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Fanny mulled over Mother Bennet’s words throughout the day and into the next.

She had never truly considered what values she wished to pass on to a child, and only assumed she would figure it out when the time came.

But now the question lingered in the back of her mind, reshaping how she saw herself not just as a wife, but as a future mother.

Taking her thoughts with her out to the garden, she worked on her plot of land.

Thomas had refused to allow her to direct any of the groundsmen to help her redo the garden the way she wanted.

He had told her that if she wanted to arrange things, she had to do it herself.

Though she had been upset at the time, she had come to truly enjoy working in the dirt.

There was something about watching things grow and change because you cared for them.

All some plants needed was a little pruning and water to flourish.

She had gotten her hands on a bag of snowdrop and crocus bulbs that she wanted to plant.

Hopefully, when spring came, they would bloom in a brilliant display of color.

With a deep breath, she kneeled at the mound of earth and set up everything she would need around her.

She loved the smell of the earth as she worked with it.

She worked hard to dig into the earth for the new flowerbed, listening to the sound of her spade breaking through the dirt.

While her hands moved, her mind wandered.

If she had a girl, she wanted to teach her strength.

Strength of character and to know her own mind.

No daughter of hers would be so na?ve as to fall for a few empty compliments, thinking it was love.

She had learned that lesson the hard way.

But how did one teach strength? She would want to lead by example, but was she strong enough?

Did she have time to learn to be strong?

There were so many questions running through her mind.

She was in this marriage; there was no helping it.

That meant that Thomas would have a role in how she built her own strength and how she taught her daughters to be resilient despite his presence.

She would teach them they were capable of so many things, and that they did not have to believe what Thomas said.

They would know kindness and compassion and the meaning of showing it to others.

In the weeks that she had been married, she had come to realize that her husband took pleasure in her misery and in watching her doubt herself. It might take time, but she would learn how to ignore his cruelty, even if it took twenty years—and she would help her daughters to do the same.

Her hands paused in their task, one of the bulbs frozen in midair.

What would she do if she had a boy? That was something she had fewer thoughts about.

What did one do with a boy? What did they need to know?

They would need to know how to be a better man than Mr. Thomas Bennet, that was for sure. But how did one go about teaching that?

Maybe God would bless her with a daughter to make up for the fact that she already had enough men in her life in the form of her husband.

One was enough when that one was Thomas, in her opinion at least. She would pray on the matter before she would worry too much about raising a son.

Maybe a boy would be nice, eventually. For now, she would hope for a girl.

The moment Fanny had long dreaded was upon her.

Steeling herself, she drew a breath and summoned every ounce of courage she possessed before announcing, “Thomas, I wanted to let you know I am with child. You will be a father sometime in early summer.” Fanny had waited to feel the quickening before she told Thomas about the baby.

She had been enjoying all the dreams she was weaving for the baby and had been determined to keep her joy untainted by the shadows he brought with him until she had to.

“Why do you insist on pestering me with insignificant trivialities?” Thomas looked up from his study of the Iliad with distaste. He was happy that his grandfather’s health had finally declined enough to keep him to his bedchamber, which meant that Thomas had taken over the study as his own.

“I do not feel that the coming birth of your child is a triviality, Thomas.” Fanny Bennet had gathered her courage to approach her husband in his lair and this was how he responded?

She had hoped, perhaps mistakenly, that he would at least be happy about a coming child.

It was possibly going to be his heir. With the entail in place, she had thought that he would be eager to have a child.

“Children are the purview of their mothers for years. Even then, by the time any son will be old enough to concern me, I would just be sending him off to Harrow or Eaton. Why would I be concerned with something that will not affect me for years on end?” Thomas kept his gaze on the book on his desk, attempting to tune out Fanny’s exasperated stare.

He had better things to do than deal with her and her concerns.

He was communing with history. Fanny recognized the dismissal and left.

As the days went on, Fanny grew closer to the tenants at Longbourn and picked up new skills while learning the satisfaction of a job well done.

She also took the time to let out all her dresses and then made new ones to accommodate her growing figure.

One of her favorite pastimes became visiting Mrs. Cooper.

She cherished the opportunity to bond with another woman as they both experienced the ups and downs of becoming mothers together.

“How is Mr. Cooper handling the spring planting? I know you used to help him, but this year you cannot.”

Matilde’s face had filled out after she had stopped losing her breakfast, though she never lost that glow when she spoke about her husband or her baby.

“Oh, he works ever so hard. And yet, do you know that last night he came home and finished making dinner because he could tell that my feet were hurting me again?”

“Your Johnny is a dear man, Matilde. Do you mind my asking you a rather personal question?” Even though Fanny was not as far along as her friend, she was still showing off a much fuller figure than when they had met.

“We are friends. Of course you can ask me a question.” Despite their disparities in social class, Matilde and Fanny had grown quite fond of each other.

