Page 23

CHAPTER 23

Billie

“ Y ou’ve been awfully quiet lately. Why?” Ivy says from beside me as we sit in the back of a cab on the way to my brother’s club, Pearl. We’ve been there a few times before, and it’s because Posie invited us that we’re going tonight. I’m hoping to drag her out afterward if my brother lets her out of his sight for more than two seconds. But I know she doesn’t enjoy going out too much because she prefers being home with her son, so this might be the compromise.

“Huh?” I turn to face her.

Ivy sighs, exasperated. “There you go again, off with the fairies. Everything okay? Is it the new job?”

“No, everything’s fine. Just tired lately, that’s all.” I shoot her a small smile. “Did you end up seeing that guy from our double date again? And by the way, I am never doing that with you again.”

She starts laughing and nodding her head. We haven’t seen much of one another this week because our schedules haven’t lined up, and I’m grateful she wasn’t home when I returned to the apartment last weekend after spending time at Ford’s. I went home that night and had a hot bath, my mind running over a million thoughts. And I’ve tried since to forget about it. To forget about him . To reshape my expectation that sex is all we’ll ever be. And it’s fucking hard.

Hope is traveling again but is due to return soon, which will be nice. It’s good to have our trio complete. I don’t think Hope was built for the spotlight like her mother. She definitely acts more like her father with her quiet, solitary ways. I’m certain she takes the time coming back home to recharge.

“Yep. I went over to his place last weekend. They live together, too. Anyway, after we fucked, which was shit, I might add, his friend, the one you went out with, asked if he could join us. My guess is this is something they do often. It was so obvious.” She nonchalantly shrugs. “And I figured, what the fuck? So I fucked them both. Didn’t improve much, but oh well. Eiffel Tower ticked off the list.”

I can’t help but laugh at her ability to always embrace her nature and have the best fucking time doing it. Maybe I need to do the same thing: branch out to other guys beyond just Ford. I’m certain no one will live up to him, though.

If I want anything more than just sex, I have to let Ford go before I get hurt. Because I was hurt the other night and furious at myself for feeling anything more for him when it was me who set our boundaries to begin with. And I still haven’t completely digested the news about his vices and addictions. What does that even mean to be addicted to someone?

But a flush runs down my neck as I think about our time together, the way we can’t keep our hands off one another. And that paints a very clear picture of what that addiction might look like. I cut those thoughts and memories off. God, I need to stop this. It’s too consuming.

“You really fucked both of them?” I ask, then laugh at her smug expression.

“Yep. Would not recommend,” she states, flicking her hair over her shoulder. “Or maybe next time I just need to find two guys who actually know what they’re doing. And who think more about the woman than themselves. Besides, I had to wait for like two hours until he could get it back up. I don’t have the patience to wait around like that.” She laughs.

I laugh, feeling light and free for the first time in ages. I’m so grateful for Ivy. She does what she wants, when she wants, and isn’t restricted in the same ways as me because of my asshole brother. “Well, someone has to do it because I certainly wasn’t going to fuck him. That guy was a dickhead.”

“Look, I wasn’t going to either, but I was bored.” She smirks, readjusting her heels.

“Oh, boredom. Now that’s a worry.”

“Shut up.” She bumps my shoulder with hers. “Do you think there will be any hot guys there, or will it be the usual group?”

“I’m not sure. Posie just said they were closing the venue down for the night to throw a surprise party for the manager or something. Apparently, Posie really likes her and didn’t have to twist Dutton’s arm much. So it’s a free-for-all.”

“Noted. So no hot guys and most likely the usual suspects. I hope the twins are there, at least. They’re always a bit of fun.”

I raise my eyebrows. “It’s desperate times if you’re depending on the twins for entertainment.”

“Oh, come on now. Hawke’s always down to party, and Ford is comical in his serious, stoic way, with his ability to ignore everyone and stare at his phone the entire time. I always wonder what he’s doing on that thing.”

I go quiet because I wonder that, too. He said he’s addicted, and his phone seems to be another vice, but I can’t imagine him to be the type to scroll through social media.

“Oh well. Even if there were hot guys, it’s not like your brother will let you around anyone, so it means ample opportunities for me.” She laughs.

