Page 44 of Angel of Light (Lords of The Commission: New York #5)

MAX

This was the day I’d been dreading since I arrived in New York over three years ago. Since I first laid eyes on Alison and my heart decided that she was worthy of so much more than the deception I’d come to trap her in.

How could fate fuck me over like this?

I’d given up a lifetime with her so she could have her freedom, just for another cage to trap her.

Only this one had thorns and a heart that bled for someone else.

Vincenzo will stop at nothing to get Camila back.

He was as obsessed with her as I am with Alison, and that fact made him both unpredictable and lethal.

And now he had a son to blur that moral line even further.

Truth be told, I couldn’t blame him. I’d do the exact same thing for the woman I love, if not worse.

Why haven’t you?

It’s like I could hear her ask me. Like she did in California when I fell asleep inside her. Why can’t you fight for me?

I was a fucking coward. Too scared that my ghosts would come for her instead of taking action and making sure they couldn’t take another breath. No more.

“James?” I said as he answered on the first ring.

“I thought you’d be calling, but fuck, that was quick.” He replied as a form of greeting.

“Well then, if you were expecting me, I'm sure you know why I’m calling.”

“Got a pretty good idea. Stay put tonight, or I’m losing a piece of myself that I’d rather have attached to my body?” His tone was light and jesty, but not a single cell in my body felt the slightest amusement, never mind enough of it to actually smile.

“That’s right. Don’t answer the phone if she calls, either. I’ll deal with it.”

“Got it, Boss.”

I hung up the call, waiting for Alison’s car to turn at the green light. I was following her even though I didn’t need to in order to know exactly where she was headed. I’d bet my life that she’d end up in a certain Penthouse Suite of The Marquis.

There was no doubt in my mind that her brothers and a couple of our men would be following suit, but there was no one better equipped to handle Vincenzo than I was.

Even if that weren't the case, I’d happily be the Kevlar that shielded her from enemy fire.

Because that’s exactly where she was going.

Straight into enemy territory, where the floor might not be lava, but he’d find a way to make her combust. Melting resolve into hesitance.

And that was a deadly sin when my dearest brother was concerned. He preyed on uncertainty, using your demons as a way in. I’d seen him do it more times than I could count.

So of fucking course I’d be following her into his trap.

Alison drove through the city’s streets like she was chasing her future, tires hissing over the asphalt, weaving through traffic like she couldn’t wait to reach her destination.

I kept my distance. One car behind. By the look on her face when she left the office, I wouldn’t put it past her to make a detour just to trick me into following her somewhere else.

I double-checked the Glock under my seat and the backup piece in the glove compartment. If Vincenzo so much as looked at her the wrong way, I’d put a bullet in his knee and ask questions after I burned the damn suite down.

By the time she pulled up to The Marquis, I’d slipped into defense mode. My heart couldn’t make it past those rotating doors. I wanted to be wrong about the damn bomb, but now that I knew he was the one who planted it, I couldn’t risk not being absolutely focused and rational.

I parked just behind her and stepped out. Alison was already halfway to the entrance when I caught up.

“What the hell are you doing?” she asked, her voice clipped and harsh, never faltering on those angry steps that ate the distance to the foyer more quickly than I’d like.

“I’m not letting you walk into a lion’s den alone,” I replied, not looking at her.

Instead, I scanned the lobby. Three men in tailored suits.

One by the elevator. One near the bar. One pretending to read a magazine.

How fucking cliché. “You can hate me all you want. But I’m not standing back while you walk into a possibly fatal meeting with the man who used you as bait. ”

Alison didn’t answer. Whatever reasoning she’d replied on her way over, it had overlooked the fact that she almost died at his hands.

Her silence was a begrudging agreement. She was pissed at me and agreeing with me was not something her pride allowed at the moment.

We both stepped into the elevator, my hand never leaving the gun at my back until those doors closed behind us.

The air inside that car was thick enough to drown in. I could feel her glancing at me, the need to ask me more, to yell. But she didn’t. She held it in. Her button nose stuck in the air as she ignored me as best she could.

A sense of déjà vu crashed through me, and before I could think further, my hand slammed on that stop button, halting the carriage mid-ride.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“We need to talk.”