“How did you know Johnny loved you? My Thomas said he loved me before we married, but now I know better. So how did you know?” It was not a secret that Fanny had found nothing but disappointment in her marriage to Thomas Bennet.

Fanny had told no one of how badly he treated her, but Thomas did not have the same compunction.

“When we were courting, I had been enjoying the attention that he gave me, but I did not know that he loved me at first. I did not realize how much he loved me until I saw he wanted the best for me, even if it was not what he wanted.” Matilde took a sip of the tea Mrs. Bennet had encouraged her to try, the aroma of chamomile and honey filling her nose.

“What was it he did?” Fanny was desperate to know how her friend had ended up so happy.

She feared missing out on love if it ever found its way to her, so she was determined to remain open to any possibilities in the future.

She had an acute awareness of her own poor judgement, having chosen Thomas as a partner.

“At seventeen, I’d get butterflies whenever I saw him at social gatherings, and he always seemed to gravitate towards me.

When the fever swept through town, all my family members fell ill one by one, and I was the last to suffer from its effects, the worst of all.

By the time I got ill, we had run out of anything we could use to treat my fever.

” Matilde couldn’t help but grin as she talked about the difficult times, knowing that everything had worked out in the end.

“I think I remember that fever; everyone seemed to come down with it. Though only old Mrs. Kindle died. I remember the aches and pains I felt were not as intense as what my siblings endured. I could see the lines of stress etched onto my mother’s face whenever she cared for my younger brother.

” It had been a hard time, but Fanny admitted to herself that she was more concerned with her own aches and discomfort than the wellbeing of anyone else.

“When Johnny realized I was sick and had nothing to stop my suffering, he went into town to get more medicine, but he soon discovered the whole town had run out. Johnny went all the way to London to get more medicine. He had carefully scrimped and saved for months to buy a horse, but in the end, he had to use the money to purchase the medication I needed. I found out later that he had to save an extra six months to get the horse he wanted. When he realized that I had found out, he told me he would do it again in a heartbeat. He confessed that my suffering pained him more than anything else that could befall him.” A gentle smile spread across Matilde’s face as she spoke of the moment she truly understood her husband’s love for her and how much she loved him in return.

“You are so blessed to have that kind of love in your marriage.”

Matilde knew Fanny would most likely never have that kind of love for herself. She did not wish to cause her friend any discomfort by pointing it out, so she simply said, “I know.”

A flurry of excitement swept through Fanny when she learned that Matilde Cooper had delivered a healthy baby boy.

When she visited, she got to see some of that love for herself.

Johnny was patiently helping with whatever he could, stealing loving looks with every chance he got.

You could plainly see just how devoted to her he was.

Even though she was elated for her friend, Fanny’s heart ached with jealousy at the sight of Johnny’s affection for his wife and their child.

But she refused to let her envy ruin her bond with her friend or her positive outlook.

Once it became more difficult to get around, she took the time to read with Mother Bennet.

They read new and interesting things. In fact, she found a love of reading that she had never realized.

The English translation of Don Quixote quickly became her favorite.

She had once again become lost in the book, her eyes lingering on each line, when she felt a rush of warmth pulled her back to the present and reminded her that another story was about to begin.

Red and screaming, her precious baby arrived seventeen hours later.

Fanny was so depleted that her fatigue seemed like a new world, covered with an endless sea of pain.

Yet her heart swelled with joy as she cradled her vibrant and healthy child in her arms. She felt such immense joy that it almost overwhelmed her, yet it felt incomplete without someone to share it with.

Somehow, she knew Thomas would never be that man.

Her heart was not complete despite her elation.

When she gazed into the deep, innocent blue eyes looking back at her, she knew that this love was enough for her.

She decided that day to make sure that her baby would always know how much love she had for her.

Even if her father never cared for her, Fanny would fill her days with affection and kindness.

After regaining some of her strength, she felt the need to introduce her baby to its father.

Thomas never made the effort to visit to see for himself if she or the baby had survived, but she felt it was only right that he see his child.

He might want to name her, and though Fanny had a few names she preferred, it was his right.

“Thomas, I have brought the babe for you to see. She is rather small, but she is healthy.” Fanny moved so that he could look at the small bundle in her arms.

“Your shouting yesterday was disruptive enough. I will not tolerate more kerfuffle,” he said, barely sparing her a glance.

“I made it clear I would only concern myself with a male heir, and not anytime soon. Since you couldn’t manage even that, I see no reason to be involved, and I certainly have no desire to see it. ”

“Did you want to pick a name? Most fathers—” Fanny froze as a book slammed shut with a loud thud, the sound jarring enough to wake the baby.

“Take your mewling infant and leave me be, woman,” Thomas sneered. “I care not for either of you, nor do I care what name she is given. Begone!”

At a loss for words, Fanny slipped from the room in silence, cradling her newborn close to shield her from any further anger. Her heart ached for her daughter, who would never know the warmth of a father’s love.