Page 28 of A Wager with the Matchmaker (A Shanahan Match #3)

28

Kiernan sat by Torin’s bedside, elbows on his knees, head bent.

He’d been praying for God to show mercy on the young man. But the fever had been taking its toll—a fever from one of the wounds that had become infected. For the past three days, Torin had wavered in and out of consciousness. No matter what anyone had done, he’d slipped further into delirium.

Alannah kept a vigil over Torin, sleeping in the chair and tending to him day and night. Finally last night, Kiernan had threatened to pick her up and carry her away. Only then had she gone to Zaira’s room and slept in the bed.

She’d been asleep for over twelve hours, and Kiernan didn’t intend to wake her, not unless Torin worsened significantly.

Kiernan whispered another prayer, this one for Alannah, that she wouldn’t blame herself as she’d been doing the past few days. She wouldn’t have been able to stop Shaw, even if she’d handed herself over. The gang leader had made that clear enough by coming after her even though he’d tried to have Torin murdered.

At least Shaw didn’t know Alannah was staying with him here at the house. Kiernan had done his best to go on with his life as normal, heading out to the brickyard every day, overseeing the cleanup, and meeting with his accountant about his options.

The only option he had was the one thing he hadn’t wanted to do—sell his glass factory. He would have to take whatever he could get and then invest it into the brickyard. Even then, it was doubtful the brickyard could ever be successful the way he’d hoped.

The fixing and rebuilding would take time. Even if they got everything back in working order soon, how would they be able to sell enough bricks to compensate for the losses? Especially with most businesses in St. Louis remaining at a halt.

Kiernan had tried to figure out how to salvage the predicament, but he always seemed to arrive at one conclusion—he’d failed. He’d been too ambitious, hoping he could make a name for himself and make his da proud. But he would end up looking like a fool instead.

With a sigh, he sat back in the chair. Morning light filtered in from the slit between the curtains. He would need to go soon.

At a rustling from the bed, Kiernan stood and reached for the glass of water. He started to bend over Torin to encourage him to drink only to find the fellow’s eyes wide open and staring up at him.

Without his spectacles, Torin’s eyes were more visible. They seemed clear and lucid, the glassiness from the past few days gone. His face was pale and scruffy from the lack of shaving. A deep gash on one cheek with the sutures was a ghastly purple, and the skin under an eye was bruised a faint black.

“Mr. Shanahan?” Torin croaked the words as he gazed around at the bedroom.

“Kiernan. Call me Kiernan.” He placed the glass back on the bedside table and rested a hand on Torin’s forehead. The skin was clammy to the touch, slightly damp, but the heat was gone. Had the fever broken?

“Where am I?” Torin tried to lift his head, winced, then ceased his efforts, no doubt from the pain since the wound in his shoulder had been one of the deeper stabs, likely intended to hit his heart.

“You’re at my family’s house in the city.” Kiernan reached for the glass again and brought it to Torin’s lips. “Take a drink.” He gently held up Torin’s head while he drank.

Torin managed a few sips before he laid his head back. “How long have I been here?”

“This is the morning of the third day.”

“Alannah? Is she safe?”

“Shaw tried to get her, but we’re hiding her here too.” Kiernan set the glass aside, then towered above Torin. Should he go after Alannah and let her know Torin had awoken? She would want to hear the good news. At the same time, he wanted her to sleep as long as possible.

Torin tried to push up again and this time made it to his elbows. “You need to marry her. It’s the best way to keep Shaw from having her, and you know it.”

Kiernan nodded. He’d had plenty of time to think about not only what Torin needed to do, but also how to keep Alannah safe. And marrying her was still his goal.

“You love her, don’t you?” Torin’s voice was weak and gravelly.

“You should go back to sleep.”

“I need to know.”

Kiernan sat back down. That night when he’d learned Shaw had almost kidnapped her, he’d been tortured the whole time he’d ridden to Oscar’s Pub, needing to see her and hold her and know for certain that she’d survived.

