Could she have done something else? Something less violent? Was stabbing the man the only option she had?
By firmly clasping Catherine's hand, Elizabeth effectively brought her focus to the present moment. “I can see your mind spinning faster than a wayward top. What is going through that pretty head of yours?” Reaching out, Elizabeth smoothed some of Catherine’s hair out of her eyes.
Biting her lip, Catherine confessed, “I was wondering if I could have found another way to protect myself. A man nearly died because of what I did.”
Lydia snorted in a very unladylike fashion. “The man nearly died because he was too stupid to take the wise advice offered about leaving the knife where it was until a physician arrived.”
Mary, who was sitting at the foot of the bed, smiled sadly at her younger sister. “It seems to me that we, as imperfect humans, always ask ourselves what if? What if I had chosen my words better? What if I had done that? It is my opinion that it is a very dark path to wander down.”
“I do not know why, but I am finding it hard to justify harming someone else merely to protect myself.” Catherine shook her head fitfully. In that moment, there was a conflict between her logical mind and her emotions, and she couldn't determine which side was prevailing.
Elizabeth spoke softly to her younger sister. “When you shot that arrow at Wickham, did you feel that it was the right thing to do?’
Sitting up in the bed, Catherine turned to face Elizabeth.
“Of course! He was trying to hurt you. I was not about to let him harm you if I could help it.” Reaching out, she clasped one of Elizabeth’s hands in both of hers.
The moment she had seen Wickham trying to drag her injured sister away, she had felt something change in her.
She could not have let him abscond with her any more than she could survive without breathing.
Elizabeth tilted her head in question. “How is it different? You still hurt someone.”
Catherine's brow furrowed in puzzlement, distorting her face. “I was protecting someone else. Protecting someone else from pain is something stronger, I think, especially if you love the person you are protecting.”
“Then I do not see this situation as anything different.” Elizabeth’s face was carefully blank, as if wanting her sister to draw her own conclusions.
“What do you mean?” Catherine asked, her unease mounting.
“How do you think all of us would have felt had we found out Deerhurst had hurt you, or if you had married him and he mistreated you?” Pausing, Elizabeth waited a moment before continuing, allowing the depth of her message to sink in.
“I can tell you for a fact that I would have been devastated to learn that you had been harmed in any way by that scoundrel. So, in effect, you were protecting us from harm by protecting yourself.”
Catherine sat in silence for a moment, unable to form words as her mind spun like the top that Elizabeth had spoken of.
It was true that her sisters would have been devastated had something happened to her.
If something similar had happened to any of her sisters, she would have thanked God that they had come out safely.
The severity of the man's injuries would have mattered little to her if he had tried to harm her sisters in any way.
Why was she any different? Why should she hold herself to a higher standard than she would anyone else?
The struggle within her mind finally subsided, as if a whirlwind had settled and left behind a calm stillness.
The act of hurting someone to defend herself might evoke feelings of guilt in her, however, it was a means of shielding her sisters from emotional pain.
Catherine’s muscles seemed to unclench as she finally accepted what she had been forced to.
“I would never let him hurt any of you,” she declared firmly, their mutual protective instinct palpable.
Elizabeth's hand gently grasped Catherine's, bringing her closer and enveloping her in a protective hold. “No, my sweet girl, we sisters fight to protect each other in every way that we can.”
“I do not know what I was thinking.” Catherine’s words were muffled when she talked into Elizabeth’s shoulder.
“We all forgive you for being distressed. It is only expected. You had a very hard morning,” Georgiana spoke up from where she sat next to Lydia.
She may not have exhibited the exuberance of some of the sisters, but she was still very supportive.
“What I want to know is what are we going to do about my wayward cousin.”
Lydia bumped her shoulder into Georgiana. “That is certainly a better topic to consider. Deerhurst has no redeemable qualities and we would be best to forget him. Colonel Theodore, on the other hand, may be redeemed.”
“He said he was going to apologize. Or rather, he had many apologies to make and then later he said that he could not apologize enough for his stupidity.”
“Well, that is a start. It is always better if someone can admit how stupid they have been. It makes for better groveling,” Mary said, her face lighting up with a smile.
A giggle escaped so suddenly, Catherine gasped in surprise. “Mary, I never would have expected you to be one for groveling.”
“It is better that someone knows they have done wrong and must apologize. The bible does speak of asking for forgiveness when necessary. I am not different from any of you. I do not take well to people hurting my sisters. He made you cry. It is only fair that he grovels.” Mary’s prim humph, in turn, made every one break into a relieved laughter.
“Are you going to forgive him and take him back, so to say?” Leaning forward in her chair and bouncing slightly, Lydia was clearly eager to find out.
Catherine pushed herself up to the head of her bed so that she could lean against the wall and look at all her sisters.
