Page 42 of Angel of Light (Lords of The Commission: New York #5)

ALISON

It was hard to breathe with how loaded the air was in this office.

No.

It was my chest threatening to cave and succumb to the hole Max had driven right through the center. But I couldn’t break.

I thought that kicking him out would make it easier to push through the betrayal and focus on what brought me here, yet my heart was heavy with all the unspoken words I needed to scream at him.

How many lies can a person uncover in one day and not feel like the reason for them to exist? Was I that fragile that everyone around me felt the need to conceal the truth to protect me like porcelain? Well, a fucking elephant just walked into this china shop!

I walked across the office and stood facing the window, my arms crossed around me like they could hold me together. As if everything inside wasn’t already cracked and threatening to disintegrate. Taking a few calming breaths, I replayed my new reality in my head over and over and over again.

Max was a Massimo.

I was fucking my fiancé’s brother. I could live with that one, as twisted as it was.

He could have taken his brother’s place but didn’t. Right? No. I’ve never seen them on good terms. Vincenzo would have never asked him to do so.

The moment I turned around to face my brothers, I was bulldozed by the expressions on their faces. Matt had guilt swimming in his eyes, while Liam’s uncertainty had his body tense. The silence that filled this place weighed more than any loaded gun.

“Why didn’t you tell me about Adrianne?” I asked, forcing myself to focus on something else.

There was no heated rage in my words, no accusation in my tone. Just the need for the truth, a single honest word in the midst of all this deception.

Matt looked at Liam first. It was an automatic gesture. The kind of silent question siblings pass between each other when they’re about to dive into something that could rewrite history.

Or break it.

“I wanted to,” Matt finally said, voice low, rough. “I went to Providence to know what we were dealing with first.”

“I know you went to see her,” My voice broke in the middle of that sentence. “Why?”

“When I found out, I needed to see for myself. I was angry, Alison. At dad for not telling us, for keeping his bastard child a secret and tucked in the middle of nowhere. For belittling us and being a cheating motherfucker. Then I realized he didn’t know he had another child.

Adrianne isn’t to blame in any of this, and I wanted to make it right.

To talk to her and find out if she wanted to get to know her family. ”

I waited, my heart pounding in my ears.

“But her mother wouldn’t let me near her.

Anne shut the door in my face and told me that if I so much as stepped on their porch again, she’d go to the police.

” His jaw tensed as he spoke. “She said she had records. Letters. Photos. Fucking recordings. Of what, I have no clue, but she knew everything about us, and she kept it all. She had enough proof to destroy all of us, so I stepped back. It was their prerogative. We couldn’t shove a family that was never there for her down her throat. ”

I didn’t realize I was holding my breath until I finally exhaled. “You didn’t get to speak to Adrianne at all?”

Matt shook his head. “Anne never let her out of her sight. I saw her from a distance, but that was all.”

“She told Adrianne we were dangerous,” Liam added, speaking for the first time.

“That we were a family of criminals, and she needed to be protected from us. When Matt came back, we didn’t say anything in fear that we’d break you.

We figured it was better to leave it alone.

That maybe you were better off not knowing. ”

“Why?”

“Staining Dad’s image in your eyes wasn’t worth telling a truth that didn’t want to be told.

There was no reason for us to make you hate him.

You’ve always wanted to be his little princess.

We saw the efforts you made to become everything he wanted you to be.

And we watched you weather away, too. We should have never allowed that. ”

“I’m not made out of glass.”

Liam stepped forward and cupped my cheek, “You’ll always be our baby sister. We will always protect you with everything we’ve got, even if that means protecting you from yourself.”

“I don’t think I need that anymore. What I need is to know that I belong, and that means no more lies. No more gatekeeping. No more shielding me from pain. Can you promise me that?”

Liam placed a kiss on my forehead and nodded while Matt spoke in the background, “We promise.”

“How did you find out about her?”

“Nonno told me. He’d been sending them money, enough for rent, groceries, the basics. When they refused to take it, he paid the bills before they even got to the house.”

“And why would he do that?”

“Because he felt guilty. He knew Anne was struggling to raise Adrianne alone. And because our grandfather gave Dad an ultimatum back in the day. End the affair, or he’d ‘handle’ it.”

