Page 17 of A Wager with the Matchmaker (A Shanahan Match #3)

17

Kiernan was desperate to kiss her. His body was tight with the need. Especially with the elegant stretch of her neck practically begging him for a kiss.

But he couldn’t start taking advantage of her, not when he’d worked so hard to respect her. He hadn’t done what Shelia was accusing him of. He hadn’t used Alannah to sate his own needs.

Because that’s what this would be if he kissed her neck—he’d be using her, proving himself to be nothing more than a selfish idiot. He’d already brought her enough trouble with the rumors that were circulating, and he didn’t want to chance hurting her any further.

He swallowed hard, drew in a deep breath, and forced himself to inch back. He did so slowly because desire stretched through him like a tight fuse just waiting to be detonated. One wrong move, and he wouldn’t be safe. And neither would she.

Never had a woman been as difficult to resist as Alannah, not even Shelia. And never had a woman made him want to forget about everything else and just be with her, except Alannah.

She was very special, and he couldn’t think of anyone else who could measure up to her, not even close. Not only was she vibrant and caring and interesting, but she made him smile like no one else ever had.

Was he falling for her? Maybe even falling in love?

Blast. He couldn’t let that happen.

With a spurt of strange panic, he released his hold on her waist and took a step away from her.

Before he could put more distance between them, she pivoted and snagged his shirt and part of his vest into a fist. Her long lashes dropped halfway, but not before he caught a glimpse of the desire in her eyes. He doubted she was falling in love, but she obviously wasn’t put off by his attention to her. Did she want to kiss?

The fuse inside him flared to life with sparks and sizzles. He wanted to kiss her more than anything.

But no. He couldn’t let anything happen. It wouldn’t be fair to her. And it wouldn’t be fair to the young woman Bellamy was picking out for him today. He didn’t want to enter into a new relationship while harboring feelings for someone else.

Her fingers dug into his shirt more firmly, as though she heard his protests and wouldn’t let him get away.

He didn’t want to go anywhere. This was right where he wanted to be. With her. Like this.

Even so, he forced himself not to move. If they were going to share a kiss, she had to be the one to initiate it. He didn’t want any confusion about his motivations. He wouldn’t take advantage of her, wouldn’t put any pressure on her for more.

As if he’d spoken the words aloud, she used his shirt to drag herself closer, until she stood facing him with only a hand’s distance separating them. She angled her face up, her lips parted in readiness.

Her half-lidded eyes danced around his face before locking in on his mouth. He felt the heat of her gaze as if it was her touch, and it sent the flames scurrying along the fuse line throughout his body, making him combustible.

He almost groaned with waiting for her to initiate the kiss. But he waited, the air charged between them.

Finally, she lifted to her toes and touched her lips to the corner of his mouth, a gentle nibble, giving him a taste of what was to come.

Although he didn’t want nibbles and wanted to devour her in return, he closed his eyes and let her move at her own pace.

Her next kiss was against his top lip. She captured it, tugged it, then released it to do the same to his bottom lip. Each tug undid his mind, so when she reached the other corner of his mouth, he was lost in a haze.

By the time she finished her tantalizing kissing, as if she had all the time in the world, she placed a kiss against his mouth fully and completely. In that instant, he opened for her, fusing their lips, taking control of the kiss with a strength and power that catapulted them swiftly to heights he’d never gone before—heights that made him instantly breathless and weightless.

As she joined in the passionate melding, her hand continued to twist tightly into his shirt, winding the fabric until the buttons strained. She wasn’t afraid to show her desire, wasn’t afraid to be passionate, wasn’t shy about expressing herself. And with those qualities, the kiss was nothing short of life-altering, setting his axis off-center.

He became aware that one of his hands was snagged in her hair, keeping her in place against him. His other hand was splayed across her back, pressing her closer, except that her arms were still between them, her fists on his chest and in his shirt.

Regardless, he could feel her body and knew that if he wasn’t careful, he could easily go on kissing her. While stealing a forbidden kiss at the pond in the rain was one thing, he couldn’t let himself get carried away with any more than that. He had to keep the boundaries up between them somehow....

