Page 14 of A Wager with the Matchmaker (A Shanahan Match #3)

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Kiernan kept his foot wedged in the door, but he didn’t force his way into the dining room after Alannah even though he wanted to.

“I’ve been busy,” she said.

He shook his head curtly at her excuse. “You’re always busy.”

“’Tis too embarrassing, so it is.”

Why would she be embarrassed? She’d done nothing wrong. “Did I do something to offend you?”

“Not at all.”

“Then what?”

She paused. Was she searching for another excuse?

“Tell me the truth, Alannah.”

An exasperated exhalation came from the other side. “I didn’t realize you were visiting with so many other women.”

Was she jealous? A strange satisfaction twisted through him. “You knew I met with Bellamy to begin the matchmaking process.”

“But I thought—I assumed...”

“What?”

“I thought you were meeting with just one woman.”

Most people did meet with one match at a time—a person the matchmaker picked based on his skills and intuition for matchmaking. But, of course, Kiernan had pushed Bellamy to do things differently.

“I shouldn’t have been visiting with you at night,” Alannah continued, “not when you’re trying so hard to form a match with someone else.”

“I’ve been there to keep you safe.” At least that’s what he’d been telling himself. But if he was honest, he had to admit that his conscience had been nagging him about their late-night meetings. “Besides, there’s nothing wrong with our talking.”

“It isn’t right for us to sit out there alone.”

“As friends. You said we could be friends.” It was unnerving just how quickly she’d become his friend. In fact, in the short time he’d known her, she was a better friend than Liam had been during a lifetime.

“I know I said we could have a friendship.” Even though her voice dropped, her chagrin was easy to hear. “That was before—well, before I understood everything.”

“There’s nothing complicated about it.”

“’Tis very complicated, so it is.”

“It doesn’t have to be.” He leaned his head against the door, somehow needing to feel connected to her again after the past two days of nothing.

She was silent, as if she was contemplating what he said.

Something deep inside urged him to let her go. It was the same urging he’d felt when he’d been riding home. He’d al most convinced himself that severing their friendship would be best for both of them.

But the moment he’d seen her standing on the veranda speaking with Shelia, an overwhelming need to talk to her had welled up within him. The need had been so strong that he’d wanted to walk right past Shelia and drag Alannah into his arms.

He supposed part of the need had to do with the encounter with Shaw and the threats the gang leader had made regarding Alannah. The rest of the ride home, Kiernan had been anxious about her, almost desperate to make sure she was at Oakland and doing okay.

A quiet desperation still plagued him. He didn’t know how much longer Alannah would be safe at his family’s country home, and his mind had been rolling through all the possibilities of new places she could go to hide. He’d tossed aside one friend’s home after another, none of them safe enough. He’d even ruled against returning her to Enya’s city home.

Besides, even if he did find a more secure place, how much longer could she hide? She couldn’t do so indefinitely.

He had to come up with a better plan, and the one that kept forcing its way to the front of his mind was Torin’s idea to marry Alannah off. Kiernan still didn’t like it, but it would put an end to the threat to her.

“I’m sorry, Kiernan,” she finally said. “I think it’s best if we don’t meet any longer.”

Why had she agreed before but wouldn’t any longer? “I don’t understand what’s changed.”

“I told you. I learned you were meeting with all those women.” From the tightness of her voice, she was making it sound as if he was mingling with women of ill repute rather than society’s finest.

“So I can only be friends with you if I stop seeing all those women ?”

“No, I know you have to be finding a match.”

“If I need to find a match, then why did you tell Shelia I already had one?” He could almost feel her presence through the door and imagined she was leaning against it the same way he was.

“I’m sorry.” Her voice came out a strained whisper. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Why did you?”

“I’m embarrassed to say.”

“Tell me.”

She was silent.

“If you don’t tell me, then I’ll have to come in the dining room and make you.” He kept his tone light, hoping she would know he was teasing but persisting nonetheless.

“Ach.” A thudding came against the door, as if she was lightly banging her head on it. “If you must know, I think you deserve someone better than her, so I do.”

“Is that right? Like who?”

“A woman who doesn’t toy with your affections but is instead loyal and committed and sees all the wonderful things about you and wants you for who you are.” Her words came out in a rush.

Her declaration warmed his heart, and he savored it for a few moments.

“Are you still there?” she asked timidly.

“Aye.” Something about Alannah Darragh was delightful and brought him to life in a way he hadn’t felt in a long time, if ever. “ Wonderful things ?”

She gave a huff and pushed against the door. “Go away with you now, Kiernan, and leave me be.”

He laughed softly, his muscles relaxing after the past two days of tension from not being with her. “I’ll go away, but only if you promise to meet me at our spot tonight.”

“I don’t know.” Her tone seemed to hold a smile. “I don’t want to be interfering with your match.”

“Interfering?” He guffawed. “It’s too late for that, don’t you think? You told Shelia I was matched. By tomorrow the word will be all over St. Louis that I’ve picked someone to marry.”

At his statement, the dining room door swung wide, and Alannah in all her beauty stood before him. Even in her simple black maid’s attire covered with a white apron, she was more than beautiful. She was breathtaking, and he could do nothing but stare at her exquisite features, drinking her in like a water-deprived man.

Her eyes were round and filled with dismay, her delicate brows furrowed, and her lips pursed in consternation. “Oh, Kiernan.” She almost reached for his arm but then seemed to stop herself. “’Tis my fault, to be sure. I blathered when I shouldn’t have. I just didn’t want her holding on to you and keeping you from having happiness of your own.”