I swallowed hard, picturing the way he’d handle the situation, but couldn’t hold myself from asking, “Handle it?”

“A Mafia princess’s husband having an affair made Nonno seem weak.

Like rules weren’t followed in his own house, never mind his reign.

When Dad asked for a divorce, he stepped in.

Meddled where he never should have. It only ended with them in a messy divorce anyway, and a kid raised without knowing who her father was.

Not to mention all the shit you witnessed.

I’m sorry we weren’t there to protect you from that. ” Matt replied.

“We know Anne struggled with health issues for the better part of her life, which landed her without a job and a ton of medical bills,” Liam finished.

I stared at both of them, struggling to reconcile all the pieces of my family that had been kept locked away from me for years.

“She died. Anne, I mean.” I stated.

“We didn’t know that,” Matt said, his tone truthful.

“That’s how Dad found out. Adrianne was instructed to call Mom if anything happened to Anne.

I’m guessing she was relying on her motherly heart to find a way to help her.

That’s how I found out. I didn’t mean to, but I overheard Mom telling Dad, and he wasn’t faking his shock.

” I paused for a moment before I opened up completely.

If I was going to trust they could keep their word to not hide anything from me again, I had to live by those same rules, too. “I went there. I saw her.”

“Ali–” Liam was about to start their normal sugar coating. I could see it in the way his brows were pinched together in worry.

“She’s struggling, Liam. She’s staying at a motel that might as well be a dump site. She hardly has any money in her bank account and a ton of debt. And we’re over here lighting Cuban cigars with hundred-dollar bills and drinking whiskey like it’s tap water.”

Matt smiled. His lips spread generously as if I’d said something funny. “What?” I asked, a little too harshly because I did not expect what he was about to say.

“I’m proud of you.”

“Proud of me? Why?”

“Because I’m sure you’ve convinced her. I can see it in your eyes.”

“Convinced her?” Liam asked.

“Didn’t you?”

I shrugged because I didn’t know the answer to that question. “I’m not sure. I’m waiting for her to decide.”

Liam looked between us, puzzled, “I thought we’d agreed to no secrets. That goes for code words, too. Spill.”

“It’s not my fault you didn’t inherit the looks or the brains,” I taunted, “I asked Adrianne to move to New York. Dad had already offered her a place at AD, but she wasn’t convinced.

She thought he was doing it out of obligation now with Anne gone.

She didn’t know he only found out about her after Anne’s death.

” I sighed at how fucked up it must have been for her to think her father didn’t care.

I knew the feeling all too well, but still, he came to at least some of my birthday parties.

I got to see him. Got to hug him and call him Dad.

She had none of it.

I felt abandoned so many times, and yet he was here. I couldn’t even begin to understand the dismay of knowing you’re unwanted.

“I told her that her place is with her family. Fucked up as we are, we stand by our own, and she is one of us. I want her here with us. Adrianne deserves to know where she comes from. She deserves more than living paycheck to paycheck when she’s got our blood in her veins.

Assuming she managed to get a job in that small town. ”

Matt leaned against the desk, his face softening, that glint of respect still plastered in his half-smile. “She looks so much like you. I saw a picture Nonno once managed to snag as I went through his things. I never got close enough to really see her.”

“She’s prettier,” I replied, earning a laugh from Liam. “Only, she missed out on the Dornier eyes. Hers are big and brown. Sad, but hopeful at the same time.”

A few seconds went by as we stood in silence, and a foreign lightness filled the room. I knew the heavy lifting wasn’t over yet. Something told me part of it was pacing the hallway outside of this office, waiting for me. And honestly? I didn’t know how I was going to handle that situation.

“Alright,” I started, clapping my hands once, ridding myself of the thoughts about Max because right now wasn’t the moment to break, “One last chance to come clean. Is there anything else I should know?”

“Umm, no,” Matt replied while Liam side-eyed him suspiciously.

“How much do you remember from when you were six?”

“Just a couple of images from the shooting range. A few things about the house.”

“Does the name Giana ring a bell?”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Matt snapped, his eyes bulging in warning.

Liam chuckled, rubbing his hands, a wicked glint in his eyes. “Come on, man. It’s time.”

“No. You swore you’d take that story to the grave.”

“You promised no secrets.” I pushed.

“That’s not a secret. That’s pure humiliation, and no one needs to know.”