We arrive at Pearl a little late and adjust our dresses when we step out of the cab. Posie themed the party as a red-carpet event, and it’s not like our family doesn’t have plenty of gowns and suits to choose from. I feel like any time we do anything together as a large group, we’re always dressed up. Sometimes I just want to show up in a pair of jeans and call it a day. But I know this is fun for Posie, and that makes me excited as well.

I’m wearing a red dress with a plunging neckline that drapes low at the back and has a slit up to my thigh. I don’t always love getting dressed up, but I love this dress. My hair is curled and blown out, falling over my shoulders.

Ivy and I have already posted our obligatory pic, and we couldn’t look more different; me in my daring red dress, and her in a knee-length, high neck pink dress.

When we step inside the club, I spot Posie straight away, mingling with the dancers. Every time I’ve come into my brother’s strip club, there has been a naked dancer on stage. Tonight, there is a dancer but she’s fully clothed, though she’s clearly drunk and having the best time of her life as another two girls applaud her. I’m envious of how they ooze beauty and sensuality. There’s no way in hell my brother would permit me to do anything like this. He’d most likely burn down any club I even attempted to dance at, even if just for fun.

The moment Posie spots us, she rushes over and grabs our hands. “You came! Come on, let’s have some drinks.” Before I can even say hello she’s dragging us to the bar. Okay, the girl is ready for a party night.

She orders a round of some cocktail she swears by. Everything is free tonight, and two waitresses circle the room offering drinks. I see a lot of men in suits, which tells me that, although my brother approved the party, he’s still mixing business with pleasure, which isn’t a surprise.

“Hello, Daddy,” Ivy purrs as she scans the room.

I laugh. “Calm down. We’ve only been here for two seconds.”

“And I already know what I like.” She chuckles as she accepts the drink and brings it to her lips.

“I’m living through you, girls,” Posie says with a laugh.

“Says the almost-married woman,” I retort with an arched eyebrow. The wedding is only a few weeks away, and I’ve already started making jokes that Dutton is going bald from being a groomzilla. He’s not, but it’s still hilarious.

Posie’s cheeks brighten, and I see the natural glow she has whenever my brother is mentioned. She certainly puts him in his place and challenges him, but she also loves him unconditionally. “I have a surprise for you. There’s someone here I want you to meet.” I gape at her in surprise and Ivy gasps.

“Don’t tell me Posie got big brother Dutton’s permission for Billie to actually talk to a real boy?” Ivy jokes.

“Shut up,” I growl.

“Yes, he knows. And I’ve warned him to be on his best behavior and to leave the judging of who you date up to you.”

My eyebrows spike in shock. “What did you have to bribe him with for that outcome?”

She chuckles and gives me a very obvious expression.

“Pussy power, right?” Ivy says.

Posie nods. “Yes. Sex.” She waggles her brows, then turns me around and points to a man standing next to my brother. “That’s him, and your brother doesn’t hate him, which is a plus. He is a powerful man, which I know your family respects. He owns a large marketing company but specializes in smear campaigns.” I shoot her a puzzled look. “Oh yes. One smear campaign can start at $170,000. Granted, people in Hollywood usually hire him, but I know Crue has worked with him before when he wanted to take over a big chain restaurant.” She shrugs. “He’s young, only in his late twenties, and single.”

“While you meet new Daddy Smear, I’m going to circle the room,” Ivy says, then she’s gone. I admire her for her confidence. And I’m not surprised when she approaches the women on the poles and asks one of them to teach her some things.

Posie pulls at my arm, leading us in the direction of where the men are talking. My brother’s wide shoulders are blocking the view of the third person in the group. Posie comes to a stop beside Dutton and then introduces me to the handsome guy in the cream suit. But it’s not him my heart falters over. Because the third man is…

Ford.

I fix my attention on the newcomer, smiling at him, and hating myself for immediately comparing him to Ford.

He doesn’t get to have that type of power over me.

It’s just sex, Billie. Get a grip on yourself.

“Matthew, this is Billie, Dutton’s sister. She’s the one I was telling you about,” Posie says. The tension around the group thickens, mostly coming from my brother, and I despise the fact that Ford can act so casually. It really shows how little I must actually mean to him. I know he can’t do or say anything, especially in front of my brother, but I expected some kind of reaction.

It’s just sex. I have to remind myself again of that.

Matthew’s gaze locks on me, and I immediately know he’s interested, which is flattering. I try to block out the tatted, leanly muscled man standing just a few inches from me as Matthew offers his hand. I give him mine, and he shakes it gently.

