Page 43 of All The Way Under

CHAPTER NINETEEN

saylor

“Why am I so nervous? My hands are actually clammy. I didn’t know that was a real thing. It’s absolutely disgusting,” I say, checking my outfit in a full-length mirror.

I’m at my parents’ house, in my childhood bedroom, because my date with Brody is tonight, and I wanted everyone around me for moral support.

My mother sips her drink from a chaise nearby.

“Because you’ve been waiting for this night for a year,” she says. “I think the other dress was too look at me . This one is understated. You are beautiful in both, though. Which bikini did you put underneath?”

I lift the dress. “Baby pink crochet, not full coverage, not a thong, a cheeky bottom. Does it scream desperate?”

She shakes her head. “No, red is desperate. This is perfect. Oh, that reminds me. Let me fetch the box. The chauffeur went and picked it up from the jeweler.”

I got Brody a gift. Like, a proper love gift that I hope doesn’t freak him out. Mom comes back ten minutes later and hands it to me.

“I love you, Saylor. I don’t say it enough because something about saying those words itches my windpipes, but I love you, and I’m proud of you.”

I hug her. Bless this crazy woman. She would lay down her life for me, but maybe not if she was wearing couture.

“I love you too, Mom.”

This year changed all of us. Our perspectives shifted in a way that brought us closer. We understand each other more.

Brody was right. I needed this time. I needed him to set me free. I hated it, but the reality check saved us all.

“I say a lot of stuff about stuff, but follow your heart,” she whispers. “He’s not a dumb man. Don’t be nervous.”

I face myself in the mirror as she leaves, and I worry. I put on makeup and a pair of deck shoes, even though they don’t go with my dress, because they make more sense than wedges.

The drive to the marina is quick, and I park next to his truck. I toss the jewelry box into my tote bag with my laptop and transfer cords, because I’ll never go on the water without my programming again. I see the boat from the parking lot. Brody is on a step stool hanging lights as I walk up.

“Those friend lights look pretty romantic,” I say, letting my voice carry on the slight breeze.

He hooks the strand and steps down, turning with his hands on his hips.

He has on a white linen shirt and khaki shorts. His hair is longer than it was the last time I saw him, and there’s a five o’clock shadow around his jaw. He’s had time off.

He’s had time off, and he hasn’t called you , my subconscious hisses.

“You’re early,” he says. “And that dress doesn’t look very friend-like either,” he says, licking his lips.

Damn. I’m in trouble. Exactly where I want to be.

“Let me help you up.”

He extends his hand, and the view of him, at sunset, is something out of a fairy tale.

“I’ve been working on this all week long,” he says, pride evident. “I wanted it to be perfect for our date.”

Tears well.

“It is so perfect, Brody.”

The details. The flowers. The soft lights. The high-tech equipment that looks like he stole from work.

“You do know the way to my heart.”

That slipped and wasn’t very friend-like, but at least he knows how I’m feeling.

“I can’t believe you did all this for me.”

He lifts and lowers one shoulder. “There’s a whole picnic down below. It was no big deal.”

He reaches out an arm, and I think he’s going to wrap me in his arms, but instead says, “Here, let me take your bag.”

My stomach sinks. Is this really a friend date? I’ll die of embarrassment, and then I’ll perish altogether if it is.

He takes it, and I follow him down to the berth where there are electric candles, more flowers, and all my favorite snacks. I take off my shoes.

“You stay here and have some snacks. I need to finish up, and I don’t want your help.”

“I was supposed to be captain,” I say.

“If this isn’t perfect, I’ll never forgive myself, so just do what I say.”

“So grouchy,” I say. “Fine. Aye, aye, captain.”

His eyes light up. “God, having you here doesn’t feel real.”

I pop a grape in my mouth. “Oh, I’m here all right, and I’m ready to date.”

His smile turns into something feral. Yes . I recognize that. My stomach leaps.

“Be right back,” he says.

Another grape. A piece of cheese. A gummy bear. I can’t eat much. I’m stuck in a feedback loop, operating in a place I’m not familiar with these days.

The hull groans and adjusts, and the creak of dock lines releasing tells me we’re off.

The water laps in a calming slap, slap pattern.

There’s a thump as the mooring line is pulled in.

More calmness and peace fill me. There’s a palm-sized velvet bag on the board of food and the temptation is too strong.

I peek inside to see my bracelets. The ones I left in his mailbox when I never thought I’d see them… or him, again.