Alison chuckled in disdain, her head caught in a loop of nods that spoke of nothing but scorn.

“I know you must hate me right now, but I’m begging you, don’t do anything stupid in there. Don’t put yourself on the line like you did before. Vincenzo is not a man you should underestimate.”

“You should know, right?” She bit back.

“Yes, I should know. And that’s exactly why I’m here. I know his game, I know how to play it and not get burned. But you don’t.”

“I don’t need your protection. I don’t want it, either.”

“I know you’re angry, but you need to listen to me.”

“I can’t believe we’re here again,” Alison started, ignoring everything I’d just said, “With you trapping us in a damn elevator as I make my way to my fiancé. The only difference from then and now is that now I know all your true colors. From light to dark, I know it all. And you know what? It’s not even the darkest tones of your sins that make me stumble. It’s the lies, Max.”

“Alison–”

“Not the crime. Not the killings. I just hope you never told them you loved them before you buried them.” As soon as her words left her mouth, her eyes went wide at the realization of what she’d said.

They were sharp and cutting, hitting me right in the chest. She was definitely out for blood. “I didn’t mean–”

“I know what you fucking meant,” I spat back.

Even though I was saying the words, I couldn’t help the bone-chilling tone used to deliver them and the lack of chill in my demise.

She was referring to me lying about loving her, and honestly, I didn’t know what hurt the most, her doubting that she was my fucking world, or the fact that she used my secrets against me.

“I’m sorry,” She said, and I stared at her for a second before slamming my hand on the stop button again, never averting my gaze from hers as the elevator jolted back to life.

“No. Actually, fuck that.” I blocked the elevator again, “I might not have the right to be pissed right now, but that doesn’t change the fact that I am.

I’m going to let you in on a little secret so that you can hopefully understand what’s going on in my fucking heart.

When we went to California, that night I slept in your bed…

I’d just come back from visiting my mother’s grave for the first time after I buried her.

The first fucking time, Alison. And do you know why I finally went?

Because I needed to tell her about you. About the woman who made me want to build a fucking life.

Who made me want to wake up for something more than blood and duty.

I told her you were fierce, and stubborn, and too damn good for a bastard like me. ”

My voice cracked, but I didn’t care if she heard the emotion in it. She needed to know.

“I told her I’d give you up if it meant you’d be safe. That I’d watch from a distance just to be sure you were. But I can’t watch and not perish. There’s no oxygen without you.”

I looked down, my chest heaving, my hands clenched like they could hold the broken pieces inside.

“I laid flowers at her grave and told her I wanted you pregnant with my baby. That I’d try to be the father I never had, even if I had to make it up as I went.

I told her I wanted to grow old beside you, even if I never deserved it.

That I’d kiss your fucking stretch marks and worship every scar this life gave you. ”

My throat closed in on itself as I tried to choke out the words.

“I told her that loving you hurts. That it made me afraid. That I fucking prayed, because for the first time in my life, I had something to lose, even if I had nothing at all.” I looked up at her, everything inside me laid bare, stripped to my bones.

“She would’ve loved you, Alison. Just like I do. Just like I always will.”

I stood there for a moment, my eyes locked on hers as tears welled up under her lashes.

Taking a pronounced step back, I gave her the space she wanted while I tried to refocus and not allow those words to corrode me inside before slamming my hand on the emergency button again.

I saw the hesitation as she leaned in to follow me before her gaze settled on the floor, and she slumped back onto the wall behind her.

Before I could think about it further, we reached the penthouse floor.

Fabio and Fabrizio were stationed like statues by the door, just as before, and for a moment, I thought the tension might snap right then.

They reached for their weapons, and so did I.

I stepped in front of Alison without hesitation, gun raised, pointing right at them.

“Don’t,” I said, calm and cold. “I didn’t kill you before because we have history. Point that gun at her, and you won’t live to see another day. Don’t fucking test me on this.”

Fabio stiffened, glancing past me to Alison. Fabrizio didn’t even make a move. What happened a few hours ago was child’s play compared to the blood bath I’d happily start if they dared to stick a gun barrel in her face.