“Lovely to meet you. I’ve had mixed messages on whether I should actually talk to you or not,” he jokes, eyeing my brother, whose jaw is clenched tight. The fact that Dutton hasn’t stabbed him yet is a promising yet strange progression.

Posie threads her arm around Dutton’s elbow with a smile. “I’ll handle him. You two talk. Have fun.” She makes as if to lead Dutton away but then pauses and looks at Ford, who doesn’t seem to be moving. Posie shoots a glance between us like she’s wondering if we’re still seeing one another. She wouldn’t be wrong in that assumption. “Ford, come and entertain Dutton with me.”

Matthew drops my hand and politely smiles at Ford as he reluctantly joins the others.

“I’m not a child,” I hear my brother grit as he’s basically dragged away by the woman half his size.

I can’t help but glance at Ford. His focus isn’t on me, though—it’s on Matthew. And Matthew’s attention is on me, not at all picking up the tension.

“So, I hear you’re a brilliant accountant,” Matthew starts, and I have the impression he’s very charismatic, most likely the reason he’s been so successful in his career so far. I try my hardest to ignore the sensation of being watched. I don’t know if it’s my brother or Ford, but I know who I want it to be, and I hate that I give him that power.

“We are nothing but two bodies who like to touch each other.”

Yeah, go fuck yourself, Ford.

“I wouldn’t say brilliant, but I’m getting there.” I try to sound modest, which is very unlike me. But it’s best to be humble around strangers, especially if Posie handpicked this guy for me.

Matthew leans in with a smile. “I can’t help but notice we’re being stared at a lot. Your brother is really protective, isn’t he?” If he knew the full extent of that protectiveness, I wonder if he’d still be so ballsy. But isn’t this what I wanted? Someone not intimidated by my family?

“Care to walk to the bar with me for a drink?” he asks, though my glass is still half full. Then I realize he’s trying to give us somewhere with a little more privacy. He offers me his arm—very gentlemanly—and I feel that sense of being watched again. I offer a smile and wrap my hand around his elbow.

Fuck Dutton, and fuck Ford. I can do what I want. I’m an adult. I’m single. And this guy seems nice enough so far.

“Your family is quite intimidating.” Matthew chuckles as we reach the bar. “Though I have dealt with powerful people all my life, so I think I can handle them,” he says as I pull my hand away and look at him curiously. I’ve never even seen this guy around my brother before.

“Would you like another one?” he asks, pointing to my drink. I decline his offer, taking a small sip from the one I already have.

“How old are you?” I ask, casually leaning on the bar. Matthew looks around my age, but I’m unsure what his actual age is. Ford is a few years older than me. “Twenty-seven. And like yourself, the baby of the family. My mother is old-school Italian and is annoyed I haven’t found a nice Italian woman to settle down with yet.” I smile at that, remembering my grandfather talking like that back in Italy. He’s dead now, and I miss him, but he was very strict when it came to traditions. Hell, Eli had to be married before he was able to officially take over the entire mafia business. I’m lucky my brother and I were never under the same expectations.

“So, what brings you here tonight? I’ve never seen you around before,” I say.

His drink is handed to him, and he pulls out two bar stools, offering me the first one. I sit on it, careful not to let the slit in my dress show everything I’m wearing—or, more accurately, not wearing—underneath.

Women start cheering on stage, and I laugh as Ivy swings around the pole. An older woman, who I’m assuming is the birthday girl because she’s wearing a sash, is giving her pointers on her grip.

“Posie invited me, actually. I’ve been around, but am based in Los Angeles. I’ve known your brother for almost five years now, and I’ve done business with your family several times.

“When I met Posie, she asked if I was single.” I laugh. Wow, Posie’s really putting herself out there for me, and I’m kind of grateful for it. Had I known the way to get a leash on my brother was through a woman, I would’ve tried to find him one sooner. Then again, I don’t think just any woman would’ve done—it was always supposed to be Posie.

I glance over at them, admiring their love. Ford’s nowhere to be found, which stirs something unfamiliar within me. Disappointment maybe? I refocus on the man in front of me.

“Did my brother try to kill you because he thought she was hitting on you?” I joke.

