Page 38 of All The Way Under

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

saylor

“I hate everyone,” I wail, covering my eyes with my forearm when Bronwyn presses the button to open my bedroom drapes.

I’m staying at my parents’ house until the new wave of publicity dies down. While I also have a home nearby, I like to stay with them, and now, it’s just safer.

“I don’t understand why I can’t call him and tell him why I’m not calling him.”

My face is red and puffy from crying.

She sits next to me in the bed, rubbing my back.

“Keeping him in the dark is the only way this works, Saylor. Why don’t you go work on the boat Dad got you? Get your mind off him?”

“The boat? The boat reminds me of him now. Everything reminds me of Brody.”

I cry again, a little less jagged this time, because I’m fresh out of tears.

I said fuck no to Archie, but after Brody left the party in a rage, our PR said we need to run with this new story.

It would be beneficial to Brody and his family and friends if the world thinks I said yes to Archie Beaumont.

“I miss him. I miss his voice. I miss his angry little tirades when I get snippy. I miss everything. How much longer do I have to pretend, Bronwyn?”

“One outing with Archie. Today. We’ve hired paps to take some photos so they can run with it, and then you can go to Brody and explain everything.”

Her voice is tired. She’s been dealing with me because I’m angry with everyone else at the moment.

There’s no way Bianca wasn’t in on the proposal.

I bet she and Bitsy schemed for a week straight about how it would play out.

Those crazy bitches actually thought I’d say yes to Archie with Brody, a real man, my man, standing right next to me.

“The way it happened gives me nightmares. I still can’t believe he had the gall to ask me.”

“I heard he had a change of heart about breaking it off with you when he realized that not only did you have Wyndham money, but you were also independently wealthy and made your own fortune with ATWU,” Bronwyn explains.

“It makes it worse. These guys are the pariahs of society, I swear. I bet he went to his girlfriend’s house the second he left here. ”

I scoff and wipe my nose on my sleeve.

“You know Bitsy had a hand in this. She probably told him about ATWU and how I was branching off on my own. There’s no way he’s smart enough to read the news,” I hiss.

“He got through college on the Beaumont last name, manipulation, and cocaine. For the first time in my life, I have a real man to compare him to, and there’s no comparison, Bronwyn.

Like, none at all. Brody is patient and real.

So real it aches because I know I hurt him. ”

“No, Archie did. The people we’re surrounded by hurt him.

” Bronwyn exhales. “I know what you mean. When I first met Edmund, and he didn’t try to manipulate or gaslight me, it confused me because we’re so used to that callous behavior that it’s normal.

I know what you mean when you say real. I promise you. ”

“I know you know. That’s why I hate you,” I say, laugh-snorting. “You got out of here, and you got love.”

“Okay,” Bronwyn says. “Answer this question right, and I’ll go talk to Brody.”

I sit up in bed and get lightheaded. “Ask it.”

“If I tell him you said no to Archie and you are madly in love with him, will he be able to lie to the press sufficiently? Like, if they ask him, how do you feel about Saylor’s engagement to Archie, will he be convincing enough?

I know he’s a SEAL, and they’re supposed to be experts in handling stuff like this, but I’m here to tell you he was anything but cool, calm, and collected when I was talking to him during the proposal. ”

She pauses. I wait on bated breath to hear more.

“He was crushed, Saylor. I don’t think he has any sort of self-preservation when it comes to you.”

I’m already nodding. “He can lie. He can be mean. He won’t answer the questions. I’ll go on the date and smile for the damn photos, if that’s what they want, as long as you go talk to him and tell him I miss him and this had to happen.”

My sister shakes her head sadly.

“Why are you sad?”

“I feel bad for you. I know how hard you’re going to have it.

Mom and Dad followed their hearts, but it almost feels like that right wasn’t granted to us.

You remember the hard time I got for marrying Edmund, even though he was wealthy?

He wasn’t Mom’s first choice. You choosing Brody is going to complicate things. Especially for him.”

Her brown eyes meet mine.

“Are you saying we should break up?” I ask, mouth ajar, unable to process.

“No, because I know you’re too deep for that, but know he’s the one who will make the sacrifices, Saylor.”

My stomach sinks. “I don’t want him to make any sacrifices for me.”

She blinks once, then again.

“Therein lies the reason we’re guided to the multiple-choice options in our world.

It’s easy for both parties when it makes sense.