Anticipation filled the air as all four of them awaited an update on her romantic journey.
She pondered, trying to come up with how to explain how she felt.
“Before everything went horribly wrong, I had decided that I could not let him go. Even if I was going to have to hit him over the head with something hard, I was going to get him to come to his senses.”
“Well, it sounds like you will be forgiving him.” Georgiana smiled, always happy when people got along as opposed to fighting. Catherine knew that most of all, she was happy when those she loved were happy.
“Do not let him get away with his idiocy too easily.” Lydia, young and brash, was clearly unwilling to let Theodore’s transgressions slide so easily.
“Though I am angry at him for hurting you, I agree that you belong together. With everything happening, it is almost as if the hand of fate has reached out to help you two along your way.”
With a sudden jolt of surprise, Catherine jerked her head back, her eyebrows shooting up. “Really? How has any of this been propelled by fate? His mother has been treating him horribly since his brother died. She even tried to pay someone to ruin me.”
Lydia started using animated gestures with her hand to explain.
“And yet it will not keep you apart. Not in the bigger scheme of things. I would imagine that the obstacles you have encountered will only serve to strengthen the love between you. It is allowing you two to see more of the other than you would typically get to see during a courtship.”
Catherine nodded, seeing the supporting facts behind her sister's argument.
“I always thought love was something ephemeral, and that you had to catch it before it passed you by. Love can be within your grasp, but you must act swiftly or lose it forever.” Catherine began twirling her hair around her finger, thinking about her conclusions.
“You also have to nurture love once you have it, or it can wither.”
Georgiana sighed and leaned against Lydia who was sitting next to her. “I think that is a very nice sentiment, Kitty.”
“Whether it's written in the stars, good fortune, or kismet, I am committed to catching this opportunity and not allowing the love of my life to elude me.”
“William said that Theodore asked to see you this evening, perhaps after supper?” Elizabeth said. “Perhaps this will give you the opportunity you need to catch fate as it were.”
“It would be better if she could catch kismet. It sounds more romantic that way.” Lydia laughed when two of her sisters threw pillows at her.
It was clear the household staff was all very fond of the family, including Miss Catherine.
Almost immediately after Timmy reached the kitchen, they became aware of his actions to assist Miss Catherine.
As a result, they immediately adopted him as their own.
He was promptly offered a meal and a change of clothes better than any he had ever owned, even before he had been orphaned.
Timmy could only marvel at the change in his circumstances.
He emerged from his bath, feeling invigorated and snug, his freshly washed clothes providing an added layer of comfort.
The food had been copious and delicious.
It appeared that the staff ate just as well on a regular basis.
He had been debating taking the family up on their offer to go to their country property, but now he had pretty much decided.
Looking up from where he sat in the corner of the kitchen observing things, he saw the well-dressed man from before. Trying to be on his best behavior, he slid down the chair and smiled at the man nervously.
“They tell me you are Timmy,” the gentleman said with a smile as he approached.
Standing straighter, he nodded and replied, “Yes sir.”
“I am Fitzwilliam Darcy,” he introduced himself, his voice noticeably laced with kindness, “and I wish to extend my heartfelt thanks for the help you provided to Miss Catherine.”
Delight washed over Timmy as he blushed, overwhelmed by the unexpected gratitude from a man of such high social status. “She is a nice lady I could not let something bad happen to her. Not if I could help it.”
“It seems as though they have taken care of you while we were seeing to Miss Catherine. Do you need anything?”
“No sir, the food was good, and they gave me new clothes. I even got a pair of boots! I do not know what else I could need.” Looking down at his new shoes in wonder, Timmy grinned before looking back up to catch Mr. Darcy’s own smile.
“Some of the staff have asked if we could find a position for you. And while I would be more than happy to offer you some kind of role here, I would first like to know what you would like.”
Biting his lip, Timmy hoped he was not about to be too bold. “Miss Catherine mentioned you have a farm that needs help. I have never been on a farm.”
“We will be in London for at least another month of the season, and then we will be returning to Pemberley in Derbyshire. If you want, you can return with us, and I would be more than happy to have you help at the home farm.” With a thoughtful expression, Mr. Darcy brought his hand to his chin, deep in thought.
“The family who have been running it recently had two of their sons leave home to start their own endeavors. I think they can use the help if you are interested.”
Timmy feared his eyes might bulge out of his head and responded the only way he knew how. “I am.”
“Well, in the meantime, would you be at all interested in helping the grooms? Working with the horses? Along with a generous wage, you would also receive food and lodging.”
“Really?” Timmy could not believe his luck. This was so much more than just a meal; this was more than he had ever dreamed of.
“Yes, really,” Mr. Darcy grinned.
Table of Contents
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