Page 40 of A Trial of the Heart

Chapter

Thirty-Nine

Rashad:

“What’s up, Pops,” I greeted, stepping into my parent’s place without knocking. No matter how old my brother and I got, we were always welcomed without invitation. My pops was sitting in the front room with ESPN on mute and his feet propped up in the recliner.

“What’s up, young one?” He greeted me with his normal greeting, barely peeling his eyes from the TV.

Though it had been on mute, I knew my pops knew exactly what was taking place as the subtitles that displayed quickly on the TV gave the gist for the most part.

Since I could remember, ESPN was his channel of choice and polishing his antique toy cars had been a thing for him.

When he retired from the shipyard years ago, both became more of a thing than it was before.

“Where’s ya old lady?” I looked around, referring to my mother.

“It’s Wednesday,” was his comeback. He still didn’t look my way.

I chuckled. “Ahhh… okay.”

Wednesdays for my mother were dedicated to Win it Wednesday down at the local bingo hall. She wasn’t missing it no matter what was happening in life.

My mother being out of the house was actually a good thing since I’d come over to talk to my pops and get some advice I knew he’d give. Instead of coming right out and telling him I wanted to talk, I childishly looked his way occasionally hoping he’d catch the hint.

“I know I’m something nice to look at, but I know for a fact you didn’t waltz your ass over to my house to steal glances as if I’m somebody you’re crushing on.”

I chuckled, leaning back on the couch I’d recently sat on. Getting myself together, I scooted to the edge of the seat.

“You ready to be a grandfather?”

If I didn’t have his attention before, I surely had it now as he looked at me. His expression was one I wouldn’t forget.

“Whatchu mean?”

“That girl I was telling you about… she’s pregnant. Twins actually.”

“Keeping the pregnancy?”

“Seems like it.”

“Well, damn, Rashad, I told you go get her, not hang ya horse and get stuck for life.” He was so nonchalant in his response.

Once again, I couldn’t contain my laughter. “Pops, really?”

“Hell yeah, really,” he drawled. “Ya mother know about this?” he asked like I was a teenager and had broken some rules.

“Nah.”

“Well, ya know when she finds out, she’s going to be the happiest she has ever been.”

Since I was about twenty-five, my mother pressed my brother and I about making them grandparents before they were too old. She always said since she and my pops waited to have children, her parents nor his had the luxury of meeting us as they were deceased before we were born.

“Yeah,” I responded.

“Only thing on your mind?”

“Remember that case?”

This time, it was his turn to chuckle. “Not something that is easily forgotten. What about it? Still causing you trouble, even after the dismissal?”

“Yes and no.”

“Gonna elaborate, or you just gonna have me fishing for stuff all evening?”

“Long story short, it’s Shiloh.”

He nodded in understanding. “She the one set you up?”

“Nah.”

“So why the mention of it?”

“She may not have set me up, but she found out I was innocent and didn’t even try to clear my name. So, it makes me believe that she would have allowed me to go to prison without fighting for me.”

“You sure about that?”

My pops question caused me to stop and think. I shrugged.

“Why else would she not speak up?”

“Just because it wasn’t on your time doesn’t mean she wouldn’t.”

For as long as I could remember, my father was so calm and such an optimist that at times it irritated me. He was always the thinker that had to see the bigger picture before passing judgement.

“Maybe so, but it was a gamble with my future, and I wasn’t willing to take the chance.”

“So, you jumped the gun and didn’t allow her to show you her loyal side. She’s now pregnant, and let me guess, y’all no longer together?”

“Nah. We not together.” I chose to only respond to the last part.

“Hmm…” he muttered lowly.

I knew he was judging how I handled it, and as I sat here, maybe I had acted prematurely.

“She told me she loved me…” I revealed after a bout of silence.

His eyes shifted to me again. “You tell her back?”

“I didn’t.”

“Hmm.”

“Pops, say what you want to say.”

He chuckled. “Do you love her?”

Since hearing Shiloh say it, I asked myself a million times did I feel the same way as she did.

“I do,” I finally admitted for the first time out loud. On the occasions I asked myself did I, I avoided the thought of my answer, forcing myself to do something else so I didn’t have to face the truth.

“You gotta tell her that.”

In confusion, I lifted my hand to the top of my head with a sigh.

“Pops, you heard anything I said in these last few minutes?”

“Loud and clear. But have you heard her side? I mean, just from the little you told me, she doesn’t seem like the type that was going to let you go down.

I could be wrong, but it’s worth the conversation.

Hypothetically speaking, if she was, she is now about to be the mother of not one but two of your children.

You owe it to her to tell her how you feel.

You can be honest about your feelings, tell her why y’all can’t be together, and move on.

But for your sake, get the closure you need on your relationship before those babies come into this world.

Having children will only put more of a wedge between y’all. You owe it to yourself and to her.”

My Pops was a wise man, and I trusted and respected his words on a lot of things, but for the first time, I was second guessing his advice.

On the surface, Shiloh was the one, but her betrayal put her at the bottom of the totem pole.

I appreciated my pops and would take his words into consideration, but in the end, it was up to me how I moved.

With one arm resting behind my head, the other dropped across my stomach and my eyes following the slow-moving ceiling fan with many thoughts clouding my brain.

It was a little before two in the morning, and I’d been in bed trying to fall asleep since about midnight.

The way the conversation between my pops and I played on repeat in my mind was insane, so I couldn’t get any sleep.

