Page 16

Lillian

__________

I t’s been a few days since Hurricane Brittany roared into our lives, I’m still not sure how I feel about it.

I can still barely sleep and the girls are suffering through night terrors now, too.

Eventually all three of them crawled into bed with me, and since that night, they’ve all been sleeping with me since about midnight.

Morgan has been kind, helpful, and around as much as he can when he’s not heading to the gym or to practice. He has a home game this week and is leaving again over the weekend. I can’t imagine a schedule like that, always on the move.

I’m the type that has to have roots down, these past few months have stressed me the hell out before I moved in with Morgan, but I still don’t feel grounded. Everything just feels temporary, and I’m not sure what to do about it.

I haven’t applied to any other jobs and I’m not holding my breath for any of the schools to contact me anytime soon.

I just, I don’t know. My head and heart are a mess.

I keep telling myself that it’s a mistake to lust after Morgan, but those damn looks he keeps sending me?

I can’t stop thinking about when he pressed me up against the sink and breathed me in, pressed his lips against my neck.

I would probably be getting myself off to it every night if the girls weren’t crawling into my bed.

I just got the little ones down for a nap when my phone starts to vibrate in my back pocket. I don’t recognize the number and debate on silencing it or answering.

I blow out a breath and click the green button. “Hello?”

“Hi! May I speak to Lillian Sarsfield?”

“Yes… This is her.”

The woman blows out a relieved breath. “Thank goodness. This is Marissa. Look, there’s been a man coming around, asking questions.

I think it’s some sort of PI. I know you’re on the ‘do not call list’ and think it has something to do with that…

but hon, Betty… she’s not doing so well, sweetheart.

Her kids never even come by, I think you need to come see her if you can, soon. ”

I press my hand to my mouth and tears drip down my chin. “What kind of person is asking questions? What are they saying?”

She clears her throat. “He’s licensed and everything.

Obviously we couldn’t give him information but we did tell him the truth…

that Betty hasn’t had a visitor in over five years.

We don’t give out charts or health information.

But the man just nodded, wrote something down on his phone, and left faster than he came… ”

I chew on my lip and wonder if Morgan had something to do with this. Goodness, I need to call him. “Thank you, ma’am. I’m currently a full-time nanny… I’ll try to figure something out. It’s going to be hard for me to leave and I live out of state now…”

We hang up and I tap my phone against my hand. My bare feet tap against the tile as I pace around the living room. Why would Morgan do this? I sigh as I send him a text to call me when he can and that it has nothing to do with the girls.

I plop down on the couch and stare at the dark, blank TV, trying to come to terms with this.

I’ve never had anyone, other than Betty and Francis, to care and do things to make me feel welcomed… loved.

And if it wasn’t him, then I’m going to start the freak out that someone is looking into my foster mom. Morgan replies and says he’s almost home and we can talk in person. I frown as I check the time. He’s coming home early today. Good thing I have some leftovers from our lunch that he can eat.

The girls barely ate it, but it’s a start.

I heat up the dish for him and place it at the island right when the garage door opens and he comes strolling in. I try to smile at him as he collapses down on the stool and shovels the chicken salad into his mouth and moans.

“Tell me what’s going on,” he murmurs around his fork and I clear my throat, leaning forward on the island and closing my eyes for a few moments.

“Did you… hire someone to look into Betty?”

He winces and wipes his face with a napkin.

“I did… My lawyer got a hold of her will. Her kids are doing some shady shit and I have no idea how they’re actually doing it.

They can legally block you from seeing her, but technically since Betty had the money and it’s stated in plain words in her will that the house was to be given to you…

They got jealous, sold the house and her cars, and are refusing to let you see Betty at all.

My attorney said that it’s possible that Betty’s own lawyers have no idea what’s going on… But I had Andy send them the proof.”

I close my eyes and press my chin to my chest. Betty was leaving me her house? “What’s going to happen once her lawyers find out they sold the house and her cars?”

