Page 24

Chapter 23

A Parade of Consorts

Pulled from a deep slumber by the sound of my mother knocking on my door, I woke groggily.

“Wake up, Alula. We need to get you ready. Your first visitor will arrive soon.”

Blinking my eyes open, I saw light peeking through the narrow windows. I was lying across the top of my bed in my night slip, covered in a soft blanket I didn’t remember pulling over me. I recalled being unable to settle last night, waiting up to see if my mother or brother returned. Eventually, I’d laid down for a moment to ease my aching head. All the drama of the day must have caught up with me.

A quick scan of the shadows still deepening the corners of my room revealed they were empty, although a faint scent of apple blossoms lingered on the air, bringing with it an unfamiliar ache mingling with disappointment.

Rolling away from the windows, I groaned inwardly. I did not want to meet my contested consorts today, or any day. I knew my mother would be back any moment, though, regardless of how I felt about it.

A wash of frustration followed. I’d spent the brief time I had with Nier last night wrapping my body around him and stealing comfort from him instead of asking questions. I had to remind myself there was no world where the two of us made sense, no matter how badly my body was beginning to crave the way his touch grounded and calmed me, which was a revelation in itself. My body had never responded to anyone the way it did to Nier. I didn’t even want to think about what his heated look and a simple dip of his head had made me feel. My brief liaison with Haniel had been sweet and full of discovery, if a little rushed, but it had never elicited the whirl of sparks inside me, nor the breathless anticipation that Nier’s almost kiss had done.

If that’s even what happened. I had very little experience in these things. Maybe he’d just had a crick in his neck from looking down at me.

Closing my eyes for a moment, I expected the overwhelm I had felt as my light had surged last night to swell to the surface again; only, it had dissipated like mist while Nier had held me. Admitting out loud to him that I no longer wanted to be a vessel had been a liberating relief.

It had always been unattainable; I could admit that now.

The only trouble was that I had no clue who I was on the other side, and my circumstances hadn’t changed. I still had to play a part, only now, I had to smile while doing it and deal with emotions that seemed to surge as fast as my light rose.

A familiar stroke against my palm had me lifting the blanket to see I had my shadow clutched in my buried hand. I was becoming far too reckless. Whoever had thrown the blanket over me could have seen it.

“Alula!”

Slipping off the bed reluctantly, I padded to the door on bare feet, knowing I couldn’t hide any longer. “Coming, Mother.”

As soon as I opened the door to my room, my mother pushed through, already dressed and styled to perfection. She carried a large pitcher of water that she used to fill the round basin on the dressing table. When she was done, she moved straight to my wardrobe and started rifling through dresses.

“We have a show to put on today, Alula. We need to pretend everything is fine and you are delighted to have so many offers. It will give us time to figure out a new plan. Can you do that?”

“I can give you shy and awkward at having so many offers?” I suggested as I splashed lightly scented water on my face and arms before drying them. Honestly, it was probably the best I could manage.

My mother stared at me over her shoulder before she narrowed her eyes in thought. “That might work, actually. The less you say, the better. Elder Welkin’s son is one of your contested consorts. Nobody knows much about him as his flight keeps to themselves; I only know it appears to have caused some friction between them. I’ll have to see if there’s some way we can work that to our advantage.”

At the mention of Elder Welkin, I slumped on the edge of the bed, hairbrush in hand, realizing it was likely I’d have to see him again today. What I’d seen in his eyes last night had differed from anything I’d seen from him before, almost as if he’d lost control of himself—or finally revealed his true self.

Even if my eyes were opened to his madness and I was free of my need to win at his game, he was still a threat to me.

“Don’t worry. We’ll figure it out,” my mother said. She hesitated before she reached over and grasped my other hand, seemingly unsure of what my reaction would be. I squeezed her hand, willing to take any comfort I could get right now, although I wasn’t sure if her aim had been to reassure me or herself. “We’re not out of options yet. Your father is coming tonight.”

At the mention of him, my mind kicked into gear again. With everything that had happened yesterday, I hadn’t had time to dwell on the revelation I had a father who wanted to meet me. I’d grown up with an indifferent mother. Even if I knew why now, it didn’t negate all the painful years of enduring her treatment of me. What if my father didn’t like me? It felt like such a silly thing to worry about given everything going on, but I couldn’t help it.

“What’s wrong?” my mother asked, blunt as always.

I looked at the door to see if someone else was entering, only to realize she was addressing me. “Uh, nothing.”

Everything was wrong, but nothing in particular in this moment.

