Page 31

Lillian

__________

A fter I hang up on Morgan with a wince, I step out onto the balcony and sit down on a chair before dialing Andy.

He had asked me if I wanted the truth about my birth and adoption, and I remember shrugging.

I didn’t think anything would really come out from the inquiries.

I guess I just didn’t have enough faith in the power of money and whatever else this attorney does for Morgan. Or I guess mostly their PI.

I stare out over the skyline and shiver when the breeze envelops me. I wonder if it’s going to snow soon. I don’t remember the last time I’ve actually seen snow in person.

Andy answers almost immediately. “Lillian… Thank you for calling me back. How are you?”

I purse my lips and cross my legs. “I’m… okay. You?”

He chuckles. “Just fine… I know you wanted to wait until we had our meeting, but I had already sent my PI out just so we had something to go over when I saw you. It turns out your birth parents were bankrupt, definitely not teen parents. They owned a few restaurants in Oregon and Idaho, but lived in Los Angeles,” he sighs, and it sounds like he’s shuffling stuff around on his desk. “Do you want to take a moment?”

I hold my breath and slowly let it out. So I’ve really been lied to my entire life. “They really were teen parents?”

He clears his throat, “Unfortunately not. The adoption was legal from what I could find so far, but not anything that was from… behind the scenes, should we say. I have Malek looking into accounts and bank records, or any paper trails for more information.”

I feel more numb than I ever have been in my entire life. “Are they still alive?” I croak out and he’s silent for many moments.

“Your birth parents were both in a fatal car accident a few weeks after you were adopted.”

I bite down on my bottom lip and breathe in slowly through my nose. “So my birth parents sold me to monsters for money. To save their restaurants, and then died.”

He grunts and I hear him slamming some drawers shut and I wince with the sound.

“I can look up more information, maybe they were coerced. Maybe they knew your adoptive parents somehow and they were threatened. I don’t have all the answers just yet.

But I do have information about the Wilder children, if you want slightly better news? ”

I stay silent and he continues on.

“All three are in custody, their charges are even shocking to me, but apparently Betty’s lawyer was fed up and gave everything to the authorities.

He must have had his own people on them for a while…

He faxed me over the real Will. You were actually named the true power of attorney, but the lawyer was told and had forms shoved at him that ‘proved’ you relinquished everything to the others, which is confusing because the papers that I found still showed Francis as the POA.

There’s a lot of bullshit that was in the court system.

“You were also left the house, her cars. Her valuables. There’s a list of what she wanted donated upon her death.

All of her bank accounts were supposed to be transferred to you, along with more information on the charities she wanted fifty percent of her stocks and investments to be donated to.

Unfortunately, all of the accounts, both for Betty and her children are all frozen while there is the ongoing investigation.

I’ll keep you updated when we know more.

Everything that was Francis’s was also bequeathed to you - but the children somehow got a hold of all of his separate accounts and investments and split the money already. ”

The tears are falling down my cheeks, I shake my head and feel like my chest is caving in.

I should have fought harder. I should have contacted the police and begged Mackenzie for help, for money to speak to Betty’s lawyers for the truth.

I was just so depressed, so young and scared.

If I wasn’t so damn weak, I could have been there for her all of these years, she wouldn’t have been alone. Fuck, she could have still been alive.

How could they do this to their own mother? I don’t understand why they hated her so much.

Why didn't Betty ever tell me she was worried about her own children? Why didn't I know about everything she was leaving to me?

Why didn't the lawyers work harder to protect her?

“Thank you… How much do I owe you?” I have silent tears streaming down my face and I have no idea what to even do or say right now. About any of this. This is a fucking lot.

No wonder Morgan doesn’t want me. I’m too much trauma, too much baggage.

He chuckles softly. “Morgan already took care of it all. Have a good evening, Ms. Sarsfield. I’ll talk to you soon.” He hangs up and I drop my phone, letting it clatter beside my bare feet.

I sit, frozen. Just lost in my thoughts.

My birth parents either sold me or were forced to, then died… I’m betting they were actually murdered. I know that Richard and Lisa are in prison, still alive. I can call and ask to speak to them, ask for the truth. Answers.

