Page 19 of A Wager with the Matchmaker (A Shanahan Match #3)

19

“This is madness.” Da’s voice boomed through the parlor. “I expected more from you.”

Kiernan perched on the edge of the settee, his head down, his face buried in his hands.

Da was pacing the length of the carpet in front of the settee. Mam sat in one of the wingback chairs and hadn’t said much so far. She hadn’t needed to. The disappointment etched into her face spoke loudly enough.

The Shanahan reputation was sacred, especially after Da had worked so hard to build it. They’d already had one scandal earlier in the year with Enya. Thankfully, everything had worked out. Even so, they didn’t need another situation to deal with.

During the short walk back to Oakland from the pond, Bellamy had offered to stay for the meeting with his parents. Kiernan and Bellamy had led their horses by foot with Alannah and Torin walking behind them, the two arguing in hushed tones the entire way. Even though Kiernan had wanted to have Bellamy’s support while talking with his parents, he’d also known that wouldn’t make things any better.

Kiernan had wanted to ask Bellamy the reason behind bringing up the list to Alannah. But a part of him already knew why. Bellamy was forcing him to be honest with her so their relationship wasn’t based on any pretenses.

Somehow over the next week, Kiernan had to prove to her that the list didn’t matter to him anymore, that he cared about her above all else and was ready to marry her no matter what anyone else thought. Because he didn’t care about the opinions of others, did he?

Da stopped his pacing and stood in front of him. “What were you thinking, Kiernan? I raised you better than to take advantage of a maid, so I did.”

Kiernan sat up, flinching at the despair in Da’s green eyes. With his broad shoulders, stocky body, and muscular build, James Shanahan was an imposing man. Everyone said Kiernan looked like his da not only in body but with the same wide cheekbones, dimple in his chin, and thick brows. The only difference—besides twenty-five years in age—was that his da had bright red hair and green eyes instead of Kiernan’s muted auburn hair and blue eyes.

Kiernan shoved a hand through his still-rain-drenched hair. “I told you I didn’t sleep with her, that we did nothing more than talk.” At least until today.

“And I told you it doesn’t matter.” Exasperation filled Da’s tone. “People will be thinking what they will about it. Believe me, they’re already assuming the worst.”

“I’m marrying her, so it doesn’t matter.”

Kiernan didn’t know where Alannah had gone after they’d returned home and she’d said her good-bye to Torin. Maybe she’d retired to her room. After all, it was still part of her afternoon off, for another hour at least, and she could go anywhere or do anything.

A strange mounting anxiety urged him to seek her out and try to set things right between them, the way they’d been before she’d learned of his list. She’d kissed him without reservation, had wanted him as much as he’d wanted her. If only they could go back to that.

As it was, with Da’s fiery temper, the entire household was likely hearing the conversation. He just hoped Alannah was back in the summer kitchen and wasn’t being subjected to his parents’ comments.

Mam sat with her hands clenched in her lap. She was still attired in her best Sunday gown, everything about her lovely and graceful. “You should have let me send her on her way when I first wanted to. I knew she was trouble from the moment you brought her out here.”

“She’s not trouble.” Kiernan’s spine prickled. “Since arriving in St. Louis, she’s faced difficulties that aren’t of her own making.”

“Everyone faces difficulties, and we can’t be taking responsibility for hers.”

“Some people face more than others, and we need to help.”

“Not her.” His mam’s tone was stubborn. “Not any longer.”

Kiernan couldn’t keep to his chair. He shot up, forcing Da to take several steps back. “I am marrying Alannah.” His voice came out low, almost menacing. “And you need to accept it.”

His da’s eyes widened.

Kiernan couldn’t let them disparage Alannah. She didn’t deserve it. Even if he didn’t marry her—which he would—she was one of the sweetest, kindest people he’d ever met. She deserved to be treated with the same kindness in return.

His da was watching him, his thick brows quirked high. For a moment he didn’t say anything. Then he spoke quietly. “You care about her.”

“Aye.” Kiernan’s chest swelled almost painfully with his longing for her and the possibility that he might have ruined things between them.

His mam rose now, too, smoothing down her wide silk skirt. “It doesn’t matter how Kiernan feels. That woman has been manipulating him all along, trying to wheedle her way into his life so she can secure a future for herself.”

“You’re wrong. She doesn’t want to marry me.”

Mam opened her mouth, but her response stalled. She was probably relieved to learn the news. At the very least, she wouldn’t have to try hard to get Alannah to reject him since she already had.

Da watched him a moment longer, then lowered himself to the closest chair. With the rainy afternoon, a cooler breeze wafted through the windows that were open and protected by the covered veranda. Even so, Da took out a handkerchief and dabbed at the perspiration on his forehead.

As he did so, he remained quiet, the sign he was contemplating the new information and trying to make sense of it. Although Da was a driven man, he was fair. He wouldn’t demand that Kiernan marry someone else if he was in love with Alannah.

“Let me see if I have my information correct,” Da finally said. “You’ve been helping to protect Alannah from her brother’s rival gang. In the process, you’ve fallen in love with her. And now with the rumors, you want to do the honorable thing and make her your wife.”

“That’s it.” Kiernan couldn’t have summed it up more concisely if he tried. “If that isn’t enough, Bellamy chose us for each other.”

“Did he now? Above any of the women you met with over the past two weeks?”

“I didn’t know it until today. And now I understand why. She’s the only one I can truly be myself with, and she’s genuine with me in return.” Among all the other things he liked about her, he appreciated that he didn’t have to strive to be more or do more or be successful. She liked him for who he was.

Or at least, she used to like him before she saw his list.

Da finished wiping his forehead, then tucked away his handkerchief. “Bellamy’s a good matchmaker, so he is.”