She tilted her head as if puzzling me out. “That face screams something.”

“I beg your pardon?” I dropped her hand, and under the guise of brushing my hair back, I subtly tried to pat my face, wondering if something weird was going on with it. “What’s wrong with my face?”

“Alula. Your face is beautiful.” She sighed, grabbing my chin to angle my face toward her. “You’re just very expressive. Most Neven keep themselves composed. I know you learned to hide it fairly well around Elder Welkin, but if you have any strong emotion, everything you feel is right there on your face, and you seem to be full of emotion today.”

“Oh.” Nobody had ever told me that before. Surprise flared, as I actually felt quite calm this morning, compared to last night. I tried to compose my face so it wouldn’t show.

My mother waggled her fingers at me with a frown. “Okay, whatever that was, don’t do it again.”

“Then what do I do?” I asked, pulling my chin free from her grasp. “I haven’t allowed myself to feel anything for years, but now everything is making me feel, and shoving it all down doesn’t seem to work anymore.”

“You may have unconsciously shoved your emotions under the block on your memories, effectively blocking them too. Now that it’s gone, you’re feeling everything again without having developed any better ways to cope.”

Great. “That’s probably why everyone always seems to know what I’m thinking.”

A soft, rare smile bloomed before she sobered. “Alula, wielding is closely tied to our emotions. It’s one reason the elders try so hard to break acolytes and force us to wield only through sigils. They don’t want us knowing our power. It’s something you usually learn more about when you become a vessel, from another vessel.”

“How do you remain so stern and focused, then?”

She winced at my words, but I hadn’t meant them harshly. “I spill it all into the pool. All my fear, my uncertainty, my rage…the pool washes it all clean so that I can bear another day.”

“Oh.” My heart ached. There was so much to my mother I didn’t know.

The urge to hug her rose, but she spun away, breaking off our conversation. I wasn’t sure her coping mechanism worked any better than mine had—she seemed as uncomfortable with her emotions as I did. Or maybe there were just more secrets she didn’t want to reveal on her own face?

Either way, she had wanted to change the conversation. If I was going to learn more from a vessel, I suspected it wouldn’t be from my mother.

“So, what am I wearing today?” I didn’t care. I was just hoping there was some decent fabric coverage.

Not that I’d minded last night’s dress. Before the chaos erupted, it had made me feel beautiful and empowered, as if I’d owned my body for the first time. Yet today was different. I didn’t want to give anyone an opening to get too familiar.

“Do you want to pick one?” she asked as she pulled two selections out.

I looked between the two options. One was pale blue and looked like a waterfall of silky fabric. The other was pale pink and more delicate, with a straighter skirt and fabric roses around the top. My life so far had given me no frame of reference for which one would suit me or what our society might dictate as appropriate. I also suspected my mother used clothing as a statement as well as a weapon. I wouldn’t even know where to start.

“No. I trust you.”

My mother stilled, and her next breath came out heavily before she turned away again, avoiding my gaze. The blue dress went back before she placed the pink one on the bed. I wondered briefly if she’d be visiting the pool today.

“The shade of this one will make you look younger and more naive.” She smoothed the dress with one hand, lost in thought for a moment, before she stepped away. “I’ll leave you to wash and get dressed.”

She was halfway out the door when I blurted out, “You’re staying with me today, right? You’re not actually leaving?”

I couldn’t do this on my own.

“You’re expected to have a chaperone. I’d planned to be with you, to be a distraction if needed, but Consort Mort is insisting if I’m going, he is too…” Her voice trailed off, and she rubbed a hand over her face. “I’ll see if I can call in a favor and get him called away after a while.”

“It’s fine.” It wasn’t ideal, but I’d take what I could get. Maybe he’d be a distraction. He was a lord, and an influential man amongst the nobility. Besides, my family seemed to be piling up the favors on my behalf like they were candy and there was an unlimited supply. If we had favors to pull, I’d rather we used them for something more important.

“Okay. If you’re sure, we’ll proceed as planned. You will meet your first contested consort in a private room to have breakfast. I’ve given them thirty minutes each. It’s going to take us six and a half hours to get through all of them, and that’s without taking a break, so meals will come to you. I figured it would be best to avoid the dining room today anyway.”

Today would not be pleasant, but I appreciated that a hundred people wouldn’t stare at me while it happened.

“Thank you,” I said. There wasn’t much else to say. This was something we just had to get through. She nodded at me as I squared my shoulders.

