Page 23 of All The Way Under

Brody’s lips feel like a drug. Even though I have nothing to compare it to because I don’t partake in party drugs like most of my friends, I know addiction when I taste it. His tongue slips into mine, and I swear I feel his pulse, his desire, the chemistry buzzing from his body into mine.

Opening my eyes to watch him turns me on even more.

“If we weren’t in grave danger with an audience, I would take you right here and now.” He grins, leaning in to kiss my collarbone, then my neck.

I exhale loudly. Brody kisses me once more, pulling back to look me in the eyes. They’re blue and pure, and for maybe the first time, I don’t see a shield. Nothing separates us.

Maybe I don’t know the whole story about his past, but in his eyes, I can see forever. As corny as it sounds, and as insane as we must look right now, given the circumstances.

“If this were a movie, we’d be about to die.”

Turner yells. “We are about to die,” he says, panting loudly.

Brody swivels his gaze.

“Aren’t we?” Turner asks now that he has Brody’s attention. “Answer her first question and stop thinking with your dick. Where do we go?”

Collin shakes his head. “This could be our only chance. Our last chance. This has to work. We need to get home.” The sentence is desperate. A plea. Brody lets me slide down his body and places me on the ground.

“You have both. You know the truth,” he whispers, shaking his head. “You’ve known it all along, Sweet Pea.”

I swallow down the ball of emotion in my throat and merely nod.

“Promise me we will make it through this. You’ll find me.”

He nods sternly once. His face shutters.

“Let’s move to the water. The docking area we came to when we first arrived.

It’s not monitored like the west dock or the beaches.

It’s where they’ll expect me to be once they see the lay of the base from above.

That was agreed upon before I set out on this crazy mission.

Follow me,” Brody says, loud enough for the brothers to hear.

He takes my hand, and we run again. He pulls me, running quicker than my shorter legs can handle.

I listen to my heart pound in my ears and try to focus on his hand in mine.

I didn’t get enough of this version of Brody, and even though it’s insane that he could have gotten us out of here days ago, I agree with the reasoning.

The waterfall wouldn’t have happened. I wouldn’t believe love could grow so strongly if we hadn’t had the extra time.

A gunshot ricochets from behind us. I don’t turn to look because Brody does. I focus on keeping my footing.

Another shot. Then another.

I can see a matte black helicopter on the sand at the end of the trail we’re on.

It’s a funnel, though. There’s nowhere to hide unless we go inside the jungle on the left or right.

Then Brody pulls me to the side, entangling us in the wild brush and thick green plants.

He pulls the gun from the waistband of his pants, lunges out of our hiding spot, and shoots.

My cap is still on his head, backward, and it takes a full second for the thought to clear and for me to realize this is bad.

“Collin is down,” Brody says. “Stay there. It’s Ravelo. He’s hiding. I need to take him out.”

I don’t have time to protest. Brody leaves me in a wet bush that probably harbors three types of insects that can kill me and one snake that wants to make me dinner. This is the only alternative to being on the trail.

There are more gunshots what feels like minutes later, but rationally I know only seconds have passed. I’m sweating, my clothes are covered in wet mud, and nothing feels real anymore. It’s hard to remember who I used to be and what I found important. It all feels trivial after enduring this.

Brody’s teammates, in full camo uniforms with guns and helmets, run past my hiding spot, heading toward the sound of gunfire. One of them notices me. His eyes go round, and he looks like he’s terrified of me for a beat or two.

“I’m Commander Orwell. We are here to save you. You are safe.”

Seeing other people who have no ill intentions is baffling.

“Okay,” I say. “I’m Saylor,” I say, extending my hand.

He shakes it, then pulls me out onto the trail. Brody jogs up, and the radios on the other SEALs are making so much noise that I know they must not be worried about being quiet.

Brody looks at me, then his commander. Brody has blood splattered on the left side of his face and neck. There’s some on the hat too.

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” I say, wrapping my hands around Brody’s waist.

Commander Orwell looks at Brody oddly. “Good to see you alive, well, and covered in blood, McCoy,” he says, then clears his throat when his gaze drops to me. “Why don’t you take her to the bird, and we’ll get the other two.”