The picnic is set up on the bed, and there’s a small bathroom down here. It smells like new construction has taken place. As I look at my bracelets, I wonder how long it took for him to know that he’d give them back. How long until he knew I’d be on this boat with him.

I call up, pulling my sweater out of my bag. “Can I come up yet?”

“Yes!” he calls back, faint with the wind and the water rushing around us.

He has music playing as I come up, something soft and classical. The sunset is magical. Although it always is, this one feels special.

“We won’t go out too far. There’s a perfect cove to anchor that I checked out yesterday.”

“Foxglass Cove?” I return, standing next to him so my shoulder brushes his.

He seems intent on the water and the navigation, so I keep talking.

“While we weren’t together,” I say, clearing my throat.

“I saw a fundraiser for Conner and Turner. They both lost their jobs while they were captured. I donated and made sure they’d be set up for a long time.

I just…the guilt was too heavy. We didn’t worry about that kind of stuff, you know?

It was anonymous, so they don’t know it was me.

I didn’t want recognition, but I hope they figured it out. ”

He smiles down at me warmly.

“That was really nice of you, Saylor. There’s no guilt to be had with that, though. They may not have escaped at all if you and I hadn’t shown up. They got their lives back. I’m sure they’re thankful for that,” he replies. “Yes, Foxglass Cove. That’s the spot. I should have known you would know.”

We stay silent, appreciating the view as we near the cove, thinking about the rescue and the brothers. I help with the lines as we approach, and he lets the anchor down when we’ve reached the correct depth. The land blocks the wind, and the water is glass still here, hence the name.

“I’ve never been on a sailing date before, believe it or not. This has always been a dream of mine.”

“I kind of hoped that was the case,” he says.

When we’re finished with the tasks the boat requires of us, he stops on the deck, hands on his hips, nothing else to distract him from me. Us. This chemistry crackles between us.

“I should have done this before. A year ago.”

“You would have crashed us into a house if you did this a year ago,” I tease. “Turn around and look at me.”

He’s staring off at the horizon.

“I used to think the world was flat when I was a kid because I couldn’t see what was beyond there, you know?” He points. “I’d watch the sun set and think it just vanished below dirt because I couldn’t see where it went.”

“You didn’t have a lot of faith as a kid,” I reply. “A flat-earther, I never would have guessed!”

He shakes his head. “It’s hard to put faith in something and end up being wrong.

I eventually got to science class, and it was proven to be round.

When you and I broke up a year ago, I thought that was it for us, and then you showed up at Nolan’s wedding.

There you were—a burden of proof. That no matter how hard I tried to distance myself from my feelings, your mere existence proved me a fucking liar. ”

He turns, and his blue eyes sink into my soul.

“Because when I look at you, I feel forever, Saylor. When I touch you, it brings me to life.”

He takes a step closer. I can smell his cologne and taste his breath now.

“When I left you, I lost part of my heart.”

I put a finger up to his lips.

“It’s okay. I’m here now. We’re together.”

I replace my finger with my lips. His hands slide up to the sides of my face, and his lips taste like home. The kiss is short and sweet.

“You know that I came back because we were meant to be together, and you were right. You truly were . I needed to sort through my life and fix aspects, and you were right .” He holds my face close to his as I speak. “You were wrong about one thing.”

“What?”

“Love is enough. That’s what this is. I could have met you on the street, and it would have felt like this.

I went to therapy because Bronwyn was going to disown me if I didn’t, and the therapist said I was right.

The things I said about you and how I feel aren’t because of some trauma bond.

It’s what true love is supposed to be. Textbook. ”

He lets go of my face and steps away so he can see me fully.

“You were busy this year,” he replies.

I wave my arm. “Back at you. Mark told me that you were also deploying more than usual as well.”

“It was fast and furious. But if I were going, then that meant someone could stay back who wanted or needed to stay back home. It just worked out, I guess. And I did this in between. Even me trying to forget you led me to pick up your favorite pastime. Should have known we were textbook,” Brody says.

“I’m not going to be deploying much now, though. ”

“Why? Isn’t that what you do? What you live for?”

“I put my name in the hat for shore duty,” he says, clearing his throat. “I have so many good years and ops under my belt, it was no question. My commander granted my request instantly. That means I’ll be working on base here, supporting my Team from home.”

I can see in his eyes that he’s still getting used to this idea.