Page 16

CHAPTER 16

blue

I glanced over at the ridiculously tall sucker who swore he was my best friend. I was beginning to believe it. He’d scrambled, helping me set everything up for tonight. Now he sat there with me in the open Seddledowne air, on the bleachers where my family and Anna had watched me play a lifetime ago, six hours from Knoxville simply because he was my friend.

The intercom crackled to life. “Tonight we’d like to give a shout-out to a former Seddledowne alum, Blue Bishop, for paying admission for everyone to enjoy this game.” The crowd went wild.

“I love you, Blue!” A lady I didn’t know yelled off to my right. She blew me a juicy kiss. I gave her a smile and a wave.

I glanced at Stilts. “This better be worth it.” Not only had I paid for every single person’s admission, I’d paid another fat sum to Janica Bolden for pretending like she had COVID. And fifteen thousand to have the high school gym repainted. That’s the only way I could get Silas to promise that Anna would be the one handing over the crown. The man was enjoying watching me squirm.

Stilts chuckled. “It might not pay off tonight. Anna’s a classy girl. You might have to put in the work for a while.”

I clicked my tongue. “If you’re so wise, why don’t you have a girlfriend?”

He tossed a piece of popcorn in his mouth. “Waiting for the right one.”

Just then someone plopped down on the bleacher right in front of me. Crap. Brooklyn. Tally sat on the other side of her in front of Stilts. I heard his breath hitch.

“How’s our resident douchebag tonight?” Brooklyn asked. “Been enjoying dating yourself?”

“Suck it,” I snorted. I felt okay doing that. In the last few days, I’d started remembering more. One thing I remembered was that I had liked Tally and Brooklyn. Brooklyn was cool because not only could she dish it, but she took it right back.

“Get your own line, Dory.” She flicked my kneecap. “Well, we just stopped by to say hi and point you up to our girl who is looking particularly gorg tonight.” And then she pointed to Anna, who looked otherworldly in her Stallions blue dress, her hair in an updo. Her makeup must’ve been done by a voodoo doctor because I felt a stab right in the middle of my heart just looking at her. She was that beautiful.

She was sitting halfway up the bleachers in the middle, with a dark-haired toddler on her lap. She was smiling up at a really attractive blond guy, who was standing off to the side talking to her. I normally wouldn’t call a guy attractive but he was ridiculously so. Like cologne-model nice-looking. I would’ve felt a pang of jealousy but he looked older, and he had his hand around the waist of a tiny, beautiful blonde. His other arm was holding a baby girl on his hip. It took a second, but then I realized I totally knew them. Holden and Christy. Wow. They had kids now.

My eyes landed back on Anna. Gorgeous Anna whose smile, I realized, appeared as forced as the one I’d been giving everyone all night.

“Yeah. That’s right, Déjà Blue,” Brooklyn said. “You coulda had that. If you weren’t an idiot.” Another flick to the kneecap. “Oh, and just so you know, Anna calls you Blucifer in her sleep.”

Blucifer ?

Tally confirmed it with a pity nod. “We recorded it a couple of times for evidence purposes if you really want to hear.”

Wow. “No. I think I’m good.”

Brooklyn hopped up. “See ya. Wouldn’t wanna be ya.”

“Hi,” Tally said but not to me. She was talking to Stilts. Then she gave him a little wave before following Brooklyn back up the bleachers.

“Blucifer?” Stilts and I said at the same time.

Stilts chuckled for the fiftieth time tonight. “She’s really pretty.”

“Tally? Yeah. She’s nice too. You should get her number.”

“Yeah. I should do that,” he said, but he just sat there, staring at the field, waiting for play to start back up.

I held up my hands. “There’s no time like the present.”

“Serendipity.” His head bobbed.

I waved my arms around us. “This is serendipitous. Same place, same time.”

“J.K. I’m back,” Brooklyn said, dropping onto the bleacher in front of us again. She looked at Stilts. “My friend Tally thinks you’re cute. She wants to know if you’d like her number.”

I guffawed and cuffed him on the shoulder. “There’s serendipity and then there’s Brooklyn.”