Had Shelia been holding on to him?

She certainly had been paying him more attention over recent weeks since they’d all moved out of the city. She was the type of woman who liked attention, and maybe she felt better about herself in trying to command his affection.

Truthfully, he hadn’t felt an ounce of affection for her today, hadn’t felt affection in a while. In fact, he felt nothing for her other than irritation.

“Can you ever forgive me?” Alannah asked.

“I’m not worried about it.” He stuffed his hands into his pockets to keep from reaching for her hand and comforting her. His comfort wouldn’t remain platonic for long. After all, he didn’t claim to be a saint, not around someone like Alannah.

“But what will we do? Everyone will think you’re engaged.”

“ We won’t be doing anything.” He spoke gently but firmly. “Because it’s not your problem, Alannah.”

“But I’m the one who got you into the predicament, and I should be the one to help you out.”

“I’m due for a visit to Bellamy. I’m sure he’ll know what to do.” Kiernan knew exactly what Bellamy would say. To burn the list of qualifications.

Was it time to admit Bellamy had won their wager and to let him do his job the way he wanted to?

Alannah was still watching him, her brows crinkled with worry and her nose scrunched in that adorable way.

Although his body suddenly ached to feel her, he forced himself to take a step away from her instead of toward her. “Don’t worry about it any more today.”

“You’ll be letting me worry tomorrow, then?” A small smile played at her lips—with that lovely dip that taunted him with the need to be kissed.

He moved another foot back. “Do you want me to forgive you for the mix-up?”

“Oh aye—”

“I’ll forgive you, but only if we can meet again tonight one last time.” This would be it. It had to be. For both their sakes. Because there could never be anything more between them. Could there?

His heart gave a strange flip at the thought.

Her smile tilted higher. “Your demand is fearsome and difficult. But I’ll agree to it, Kiernan Shanahan.”

“Good.” He was grinning now too.

“You never miss the water till the well has run dry.”

“Are you admitting to missing me?”

“Maybe.”

“Alannah?” Cook’s angry shout through the back door echoed down the hallway. “Where are you?”

“Coming!” Still smiling, she scurried past Kiernan.

He couldn’t keep from watching the gracefulness of her stride, the way her hips swayed, and the wispy blond strands that had come loose from her coil and now caressed her neck. When she reached the end of the hallway, she paused and glanced back at him, flashing her smile one more time before exiting and disappearing outside.

He expelled a tight breath, not ready to let her go, needing to talk to her longer, needing to be near her, needing to see her smile again.

Kiernan wanted to go on talking with Alannah all night. But she’d yawned at least three times, and he had to bring their time together to a close.

“So that’s how my mam got into editing.” She stifled another yawn from where she sat on the blanket beside him. “And I learned to love doing it too.”

He stared up at the sky, his arms behind his head. “I’m sure your love of reading has lent you a keen eye for mistakes.”

“It has. I never can seem to read a book anymore without keeping a mental list of the things that are wrong.”

He hadn’t known she liked to edit and had aspirations to edit for a newspaper or magazines or journals one day. But for some reason, she’d shared that with him tonight, maybe because it was their last night, and she had nothing to lose by revealing this part of herself.

He was surprised to find himself hoping that someday she would be able to fulfill her dream. It was odd because he had always agreed with his da that women—particularly married women—needed to focus on their household and families without the distraction of employment.

Of course, women in Alannah’s poor working class often had no choice but to work even after they were married by taking in mending or laundry or ironing. Some even labored in factories or fields.

But editing? That was different. It was something she wanted to do regardless of whether she had to. It was a passion and a purpose. He’d never thought about women having passions and purposes outside the home. But maybe they deserved to have such aspirations just like men. Why shouldn’t they?

“I hope you’ll be able to pursue your editing.” He pushed up from his reclining position to his elbows.

“Thank you, Kiernan.” A cooler night breeze teased at a tendril of her hair that had come loose from her braid. “You’re kind to listen and understand.”

He wanted to tuck the wayward strand behind her ear, but he hadn’t so much as brushed a finger against her, and he had to keep things that way.

The buzz of fireflies melded with the trill of the crickets. The sounds of the night had become like music and from now on would remind him of his time with Alannah.

She yawned again, covering her mouth. Slowly she pushed up until she was standing. She was still wearing her maid’s uniform but had discarded her cap. As she picked up the lantern, the glow highlighted the beauty in each line of her face.

“I should go,” she said softly.

He wanted to protest, but he nodded. “I’ll leave in a minute.” It was best if they didn’t go together.

She hesitated for a moment before starting forward. “Good night, Kiernan.”

He watched her go, his whole body keening for her. He wanted to chase after her and draw her into his arms. But he forced himself to stay where he was, even as his heart beat hard in protest and a strange discontentment sifted through him.

Why the discontent? Was it because his time with Alannah was over? As much as he wanted to suggest another meeting, deep inside he knew he couldn’t keep fooling himself into believing they were only friends. His attraction went far beyond friendship, probably always had. Continuing their late nights together was only stirring up temptation.

Besides, he still needed to arrange a new place for her to stay and move her there within the next day or two.

He didn’t want to think about the day when she’d no longer be at Oakland. But after his encounter with Shaw earlier, Kiernan knew that day was coming sooner rather than later.