When he stepped into the shed, he had no doubt he loved her. He just hoped that he’d get to spend the rest of his life showing her how much he cared about her.

His whole heart, soul, and body burned for her in an almost painful way. He couldn’t fathom losing her, and the possibility of Shaw going after her again nearly killed him.

“Aye, I love her,” he whispered. “She’s my whole world, and I don’t want or need anything but her.”

Torin’s body seemed to relax. “Send for a priest and marry her now.”

Kiernan hadn’t brought up marriage to her over the past few days, although he’d wanted to. She’d been too worried about Torin. But even if Torin had been well, Kiernan had sensed her pulling away from him, almost as if she was preparing to reject him again. He wasn’t sure his heart could withstand another crushing blow from her.

“Please?” Torin’s voice dropped to a pleading whisper.

Kiernan met the young man’s gaze. “I would if she’d let me.”

“You can convince her. Oh aye, tell her what you just told me.”

Even if she’d already made up her mind not to marry him, Kiernan could do nothing less than try to keep winning her.

Torin pushed up from his elbows until he was sitting. His face was etched with pain, and he pursed his lips together. “I have to be going. If Shaw hasn’t already figured out I’m here, he will soon enough.”

“Don’t worry.” Kiernan pressed Torin’s uninjured shoulder to keep him in bed. “Everyone thinks you’re dead.”

Torin ceased his efforts to get up. And for a few minutes, Kiernan explained their rescue efforts that night of the attack at the brickyard.

“Besides my da and the doctor, Donahue and Dustin are the only two workers who know you lived.”

Torin was silent a moment, probably trying to comprehend everything. “Do you really think the Farrell gang believes I’m dead?”

“Either way, after you recover, you have to leave St. Louis.”

“I’ll go as soon as I’m able to get out of bed.”

“You need to move to California.”

Torin didn’t immediately protest the idea.

Kiernan took some hope from that and decided to share more of his plan. “You’ll leave on one of Captain O’Brien’s steamboats. My brother-in-law will hide you so that no other passengers see you. When you reach New Orleans, he’ll find passage for you on a steamboat bound for California.”

“I can go overland—”

“No. It’s too late in the year to start the trip by land. Then you’ll have to winter in Independence, and that’s too risky. Too many people from St. Louis end up there.”

Before they could discuss the matter further, the bedroom door opened, and Alannah stepped inside. She was still attired in her simple maid’s uniform but without the apron or cap. He’d told her she could wear anything in Zaira’s closet, but she was obviously still refusing.

Even so, she’d never looked more beautiful with her sleepy eyes and flushed cheeks. Her fair hair was brushed back and tamed in a simple braid that now hung over her shoulder.

As she took in Torin, she released a cry and then raced across the room. She looked as though she wanted to fling herself across him and draw him into a hug, but she stopped short at the edge of the bed, her eyes glassy with unshed tears. “You’re awake.”

“You couldn’t get rid of me that easily.” Torin attempted a grin and held up a hand.

As she lowered herself to the edge of the bed, she took his hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it, her tears spilling over and sliding down her cheeks. “Don’t you ever be scaring me like that again, do you hear me?”

“I’ll try not to.” Torin’s eyes brimmed with so much love for his sister that an ache formed in Kiernan’s chest. Maybe someday Torin would be able to come back to St. Louis and be with Alannah if he changed his appearance and name. Even then he’d always risk discovery and danger.

Kiernan left the two to converse while he went into the guest room where he’d been staying. He changed into fresh clothing and groomed with Winston hovering nearby. Then Kiernan stepped back into the sick room, tugging at his cuffs.

He glanced up in time to see Alannah watching him, her eyes wide upon him with admiration. And desire. The blue of her eyes was like a deep pond beckoning him to dive in and lose himself there.

His muscles hardened with the need to cross to her, pick her up, kiss her, and forget about everything else in his life.

As though reading his thoughts, her lips parted slightly.