She glared at me. “Don’t act like we’re friends. We’re not friends, okay? Not anymore.” She snapped in my face. “Or did you forget what you did to Anna?” Then without missing a beat she said to Stilts. “Do you want it or not?”

Stilts glanced at me, his right brow raising in a slow arch.

I nodded. Tally was a good person. When she’d moved to Seddledowne in tenth grade, she’d been pregnant. But after placing her baby for adoption, she’d worked incredibly hard to thrive again.

He scratched his eyebrow. “Yes?”

“Good answer. You do. Tally is quality.” She held out her hand. “Phone.”

He reached into his pocket and handed it to her. Fifteen seconds later she was done.

She pursed her lips and hopped to a stand. “See ya later, Harry Blotter.” She cackled as she walked away. “The Boy Who Blanked.”

I shook my head, laughing. I didn’t know what else to do.

“Man, she’s something else,” Stilts said. “Freaking terrifying."

“She’s loyal.” I bumped his shoulder with mine. “This is perfect. You get in good with Tally and you can get her to put in a good word with Anna.”

He grunted, staring at Tally’s number in his phone. “I hate this part. Do I wait two hours, two days, or go for it now like an overeager fool?”

I turned to glance in the girls’ direction and caught Anna watching me. Her gaze darted off to the left but my insides erupted in hopeful fireworks. Tally waved. Brooklyn flipped me the bird.

I turned back to Stilts. “Overeager fool. Maybe by the time the game is over you’ll get up the guts to talk to each other in person.”

“Hi, Blue.”

I swiveled my head in the other direction to see Christy and Holden. I hopped up, grinning. “What’s up, P. Thorn?” I went in for a hug, which she was totally up for. I forgot how tiny she was.

“It’s A.D. Dupree now,” Holden said, pulling me in and pounding me on the back.

“A.D.?” I said to myself trying to figure out what that stood for.

She tilted her head, smiling. “Athletic director, remember?”

I honestly didn’t, but I nodded anyway.

“You don’t.” She laughed. “It’s okay. It happened right when you left.”

I pointed to my head. “Things are coming back in random, chaotic order. There’s no rhyme or reason to it.” Just then a four-inch long scar on her arm caught my attention. “I remember that though.”

She held up her arm for inspection. “Yeah. That day is seared into all of our memories.” She leaned into Holden looking safe and happy.

I stretched, popping my back. “How are you guys?”

Holden beamed. “Good. Really good. Our littles are with Granny and Gramps.” He nodded in that direction and I looked to see a slew of Duprees up by Anna. His mom and dad waved, a blond kid on each lap. I waved back. Holden grinned. “We watch all your games.”

“Like all ,” Christy laughed. “He won’t let us miss any.”

“You’re fun to watch and it’s cool that we actually know you.” Holden slid a possessive hand around her waist. They were always like that. Very pro-PDA couple. It made me happy to see they were still going strong.

“Oh hey, this is my buddy Madden. He plays for Knoxville too.”

Stilts stood and shook their hands. “Nice to meet you both.”

The four of us turned when the crowd across the field cheered as an opposing running back bolted for the end zone, scoring their third touchdown of the second quarter.

The loudspeaker crackled. “Touchdown Honeyville Eagles.” The announcer sounded depressed. “Could we please have all those involved in tonight’s homecoming festivities head to the left side of the bleachers and line up behind Mrs. Ross?”

I bomb-whistled. “I thought you were supposed to play the worst team in the district for Homecoming.”

Christy leaned in and whispered, “We are the worst team in the district, unfortunately. We’re in a rebuilding year. We lost twelve seniors. All starters.”

“Oof.” I laughed.

Holden kissed her temple. “Worst team with the hottest athletic director.” Then he tilted his head. “You better go on. It was good to see you.”

“You too. Oh.” I snapped my fingers. “Thank you,” I said to Holden. “For saving me from signing that terrible contract.”

“Absolutely. Anytime, Blue.”

I turned to go, but Christy caught me by the elbow. She smiled. “Don’t give up. She’s a good girl. If you grovel long enough, she might give you another chance.”

Holden winked and tipped his head at his wife. “She would know.”