Mom isn’t as callous as you think. I’m not defending what she did, only giving you the reason she might have allowed it to happen in the first place.

Sometimes it’s not as simple as it should be when money gets involved. ”

I shake my head. “I don’t want easy. I want him.

He’s the right person for me in all of the ways.

He sees me, Bronwyn. The person who I really am, not what I present to people to hide.

I’m sick of pretending I’m someone I’m not.

I’m myself with Brody, his brother, and Catherine.

It was freeing to just be able to be myself without any false pretenses.

If you have that with Edmund, you must want that for me too. ”

“I do. That’s why I’ll go against Mom and their PR firm for trying to fix the mess you got us in in the first place.”

“Hey, this isn’t just my mess. The Wyndham attorney situation heightened it.”

She nods. “That’s true.”

Bronwyn throws my covers back, exposing my bare legs. I’m wearing one of Brody’s T-shirts and panties.

“I’ll go tell Brody if you want me to, but Saylor, have you truly thought of the consequences he’ll face for being with you?

I love you more than anything and want you to be happy, but I need to know you’ve thought this through before we complicate things more.

You’re an educated woman. I trust your judgment implicitly, but sometimes love has a funny way of blinding us to things we should see.

” She clears her throat. “You see, right?”

I stay silent. I turn from my sister and look at the ocean view from the tall, expansive window. Standing from the bed, I run my hands through my tangled, long hair. It’s a mess.

Everything is a mess.

My new sailboat, even more ostentatious than the last, bobs in our harbor. It is a taunting of sorts. I slam my eyes closed.

“I could walk away from this. I have my own money now. I could move away with him.”

“His life is here, Saylor. His base. His family. It’s here. You wouldn’t take him away from that.”

I hear her stand from my bed and walk to stand next to me.

“Plus, you can’t leave your family. You’re loved.”

“So…marry Archie and be miserable? Try to forget true love exists? That’s the easy, safe option?”

Bianca is the one who responds. “No. That’s not an option. Archie Beaumont is an evil nitwit. I prohibit you from entertaining that proposal in the least,” she says, clomping on my hardwood with her high-heeled mules. “Saylor,” she deadpans.

I spin, my discontent evident in every fiber of my being.

“Bianca,” I reply.

She looks out the window, then back at me, the resolution finalized.

“I want to apologize for the part I played in what happened at the party with Archie. I stayed away this long because Bronwyn said it would be best to give you space, but I heard this whole conversation because I’m nosy, and you need to go get that man.

I don’t care what’s easy, or what everyone thinks, or what the PR team says.

This has gone on long enough. If it’s meant to be, it will be, no matter how hard it is. ”

“You mean that?” I ask, unable to hide my shock.

She presses her lips together. “Do I lie, Saylor?”

“Yes,” Bronwyn and I charge at the same time.

She rolls her eyes. “Oh god, white lies don’t count. Those are required to keep feelings and save face.”

I have to hand it to her. She’s acting civil and normal, so I believe her.

“If I listened to all the people in my ear about your dad, you wouldn’t be here right now, so I mean it. This suffering has gone on long enough.” Mom looks at me up and down. “And I’m not sure how much longer you’ll last looking like that.”

There she is.

“I love you, and I know I don’t always show it, but I mean that too.”

“I love you too, Mom,” I reply.

She approaches slowly, steps tentatively, then she wraps me in a hug that lasts longer than any I remember in recent memory.

“You do need a shower. And a toothbrush,” she adds. “Some Givenchy perfume and a nice sundress, and you’ll feel like a billion dollars.”

I step out of her embrace.

“I shouldn’t worry about how this will affect Brody?”

“Let him worry about that. We’re Wyndham women. Men make a way or make room. Trust in your heart.”

“Wow, Mom. This may be the best advice you’ve ever given,” Bronwyn says, letting a giggle slip. “It’s almost an out-of-body experience hearing it.”

“Yes, well, someone had to tell her the truth, and you were doing a poor job of it. Oh, we sold all of the paintings, in case no one told you.”

“Thanks, Mom,” Bronwyn replies. “Thanks for the party too. Edmund is over the moon. He had a feeling the paintings sold would provide enough capital for another studio.”

Bianca Wyndham returns, smiling at Bronwyn. “I aim to please. There was also a very sizable donation sent to the Special Warfare command too. In Brody’s honor, for his part in saving you.”

I sit on my bed and scrub my hands down my face. I do need a shower.

“It feels like so long ago. A dream almost.”