Page 89 of Attractive Forces

Aaron will just have to face the consequences of not having a science fair project to hand in. Which will be another round of detentions. Which he won’t go to, which will then trigger more detentions and more parent-teacher conferences… I sigh, running both hands through my hair.

I want so desperately to message Logan right now. It’s like a compulsion.

But isn’t that what I’ve done for the past few months? Used Logan as a distraction while ignoring everything else going on around me.

I accused Annaliese of checking out of our family, but I’ve done it while living in the same house.

Dismantling Aaron’s clumsy attempt to tape paper around a container, a lump rises in my throat. He tried. He was trying to do his science fair project. And I hadn’t even thought about the fact that up until this year, Dad would have always helped him with something like this.

I huff out a sigh.

When Aaron gets home, I’m going to sit down and actually talk to him. Talk to him about Dad, about why he’s acting out so much.

Try to work out if there’s any way to help him. At the very least, be someone he can vent to.

But an hour ticks by, and Aaron doesn’t come home.

My stomach starts to fill with dread.

28

Logan

The championship final is tomorrow, so this morning there’s a special assembly where all the rugby players sit on the stage while Coach hypes up everyone by talking about how we’re going to make history if we win tomorrow.

As I sit there, my eyes scan the crowd for Jake, as they always do when I’m somewhere Jake might be. But I can’t find that familiar dark head. I know he’s avoiding me, but surely he didn’t skip assembly just so he didn’t have to see me on stage?

Principal Martin takes over from Coach and talks about legacy and how if we win again, it’ll prove last year’s victory wasn’t a fluke and provide further evidence that you don’t need to go to a private school to achieve.

I feel like I’ve swallowed a brick. Nothing like adding the whole public school versus private school debate to the stakes of the game tomorrow for some extra pressure.

After Principal Martin finishes, it’s my turn to speak. This is the part of being captain that I hate.

I have the speech Coach has given me in my hand, and the paper trembles as I make my way to the podium.

My dad makes this look so easy, standing in front of people and talking, but my stomach clenches when I look out and see all those eyes on me.

I do another scan of the rows from the podium, looking for Jake. Even though we’re not together anymore, Jake is still my happy place.

But I can’t find him.

I stumble through the words of my speech, and despite the fact a tree would have a less wooden delivery than me, I still get a rousing round of applause as I sit back down.

I stare out at the whole school clapping and feel empty inside.

All those people applauding have no idea about the real me.

And the one person who does know me isn’t here.

I have an incredible urge to see Jake—one of those uncontrollable, impossible-to-reach itches that consumes my whole body.

But the rugby team isn’t in normal classes today, so I won’t be able to see him in English either.

I stumble off the stage after assembly, trying to take deep breaths to calm myself down. It’s break time now, and as I walk down the corridor, I spot Chloe grabbing books from her locker and stuffing them into her bag.

Before I can second-guess myself, I barrel straight up to her. “Hey, do you know where Jake is? Is he sick?”

Chloe frowns. She pauses before she answers. “Didn’t he tell you?”