He raises his eyebrows, and I know it might’ve not been too far from the truth. “Let’s just say she was quick to clarify that she was asking on behalf of his younger sister. His anger didn’t exactly recede even then. I felt like she’d dragged me into a field of landmines.” I laugh again. I can just imagine it. He smirks as he takes a sip. “To be honest, I didn’t even know he had a younger sister. He keeps that pretty quiet. But when she showed me a photo, I knew I wanted to come and meet you. You’re beautiful, and I thought it was worth the risk of getting my throat slit.” I smile at him.

This Matthew guy might not be all that bad.

But he’s not Ford.

I squash that thought immediately.

“So, tell me more about yourself,” I say, trying to push the man I shouldn’t be thinking about out of my mind and focusing on the one in front of me.

I find myself laughing with Matthew; my first impression of him is he seems funny and kind. And if he’s willing to challenge my brother in any way, it’s a bonus.

We probably haven’t even been talking for ten minutes before we’re interrupted.

“Billie.” I turn to find Ford standing there. He doesn’t acknowledge Matthew; his gaze is intently on me. “I have something to show you,” he says, then turns and walks away. I’m actually gobsmacked that the asshole has this kind of audacity. He tells me we’re nothing but sex, then pulls me away from a man who might be willing and able to offer me more.

Matthew seems confused but stands up.

“I’m sure whatever it is, it can wait,” I say defiantly.

Matthew smiles. “It’s okay. I think I’ve monopolized enough of your time. I don’t want to push your brother over the edge; he looks like he’s about to blow a fuse.” I follow the direction of his gaze, and sure enough, Dutton’s staring at him with the intensity of a lion stalking a gazelle.

“How deep is the friendship between you and Dutton?” I ask.

Matthew chuckles. “Not deep enough for him to let me have you for more than twenty minutes at a time, apparently. Yet .” The last word is full of an intent I don’t want to unpack right now. He leans in and presses a kiss to my cheek.

“It was lovely meeting you, Billie. I’ll make sure to message you. We should do this again, but maybe somewhere more private. If I make it past tonight, that is.”

I laugh and then notice Eli and Jewel walk in. Posie pulls her in for a hug. “Besides, I have some business with your cousin,” Matthew says, then excuses himself and makes his way to Eli. I don’t even want to know who Eli’s targeting with a smear campaign.

I’m tempted to join Ivy since she looks like she’s having the time of her life, but that nagging feeling in my stomach gnaws at me, demanding attention. I shouldn’t be curious as to what Ford might have to say to me, but I am. Part of me wonders if he regrets what he said the other night. Another part of me shouldn’t care. I yoyo with the sentiment, but my feet undeniably take me the direction he went, always curious and unable to control myself.

I hate the power he holds over me. But I hate my lack of control when it comes to going to him more.

Addicted, he’d said. Is that what this is? Am I no better?

Because now I know this isn’t good for me since I’ve started developing feelings for Ford. And yet, I’m walking toward my demise once again.

Hawke comes out from the back, almost barreling me over. He beams with a goofy smile, which is such a contradiction to his blood-thirsty personality.

“Whoa there, little tornado, where you off to?”

I’m about to tell him I’m grabbing something from the back when Eli grabs his attention. Hawke bounds over, and whatever business they’re discussing has them forgetting about me. I head backstage, where the dancers usually get ready, but I don’t see any sign of him.

That’s when the bathroom door opens, and I’m pulled inside, the door closing behind me. Ford leans into me, caging me between the door and his lean build.

He looks pissed, and it sparks my own frustration. He has no fucking right to be mad at me because I was talking to a guy.

“What are you doing?” I ask, trying to remember to breathe because this man does all kinds of fucked-up things to my body.

“I wanted my fix,” he says as his hand slides up the slit in my dress.

His fix . Like a crack addict needs their next hit.

I get what he means and I don’t like it. Especially with the way he described it to me the other night. I won’t just be a little fuck doll to him.

My anger boils as I shove him. I know I’m not strong enough to move him, but he takes a step back, removing his hand from my thigh.

“I’m not your plaything,” I hiss. “What? Does it upset you that someone else wants me?”

Ford remains quiet that intimidating and brooding gaze staring through me. I fucking hate when he does that. Shuts me out, gives me no hint of what he’s thinking, but keeps reeling me in. I grit my teeth. One of us has to have some kind of control because we’re falling so deeply into an abyss neither one of us can crawl back out of.

“Well, I don’t need a fix, so fuck off.” I turn and grab the doorknob, but his body slams me against the door.

