Page 31 of A Wager with the Matchmaker (A Shanahan Match #3)

31

Alannah paced the length of Zaira’s bedroom. With its lovely white furniture and soft yellow and white linens, the room was summery and bright and cheerful—just like Zaira’s room at Oakland. Even so, Alannah felt trapped, and her heart was knocking against her chest with a need that was keenly desperate.

Kiernan hadn’t returned to the city since the day earlier in the week when she’d rejected him. The longer he was gone, the more frantic she was becoming to tell him she was sorry for pushing him away. In fact, she wanted to see him so badly that today she’d even considered riding out to Oakland.

But she’d pushed aside the possibility because she couldn’t risk Shaw finding out she was staying at the Shanahans’ city home. If he came looking for her here, he’d find Torin and finish killing him.

After almost a week since the attack at the brickyard, Torin was walking around and getting restless. Donahue was visiting him again and had brought several pieces of machinery that they were working on together in Kiernan’s bedroom.

Torin didn’t need her tending to him anymore. And Winston shooed her away every time she tried to help him with the chores.

Of course, she’d had plenty of time to read the newest book Kiernan had given to her. But this time, reading hadn’t brought her the usual satisfaction. She sensed that nothing would satisfy her until she had the opportunity to talk with Kiernan again.

“Alannah?” came a womanly voice outside the bedroom door. “’Tis me, Zaira.”

Alannah raced to the door and threw it open, not caring that Zaira might discover Torin was alive and staying in Kiernan’s bedroom just down the hallway. Alannah needed a friend, and Zaira had become one in spite of their social differences.

Zaira, as usual, looked windblown and flushed but radiant. In a riding gown of pale green, she had her hair tucked away under a matching bonnet with a wide brim and a large ribbon tied underneath her chin.

Before Alannah could brace herself, Zaira threw her arms around her, hugging her tightly.

Alannah couldn’t hold back a laugh of surprise at the enthusiasm.

The young woman smelled of sunshine and wildflowers and brought with her the warmth of the late afternoon.

“I’m so happy to see you.” Zaira pulled back, smiling widely.

“Oh aye, I’m happy to see you more.”

“You’ll be even happier when you see what I’ve brought you.” Zaira’s smile turned smug.

“What have you brought?” Another manuscript to edit perhaps?

Zaira closed the door behind her, then snapped open her reticule and dug through it. After several seconds, she pulled out a folded paper and held it out. “From Kiernan.”

From Kiernan? Alannah’s heart began to pound irregularly. A part of her wanted to grab it and rip it open. But another part was too afraid to find out that he was giving her what she’d said she wanted and was now telling her farewell.

“’Tis a good note, Alannah.” Zaira squeezed her hand gently. “He isn’t letting you go, so you may as well accept that you’re stuck with him. With all of us.”

Rapid tears stung Alannah’s eyes. “Really?” She could hardly force the word out.

“Really.” Zaira motioned toward the sheet. “Now read it.”

Alannah unfolded the note, unable to control the shaking of her fingers. As she spread it open, her eyes took in the title: Qualities Needed in a Wife.

The list was numbered from one to twelve just as it had been previously. But next to each number was the same thing: She has to be Alannah, the woman I love .

At the bottom of the sheet was another short sentence: I’m going to California with you because nothing else means as much as you.

Overwhelming relief weakened her knees, and she grasped the chest of drawers beside her to keep from crumpling.

Kiernan still loved and wanted her.

In fact, he was willing to sacrifice everything for her, including giving up his businesses and aspirations in St. Louis to travel west with her.

What kind of man would do that? It was beyond anything she’d ever believed possible, a love like she’d never known.

Kiernan Shanahan was a man worth keeping forever. He’d proven that to her already in so many small ways. Now with his willingness to sacrifice so much to be with her—his family, his wealth, his businesses, his plans—how could she doubt how much he loved her?

And how could she let him give it all up? She couldn’t. She didn’t belong in the West with Torin. She belonged here in St. Louis with Kiernan. Even if a part of her heart would always be in Tralee and Ireland, she had a new home now, and that was with Kiernan.

The pressure in her chest swelled. Torin had been right. She couldn’t push Kiernan away any longer out of her fear of losing people she loved. There would be losses and hardships because of the brokenness of their world. But she couldn’t forget that God was walking with her through them and would be with Kiernan and her no matter what they faced. They would have a wise and loving Companion for their journey ahead.

Was it possible she could find a way to show Kiernan how much she loved him, just like he’d shown her?

But what could she do? She glanced at Zaira to find the young woman was waiting expectantly. “I love him too.”

Zaira smiled. “I know.”

“Ach, I need to be showing him how much. But what can I do?”

Zaira’s smile widened. “I have an idea.” She stalked toward the closet and opened the door to reveal a dozen lovely gowns, the ones Kiernan had encouraged Alannah to wear but she hadn’t been able to bring herself to do so.

She’d already felt strange using the beautiful room, much less wearing such fine clothing.

Zaira began pulling out gowns, holding them up, and then tossing them onto the bed.

Alannah didn’t move. She never quite knew what to expect from the young woman, and now was no different. What was her plan?

Zaira dug deeper into her closet and emerged with a pale blue evening gown. “What do you think?”

“’Tis gorgeous, to be sure.”

“My thoughts exactly.” Zaira walked around the bed to the opposite side that wasn’t full of gowns. She laid the blue one down and spread out the skirt made of gauzy tarlatan. “Then we’re in agreement that this is the gown you’ll wear tonight?”

Alannah took a rapid step back. “Me? No, I couldn’t, not at all.”

“Nonsense. It matches your eyes perfectly, almost as if it was made just for you.”

The light blue was pretty, and Alannah couldn’t imagine a dress more beautiful. “No—”

“You’ll wear it to the party tonight.”

“Party?”

“Shelia and Liam’s engagement party.”

Wasn’t the party when Kiernan had wanted to announce their match? Alannah recoiled. She’d didn’t belong there, would never fit in, couldn’t go. Everyone would gossip about them, about her, and she’d end up embarrassing him.

Surely there was some other way she could show Kiernan she was willing to do whatever it took to make their relationship work.

“Well?” Zaira arched a brow.

“I can’t ... I could never ... ’Tis impossible.”

Her thoughts tumbled to a stop. If Kiernan had been willing to go to such great lengths because he loved her, she had to be willing to do the same. She couldn’t think of anything more difficult than attending an engagement party and mingling as a guest among the types of people she’d only ever served.

But she’d do it for Kiernan because he was worth all the discomfort and difficulty. She also had to do it for herself, to prove she could push past the barriers that had always been in place and learn to live without them, just like Zaira.

Zaira was still watching her.

“I’ll go.” Alannah forced the words out.

“You know Kiernan won’t want you going out in public, not if there’s a chance Shaw might still be searching for you.”

“Rightly so.” If she came out of hiding, she needed a plan for staying safe from Shaw. Maybe going to the party was a bad idea, after all, especially because Kiernan wouldn’t approve. Maybe she would have to wait....

But how could she? She had to do this tonight, had to make this step to show Kiernan she loved him enough to set aside everything that was holding her back. She swallowed her protest. “I’ll do anything to go to that party tonight.”

“Anything?” Zaira’s eyes took on a mischievous glint.

“Aye. Anything.”

“That’s a good, lass.” Zaira picked up the dress and spun around with it, looking much too satisfied with herself. “You leave it up to me. I know just what to do.”

Had the young woman arrived with a whole plan already in place?

Alannah hesitated a moment longer. Then she nodded. She’d meant what she said—she would do anything to be with Kiernan, even give in to another of Zaira’s dramatic adventures.