Page 50
Story: Ashford Hall
“I explained what had happened and apologized, but I doubt he’ll be forgiving me anytime soon,” I said.
“That night, I said things that I knew would hurt him deeply just to make sure that he wouldn’t try and get me back.
I never assumed that I would have the opportunity to return here, and…
well, I suppose that even if I had hoped that, I didn’t think that I would still care for him as deeply as I do. ”
“I’ve long thought that you and Arthur would be an ideal match if you could overcome your lack of confidence and he could overcome his lack of trust,” she said.
“It seems you’ve gained some confidence in the intervening years.
Do you think that what you said will make it so Arthur will never grow to trust you again? ”
I considered this, leaning down and grabbing a flat stone from the water.
I rolled it in my fingers and then tossed it, the rock only skipping twice before sinking, and then looked at her again.
“No,” I said finally. “No, I’m going to do everything I possibly can to ensure that he trusts me again, and if he reaches that point and decides that he really can no longer love me…
I can accept it then. But now? Losing him because of events set in motion by James? I am not going to let that happen.”
“Good,” Ida said. “Don’t tell Charles, but I feel the same way. Underneath all this anger. I have no desire to lose out on a marriage because I was too stubborn to forgive him for being a damned fool.”
“I’ll keep it to myself until you decide you can talk to him,” I promised. “Do you really think I’m more confident?”
“I did until you asked that,” Ida said, but she laughed at the indignant look on my face. “You do. You seem steadier, as though you’re no longer trying so hard to prove your worth. The new job suits you?”
“I feel as though I’m finally in a place where I am seen for my abilities as a lawyer, and not my background or upbringing,” I said.
“At Louis Garretty’s office, I knew that I was seen as lesser.
The cases I was given were often ones that were seen as unwinnable or ones where the defendant did not have the money to mount a reasonable defense.
There was always a sense that I was separated from the men who had better backgrounds than I did, and now that I know that Louis was actively blackmailing clients…
it makes sense that he would keep affluent men closer to him and would have little use for me.
Mr. Hughes, however, has proven himself a fair and intelligent man to work for and seems to genuinely appreciate my skills.
There’s been talk of him making me a partner before the decade ends, and that’s not something I ever thought would be possible for a man of my background. ”
“Oh, Tom, that’s wonderful,” Ida said, sighing softly.
“It must be so nice to finally be recognized as a good lawyer. I… well, I was worried that Arthur would remove the opportunity when you left. But I’ve had time to think about it since, and it really seems to speak to some lingering affection for you, doesn’t it? ”
“I’ve thought as much myself,” I admitted, hefting another stone in my hand.
“That perhaps he did it out of a sense of protecting me, just as I did for Charles that night. But I think it was my way of comforting myself, and not any true feelings on his part. Ida…. When I left that night, I told Arthur that I had been lying to him from the start. That any love I’d shown him had been because I was gaining his trust for blackmail and that I wasn’t actually falling for him.
He doesn’t trust me now, and I can’t blame him for it. ”
“If he didn’t trust you anymore, if he was completely convinced that you were a bad person, he wouldn’t have let Matthew hire you,” Ida said.
There was something in the way she said it, the total surety she had that Arthur would not have allowed Matthew to go through with bringing me on if he had really lost all trust, that I couldn’t help but feel that little spark of hope again.
I skipped the stone in my hand—again failing to get it more than two skips before sinking under the water—and looked down at her. “You seem sure that I’ll be able to win him back. I just don’t see how that’s possible.”
“He didn’t trust you when you first came here, and you convinced him otherwise. You just need to do the same thing again. How long are you staying?”
“I haven’t decided yet,” I admitted. “I don’t have to be back in the city until the middle of next month to appear in court, and I sent a telegraph to Matthew this morning to ask that my work be sent here in the meantime.
I really don’t intend to leave until I convince him to either trust me again, or he tells me to my face that I need to leave. ”
“You sound like an insane man,” Ida said, but she was clearly amused. “Speaking of insanity, did you hear about Felix and Rudy?”
“I did,” I said, laughing. “Honestly, I’m quite surprised that it took them this long. They seem particularly well-suited.”
“They do, don’t they?” She twisted the skirt of her dress around her hand and looked out at the lake. “I’ll do what I can to help you, Tom, but I think the bulk of the work will need to be done by you. There’s only so much that I can say that will influence him.”
“I know.” I had torn down the relationship I’d built with Arthur, and I would need to take the time to build it back up brick by brick.
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