He chuckles and shoves the rest of the food in his mouth.

“Nothing good, I’ll tell you that. No idea why those assholes even have the POA in the first place, definitely an oversight on Betty’s part…

But whatever they did or whomever they paid off to sell the house, it’s going to bite them all in the ass when she passes away. ”

I sigh and glance up into his warm hazel eyes. “About that… One of the staff called me today and she told me that she can basically sneak me in to see her because she’s declining. Her kids haven’t seen her in over five years.” I choke and glance away, placing my hands over my eyes.

I hear him move closer to me and then I’m in his arms. He pulls me close and I breathe in his clean scent and let the tears fall.

“Let me make some calls. My parents might be able to fly in for a few days.” I nod against him and eventually he guides me to the living room and tells me to pick a show.

“I’ll be in my office if you need me.” He backs away and I click through the shows until I give up and just land on the Disney Channel.

The girls will be up soon, then it’s snack time and then we start on dinner before picking up Avery from gymnastics at four.

I slip into the guest bathroom down the hall and press a cool washcloth over my eyes. I don’t want them to know I’m upset. Those girls already have enough stress in their life. They don’t need to see their crazy nanny cry.

I hear their sweet voices as I step out of the bathroom and pull them into my arms after they race up to me from their bedroom. “Hello sweet girls, how was your nap?”

Nessa wiggles out of my arms and skips to the kitchen for her snack. “Good. Is daddy home?” She grabs his keys from the counter and shakes them around.

“He sure is, he’s in his office. I’m sure he’ll be out soon to say hello.” I smile and get them situated for their snacks and I sit and watch them eat. I haven’t been here for very long, but even imagining leaving them for only a few days is making my stomach clench.

I’m way too attached to this family. I just hope it doesn’t bite me in the ass.

Morgan joins us in the playroom about a half hour later, nodding his head to the hall so that he can talk to me.

“My parents weren’t able to fly in anytime soon, but I called Logan and Bianca.

His wife doesn’t travel with us for the away games, so she offered to come this Friday night and stay until Monday, if that works for you?

I want to get you out there as soon as you are able… ”

I nod slowly. “She’ll be okay with all three of them?”

He snorts and nods, leaning up against the wall, sending me an amused glance. “Absolutely. Her and Marie have helped out with the kids before… But Marie has twin infants and two seventeen year old girls at their house. I didn’t want to stress her out.”

I chuckle and shake my head. “Sounds crazy. She’s married to who again?”

“She’s engaged to James. You’ll meet them all soon, probably the next weekend we’re home. The guys want me to host a cookout.”

I nod and let out a long breath. “I’ll book a flight, thank you so much. When do you leave?”

“Saturday morning. Bianca said she can be over here around five PM on Friday, and I’ll already be home by then.”

I chew on my lip and hold myself back from jumping up into his arms. “Thank you. I’ll book it now. Want to sit with the girls? I’ll head to my room for a little bit.”

He sucks in his bottom lip into his mouth and waves me off. “Take your time.”

_____________

I fly out to see Betty tomorrow. I’m terrified.

I know she won’t remember me, but what if someone tells her kids that I’m there?

My hands shake as I check my new luggage that magically showed up a few days ago on my bed.

It’s bright purple and massive enough to hold half of my closet if I pack correctly.

Little gifts have been showing up since the Betty debacle. Little notes around the kitchen for me to find, my favorite lemonade in the fridge when I wake up in the morning. The luggage, and then this morning Morgan cooked us all breakfast before I took Avery to school.

Gosh. I want to lick that man. Not only is he a doting father, but he’s such a damn good man that it makes me want to slap Brittany around and drown her in the lake.

Speaking of the ex, not a peep from her since.

The court date is next Wednesday and Morgan doesn’t think she’s even going to show up after the shit she pulled here.

Especially not after he had his attorney head down to the courthouse and file for restraining orders and let them know what she tried to pull that day…

I still can’t believe she tried to take the girls. She has nowhere to live, no job, no money, and didn’t even have a proper vehicle.