“I’ll be back in ten minutes.” She wasn’t messing around today.

I wandered over to the dress. It was demure compared to last night’s, but not by my normal standard. I never thought I’d wish for my old acolyte robe back. My mother had dropped some pale pink lace lingerie on the bed too. I had a quick wash with the water in the basin, grateful it was warm from sitting atop a lumis heating pad. It was a luxury I hadn’t received as an acolyte in our shared dorm.

Once I put my dress on, I realized I faced the same problem as last night. No pockets. This dress also didn’t have a floaty skirt. I raised the shadow I was still cradling discreetly in my hand until I was looking directly at it. It seemed to perk up, if that were possible. I was going to be meeting a lot of people today. I couldn’t risk it being seen in the daylight, yet I didn’t feel right leaving it behind. “You’re going to have to hide, okay?”

I wasn’t sure if it could understand me at all, but it seemed courteous to at least ask. It seemed to waver a bit, and I took that as consent before I pulled the front of my dress away from my chest and slipped it inside to nestle between my breasts. It was the best I could do.

A quick brush of my hair later and I was ready before my mother returned. I’d half expected Haniel to knock at the door and demand to accompany me until I remembered that he’d have his own consort duties today, with Mara. I wanted to talk to her, to thank her for last night and ask how she felt about her own situation, but I suspected it wouldn’t be possible. It saddened me to realize we may not have much contact until we were presented as vessels together in a week’s time.

As I headed out to the living area, I stopped short at seeing a male. I hadn’t realized when my mother talked of Consort Mort attending that he’d already arrived. He had sprawled lazily across the couch, one arm along the backrest and one foot up on the coffee table, and my mother was nowhere to be seen. Being alone with her consort was never a good idea.

“Well, you caused quite the stir last night.” He looked me up and down with an oily smirk. He was wearing a tunic and pants made from a rich, silvery fabric, and enough jewelry to rival Elder Welkin, his fingers weighed down with rings.

My mother appeared at her bedroom door, out of sight behind him, as she fit a dangling, golden earring into her ear. It seemed they were both going all out this morning. She raised one eyebrow to silently ask if I wanted to change my mind about my choice of chaperone, and I subtly shook my head at her. Her consort didn’t look like he’d be easy to remove today.

“Did I? I didn’t notice.” It wasn’t quite sarcasm. There was no intentional snark to my tone like I sometimes heard noble Neven use. I said it politely, but it was still very unlike me, and I’d dared to raise my chin and meet his gaze, which was both incredibly stupid and dangerous. My mother’s eyes widened in alarm.

Anger thrummed when I looked at him, knowing every male visiting me today wanted the same thing. My light rose in response, and I struggled to shove it down and find the mannerisms of the subservient acolyte I’d been the last five years.

His face hardened as he got up from the couch and took slow steps toward me, a lazy predator assessing potential prey. My heart raced as he approached. “Don’t get above yourself, Alula. This is your only warning, because I’d hate to mark up your pretty skin today.”

Dropping my eyes demurely, I focused on the fringing pattern of the pale blue throw blanket on the edge of the couch, hoping it would help smooth my expression. “I apologize, Consort Mort.”

There were no excuses I could make, so I didn’t bother making any. My mother was right. Keeping my conversation to a minimum was the only way I was going to survive this.

“Hmmm.” He didn’t sound convinced, but he let it slide. “I arranged for Lord Hapling’s and Lord Samford’s sons to offer for you. Their fathers are close friends of mine. Either would be a valuable ally for me moving forward and fit in with my plans nicely. You’d do well to remember that.”

This was no hint. It was another threat, thinly veiled. It was clear who he expected me to favor amongst my contested consorts. I wondered if any of the others realized they didn’t stand a chance; not if he had any sway with the elders, and it sounded like he did.

He turned to my mother, and she concealed her shock in time. She’d dismissed his influence amongst the other lords, and he certainly gave off an air of indolence much of the time. I didn’t think she’d known he’d been at least partially involved in last night’s surprise turn of events, which had me worried. He smirked at her too as he held out his arm and beckoned to her. “Shall we, my shiny trinket?”

Walking behind them, I noticed my mother take a subtle side step in the guise of stumbling and kick a small pebble out of the way, only it wasn’t a pebble. It appeared to have been smoothed into a disk and had small etchings on it. It careened away before I could get a better look at it. Her consort tsked at her and pulled her up jerkily while she lowered her eyes and apologized.

We made it to the private dining room with only minimal further fuss, even though Consort Mort deemed it necessary to take a winding route through the most well-traveled passages.

