had made it out of the danger zone. Guess I was wrong.

“That’s nice of you to think of me, Mom, but I’m good. He lives here and I’m in New York, it wouldn’t work.”

“He actually lives in New York, I think she said Scarsdale?”

Scarsdale is one of the wealthiest towns in the country. Not to mention it’s an hour and a half away from where I live.

“Wow, what does Joan’s son do for a living?”

“He’s a lawyer. He’d be a great option for you, honey. He can provide for you and you could bring him to the wedding. It would be so fun to have a date, wouldn’t it?”

My sister squeezes my hand in a show of support. This is probably the hundredth time my mom has pressed me to bring a date to my sister’s wedding and I have told her every single time that I don’t want to, but clearly that isn’t working. She doesn’t let me speak before continuing.

“I just think it would be good for you to settle down. You can’t keep flitting from boy to boy and expect someone to take you seriously. You do all those silly little hobbies and can’t ever seem to stick to one thing. Men don’t see that as an attractive trait, sweetheart, they see it as immature and flighty.”

I take a deep breath, trying not to go off on her. I’ve done it before and it doesn’t help. The sad thing is, she thinks she’s being loving and helpful right now by giving me advice, but it’s anything but. I don’t know why I can’t seem to stick with any one thing or person for longer than a few weeks, but I just can’t. Nothing feels like staying material.

I just want her to stop, and before I can even think about what I’m doing I blurt out an excuse. “I can’t date Joan’s son and I don’t need a date to the wedding because I already have one.”

I feel Colette tense beside me as we approach our car. I turn and she looks at me with wide, confused eyes. I know I’m mirroring her expression, because I have no idea what possessed me to say that but I can’t take it back now.

“You have a boyfriend? Someone you plan to bring to the wedding in three months?”

“Mmhmm,” I say as I climb into the back seat.

“Oh, honey, that is the best news. I can’t wait to meet him.”

I am so screwed.