Page 57

“Mother, I will not have you disparaging Theodore!” Cedric snapped harshly.

Looking contrite, Lady Matlock waved her hand as if to wipe away her former misspeaking. “It is not that I dislike your brother. It is simply…or rather, both of you must admit he is not at all qualified for the position you hold.” Biting her lip, she looked at Cedric in concern.

“That is enough, Mother. Beyond enough. I have told you that your presence in my home is reliant on your ability to be civil to everyone who enters. Servants, guests, and most of all, family. That I have to remind you to be polite to your own son is disgraceful.” Cedric's stare was unyielding, leaving his mother with no hope of getting her own way.

“Barring a horribly, terrible accident, I am not going anywhere, anytime soon. Additionally, I am certain that Theodore can accomplish anything he sets his mind to; he has my complete support. I happen to think he would make an astoundingly amazing earl.”

“I must get myself ready to make calls. I will see you both at the ball tonight.” Lady Cecilla Imogen Matlock got up, her heels clicking against the polished wooden floor as she left the room with her chin lifted high in what Theodore recognized as defiance of her two children.

Cedric stood up and shut the door behind his mother, closing her out of the morning room.

At least with her gone, he could eat his breakfast in peace.

He loaded his plate with a hearty breakfast of ham and eggs and couldn't resist adding a slice of delicious ginger cake.

Taking his plate back to the table, he watched his brother push the food around on his plate.

It was evident Theodore was suffering from some kind of malaise.

Theodore's well-being weighed heavily on him, and it was not a new feeling for Cedric.

He had worried for his younger brother since the day he realized his parents had set him up as a carrier in the regulars.

Most noble families provided a small estate for their second sons.

Not his parents. They told Theodore at the age of twelve that he would join the regulars as soon as he was done with Eton and Cambridge.

Though Theodore seemed accepting of the directive, Cedric had been angry on his behalf.

Though at fifteen, he had no authority to do anything to stop his parents, even if he was a viscount.

It had been a couple of years since Theodore's original injury at Badajoz had brought him home.

The wound to his thigh had festered during his journey back from Spain, and they nearly lost him.

During the extended fever, he could not distinguish reality from his fevered dreams. From what Cedric had heard of Theodore's ramblings, the battle had been a living hell, but it was afterward that tormented his brother.

Apparently, the aftermath of the battle was far worse than the fight itself.

Cedric had worried his brother would never recover from such an experience.

The process was slow, but Theodore had finally healed and could resume his daily activities— civilian activities.

His injury had been severe enough to end his military career.

As a cavalry officer, he had to be able to wield a sword or fire a weapon, and that required expert control over his horse with his legs.

Despite being able to ride again, he lacked the thigh strength and stamina necessary for battle.

Theodore’s future had always revolved around the military, so when that future was taken away, he was left adrift.

Cedric felt relieved at first when his brother seemed to accept the change, but he couldn't shake the feeling that something was off now.

Theodore had gone to Hertfordshire to visit Darcy shortly after his recovery.

In the small town of Meryton, he ended up discovering a new fight to take on.

It had helped for a time. Theodore had been doing fairly well, but recently there was a listlessness about him that Cedric did not like.

“Was your morning walk any help at all?”

Theodore's tired eyes flickered towards his brother, and a grimace crossed his face. “I should have known you would see what she did not. It went as well as it ever does.” He leaned back in his chair, his fork abandoned on the plate, and let out a tired sigh before rubbing his face.

Cedric knew that he had to take a risk and confront the problem.

Letting his brother come to him was clearly not working.

After weeks of waiting, he was disheartened to see that his brother's condition hadn't improved.

“I know you are feeling at a loss to come up with something to do with your life.”

Theodore's eyes widened in shock. He licked his lips before questioning. “How did you know that has been bothering me?”

“I am fairly logical, and I can put pieces together as fast as the next man. You thought you were going to spend the rest of your life at war and now you are not. You have been moping. Moving from one thing to another with no genuine interest since you helped save the Bennet ladies.” Cedric watched the surprise filter across Theodore’s face, and he reveled in the satisfaction of catching his brother off guard.

“Now you are stuck in London trying to help Darcy with the season and the three ladies here for marriage mart events. The events you have been attending lack purpose, leaving you unfocused and dissatisfied.”

Standing up from his spot at the table, Theodore paced.

“I feel like I failed at the mission I had committed to. Despite the hardships of life in the regulars, I found fulfillment knowing that I had a clear purpose and was highly proficient in my duties. Losing my place in the regulars has left me feeling as if the skills I have do not align with the world I am being forced to live in. More than that, I am mooching off all my family members for my support.”

Cedric watched Theodore slow his pacing and waited for him to look at him before continuing.

“Ignoring your statement about mooching off family, because we have had and will continue to have that fight. If you want to make it worth it, find something of significance to do. You helped the Bennet ladies. Look what good you did there. You have always been a knight looking to do good in the world. Find that good that needs to be done.”

“That will be harder to do than one might suppose. London is all style and little substance. It is one dance after another. Even time at the park is spent seeing and being seen.” Returning to his seat at the table, Theodore began eating his breakfast, but his disinterest in the meal was clear.

Looking down at his own plate, Cedric took a bite of his ham.

It was an excellent breakfast, despite his brother's disregard.