My first contested consort was already waiting when we walked through the door. He’d dressed to impress, in a dark blue tunic and pants that were ornately embroidered with gold thread—a style of clothing usually reserved for evening functions and formal events, not breakfast. The flashing of wealth seemed to be contagious this morning, and the frown marring his face implied he was unimpressed with our tardiness, although he still got up and pulled out my chair for me, which was not something I was used to. He brushed my wings as he helped seat me, making me shudder, and not in a good way.

Nobody remarked on the inappropriate touch as my mother and her consort also sat, because of course, he was one of the favored lordlings mentioned earlier. I was going to have to find a way to stay seated; I wasn’t doing that thirteen times.

A whiff of apples had me closing my eyes briefly before I discreetly glanced around the room, looking for shadows. It was a half-circular room encased by windows with sheer gauzy curtains, so we had a backdrop of sky as a commanding view. Every inch was bright and airy, impossible for Nier to hide within. I looked down at the table and noticed sliced apples and a decorative vase of apple blossoms amongst the breakfast foods. Disappointment had my throat catching, and I had to swallow hard.

“Would you like some fruit?” The question startled me, but the lordling had obviously noticed the direction of my gaze. At least he was paying attention. He seemed to be ignoring my mother’s consort, and I wondered briefly if Consort Mort had overstated his influence.

“No, thank you.” The way that scent made me blush had me turning away, fearing what else might show on my face. There was no way I could eat apples right now without memories of that almost kiss leading to questions I didn’t need.

It didn’t matter. The lordling had already started putting fruit on my plate without waiting for my answer and disregarded it when it came. I politely nibbled on an orange slice to please him, not willing to make a fuss after the threat Consort Mort had delivered earlier. My mother’s consort proceeded to smirk at me from across the table, as if imagining he’d won some kind of victory. When he departed, I mentally ticked one visitor off my list, not knowing if I had the strength to get through all of them.

Unfortunately, Aeron Welkin was next. As he strode in, he didn’t acknowledge my mother or Consort Mort’s greetings, and showed no interest in the food. He merely shifted his chair so he could sit sideways facing me, then proceeded to watch me with the same intent interest he’d exhibited in the past. I kept my eyes focused on my plate.

After a few minutes of deliberate silence, he addressed me with a bland, “Hello, Alula. It’s lovely to meet you, finally.”

“And you, Contested Consort Aeron,” I replied, keeping my small smile demure and my focus on the table. I had no idea if it was appropriate to give him the title rather than use his actual one, but no one objected.

After another few minutes, I couldn’t take his silent perusal anymore. I risked a small glance at him. He was casually leaning his head on his hand, but the smile he gave me was sharp enough to cut. He raised an eyebrow, challenging me to look away. I didn’t, couldn’t. I’d revealed myself, the very thing he’d been waiting on, and now, I’d been caught on a hook.

As footsteps approached, his calculated smile morphed into an amused smirk.

Only, to me, he was no longer the biggest threat in the room. Grabbing a glass of water to take a drink and excuse me from talking, my hand trembled as a familiar voice grated over my skin. “Well, isn’t this lovely and private?”

Elder Welkin strode through the door and stood directly behind me, far too close. He placed his hands on my shoulders, and his bony fingers pressed hard enough to bruise. I was grateful I’d sat with my back to the door, facing the view, so he couldn’t see my loathing written on my face, yet it left me with a predator at my back, as well as on either side of me. Aeron watched closely, as if this was the show he’d been waiting for, the reason he’d angled his chair for a front-row seat.

“Will you be joining us?” my mother asked politely, delicately dabbing the corner of her mouth with a napkin. Hoping his focus was on her, I tried to put the glass back down without spilling water everywhere.

“Unfortunately, no. I have pressing matters to attend to. I just wanted to stop in and ensure everything was going smoothly.” The menace and threat in his tone were clear to everyone. “I’ll expect a full report this evening, Consort Mort. Let me know if anyone behaves unsuitably.”

I didn’t need to see Elder Welkin to know he was looking directly down at me. I realized in that moment that everything, and nothing, had changed. Mara had been right. He still had as much power over me as he’d ever had. Even moving to the town, there would be no escape from him now.

“Of course. As you wish, Elder Welkin.” Consort Mort’s eyes gleamed, and I could almost see his mind turning over all the ways he could turn this to his favor.

“Come, Aeron. I have need of you.” Elder Welkin left without another word, and I let out the air I hadn’t dared breathe in his presence. His son waited a moment before rising lazily and following, but I had no more attention to give either of them or their games.