With a strength he didn’t know he possessed, he broke the connection between them. He was loathe to release her mouth, hungered for her even more now that he’d tasted her, but he took a rapid step away.

Wearing his dark suit coat over her uniform, she was practically engulfed in it. Her damp hair was stuck to her face, her cheeks were flushed, her blue eyes lighter than a sky at dawn, and her lips...

Heat stabbed him low and hard. Her lips were swollen, and the little pucker in her upper lip was too hard to resist. He didn’t ask her permission. He stooped down and tasted that dip with his tongue and then followed with a short kiss.

As he pulled back, she gave a soft sound of complaint in her throat, one that nearly sent him to his knees. He had to put a barrier between them before he grabbed her and ravished her mouth again.

With an unsteady gait, he rounded the bench until he was on the side with the blowing rain. She was watching him, her fingers touching her upper lip where he’d just kissed her. Her beautiful eyes were filled with both wonder and questions.

Likely questions about what it all meant.

What exactly did the kiss mean?

He’d never approved of men—not even Liam—having relations with their maids. The women were vulnerable, perhaps even felt helpless and feared for losing their jobs if they didn’t cooperate with the men of the house.

Kiernan didn’t want to be like that, but was he becoming like Liam anyway?

“Forgive me, Alannah.” He jabbed his hands into his hair. “I overstepped myself just now, and I apologize.”

“’Tis not your fault, to be sure.” She let her hand flutter away from her mouth. “I was too forward with you. And I apologize.”

“You do?”

She nodded and turned partially away. “I think we should agree to put the moment behind us and never think on it again.”

Oh, he’d think on it again, probably for the rest of his life. But could he put it behind him, at least for now?

Frustration shot through him at the prospect of moving on from the kiss and acting like it didn’t happen. In fact, he wanted to kiss her again.

His attention slid to her lips, rounded and full and soft. He wanted to spend every day, all day kissing those tantalizing lips. Was that a possibility?

He’d never imagined he’d be so attracted—even in love—with a woman like Alannah, someone from a different echelon of life, someone who didn’t fit into his world.

But after the past few months of getting to know her, especially after her move to Oakland, he had to admit he didn’t want to lose her. He wanted her to be a part of his life. But how would such a union work? Especially one without a dowry? Or without his parents’ approval?

Bellamy had agreed to assist with a match today. But what if he didn’t need Bellamy’s assistance? What if he considered Alannah? Would she be agreeable? She needed a match as soon as possible too. He could help her with that. They could help each other. A union would be mutually beneficial.

Should he bring up the possibility?

She didn’t move from behind the bench except to huddle deeper within his coat. Her long hair cascaded in disarray around her, and he wanted to plunge his fingers back into the silky strands and lose himself there.

“Can we agree to forget all about what just happened?” she asked again.

“No—”

At a call from near the pond, he swung his attention away from her to find Bellamy leading his horse with Torin trailing after him. The rain was still falling steadily, and both men were plodding forward regardless. Apparently, they were serious enough about getting Alannah matched that they weren’t taking the time to wait for the rain to pass before meeting.

Kiernan didn’t blame Torin for the rush. If their roles had been reversed, he would be doing his best to marry Alannah off before Shaw could get his hands on her. What would Torin say if he offered himself as a match for Alannah?

A scowl formed on the young man’s face as he took in Kiernan. Clearly, Torin hadn’t been expecting him to be at the pond, probably thought Bellamy would have Alannah’s match there.

Bellamy’s hat was pulled low, and he was wearing an oiled cloak, well prepared for the rain. He stopped at a nearby tree to secure his horse, looking as calm and unruffled as always.

What would the matchmaker think about matching him with Alannah? No doubt Bellamy would be surprised at the suggestion, but if Kiernan explained how he’d grown to care about Alannah, maybe Bellamy would agree to the proposition and help to convince Torin. Together, the three of them could persuade Alannah.

