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“Mrs. Cooper, whatever is the matter? I have brought the tea Mother Bennet has mixed for you, but you seem rather ill. Is there anything I can do to help?” Fanny looked down at the woman slumped in the chair, her tired eyes and worn expression eliciting sympathy.

She was positively green, and the way that her clothes seemed to hang on her made Fanny think that she had lost weight.

Mrs. Matilde Cooper did indeed feel horrible, but she tried to be polite.

She liked young Mrs. Bennet despite her poor choice of husband.

All the tenants feared what would happen once old Mr. Bennet died.

Everyone on Longbourn knew that Thomas Bennet was selfish and a mule’s hind end besides.

“You are a dear. I have the kettle on. Would you be so kind to be makin’ me some of that tea? ”

Fanny rushed to the stove and checked the water before preparing the tea things that were there. “Of course. Should I have the apothecary come to see you?” She came over to the table and sat next to Mrs. Cooper while tea was steeping.

“Oh, there is no need for that.” Despite her reassuring words, Mrs. Cooper laid her head on the table, clearly miserable.

Fanny glanced around, taking in the humble furnishings, and realized that the Coopers had far fewer material possessions than she did. “If it is the money, I can help. I cannot bear to see you this ill.”

Mrs. Cooper looked at the young Mrs. Bennet.

At twenty, Matilde knew she was only a few years older than Fanny Bennet, but she felt that there was a great gulf between them in understanding.

“Do not worry, Mrs. Bennet, the tea will put me to rights. I have already talked with the midwife, and she said everything is progressing as it should. It is only that I am ill in the mornings, and when I smell onions for some reason. She said that should pass soon enough. The tea helps a lot, only I ran out.”

Fanny was glad that she was sitting down. She had never considered that Mrs. Cooper might be pregnant. No one had ever told her you got sick when you became with child. Why did people feel it was all right not to tell her things? “You are with child?”

“Yes, and I am ever so excited.” Despite her awful state, Mrs. Cooper’s face lit up with joy.

“After being married to my Johnny for three years, I had almost given up hope. I am more than willing to endure this to be able to see my Johnny hold our child in his arms. He wants to be a father ever so much, and I know he will be a wonderful one.”

The look of adoration on Mrs. Cooper’s face shocked Fanny.

The woman before her truly cherished her husband and was confident of his love for her and the child they were expecting.

Fanny understood then that she had never loved Thomas.

Though she had felt flattered by his attention and words, Thomas had never sparked that confidence or glow in her.

She was sad to realize she simply wanted the attention he could give her.

In that moment, Fanny felt she would give anything to trade places with Mrs. Cooper, to have that kind of love in her life.

Love like that was something to cherish.

Yet she understood it would never be something she could have with Thomas.

Fanny saw to the needs of the house and gave Mrs. Cooper a break while she sipped at her tea and regained some of her usual color.

The whole time her mind was awhirl. She had found happiness in learning her new role, but she had never considered children.

They were sure to come at some point, and her Thomas was in no way similar to Mrs. Cooper’s Johnny.

She was so distracted that she almost did not even notice the beauty of the day as she walked home.

How would she bring up children in a home with that man?

Forget love and adoration—she would be raising a child in a home full of strife.

She was aware that Thomas’s grandparents were protecting her right now.

Who knew how badly he would act once they passed?

The older Mr. Bennet’s health was failing already.

Once she got to Longbourn, she put her things away and saw to the tasks at hand.

She had learned since arriving at Longbourn that it was far better to do something that needed to be done than wallow and worry.

She could always think while her hands were busy.

Finding some yarn, she took up her knitting needles and set to work.

If she started now, she would have a blanket ready for Mrs. Cooper’s baby with plenty of time to spare.

The clacking of the needles seemed to soothe her as her mind wandered.

Knitting kept her mind engaged in counting the stitches on one level but also free to wander on another.

The thought of bringing a child into the world only to suffer under Thomas’s cruelty cut Fanny deeply.

Though she didn’t understand why the idea of a child who didn’t yet exist stirred such a strong reaction.

Maybe it was just that she was more emotional with her courses due?

Fanny shot up in her chair, her knitting project slipping to the floor, as she started counting the days in her mind.

She was more than due to have her courses; she was overdue.

Weeks overdue. Her preoccupation with finding her place in the world had wholly distracted her from some very vital information.