“Shit.” I huffed, sitting up and tossing my legs over the side of the bed.

Lifting my iPhone from my nightstand, I raked my hand over my waves before going to Shiloh’s contact information.

It was late, and I probably should have texted her or avoided it all together.

The time mattered, but in the same breath, it didn’t.

Saying screw it, I pushed the phone icon to call her.

The ringing of the phone reverberated off my walls.

The phone rang twice, and my plan was to hang up after the fourth ring if she hadn’t answered.

“Hello?” Shiloh’s low voice suffused the room. At the hour I was calling, I expected to have woken her up, but her tone didn’t sound as though she was sleeping.

“I wake you?”

Shiloh giggled softly. “No. I should be sleep, but I have a new pregnancy ick called heartburn interrupting any sleep I planned on having.”

She was only a few months along, but with her carrying twins, I imagined all her symptoms to be more intense and earlier on.

“Anything I can do?” I wasn’t sure how to handle a pregnant woman since I never had to, but if I could help Shiloh in any way since they were my babies, I would.

“Yogurt, milk, tums, and a damn foot rub would be nice,” she said in a sarcastic tone.

“Say less. I got you.” I stood from my bed, already grabbing my shirt, and sweatpants. “I can be there in twenty.” I slipped on my sweats. “Make it thirty since I have to go to WaWa’s to grab the stuff.”

“Wait. Right now?” she asked in confusion.

“You said you needed it and can’t sleep because of it, so I got you.”

“Wow,” she mumbled. I imagined her to be smiling from ear to ear. “Well, since you coming, can you grab some hot cheese popcorn and grape jelly? I can Cash App you the money.”

I didn’t understand the two things together; I didn’t ask any questions, though. “Nah, keep the money. It’s not a big deal.” I casually responded, stepping into my Nike Air Max’s. “Be there in a bit.”

Again, I couldn’t see Shiloh, but I just knew she was smiling by the way her breathing had changed.

“Okay,” she said before we disconnected the call.

“Never thought I’d see the day where something tasted so good,” Shiloh moaned, dropping her head back on the couch with her eyes closed as she had a mouth orgasm from the nasty blend of food.

When Shiloh asked for the hot cheese popcorn and jelly, I didn’t expect her to mix the shit together, eat it, and actually enjoy it.

“Ain’t no way that tastes good.” The look alone had my stomach rumbling. “Keep it up with that, ya gonna have hair on your chest from the heartburn, and stomach gonna sound like Timberlands in a dryer.”

Shiloh cupped her hand over her mouth full of food, laughing uncontrollably. Her eyes squinting made her eyes look Asian. She was cute, and her laugh sounded so innocent. “You’re crazy.”

Seeing and hearing her laugh made me feel good since things had been so hot and cold for her and even us lately. Continuing to watch her laugh, I couldn’t pull my eyes from her. Shiloh was perfect in every way.

“What?” Her laughing ceased, and she narrowed her eyes my way.

“Lemme ask you something.” I hated to change gears and so fast, but my question needed an answer.

“Okay…”

“Were you ever going to prove my innocence?” I got straight to the point.

Shiloh’s brows dipped in the middle of her forehead, one eye closed more than the other, and her mouth pressed firmly together.

“I was. Since I was the minority at the office and was already fighting for my own spot, I had to get all the proof I could to make it happen. I wouldn’t have let you go down; I was fighting for you but had to be smart in how I did it.

” Shiloh paused. “Before I could bring it to light, your team beat me to it.” She kind of shrugged at the last part.

With an even expression, I kept quiet, studying her, trying to see her flinch, blink wrong, or even exhale unevenly to see if she was lying. Nothing changed. She was telling the truth.

“Damn,” was all I could mumble.

Shiloh scooted to the edge of the couch.

“Listen, you and I got together on some one-night stand situation. It was fun while it had lasted. Honestly, I never expected the world to be so small that we’d reconnect in the manner we did.

Expected or not, it happened. It may have seemed like we came from the opposite sides of the track, but truthfully, we were the same Rashad.

Despite it all, me pushing you away, us getting together, me getting pregnant, and saying I didn’t need you around…

even now… It seemed like we just couldn’t be anything more than the sex we had…

.” Shiloh paused and dropped her head to the side. “I fell in love with you, Rashad.”

She shrugged slightly. Tears seemed to pool in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall.

This was the second time Shiloh had said she loved me.

What was I to do with that? Gazing into her brown, teary eyes that once displayed sadness, I saw hope and love.

Nodding slightly, I slowly leaned her way, and our lips touched with ease.

The kiss was unhurried. The sweet grape jelly lingered on her tongue, and the smell of her sweet intoxicating scent filled my nose.

Feeling her become limp under my touch, I pulled back enough to peer into her eyes.

Lifting my hand with my finger, I stroked the side of her face, pushing the single piece of hair from its frame. My lips curled into a smile.

“I love you,” I admitted, no longer seeing the need to pretend like something wasn’t there.

Shiloh gasped softly before a smile took over her features.

“Say it again,” she whispered, and I noticed the tears she tried to prevent managed to slip out and roll slowly down her face.

Matching her smile, I once again leaned in.

“I love you.” My lips grazed hers with my confession.

“I love you too,” Shiloh said before I felt her soft lips against mine.

This time, the kiss was more hurried and passionate than before.

Shiloh took the lead, and I followed. We had a lot ahead of us, and I didn’t know what the next day would bring, but I knew, in this moment, it felt right with Shiloh, and I would enjoy the time.