Kiernan squared his shoulders, letting determination rise within him—the same determination he’d fostered for his business enterprises. He was a driven man and almost always got what he wanted. In this case, he wanted Alannah. He was smart and savvy, and if he put his mind to it, could he win her over?

As Torin ducked under the roof of the pavilion and out of the rain, he didn’t remove his glare from Kiernan. “What are you doing here?”

“It’s lovely to see you too, Torin,” Alannah said wryly.

Torin tore his attention away from Kiernan, removing his dripping hat and drying his rain-streaked spectacles before focusing on Alannah. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” She offered her brother a smile.

He didn’t smile in return. Instead, he turned toward Kiernan again. Before Kiernan could brace himself, Torin plowed into him, slamming a fist into his gut, knocking the wind from him. Kiernan was unprepared for the hit, and the momentum threw him backward out of the pavilion into the rain.

Torin followed after him, sending another punch against his chin.

Pain ricocheted through Kiernan’s head, but at the glint of a blade slicing through the air, Kiernan spun away from Torin. The knife missed him by mere inches.

With murder flashing in his eyes and hardening features, Torin came after him again.

Alannah was shouting at Torin, but the rain and the pounding of Kiernan’s heart kept him from hearing what she said. He was too focused on the knife Torin was holding out.

“I told you I’d kill you if you used her.” Torin’s voice echoed with anger.

Had Torin heard the rumors? In particular the one about Alannah and him? “I didn’t sleep with Alannah.”

“He didn’t, Torin!” Alannah had stepped out into the rain now, too, and was crossing toward her brother.

Before she could reach Torin, Bellamy barreled into the young man with his shoulder. Although Bellamy wasn’t an overly muscular fellow, the power of the slam sent Torin flying so that he landed on his backside in the grass. Torin didn’t immediately move, as though the blow had stunned him.

Bellamy caught up to Torin and stomped on his arm, pinning the hand with the knife to the ground.

Torin started to reach for his boot where he kept his second knife, but Bellamy’s other foot came down hard on Torin’s arm, halting him and forcing his hand to the ground.

“Doncha be doing anything stupid now.” In his long black oiled cloak and black hat, Bellamy looked more like the grim reaper coming for a soul rather than cupid sowing seeds of love.

“He used Alannah.” Torin’s expression was tortured as he stared up at Bellamy.

Kiernan wanted to deny the man’s accusation. But a part of him knew he deserved Torin’s wrath. He might not have slept with Alannah, but he had kissed her just a few moments ago. And he shouldn’t have done so, not without some kind of promise to her for their future.

Alannah stood in the middle of the fray, the rain beginning to plaster her unbound hair to her body. “Mr. Shanahan hasn’t used me, Torin. He’s not that kind of man.”

Kiernan wanted to believe she was right. But now that they’d kissed, would he be able to resist kissing her again if the opportunity presented itself? He liked to think he could, but what if he was too weak?

The truth was, if he wanted to stay strong, he had to stop putting himself into situations that might cause him to stumble. Or maybe he needed to push forward with considering a match with her.

Without his hat, Kiernan became conscious of the rain pelting his head and soaking his hair, penetrating through the layers of his garments, splattering against his face. It was the punishment he deserved for kissing Alannah. Now he had to make amends.

“I have a solution to our problems,” he stated more calmly than he was feeling. “Not only with the recent rumors but also with Shaw Farrell’s threats.”

Bellamy glanced at him expectantly. Torin, still locked into place on the ground by Bellamy’s boots, turned his angry gaze to Kiernan.

“I realize Bellamy probably has other candidates in mind for Alannah.” Kiernan forced himself to speak. “But I’d like to be considered as her top match.”

Her eyes widened at his declaration, her long lashes damp with raindrops he wished he could kiss away.

Torin only stared, his mouth stalling around a response. And Bellamy shifted away from Kiernan, but not before he glimpsed a small, satisfied smile on the fellow’s lips.

Why was Bellamy acting as though he’d gotten what he wanted? Had he planned this match between them all along? Was that why he’d proposed the wager?