What he wouldn’t give to be able to trace her mouth and that seductive dip of her upper lip. She was truly the most beautiful woman he’d ever met, the most beautiful in all of St. Louis, and he wanted her to be his without question and without any more hesitation.

Her gaze dropped to her hands in her lap, her fingers laced tightly together, as though she was refraining from her need to touch him.

“Oh aye,” Torin said with a weak laugh. “We’ll be needing the priest today, so we will.”

Kiernan tore his attention from Alannah to find Torin watching them, his mouth tilted up in a wide grin.

Alannah didn’t respond except to lift a brow in question.

“I want you to be marrying Kiernan,” Torin explained. “Before I leave for California.”

“California?”

“Kiernan’s worked out the details for me to go away. But I won’t be doing it until I know you’re married and situated.”

Alannah stared at her brother for several long heartbeats.

Kiernan stiffened as he waited for her response, but even as he braced himself for the worst, he prayed for the best.

“I’ll be going with you, Torin,” she said. “I’d surely like California better than St. Louis.”

The hope Kiernan had been grasping started to slip away.

Torin reached for her hand and clasped it between his. “I want you to marry Kiernan. He’ll give you a life I won’t be able to, a stable home, safety, and happiness.”

She pulled away from her brother, stood, and braced her hands on her hips. “You’ll not be planning my life for me, Torin Darragh. I’m old enough to figure it out for myself, so I am.”

“Blast.” Torin scowled up at her. “Kiernan loves you and wants to marry you. Don’t you be throwing that away on account of your stubbornness.”

Alannah’s gaze shot to Kiernan’s, her eyes full of questions. He hadn’t declared his love to her yet, hadn’t known when the right time was, hadn’t wanted to scare her.

But now that she knew, he had to say something. His mind scrambled for an explanation, but at the lines beginning to crease her forehead and the panic filling her eyes, he had the sense that he was losing her again, perhaps losing her for good.

Before he could say anything, she spun and began to cross the room to the door.

He had to talk to her. She was attracted to him. That was obvious. And she enjoyed kissing him. There was no doubt about that. Maybe she didn’t love him yet, but with time, he could earn her love, couldn’t he?

As she exited and closed the door, he finally bolted into action. He raced across the room, threw open the door, and stepped into the hallway to find that she was already nearing the door to Zaira’s room.

“Wait, Alannah.”

She didn’t listen and instead seemed to hasten even more. He lunged for her, and as she opened the door, he grabbed her by the arm and swung her back around.

“I love you.” The words spilled out before he could stop them.

She hung her head. “Don’t say it, Kiernan. Please.”

“Why? It’s the truth.”

“It doesn’t matter. It can’t lead anywhere.”

“I know you feel something too.”

She hesitated.

He could pull her into his arms and kiss her to make his point. His dreams had been filled with visions of kissing her again, and so had his waking moments, if he was being honest with himself.

But could he really use a kiss to win her? Wouldn’t that be the same as seducing or manipulating her into doing his bidding?

He released his hold of her arm. “I want you to be mine, Alannah. But I won’t force you to be with me.”

She kept her head bowed and her hand on the doorknob but didn’t move. “I knew at Oakland I didn’t belong in your world,” she said softly. “But now after staying here in your city home, I’m understanding more completely that I’ll never belong in your world. In your life.”

“That’s not true—”

She tugged at her black skirt. “I’m a maid, not the lady of the house. I’ll not be pretending otherwise.”

“I don’t care about that.”

“You deserve a woman who meets your list of requirements. And someday you’ll thank me for keeping you from making a mistake and marrying me.”

With that, she slipped into Zaira’s room and shut the door, leaving him alone in the hallway.

He stared at the dark wood paneling and lifted a fist to pound against it but then stopped himself.

He’d failed again. This time at love. And all because of that stupid list he’d given Bellamy.

Digging his hand into his inner coat pocket, he retrieved the book he’d purchased for Alannah yesterday. He bent and placed it against the door so she wouldn’t miss it when she came back out. Then he turned and forced himself to walk away.