I pull away. “Are the brothers okay?”

Brody’s face looks grim. “Ravelo shot Collin in the leg, and Turner is not handling it well, but we have a medic with him now.” He shakes his head. “It’s going to be fine. They’ll be okay. Don’t worry about them.”

He wraps an arm around my shoulder and walks me down the path to the helicopter.

“The kind of fine when women say, ‘I’m fine?’ Or like, he’s actually going to be fine?”

“Too soon to tell,” Brody answers honestly, helping me up the rungs on shaky, tired legs.

I sit in one of the seats in the back, and the shock sets in. Brody watches me closely.

“Saylor, you’re going home. You should be happy.”

How do I tell him my happiness is tempered with the unknown?

I don’t know how to go back to my normal life after this.

I don’t know who I am after the spell we spent here.

My time on this island changed me. I don’t know how to wake up alone or work alone.

I don’t know how to be without Brody. Without him, what does tomorrow look like? A year from now?

The sweat slips down Brody’s face as he looks at me, one eyebrow jutting up when I don’t answer whatever question he asks.

“How am I supposed to do life without your mean, sarcastic mind and body, McCoy? Is that your real last name? He just called you that.”

A crease forms between his eyes.

“It is. Everything will work out how it’s supposed to work out,” he says. “Don’t worry yourself with that. Focus on the fact you’re leaving, and you’ll be reunited with your parents in Europe soon.”

“Where will you go?” I ask, hearing the hysteria in my voice. How far I’ve fallen to become this kind of girl. The clingy type.

He lifts one shoulder up and down quickly.

“Back home, I think. Sag Harbor to see my parents, my brother, and dog, and then back to work.”

“That’s it?” I ask, feeling my breaths come faster. “What about the details?”

Brody’s face changes, and he turns away to look out the door at the mob of SEALs swarming the beach. He looks back at me.

“I care about the details,” he replies. “I care. Maybe I haven’t for a long time, but I do now.” Brody’s jaw works as he thinks. “Tell you what. You go back to your life and settle back in. If you still feel the same way about me after some space and distance, here’s my number.”

Shaking his head, he grabs for a pen and rips a piece of paper off the corner of a paper map. He jots down his number and gives it to me, crunched up. His hand lingers inside mine.

“I want this to work, but this is my life.” He waves a hand next to him. “You are in shock, and this is far from your normal.”

“This isn’t your normal. Come on,” I argue.

He widens his eyes. “It is, though. This or something like it.”

He takes a bottle of water from a cooler between the cockpit seats and hands me it. I open it, marveling at it for a second before twisting off the cap and guzzling it down.

I notice he doesn’t drink one. He’s worried about me.

A SEAL pops his head in.

“Mark,” Brody chirps, grinning. “I didn’t die,” Brody proclaims. “Ta-da, motherfucker!”

Mark looks at me, then back at his friend, a half smirk playing on his lips.

“I don’t know about that. Commander said otherwise.” The grin widens. “A different kind of death?”

“Well, you going to get us out of here then?” Brody asks.

Mark introduces himself to me, slowly, like I’m a child just understanding language. It’s then that I realize I am indeed in shock, and they knew it before I did.

“I don’t want to leave her. Can you give me the radio, and I’ll send a quick debrief and give pertinent details?”

Mark detaches his radio from his chest and thrusts it into Brody’s waiting hand.

I watch him closely, as if I’m seeing him for the first time, and in a lot of ways, I am. He speaks into the radio, first introducing himself to whoever is on the other end and then using abbreviations and acronyms for things that I don’t understand. Which is a feat.

Not to flatter myself, but I know a little about a lot of things, but watching him, with the dang backward hat, relay information I have no clue how or when he collected, forces me into a realization. He is so much more than I initially gave him credit for.

I’m enamored. I’ve fallen for this man in all ways.

Even through the shock of everything around me, his face and his voice ground me.

“I love you.”

I blurt it out like an absolute psychopath. In front of his teammate. In front of God and country. Not my country either.

Brody stops talking, but he doesn’t look at me. His neck works as he swallows, and beads of sweat drop down his face.

Then he slams his eyes closed as if my words inflict absolute torturous pain.

I realize swiftly, maybe they do.