How had she entirely missed that? That maybe baby she had been considering was not a maybe any longer.

The opportunity arose to talk about her concerns the next day when she met with Mother Bennet to go over the budget for the week. “I brought the tea to Mrs. Cooper yesterday. She looked sickly when I arrived, but she improved after she had some tea.”

“Thank you for bringing that to her. I am just not able to get around like I used to.” Catherine suffered from aching in her joints lately, especially as the weather changed.

“She really loves her husband. I could tell even as sick as she was, she had a glow about her when she spoke of him.”

“Yes, it is quite the love match. I am unsure if you have met Johnny Cooper, but he is very much in love with her as well.”

Not knowing how to broach the subject, Fanny decided to simply throw it out there.

After all, no one had ever bothered to tell her the harsh truths of the world, so why should she worry about keeping to polite conversation?

Especially with a woman who she knew loved her like Mother Bennet.

“Their baby will benefit from being raised in a home that radiates warmth and unconditional love. I fear my baby will suffer for the lack of both.”

“Oh my, a baby,” the older woman gasped.

“I had thought it was possible, but I did not want to assume. How are you feeling?” Catherine Bennet had never dreamed of seeing her great-grandchild.

The very thought brought excitement mixed with trepidation.

Childbearing was not without its risks, but it was a woman’s lot in life to undertake the challenge.

“I do not seem to be sick like Mrs. Cooper, which is a blessing. Or is that bad for the baby? It is early times still. Will I get sick later on?” Fanny felt her anxiety building and longed for answers, but only more questions crowded her thoughts.

“I feel like no one ever prepared me for the realities of adult life. What I am is afraid. How can I raise a child in a home with a man like Thomas? Will my love alone be enough?” There were so many things that she did not know.

She even worried that she did not know what to ask. How did she even know what was normal?

“Oh, dear sweet girl, I remember being where you are now. I was once young and petrified, not knowing which way to turn, with a myriad of questions clouding my thoughts.”

“I do hope your husband was better than mine.” The confession tumbled out unbidden, and dread curled in her stomach as she braced for Mother Bennet’s reaction. “I know I should not say that as he is your grandson, but…”

“Yes, I am well aware of his horrible behavior.” She sighed.

“My marriage with Reginald was not a love match. There is much more of that now than when I was a girl. We were virtual strangers when we wed, but I think we formed a friendship after a time. But at the start, I was a na?ve and bewildered young woman away from her family, and soon enough, I was expecting a baby. The sheer number of questions I had overwhelmed me, and I’m sure you have similar ones now.

” Catherine looked at Fanny with fondness and compassion.

In a way, Fanny was the daughter she had always wished for.

She knew she would not have much time with the girl but was determined to help her as much as possible while she could.

“I had never considered that you had been in my place at one time.” The panic that Fanny had been fighting began to recede. She was not alone and just knowing that gave her strength.

“Oh yes, it was some time ago, but I managed. You will too. I think the first question you asked was about being sick like Mrs. Cooper? Some women are ill while they are carrying, but others are not. It does not mean that your baby is unwell. You may very well get nauseous later on in your pregnancy, or not. There is no way of knowing. Although Thomas is not the ideal partner for raising a child, I know you will be able to navigate the situation.”

“But how?” Fanny had barely come to terms with living with the man herself. How was she to protect and raise a defenseless child?

Catherine’s loving smile was contagious, lighting up her whole face.

“You might be astounded by the boundless reach of a mother’s love.

I can tell you already love that babe because you want it to grow up in a safe and loving home.

Now is the time to listen to your inner thoughts and decide the best way forward. ”

“What do you mean?” Fanny found herself still confused. She knew she would love her child; however, she could not understand how that alone would protect her child from his father.

“You could let how much Thomas hurts you affect how you treat others, including your child. You could let it turn you as bitter as he is. Will you pass on a legacy of pain or compassion?” she challenged, her voice quiet but unwavering.

“Take a moment to consider the choices before you. What do you want to teach your child, a boy or girl? How are you going to do that? Will you lead by example? Or will you tell them to behave a certain way while you behave another way?” Catherine glanced back at the budget, reviewing it for the next week’s worth of meals, while giving Fanny some time to think.

It was possible she could save a little on the butcher’s bill by planning on serving a stew on Tuesday.