Page 44

CHAPTER 44

Ford

I have a pounding fucking headache, and something’s crushing my hand. Slowly, I peel my eyes open and look to my right. My brother is leaning against the wall, his arms folded, and it looks like he’s sleeping. I turn my head to the left, where I find my mother, her hand crushing mine as she stares at me like she’s willing away the grim reaper himself. My father stands behind her, massaging her shoulders.

The moment she sees my eyes, a relieved sigh rushes out of her. “You fucking took long enough. I was about to kill you myself.”

I can’t produce a smirk, but she seems to understand. Fuck, I hurt. My body feels like it’s on fire.

Everything slowly starts coming back to me, and I try to jerk into action. But restraints keep me in place. Not restraints…but tubes, IVs, wires, and the like. I’m in a hospital.

“Don’t push yourself,” My father says, trying to gently shove me back down.

“You fucking idiot!” Hawke says, no longer asleep. He bounds over and pulls me in for a big hug. “I actually thought you were dead. Don’t you ever fucking do that to me again.”

My head spins as I try to recall everything. “Billie. Where is she?”

My mother clicks her tongue and looks away. “Who cares.”

“Where. Is. She?” I growl.

“She’s safe,” My father confirms.

“Yeah, but she ran like a fucking coward,” Hawke seethes.

I lean back, relieved to hear she’s safe. “How long have I been out?” How much have I missed?

My mother looks at her perfectly manicured nails. “Three days. They only removed the tube from your throat this morning. The doctors say you’re lucky to be alive, but I knew you’d pull through. Everyone told me I was crazy for making you both microdose on poisons. But, well, look at us now.”

And I know that means my mother cares. But three days?

I stare at Hawke. “Where is she?” It’s the only thing I need to know. I didn’t think twice about drinking that poison. And, to be honest, although we’d built immunity to poisons over the years, there was no guarantee I’d survive. In fact, I’d made peace with the possibility I wouldn’t.

As long as she was safe.

“We don’t know. She did a runner after everything blew up,” Hawke says. When I stare at him, waiting for more, he clarifies, “Dutton found out.”

Oh. I’m assuming by the response, it didn’t go well. Not that I give a shit.

“Eli?” I ask because I do care about him. I don’t want us to have to start over. I don’t want to take this from Hawke and me, even though I’ve been selfish all this time.

“You still have a job if that’s what you’re asking. But I think it’ll be some time until you’re up for a challenge.”

I smirk. “That, in itself, sounds like a challenge.”

An uneasy feeling runs through me.

She ran.

Although I love my mother and my family deeply, if I was going to wake up again, she was the first person I wanted to see. She was terrified in that room, and maybe it was selfish to ignore her pleas, but I was never going to risk her like that.

I move slightly, and my leg begins to throb, reminding me that I’ve also been shot.

Fuck me, my body’s a mess.

“Where is she?” I ask again.

Hawke and Anya share a look.

“No one knows,” Hawke says.

“Someone always knows where little chaos is,” I reply.

“Not if she chooses to run. Good riddance.” my mother scoffs.

“No, Mother,” I say, trying to soften my tone.

Her forever-etched scowl deepens, and River rests his hands on her shoulders. “They’re not going to be your little boys forever, Anya. You have to let them make their own decisions,” he says softly.

She clicks her tongue. “First, it’s girlfriends, then it’s babies. Then it’s not coming over every week and having dinner.” She begins to spiral, and I squeeze her hand.

“It’s okay. I’ll still come over for dinner. And don’t worry, Hawke will be single forever.”

“Hey!” Hawke says, but it relieves the tension in the room.

“He’s the one I’m most worried about bringing me unexpected babies. Being a grandmother would not look good on me.”

My father chuckles as he kisses her cheek. “Everything looks good on you, Red.”

A shadow looms on the other side of the closed door, pacing back and forth, but doesn’t enter. Hawke raises an eyebrow and opens it to reveal Dutton.

His blue eyes, so similar to Billie’s, find me, and I’m certain he’s about to kill me. That’s until I notice the hand slipped into his. Posie stands behind him, stroking his arm as if to calm him down. I can only imagine how he reacted. He most likely tried to kill me even when I was on my deathbed. I should probably pat down my chest just to make sure he didn’t carve a message into my chest while I was out.

Dutton clears his throat. “I’d like to speak to Ford.”

“You have a lot of balls walking back into this room.” My mother sizes him up.

“Mother, it’s okay,” I say, barely holding her back with my words.

“I’m not leaving you alone in here,” Hawke says stubbornly and leans against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest.

Dutton seems okay with that. My mother eyes him, and my father places a hand on his shoulder as they follow Posie back outside.

Dutton’s jaw clenches as he tilts his head back and looks at the ceiling. Hawke stares at him, prepared for anything. And although the others have become our family, it’s a reminder that, no matter what, it’ll always be Hawke and me. I wonder if part of the reason he can’t accept Billie is because he thinks that will change things between us. And in some ways, it will.

“You touched my sister,” Dutton grits out.

“Among other things,” I reply dryly. His gaze slides to me, and that lethal edge is so close to snapping, but I won’t stand down on this, even if I’m chained to a hospital bed.

For once, I want something for myself. And I’ll get it even if I have to chase after her time and time again.

Dutton stares at me for some time, licking his lips as his knuckles turn white from how tightly clenched his fists are. “If you hurt her, I’ll kill you.”

“Obviously,” I say.

“And I’m not happy about it.”

“Clearly.”

He licks his lips again. “And she’s the only woman you’ll ever be with for the rest of your life,” he warns.

“Always.” I feel that truth in my bones. In my heart. I will always give her all of me, even when she doesn’t want even a portion. Billie’s my addiction, but she’s also my woman. And I will fight heaven and hell to be by her side.

Dutton’s teeth are grinding as he curtly nods, then turns to walk out.

“Wait. Are we good?” Hawke asks, shocked.

Dutton looks over his shoulder at the both of us. “I don’t fucking like it, but you’re already family.”

And then he slips out the door.

“Are you sure about this?” Hawke asks. “I’d be pissed if she bailed on me on my deathbed.”

I smirk because it couldn’t be more Billie, even if she tried. One more cat and mouse game it is.

“I’ve never been any more certain of something in my life.”

This time, I won’t push her away or let her slip through my fingers.

I’ll claim her as mine, not letting her run anywhere else but to me.