Bellamy had certainly seemed to think something was going on that day at Enya’s house. Maybe he’d intended to use all the other women as a way to open Kiernan’s eyes to the kind of match he really needed: a woman like Alannah.

If so, it had worked.

“I need an urgent match and so does Alannah.” Kiernan spoke the logical conclusion aloud, hoping everyone else would agree. “So why not consider the option?”

Bellamy didn’t remove his boots from Torin’s arms, but he slipped his hand inside his coat pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. He held it toward Alannah.

She took the sheet from Bellamy and swiftly stepped into the confinement of the pavilion, her back facing them as she unfolded the paper.

Bellamy cocked his head at her. “Alannah knows you were the man I picked for her.”

“I was your candidate?” Kiernan couldn’t hold the question in.

“Oh aye.” This time Bellamy didn’t hide his smile.

Torin, still unmoving on the ground, leaned his head back and seemed to relax, the fight gone.

Kiernan leveled a glare at Bellamy. “Why didn’t you say so from the start?”

Bellamy gave a one-shouldered shrug. “If you hadn’t been so stubborn, you would have figured it out earlier.”

Was the matchmaker right? Bellamy had wanted to do his job without interference. But Kiernan had insisted on his way, as usual.

“I admit. I was stubborn.” Kiernan supposed he wouldn’t have been able to acknowledge that stubbornness unless he’d gone through the process of visiting with all the women and discovering for himself that none of them could ever compare to Alannah. Even though it had taken time and effort, he’d learned his lesson well—that his list of qualifications was superficial and selfish and stupid. Bellamy had seen that from the start.

If Bellamy had told Alannah about their match, why hadn’t she brought it up?

Kiernan’s mind spun back to all the times they’d met at night. Had she been agreeable to spending time with him because she assumed they were courting? Most likely when she’d heard about him seeing all the other women and realized he wasn’t courting her after all, that had been why she’d stopped visiting with him.

He’d been a fool not to consider her from the moment he’d met her. He supposed in some deep place in his soul, he’d already known how special she was, but he’d been too consumed with making himself important, too focused on what he could gain, too caught up in becoming better than his da.

But couldn’t he have her and still make everything else work?

Kiernan hungrily took her in again. Safe from the rain beneath the roof of the pavilion, she was reading whatever was on the sheet. Was it some kind of agreement for their match?

“Mr. Shanahan wants to marry Alannah?” Torin rolled out from underneath Bellamy’s boots and sat up.

“Why else do you think I arranged this meeting today?” Bellamy glanced to the sky overhead as if grateful for the rain.

It was Kiernan’s turn to gape. Bellamy had purposefully orchestrated the time together alone at the pond. No doubt he’d hoped the rain would force Kiernan and Alannah to talk, maybe even confess their feelings to one another.

Torin was staring at Kiernan, amazement softening his features. “Mr. Shanahan cares about Alannah? Enough to marry her?”

Bellamy nodded. “Oh aye. He does. And he’s finally admitting it.”

Kiernan couldn’t respond, was still speechless over Bellamy’s cleverness. He should have seen it, especially after watching him match his two sisters. But he’d underestimated the fellow.

On the one hand, Kiernan didn’t want Alannah having to learn about his true feelings for her this way, secondhand from Bellamy. On the other hand, he was relieved he no longer had to deny to himself and everyone else that he liked Alannah.

The question was, did she like him enough to marry him?

Alannah’s shoulders had stiffened, and her body had turned rigid.

“I thought it was only fair,” Bellamy continued noncha lantly while nodding toward the paper Alannah was holding, “that Alannah knew your list of qualifications for a wife before she agreed to the match.”

Kiernan’s heartbeat slammed to a halt against his chest. What was Bellamy doing? The list wasn’t for Alannah. He didn’t want her to see it, not even a single line of it.

Kiernan darted forward. He needed to get the paper from her, needed to throw it away. Because that’s where the list belonged—in a rubbish heap.