Mam snorted softly. “Matchmakers aren’t the Almighty himself.”

“If anyone has the Almighty directing him,” Da countered, “that’s Bellamy McKenna. He worked miracles for both Finola and Enya, so he did. And he’ll work a miracle again for Kiernan.”

“She’s a nobody and not suitable, James.” Mam raised her voice, as though she was hoping Alannah—wherever she was—would hear her. “At least with Finola and Enya, Bellamy found young men who are their equals.”

“She’s my equal.” Kiernan was growing more ashamed of his list the longer he thought about what he’d written. “In fact, she’s better than me.” She wasn’t as selfish and arrogant and shallow as he was.

“Not only is she a nobody,” Mam protested, “but she has nothing—”

“What about you when you disembarked from your ship, and Da walked up to you?” Kiernan had heard the story of how his parents met dozens of times over the years. Da liked to say that he’d been doing business down at the levee and noticed Mam walking off the steamship gangplank and thought she was the prettiest Irish lass he’d ever seen. He hadn’t cared about anything else and had gone right up to her and proposed on the spot. She’d slapped him on his cheek and told him to go away. They were married three months later.

“I wasn’t a poor domestic.” Mam’s da had been a tailor, a respectable trade. He’d had a difficult time garnering business and had decided to emigrate to St. Louis where a brother lived. He’d sent Mam and one of his sons ahead to prepare the way for the rest of the family. But then her da changed his mind and decided to stay in Ireland after all. Although Mam hadn’t been as helpless and destitute as the immigrants fleeing from the Great Hunger, if the times had been different, she very well could have been.

Da was looking at her with a gentle rebuke in his eyes.

Mam lifted her chin.

“We didn’t have much in those early days, Lucinda.” Da crossed to her and reached for her hand. “But we had each other, and that was enough, wasn’t it?”

Her expression softened, and she raised a hand to his clean-shaven cheek. She was quiet for a moment, then sighed. “Fine. I won’t say anything more about the girl.”

“Alannah.” Kiernan could be just as stubborn as Mam when he chose to. And in Alannah’s case, he wanted his fam ily to respect her as they would any gentlewoman he might have decided to marry.

“Very well.” Mam released a sigh as if it was costing her greatly to acquiesce. “I won’t say anything more about Alannah .”

“You’ll be kind to her?” Kiernan persisted.

“Aye, I’m kind already.”

Kiernan narrowed his eyes at Mam, but she didn’t meet his gaze. He’d made strides with her today, but maybe it would take time for her to accept Alannah. It would likely take time for many within his social circles to accept her. But he was a determined man, and he’d make sure it happened eventually.

“So,” Da said. “You’re set on marrying her?”

“I won’t be swayed.” It was the right thing to do. He knew it. Torin knew it. And Bellamy had always known it. Now he just had to convince Alannah.

“But she doesn’t want to marry you?” Da asked, clearly reading the direction of his thoughts.

“I’ve persuaded her to take a week to think about it. I’d like to announce our match at the end of the week.”

“And if she still doesn’t agree at that point?” Da persisted.

With Shaw’s threat hanging over him, Kiernan knew he couldn’t wait longer than a week. A week might even be too long. In fact, if Shaw made any more threats, Kiernan would have to persuade Alannah to get married right away. Or he’d have to move her somewhere else. Maybe he would relocate her anyway, just to be safe.

Whatever the case, he was willing to do anything to have her as his wife, and he had to assure her of that. “I’ll figure out something. I always do.”

Da grinned. “I found a way to win my wife. Now it’s your turn to step up and do the same.”

As his da clamped him on the shoulder, Kiernan couldn’t muster a grin. He already had enough pressure to prove himself with his businesses. But apparently now his da wanted him to prove his skill in wooing women.

After Kiernan left the meeting with his parents, he went to his room and changed into dry clothing. Then he searched for Alannah in all her usual spots. When he couldn’t find her, he tiptoed up the servants’ stairway to the dormer. Upon reaching Alannah’s room, he tapped against the door lightly, not wanting to draw attention to his presence in the servants’ quarters, especially not with the rumor that was already circulating. If someone saw him there, they’d most certainly assume the worst and add to the speculation about Alannah and him.

But he was willing to take the risk. A strange desperation was pulsing through him, one driving him to tell Alannah he’d been an idiot to write that stupid list of requirements and to assure her that he didn’t care anymore about those things.

He also wanted her to know their kiss meant something to him, that it hadn’t been just a casual or fleeting moment of passion. Instead, he hoped it was the beginning of more such moments—after they were married, of course.

With his back and head hunched against the low ceiling, he waited and listened for any movement inside her room.

Silence was all that greeted him.

He knocked again, but still no one answered.

He inched the door open and peeked in. She wasn’t there. The room was tidy, the narrow bed neatly made, clothes put away, an extra pair of shoes tucked under her bed.

She’d stacked her books on the dresser. It wasn’t a large collection, about a dozen along with the couple he’d given to her. Most were well worn, the covers tattered and the pages frayed. Someday, maybe he could give her a whole bookshelf full of books, even an entire library. But for now, he had only one more book for her.

He tugged it out of his pocket, this one The Pirate by Sir Walter Scott. Kiernan wasn’t sure if she would like it. But the selection at the mercantile hadn’t been large this morning when he’d stopped by after meeting with Bellamy at the pub. Even though the store had been closed on Sunday, he’d asked a favor of the store owner to let him purchase the book. And now he was glad he had and that it had stayed dry in his saddlebag.

Hopefully, it would go a little way in softening Alannah’s heart and making her more willing to forgive him.

He laid it on her pillow, then backed out of the room and closed the door. As much as he wanted to see her tonight, she obviously didn’t want to be found, which meant he’d have to wait until tomorrow to make her realize they belonged together.