Page 4 of Attractive Forces

“In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.”

“Amen.”

I open my eyes. Mum gives me a smile before handing me the bowl of potatoes. Home grown, of course.

Our conversation quickly turns to the other religion in our house: rugby.

“You need to check out the new first five for the Greens,” Dad starts. “His foot speed is incredible. See the difference it makes to their whole offensive play.”

Aside from when he’s at the pulpit or in the garden, talking about rugby is when my father comes alive. He played at university, and apparently, there was buzz about him playing professionally, but in his last year, he went down the wrong way in a tackle and injured his knee. Three operations later, his dream of playing professionally ended. Now that dream has been transferred to me.

We talk about the new first five for a while before the conversation circles around to the Heath Valley rugby team. We won the provincial championship last year, which was a massive deal as all rugby competitions are usually dominated by the large all-boy schools from Christchurch and Dunedin. The fact our team from little Heath Valley snuck in and beat them was a massive source of town pride. And we’re totally gunning to win again this year.

If we succeed, we’ll be the first team in history to defend their title. It’s the kind of history I want to create.

When I get back to my room and grab my phone, I find Jennifer has sent me a selfie in her pajamas.

check out my cute slippers

Sure, because that’s what a guy will notice, her unicorn slippers, not the short pajama pants she’s wearing that finish mid-thigh or the fact she’s obviously bra-less.

I stare at her legs and the outline of her breasts against the thin fabric. My father always talks about the miracles in the Bible. I’m hoping one will strike now, and I will feel something. Anything.

Nada.

Instead, Jake Stenton pops into my head. His message still sits like an unexploded grenade on my phone.

Sometimes I feel as though I spend every moment of my life having to be so damn careful. Careful in the locker room to never let my eyes linger. Careful with my friends to laugh along with their jokes about girls and talk about female body parts like they’re options on a buffet. Careful with my parents, sticking to the script of being their dutiful, hard-working, straight son.

The careful part of me knows I should refuse Jake. Claim none of those days suit me. Find someone else to tutor me in chemistry.

But I’m so fucking sick of being careful.

So, I pick up my phone and bang out a message.can do 4ish Thursday

It’s only after I press send that I realize how abrupt my message was. I quickly type a follow-up.

thanks for helping me out

While I’m waiting for his reply, I message Jennifer back.

what game should you never play with unicorns

Her text back is almost instantaneous:what

leapfrog

Jennifer sends me a laughing emoji back, along with the message

you’re hilarious

Yep, that’s me. The hilarious Logan Madison. Whose heart hilariously does a leapfrog jump when my phone beeps with Jake’s reply. It’s purely a logistical text, organizing where and telling me how much he charges.

It’s a bit sad how long it takes me to reply and how many times I re-read my message before I press send.

That’s the thing, I can exchange witty messages with the hottest girl in school without blinking but messaging a cute nerd-boy makes me break out in a sweat.

The hilarious Logan Madison can even make himself laugh sometimes. It’s either that or cry.