“Thank you.” Then I took off. Anna’s updo was already disappearing down the stairs. I sped up, but there were ten people between us. Everyone and their dog stopped me on the way, asking for autographs, wishing me a quick recovery, asking where Mom and Colt were. At home, comfy in the house I’d had built for them last year, apparently. Colt was on JV but couldn’t actually care less about football.

By the time I arrived in line, the second-quarter clock had run out and Anna was already through the gate. The Stallions football team exited, their heads hung in shame. Poor guys. Wished I could get on the field and help them out. Even with my head injury, Stilts and I could probably whoop some trash.

Mrs. Ross, who I immediately recognized, smiled at me, her massive blue eyes sparkling. “Well, if it isn’t my favorite third-person omniscient narrator.”

I laughed. Mostly because Anna was ten feet away and I could feel her watching me and I knew it would make my dimple appear. She was a total sucker for my dimple. “I’m still traumatized by Lord of the Flies , Mrs. Ross. Spoiler alert,” I said in the narrator’s voice I used to break into in her class, “the entire class had PTSD years later.”

She laughed. “It stuck with you though. See, that’s a good book.”

She was right. I’d hated that book but I remembered it, which was saying something in my current state. As she walked off, I gave my head a little shake. Because I realized I remembered a lot more than just that terrible book she’d made us pick apart for a solid month. I remembered playing here. And looking around, I recognized most of these people. Maybe it was the clean Seddledowne country air, or maybe it was being home, but I felt at peace here. Apparently, my mind did too.

Mrs. Ross, now standing by the players’ bench, picked up the microphone and began announcing the Homecoming court. Another teacher I didn’t recognize and decided must be new, waved me over and pointed for me to stand next to Anna. Absolutely yes. I walked to the spot. Then I shoved my shaking hands in the pockets of my dress pants and watched Anna from my periphery.

I needed to say something. I’d paid a lot of money to get her here tonight and it was time to get a return on my investment. As of now, even three feet between us, she was acting like I didn’t exist. I closed my eyes and breathed in her perfume. Something about the scent was familiar. Honeysuckle. When was the last time I’d smelled it? The memory was immediate. On her back deck here in Seddledowne, the night I told her I was moving.

The sun had just set. It was late spring, with almost no humidity yet. We were stuffed full of Lemon’s pasta primavera and her granny’s key lime pie. There was a light breeze that kept picking up the ends of her hair.

Anna closed her eyes and inhaled, leaning her head on my shoulder. “It’s almost summer. Do you smell that?”

I sniffed, the sweet scent tickling my nose. “Honeysuckle.” I pressed a kiss into her hair and pulled her closer to my side. I could never get enough of her.

She giggled. “Yeah. And now the bullfrogs are croaking in the river bottom. The only thing missing is?”

“Lightning bugs,” I murmured, running the tip of my nose up her cheek.

“Fireflies,” she corrected.

I shook my head. “You’re a traitor to the South if you don’t call them lightning bugs.”

“Ohh-kay.” She slapped a hand against my chest and started to get up.

I clamped down, holding her in place. “Where do you think you’re going?”

She smiled, pressing a kiss to my nose. “To see if Lemon has any jars before I forget. I have big plans for us this summer. Mainly, you and me out here every night, catching fireflies.” She patted my knee, trying to stand again. Again, I held her next to me. “Blue,” she laughed in frustration. “We’re going to need a jar we can poke some holes in the top of, so the little cuties can breathe.”

I grabbed her face and stole a kiss, letting it linger, her peach gum a perfect punch to the tastebuds.

“You’re obsessed with lightning bugs,” I said when she pulled back.

“Fireflies. Yes, I am. I love how they’re on a mission to find their one true love.” She cupped my face in her hands, looking into my eyes. I could almost make out her amber irises in the soft light coming through the sliding glass door. “I already found mine,” she whispered.

I was suddenly gripped with indecision. No, I’d made the decision already. There was no backing down now. “Hey, I need to tell you something.”

“Of course. Anything.” Her thumb brushed along my jaw, her eyes so trusting.

I was going to crush that and I hated it. My dad’s words replayed in my mind. “You could be great, son. You could go pro. But that’s not going to happen if you stay in Seddledowne. If Anna loves you, she’ll wait.”