It blows my mind how selfish someone can be, she just wanted Morgan to wire her more money. She doesn’t care about the girls, and that just breaks my heart.

I zip up the bag and step away, rubbing my hands on my sore knees. A glass of wine should clear my mind right about now.

I slip out of my room and head into the kitchen, grabbing a glass before searching for an open bottle in the fridge. We usually have a glass with dinner at night when Morgan’s home to eat with us.

I find a bottle of Merlot and pour until it’s almost filled to the rim and I lean back against the counter as I sip it. Not my favorite, but it gets the job done.

“I thought I heard someone out here,” Morgan murmurs from behind me. I jump and sigh with relief when I don’t drop or spill the glorious liquid. “Sorry… I should start wearing bells or something.”

I glance at him over my shoulder and chuckle. “You should. Sorry if I woke you.”

He shakes his head and pulls down a glass and pours the rest of the wine in it. “I was awake. Couldn’t sleep. How are you doing?”

I sigh and turn so that I can actually look at him as we talk. “I’m… okay. I’ll be even better when I can see Betty and get to say goodbye.”

He nods slowly and moves his gaze over my face. “I wish I could go with you, you shouldn’t have to do this all on your own.”

I shrug and look away. “I’ll be fine. Worst comes to worse, my friend Mackenzie can probably fly in if anything bad happens or I get arrested or some shit for just showing up to the nursing home.”

He glares at me and rolls his eyes. “You won’t be arrested. You call me if anything happens.”

“Where are your games this weekend?” I murmur, changing the subject.

“Not in California. We’ll be in Tennessee then Arizona.”

I hum and finish off my glass before rinsing it out and setting it in the sink. I have to keep myself busy before I stare any longer at Morgan.

He’s shirtless, only wearing a pair of low-slung pajama bottoms. His feet are bare and he just looks so damn delicious.

Maybe that glass of wine wasn’t a good idea.

I can feel my body flushing. I turn off the tap and start to leave.

“I’ll let you relax. See you in the morning.

” I step away before I feel his hand land on my shoulder, spinning me around.

He backs me up against the island and moves his face down close to mine.

His warm breath smells like wine, his eyes are darkening with the hunger that I am definitely feeling. “I want to kiss you,” he murmurs and presses his pelvis up against me. I shudder when I feel how hard he is.

Oh, fuck. Why is he doing this?

Had he already been drinking tonight?

He chuckles and moves his nose along my neck, pressing a kiss to my cheek before slowly moving closer to my lips.

I turn my head and touch my tongue to his warm, soft lips.

He opens up for me and I moan when he wraps his tongue around mine, I arch up against him and wrap my arms around his shoulders. Needing him closer.

He pulls back and kisses my forehead before sighing and shaking his head.

“I want you.” I lick my lips and open my mouth to reply before he presses his finger up against my lips.

“I want to be completely divorced and rid of Brittany before I start anything with you, Lillian… you deserve that. And we should sit down and talk about what this means for us, and for the girls, after my shit is dealt with.”

I close my eyes and glance away. I understand where he’s coming from but I still feel rejected.

Fuck, what was in that wine?

Sure, we’ve shared a few looks. He pressed me up against the sink a few weeks ago. We talk sometimes.

He… he really wants someone like me? Or does he just want sex?

“Hey… I swear I like you. I want you, Lillian. I just want shit done right this time.”

I nod and scurry out of the room and softly close my door once I make it down the hall. I make sure my phone is plugged in and curl around my soft pillows, pulling my blanket over my head. Maybe a few days away from Morgan will help me think more clearly.

I don’t know what to do or think.

I don’t think it would be smart to start anything with him. We need to think about the girls and his issues with Brittany. Maybe once he’s divorced he will forget all about me and find more puck bunnies to fuck while he’s traveling and playing games.

I don’t think I can trust again anyway.