Page 51 of Angel of Light (Lords of The Commission: New York #5)

“I did. But not before trying to set everything straight with your mother. We’d run out of the love that bound us in the beginning.

Our disagreements, the family business, both sides of it, the expectation of keeping a hollow facade.

It all chewed away at what we had, bit by bit.

When I spoke about divorce, your mother didn’t agree at first. She wanted a second chance.

But there was nothing left in me to give.

Your grandfather made it clear that divorce wasn’t an option.

The scandal would have destroyed our family’s standing, and Teresa… ”

“I threatened to take you children away,” Mom said quietly, her own guilt evident in her small voice laced with shame. “I told him if he left me for her, he’d never see any of you again.”

The confession hung in the air between us like a loaded gun.

“So you chose us,” I said.

“I chose all of you,” Dad corrected fiercely.

“I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you, Matt, Alessandro, and Liam.

I had no idea Ann was pregnant. It meant cutting all ties with Ann to protect her from your grandfather’s threats.

There was no way I could have known, especially because Ann felt betrayed.

As she should. I had promised her we would be together, because I loved her.

It felt like such a cliché that it ended up like one, too. ”

“I remember,” I said quietly, both of them looking at me with confusion. “When I was little, I used to hear you crying at night sometimes. These muffled sobs coming from your study. I never understood what could make my strong father cry like that. So desperate. I thought we made you unhappy.”

Dad’s face went white while Mom’s head whipped from looking at me to regard him and see if my words were true. She never knew he broke down that way because he never allowed her to see that part of him.

“You heard that?” His voice was raw and unsteady.

“I did. It scared me because I’d never seen you vulnerable before. Now I understand. You were grieving her, weren’t you? Ann and the life you could never have with her.” I could understand him now because I, too, was grieving a life I so desperately wanted and couldn’t have.

Dad nodded, unable to speak as tears rolled down his cheeks.

“I was dying inside,” he whispered. I’m dying inside, too.

“But there was no real choice when it came between protecting all of you or being with her. And your grandfather... his threats weren’t empty, Alison.

If I hadn’t walked away completely, Ann would have been in real danger. I knew that much.”

The pieces were finally clicking into place, painting a picture of a man torn between impossible choices rather than the indifferent father I’d always believed him to be.

“When the bomb went off,” Dad continued, his voice shaking with emotion, “when I got that call that you were hurt, that you might not survive... I have never been so terrified in my entire life.”

He leaned forward, his eyes locked on mine with an intensity that made my breath catch.

“I sat beside your hospital bed, holding your hand so tight, because I was afraid that if I let go, you’d slip away from me forever.

I talked to you while you lay there, almost lifeless.

I kissed your forehead so many times the nurses probably thought I’d lost my mind.

I whispered every prayer I could remember, begged God not to take you from me before I could tell you how much I love you.

I hadn’t said it enough, and I regret every opportunity I didn’t take to tell you how important you are to me. ”

My chest tightened with emotion as he continued.

“You are my heart, Alison. You’ve always been.

My little girl. My little princess. Every achievement in my career, every building I’ve designed, every prize I’ve received, none of it matters compared to the pride I feel when I look at you.

You are brilliant, compassionate, fierce, and beautiful.

You are everything I could have hoped for in a daughter, and more than I deserved after how distant I was.

So please don’t ever doubt that I wanted you.

I’ve loved you from the moment I knew you existed.

You stole my heart as soon as you took that first breath of life. ”

Tears were streaming down my face now, years of hurt beginning to transform into something that felt almost like healing.

“I have something else to tell you both,” I said, my voice steadier now, despite my tears. “I went to Providence to find her.”

Both of them went completely still.

“You what?” Dad whispered, his face cycling through shock, hope, and terror in rapid succession.

“I wanted to see who she was. The wanted daughter. The result of love. I was bitter and angry, but then my heart melted as soon as I met her. She looks just like me, so much so that it’s scary.

She’s also been struggling, Dad. Really struggling.

Living in a motel, drowning in debt from her mother’s medical bills.

She seems like a survivor, but I couldn’t live with myself thinking that my sister was out there merely surviving while we lived a life of privilege. ”

I wiped my face, feeling something shift inside me just like that day when I met her. “I asked her to come to New York. To take the job you offered and meet her family properly.”

Dad buried his face in his hands, his shoulders shaking as he sobbed. My heart shattered seeing him like this, the man who I thought was unbreakable. “Is she... does she hate me?”