Dad was right. Anna would wait for me. We could make long-distance work. Our love was strong enough.

I smoothed her hair back. “You know I love you, right?”

Her head tilted, her forehead tight. “Yeah?”

“Anna.” I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’m moving. To California. In three weeks.”

“Haha. Funny joke.” She smiled. But I just stared at her, watching the truth of my words sink in…

I shook my head to clear the memory. Because the pain and the tears that followed were not something I wanted to remember. I would’ve been okay if that memory had disappeared forever.

I looked over at nineteen-year-old Anna, standing tall on the edge of the field, shoulders back, head held high, eyes straight ahead. She was no less beautiful than she’d been on that back porch. Probably more, if that was even possible. But she was different. Harder in some ways, softer in others, more stalwart, less carefree. How much of that was because of me?

“You look really pretty.” I managed to force the words out despite the lump in my throat.

Her eyes flicked to me. “Oh. Thanks. You too.” She laughed and then stamped it out. “You look nice.” The compliment came without emotion. Like someone judging a science fair, impartially.

“This year’s homecoming king is…” Mrs. Ross paused for dramatic effect. “Matthew Jones!” The crowd erupted and I barely heard any of it. I couldn’t stop looking at Anna. My chest aching from straight-up want.

She glanced at me, confused. “That’s you.” She nodded to the field. “They’re waiting.”

My head gave another shake and I walked forward, leaving Anna behind me. Mrs. Ross shoved the king’s crown in my hand and pointed for me to continue walking. I strode to the fifty-yard line, cut right, and put the crown on the head of some kid that I’d never seen before. The folks in the stands cheered. Then I walked past, giving him the spotlight.

I turned and watched as Anna walked out to the field, the queen’s crown in her hands. She wore a smile that looked like a mask trying to cover up the pain. She carefully placed it on a girl named Chloe. Again the crowd cheered. Like me, Anna walked behind the queen and king, standing five feet from me.

Something about her face just then, expressionless, like she was holding her emotions back, sent a flood of memories into my mind.

“What happened to all your pizza delivery money?”

“You have to come for Christmas. You promised.”

“I’m not letting you spend your savings on me.”

A gust of Seddledowne wind filled my lungs and all of a sudden I remembered.

I remembered everything .

The breakup. The heartbreak after. The years of realizing what a fool I’d been. Her family. My family. Signing with Knoxville. My dad and the part he’d played in everything. Lacy. All the girls during and after her. I glanced into the stands. Madden. Stilts’s name was Madden Alexander Frist. He was the best freaking friend a screwed-up kid like me could’ve asked for. He loved hockey, and he wanted to go pro. I chuckled, and my hands went to the back of my head as the weight of the void that had frustrated my brain lifted, filling my mind with every single thing I’d forgotten.

Silas was at the edge of the field, a conflicted look on his face as he watched me standing next to Anna. Crap. I’d let him down when I’d embarrassed her. No. Broken her on national TV. I loved that man. Had mad respect for him. He’d never let go of me completely after Anna broke up with me. He hung on, sending me texts every few months. And how had I repaid him? By humiliating his daughter-niece in front of the entire world.

I looked around. This place. This school. This field. I loved it all. Loved these people.

Did I regret moving to California? That was a hard one. I never would’ve made it to Knoxville if I hadn’t.

I chuckled again. Anna’s stare pinballed to me, curiosity in her expression. I smiled and she glanced away. California had taken me away from her but now I was at a fantastic school, playing for a team I loved. I did. I loved Knoxville. Somebody could slice me open and I’d bleed orange and baby blue. And no, I didn’t want to go to Austin. Not even to make my dad happy. Every play Coaches Whitlock, Shelton, Jersey, and Cook had taught me came back to my mind. The problems I’d learned in my Differential Equations class this semester came screeching into place. Everything. All of it. All at once. In an overwhelming, wonderful rush that made me want to raise my hands to the sky and sing hallelujah like a Southern lady in church.

I looked at Anna one more time as the school song played.

Oh yeah. I remembered the breakup. Like a hard slap in the face…

I remembered every horrible, heartbreaking word.