“That was fun,” Consort Mort exclaimed. He was a fool if he thought getting between Elder Welkin and his arrogant son was a good idea.

The next lordling introduced himself by holding my hand for far too long before launching into a story designed to make himself appear both interesting and important. It failed on both counts. Elder Welkin’s impromptu visit had rattled all the calm Nier had gifted me last night. I could scarcely muster a smile for the annoying male seated at my side.

The fourth lordling was quieter and seemed pleasant enough on the surface, if very hands-on. He grazed not only my wings, but both my arm and hair during our meeting, without even the excuse of serving me breakfast. He wasn’t the worst offender over the course of the day, though. A lesser noble from another wing, who sported oily, slicked-back hair and appeared very vain despite his ordinary looks, reserved that spot. He practically plastered himself to my side, sliding his chair right up next to mine. Consort Mort cut his meeting short at least, escorting him out with a remonstrance for being overly familiar with me. I figured he wasn’t on the preferred list, and everyone knew it.

The two guardians were the most pleasant. Neither were from our wing, but I still wondered that they’d risked incurring my brother’s wrath. They both seemed less interested in me personally, though, and more interested in how being my consort would advance their rank.

More than a few of the males were almost fanatical in the way they watched every movement I made and each breath I took. They made me intensely uncomfortable. By the time the last male arrived, I was restless and tense. I had no idea how my mother endured it every day, with the way every male assumed my body was theirs to do with as they wished now that I was no longer an acolyte. I was used to stares, but their unwelcome touches were something else.

I recalled one day when Haniel, Mara, and I had built a dam when we were young. A small stream had developed in the courtyard from water washing off the roof and walls after a rainstorm. We’d used loose rocks to block it until a pool had welled behind it. When the water had built enough, we’d taken off our shoes and splashed around with glee. The force of the building water had eventually burst through our dam, scattering pebbles and sending a rush of water through the courtyard, much to the dismay of the residents who lived alongside it.

Today, I felt like that pool of water. While I didn’t feel in immediate danger, a slow well had been building within me all day, only this one wasn’t made of water. It was a rising tide of pure, white light begging to be unleashed. Every intrusive, intentional touch and every bland smile that I forced in response while shoving my feelings down had stoked it higher, pulling from deep within me as my body slowly heated.

It was a much slower build than last night, when it had appeared like a sudden storm, but I feared the result would be the same if I didn’t get out of here soon.

“I think Alula needs a moment to refresh herself. We should leave her to herself and join the wing in the main dining room,” my mother suggested to her consort as the last male left, and she eyed me nervously.

Many of the males had been difficult to dislodge from their chairs, and some appointments had run overtime. One had only left when the next male had stalked in and physically removed his rival himself. It meant the dinner service had already started in the wing’s general dining room. I wasn’t the least bit hungry, though.

To my surprise, Consort Mort agreed. I think he had tired of not being the center of attention. He had already stood as he nodded and grunted his assent, having worn out his own pleasantries.

“You can find your way on your own, can’t you, Alula?” my mother asked, already on her way out the door, mask firmly in place.

I didn’t bother to answer. They were already gone.

I had no intention of heading back to sit in her suite alone, though. Not with this light pulsing within me. I needed to figure out a way to expel it or control it, or maybe blow something up with it, although none of those were good options right now. Nier had been the one to help me ease it last night, but he wasn’t here. I was on my own.

While my mother’s words had been deliberately vague, I didn’t think she’d intended for me to go back to the suite either. She’d only said I needed to refresh myself and asked if I knew the way. I’d pushed the chair back, and I was on my feet in an instant as I realized where she was sending me.

The passageways were largely empty, as most of the wing who weren’t guardians on duty were already dining. I only startled one or two stray Neven, and a thrall as I headed to the lower levels.

The vessel bathing chamber would give me the moment alone I craved but would also let me wash off the ghost of every unpleasant touch that still crawled over my skin. I mimicked the pattern my mother had woven to unlock the door, light flaring surprisingly easily between my fingers.

As I wound my way to the bottom of the stairs, the scent of apple blossoms wafted toward me again. I stilled but couldn’t spot any moving shadows.

“Am I cursed to be haunted by that vexing scent forever?” I mumbled to myself as I reached the last step.

“What scent?” came the dark, dangerously low voice from behind me.

Everything within me clenched at the sound as goosebumps ran along my spine.

I was in so much trouble.