Would they even be honest?

I know it’ll just be another fucking mess to untangle, they probably wouldn’t tell me the truth anyway. It’s pointless. I never knew my parents and they’re already gone.

Richard and Lisa are never getting out of prison, no matter how much money they have or their ‘connections’. I hear the sliding door open up behind me and feel Mack’s warm arms surrounding my shivering shoulders.

“Come on, Lil… Let’s head inside and get into bed.”

I nod and let her pull me inside and wrap me up in blankets before she guides me to the bed we’ll be sharing. I wonder how much she heard.

I feel like such a shit friend. I need to be there for her, not the other way around. I cry and set my head down on her chest, wanting to apologize but I can’t get the words out.

“Hey… stop. I always knew that we would end up back in the same place. I wish that you came to Vegas years ago, but it’s a good thing you didn’t.

It’s… different. A harder, harsher life.

I was making so much money that I didn’t even care about the seedy, scary shit that was happening around me.

But now I’m here. I’ll heal, I’ll be okay. I just want to be near you.”

I nod and try to calm my breathing, stop the tears. “I’m just so sorry… Is there anything I can do?”

I feel her shake her head, then she starts to comb her fingers through my hair. “I’ll be okay. I just need a job, a place to live… and maybe a therapist.”

I try to smile but it falls flat. “Maybe we can both find a good therapist, I thought I was done with therapy, but I doubt I ever will be…” I tell her about the phone call with Andy, about my biological parents, and Betty’s kids.

She sighs and wraps me up in her arms. “Come on, let’s get some sleep. Tomorrow you need to get back to Morgan, you need to talk to that man. You need to hug those girls and know that everything will be okay. You deserve this night away, but your new life, your home is with them.”

I frown and blink my swollen, blurry eyes up at her. “What?”

She rolls her green eyes and flicks my nose.

“You love him. You love those three little girls. They’re your family, your real family, now.

I’ll always be here… hell, I technically live with you right now.

But we need to get you home so that you can fall apart in Morgan’s big, strong arms. Maybe get some good dick…

and then cuddle those sweet little babies.

That’s all that matters right now. Not Betty’s demon children, not your evil adoptive parents and maybe psycho, piece of shit biological parents.

Keep your chin up, babe. You have so many people around you that love you. ”

_____________

We park in the garage at seven in the morning and I stare down at my hands that are still curled around the steering wheel. I’m not ready to face him. Do I love him? I know that I love those three beautiful angels. Avery, Nessa, and Tilly are the little lights of my life.

But can I be with a man that wants to make decisions for me?

Real life, life altering decisions? I know for a fact that I’m falling in love with him.

Somehow. I can’t get him out of my mind.

I want him to be happy, to retire or to continue playing hockey.

To stay here in Minnesota or move to New York to be closer to his parents.

I want to be with him, but apparently I have no idea what I want, right?

What I want doesn’t matter because I’m not even thirty.

He thinks that I should be with a guy my age that doesn’t have children yet, or any ‘baggage’.

As if an ex-wife and three beautiful children are baggage…

If they are, then I want it all. I want that baggage.

I want to grow old with Morgan, even if he’s done having kids.

I don’t have to have biological children to be happy.

I just want him. Fuck, do I want him. Even his scowls and his sharp words.

His body, how much he loves his little family. His drive, his passion. How much he cares, even if his words can come out jilted and hurtful.

His touch, the way he looks at me. The way we talk to each other as much as we can.

Mackenzie clears her throat and opens up her car door, stepping out before she bends back down to send me a look.

“I’m going to go play some loud music, take a nice hot bath, and then go on a long walk.

Have that talk with your man, Lil. You deserve to be happy.

You deserve to have a man like him in your life.

Kind, loving, and supportive, even if you disagree on what he said.

He loves you, Lillian… even if he doesn’t know it yet.

” She winks at me and grabs her bag from the back seat before she saunters into the house, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

I blow out a slow breath and close the garage before I pluck up my bags and shuffle to the door. Is this too soon? Should I move out and not sleep here when he’s home?