“She’s hurt, but I think that, with time and effort, you can win her heart over.” I reached over and touched his arm. “But she wants to belong somewhere, Dad. She deserves to know that she was wanted, even if the circumstances were impossible. Just like I needed that.”

“I’m proud of you,” Mom said, her voice thick with emotion. “You have such a generous heart. That girl didn’t choose any of this, and she shouldn’t suffer for our mistakes. For my selfishness.”

Dad looked up at me with wonder and gratitude shining through his tears. “You never cease to amaze me, Ali.”

“She’s my sister,” I shrugged. I felt the truth of those words settle in my chest like a missing puzzle piece finally finding its place. “And maybe there’s room in this family for all of us to heal. If everyone wants to truly be a part of it.”

“There’s definitely room,” Mom said, her hand squeezing mine while pride filled her eyes with more tears. “I’m sorry, Adrian. I’m sorry I made you choose. I’m sorry I let my hurt turn me into someone who kept you from both your daughters.”

“And I’m sorry I destroyed us. Our family.” It was the first time I ever saw them admitting to any wrongdoing when it came to their relationship. It had always been about pushing the blame around, punishing each other for the pain they went through.

“I’m here to stay, mon coeur. ” My father said after a beat.

I took a deep breath, knowing that what I was about to say would change everything. But I needed everything to be out.

“Good. Because, since I’m demanding honesty, I think I should give you some back. I have something else to tell you both.” I let it sit in the open, maybe preparing myself or them. “I’m getting married. In a week.”

The silence that followed that statement was deafening.

“Married? To whom?” Mom asked, though her tone suggested she already suspected who the groom was. How wrong could she be?

“Vincenzo Massimo. He’s uh… he’s a Don from California.”

Mom was clearly surprised by that answer, while Dad's face was eerily still at first before it turned red with fury. “Absolutely not. I forbid it. I thought this nonsense would have died along with your father!” He practically yelled at Mom, standing up in his fit of rage.

The genuine fury radiating off of him filled my heart just by seeing how affected he was by the news.

“You can’t forbid anything, Dad,” I chuckled. “I’m twenty-six years old, and this is my choice.”

“Like fucking hell it is. He’s Mafia, Alison.

He’s dangerous. This is exactly the kind of life I wanted to keep you away from.

This is your brother’s doing.” He paced the living room like a caged animal, mumbling his contempt in French.

“Your mother’s family, their world of violence and crime.

I never wanted any of it to spill onto you, and now look. I won’t let you be dragged into that.”

The irony wasn’t lost on me. Here he was, in the same situation again, trying to protect me from the very world that had once threatened the woman he loved.

“It’s not your choice to make,” I said calmly, even though my heart was racing as I stood up and blocked his path to force him to stop and look at me. “And I’m asking you…” My voice caught in my throat, “I'm asking you to walk me down the aisle.”

“Walk you down the aisle? To marry a criminal?”

“To support your daughter on the most important day of her life.” My voice hardened with determination. “You can either be part of my life as it is, or you can choose to stay out of it entirely. But I won’t apologize for who I am or the family I belong to. This is me, Dad. Take it or leave it.”

The choice hung between us, heavy with the weight of everything we’d just shared.

“She’s stronger than you think, Adrian. She’s a Battaglia, whether you like it or not. This world doesn’t break us.”

“I almost lost her once already,” he whispered, his fear palpable as he slumped back onto the couch in resignation.

“And that’s exactly why you need to be there for her now,” Mom replied. “She needs her father.”

Dad looked at me for a long moment as his anger slowly gave way to love and acceptance.

“If this is truly what you want. If this is the path you’ve chosen, then of course, yes. I’ll walk you down the aisle, my love. I will always choose you, mon coeur. I’d rather be part of your life than lose you entirely.”

I flew into his arms like I did when I was just a little girl and the world seemed too big and scary.

And in that embrace, I felt like that little girl again.

The one who used to run to him after nightmares, who believed her papa could fix anything.

For the first time in years, I felt truly safe in his arms.

I purposely left his question unanswered because I didn’t want to lie. I did want him to walk me down that aisle, but I couldn’t tell him how much I wished for a different groom.

“I love you, Dad. All our complicated, messy history aside. I love you.”

“ Je t’aime, aussi, mon coeur ,” I love you, too, my heart, he whispered into my hair. “More than you’ll ever know.”

“I love you, too, Mom. And not because you’re going to plan the wedding for me,” I said, shooting her a naughty grin.

“I don’t remember agreeing to that. But since you said you loved me, I feel like I’m obligated now,” She teased back.

“You can do whatever you want. My only imposition is that everyone wears white and only white.”