“Are you upset, Chaos?” he asks, his breath tickling my ear.

Of course I’m fucking upset! But I’m too proud to say that. I can’t admit how much he’s gotten under my skin and into my bloodstream. Not one day has passed that I haven’t thought about him and the conversation that we had. He made his expectation clear, and yet here I am. Again.

“This has to end. We have to end. Sneaking around was fun, but I’m over it.” I push back against him, which is a mistake because I feel his hard cock against my ass, and my body freezes with immediate anticipation. He bites my earlobe, and a shiver runs down my spine, goosebumps rising on my skin, the heavy pounding of anticipation heating my pussy.

“That’s all for you. You can take it if you want it,” he croons. I shake my head, trying to tell myself no.

But I really want it.

Fuck. I want it more than anything right now.

“This isn’t smart, Ford. There are people right outside.”

“I don’t care. All I want is you. To be in you. Consumed by you. Use me how you want.”

“That’s not fair,” I grit as my ass rubs against his cock, my body betraying me. No, Billie, more willpower.

“Nothing about you is fucking fair, Chaos.” He runs his nose along my neck as if smelling me. A moan escapes me, and I chastise myself as all my anger morphs into something else.

“I need more,” I whisper.

“Of this cock?”

“No. More from you. Not just sex.”

He remains silent behind me, and I can see his knuckles turning white from how tightly he grips the doorframe. How typical to ask Ford for something more, and he freezes up. I build the courage again to leave, but then he says, “Like what?”

My heart falters. The first thing that comes to mind is small and sounds childish when I say it, yet for some reason, it means so much. “I don’t know. Like texting me more or something.”

It’s so minor, so juvenile, and yet I want it. I need something more than this situation where we come and go as we please. I hold my breath, my body buzzing with the tension rippling around us. I wait for his rejection or for him to reiterate that we’re nothing more than fuck buddies. The moment he says it, I’m out the door.

“Okay,” he says.

I’m startled, my breath releasing in a rush because I wasn’t expecting that response at all. My heart fills with what feels like victory, and it’s so stupid. Irrational. And yet, my body acts of its own accord, reaching behind me. I come into contact with his leg, and my hand slides up until I reach his belt. But this angle is too awkward. He hurries to assist, unbuckling it for me, his movements desperate as he frees his cock. We’re breathing heavily, our hunger insatiable despite being together only a week ago.

My hand clasps his veiny cock, and I stroke to the tip, my thumb rolling over his piercing and enjoying the feel of the bar running under the head. I let out a soft moan as he presses himself into me impatiently, then reaches for my dress and starts lifting it.

“Fuck. No panties,” he growls, and I can sense the shift in him as he turns from man to beast. It fries my brain, making me feel desired. Makes me want to be claimed.

Before I can respond, he kicks my legs apart. And without warning, he adjusts himself to my height and then slams into me. I curse, trying to hold myself upright against the door as he rails me against it like a starved man. But, fuck, how I needed this.

I needed him .

Even against my better judgment, I need it like my next breath because it makes me feel alive.

He thrusts once, then twice, before he picks up a perfect rhythm. I try to be quiet, not wanting everyone to hear us. But then his hand slides between my legs, and he starts rubbing my clit. I grind against him with so much need that I can’t stop myself. I groan.

“See, Chaos, you want this.”

“I do,” I whisper, craving him more and more. I can’t manage this insatiable thirst. My eyes roll into the back of my head as his cock hits my sweet spot over and over again. I already feel the climb building, shocked at how quickly this man unravels me.

I love his cock. I love the way he drives into me. I feel so fucking full that I am afraid no man will ever make me feel this good again.

I don’t want any other man to make me feel this way.

He keeps thrusting, his hand on my hip as he pounds into me like a wild man, and I bite my hand, attempting to hold back the loud screams trying to rip from my throat.

“When he touches you next time, I want you to remember how it’s me who makes you come undone. That it’s my cock you crave.” Then he slaps my ass hard.

It’s not fair that Ford punishes me this way. That he leaves his imprint every time and has me craving more.

But, fuck me, I don’t know what’s right anymore as a haze overtakes my vision and rational thinking.

He slaps me again, no doubt leaving his handprint there. I yelp. The pain explodes and rips my orgasm from me. I see stars, and tears track down my face as I come.

Hard.

And everything else becomes irrelevant.

Once again, it’s only me and Ford.