“Charities would be a good place to start. There are plenty in London. Beyond that, you can find people in need of help in unexpected places if you are observant. I know it is not the thrill of the battlefield, but there are even people to help at those dances.” Pointing his fork at his brother, Cedric added, “I suppose you will be going to the ball tonight.”

“Of course. Georgiana is my ward. I would not miss her first season if I could help it. You know how badly Darcy does at social engagements,” Theodore grinned, shaking his head at their cousin’s incompetence when it came to social gatherings.

“He will need help, and Bingley is still at his estate with his wife and new baby. Elizabeth will be there, but they will have their hands full between Mary, Catherine, and Georgiana all out.”

“Our poor cousin is quite outnumbered by eligible females.” Cedric couldn’t help but smile, picturing Darcy’s attempts to navigate it all.

With a look of contentment finally on his face, Theodore took a bite of his meal before commenting, “Yes, I know Darcy's mother-in-law would have come if she could, but she is still recovering from the birth of her son.

I can understand her new husband's hesitation in bringing her and the new babe to London. The air is often horrid. It is much better that she and the child stay at his estate in Derbyshire.”

“I am still surprised by the development of Mrs. Hawkins's swift marriage and pregnancy. It progressed so quickly after we learned of the death of Mr. Bennet, too. She seems to be happy, though,” Cedric observed. He remembered meeting his cousin’s mother-in-law shortly before her wedding.

Cedric had never met a woman more unlike his own mother before.

She was all strength and no-nonsense compassion.

It was no wonder her daughters were so unique.

Looking over at his brother, eyebrows raised in clear warning, Theodore said, “She is only seven years older than you, and she was married to a horrible man for far too long. I am glad she was able to find the happiness she deserves.” Then grinning, he asked, “Are you going to the dance as commanded by our lovely mother?”

“Yes, I will be in attendance, but not at her command.” Cedric finished his eggs and took a bite of his ginger cake.

The estate in Wales was finally ready for his mother to move in, should she ever need to, and he felt a sense of relief knowing she would be taken care of.

She received the right to live in the estate for life in her settlement, and he wanted to have all his bases covered once he married.

He would have no wife of his forced to deal with his mother's hostility.

Theo looked at his brother in that penetrating way of his. “Are you finally looking to settle down?”

Playing with his empty teacup, Cedric considered exactly how much to disclose to his younger brother.

“I wanted to make sure that I had somewhere to send mother if she refused to behave.

The estate she received in her jointure is in Wales, but it was so dilapidated that I would never send a cat there.

It's been renovated, and now it's in excellent condition. I have asked our mother to treat others with respect and grace. If she is unable to do so, then she can choose to live elsewhere. I am not a monster. Mother can behave how she wants as long as it is not at the expense of the people I love.” Cedric locked eyes with his brother, silently urging him to realize that he fell into that group of people.

He still regretted his inability to prevent Theodore from being forced into the regulars all those years ago, but he was grateful he now had the chance to help his brother find his way in a world without death and bloodshed.

Catherine looked out the window of the carriage at the shadowy figures going about their business.

Taking deep breaths, she tried to settle her stomach and smoothed out the skirt of her gown.

It was easy to appreciate her evening dress if only for a moment.

Despite its typical debutante white coloring the beautiful imperial crepe overlay made it a pleasure to wear.

Even such a wonderful dress could not completely distract her from her nausea.

If it was simply riding in the carriage that had turned her stomach, she hoped things would improve once they reached their destination.

Though even as she accepted a ginger candy from Mrs. Ansley, tendrils of dread continued to take hold.

They had only just settled into Darcy House a couple of weeks ago and were already on their way to the third ball of the season.

Shortly after coming out, Catherine had quickly realized her distaste for all the social outings that were required.

Her presentation before the queen had gone well enough, though she was glad she would not need to do that again.

Musical evenings were nice enough and she loved visiting the opera or the theater, but she had found that she was not at all a fond of balls.

Of course, she had only been to two other balls before, but she had enjoyed neither.

There was far too much posturing and backhanded compliments that reminded her of her father’s cruel tendencies.

Sucking on the candy, Catherine distracted herself by looking across the carriage at William and Elizabeth.

Despite the responsibilities of Pemberley and caring for a toddler, their love for each other burned just as brightly as when they first fell in love.

Elizabeth was snuggled into William’s side, both of her arms wrapped around one of his.

Leaning up, Elizabeth whispered something to William that made him smile.

Catherine suspected they did not at all mind the carriage’s close quarters because it allowed them to cuddle.

What would it be like to have such a love?

The more eligible men she met, the less likely it seemed that she would ever find it.

So far, the season had only provided the kind of gentlemen she would deem unsuitable.

Maybe the type of man she was looking for did not like balls and eschewed them for other pursuits?

Catherine knew William was not looking forward to the ball either.

He only attended to help support Catherine, Georgiana, and Mary during their seasons, and it made sense that a man with similar character would have other, more interesting pursuits.

At least she would not be alone in her discomfort.

With effort, Catherine would make it through the night.

At least she could look forward to practicing archery later in the week.

Sooner than she was ready for, the carriage stopped and the door opened.

Though Catherine longed to tell them to shut the door and drive her back to Darcy House, she refrained.

Straightening her shoulders and holding her head high, she took the groom's offered hand and descended the steps, ready for whatever the night might bring.